Fed Up People Sound Off On The Double Standards That Irritate Them Most
Society is rife with double standards, and they can be really frustrating - discriminatory, even. We experience them every day, the question is, what do we do about them?
RxPharmChem asked, Hey Reddit: Which "double-standard" irritates you the most?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Hidden charges are most definitely a double standard.
The other day I got a new iPhone. I told the salesperson I didn't want to make any changes to my account. 2 days later I get an email saying congrats on signing up for cell phone insurance for 9.99 a month. Not once did this salesperson utter the words cell phone insurance.When a salesperson steals an extra $9.99 a month from me they call it cross-selling and don't see anything wrong with it.
There's a big double standard here.
Work over 12-15 hour day to get your project in by deadline is fine, but don't you dare show up 5 minutes late the next day.
(Salaried employee, paid based on a 40 hour week, trend towards 50-60 hours average)
Edit: Should point out that I love the job and feel I get paid a good rate. Just annoyed after getting called out by the sales staff who don't have to pull extended shifts.
Smoke breaks have always seemed, to me at least, a very strange double standard.
I work for a small business (8 employees). Smokers (4 of the 8 of us) are allowed "smoke breaks" whenever they feel like it (we aren't given regular coffee breaks or lunch) during which they aren't required to punch out or put anything other than, and I quote management here, "a reasonable time-limit on". I don't smoke, but I do like a bit of fresh air every now and then so I go outside for 3-5 minutes and check my email or read the news on my phone. This is completely unacceptable to my boss, because, and let me quote her directly again, "phones are an addiction that waste company time". I asked her why smokers aren't held to this standard and I was told: "smokers need to smoke, you don't need to read the news".
Mother Lily needs to reevaluate her standards.
A double standard imposed on me by my mother-in-law (conversation happened earlier):
Mother-in-law: If I ever catch you cheating on your wife, I'll cut you with a machete.
Neighbor: But, Mother Lily, your sons are horndogs and have different children from different mothers. Are you gonna cut them, too?
Mother-in-law: Now, why would I cut my own sons?
PS. I don't cheat on my wife.
This seems relevant to our current time.
When contrarians claim they're open-minded, and yet are completely unwilling to listen to sound counterarguments.
Oh boy, the anti-medicine and anti-vaxxer crowds... sigh (FYI: paracetamol is acetaminophen, the pain killer in Tylenol).
My hippie friends who believe modern medicine is evil and that chemicals are dangerous, to the point of never taking paracetamol or even believing things like vaccines are bad (maybe I use the words 'friends' too broadly) but don't give a f*** about snorting something that they've bought from a guy they barely know. The irony is that most of that misc powder is probably paracetamol.
Is this a double standard? Or just ridiculous?
Acknowledging the existence of children trying to interact with me (I'm a guy). Example; was a cashier and this kid with some mental disorder (Downs I think) always loved to talk to me when his parents were going through cash (his dad said he always remembered me). Long story short, got hauled into the office by my boss and I was told my behavior was inappropriate. For talking to a kid. About food.
Extreme fears of stranger danger are xenophobic, and definitely a double standard.
I experienced this just a few days ago. I was at a museum and a little girl came up to me and my kid while we were playing with the instruments. I handed her one so she could join in and we're having a good time making terrible music. Her mother quickly swooped in and told her not to interact with dangerous people. I was so humiliated I left instantly with my kid. I have a kid and you think I'm dangerous?
Good managers hold themselves to a higher standard than their teams, not different standards.
How about this one:
If you're late again, I'm writing you up
Leaves 3 hours before her scheduled shift (that she gave herself) ends without warning
Demanding artists to perform for free is an egregious double standard.
People: I want more art, music, movies and other forms of entertainment.
Also people: I don't want to pay for any of it or it isn't worth my money.
The often paltry penalties for white collar crimes, if they're even prosecuted at all, represent a huge double standard, considering the damage they cause.
White collar crime sometimes affects millions of people and has a tiny prison sentence, and is way more nefarious, compared to a drug offense that typically only affects a small group of friends/family.
Acknowledging our personal inconsistencies is how we become better people.
Probably my own. That's to say noticing the hypocrisy in my beliefs and actions. If I can't call bullsh_t on myself then I don't have much of a right to call it in others. Hopefully, I'm arcing toward improvement but I have a lot of work to do.
Respect is earned, taught, and reciprocal, always.
"If you won't respect me, I won't respect you"
Which doesn't sound like a double-standard, but when you consider what context it is used in it changes. My father used to say this when I wouldn't do exactly as he commanded me to.
The issue is that there are levels of respect, while it might sound like an "if you won't treat me with a certain amount of respect, I won't show the same amount back", but it is executed as:
"If you won't respect me as an authority, I won't respect you as a basic human"
Letting them treat you with way less respect than you treated them, while still being fair in their eyes.
Men: it's okay to show emotion, including crying. Releasing emotion is healthy. Bottling it up poses real health risks.
"Men don't cry". Every single instance that says men aren't supposed to show emotions, tears, anything that could be considered a "weakness" pisses me off to no end. Bonus irritation points if that's considered a sign of homosexuality as if that's a weakness. Sadness isn't exclusively feminine.
Bottling up emotions is one of the most toxic things I've ever done, and I'm probably still doing it unconsciously due to my upbringing. I'm certain that most men are. And that's fucked.
Looking at a screen for fun is looking at a screen for fun.
Saw this one firsthand in a store once that made me laugh:
Mother: "All you do is waste your time playing video games."
Teenage kid: "You're on Facebook as much as I'm playing games."
Mother: [long pause] "That's different."
The idea that men showing compassion toward kids is somehow predatory is a big double standard.
As a teacher, there are times I would love to be able to put an arm around a student who is crying or have a student come back to my room for extra help if they are struggling, but I'm male.....so that can't happen. We are literally told by our administration never to do any of that if we are male.
Is there really a difference between watching people play sports and watching people play video games? Not really.
For me, it was a work colleague that is fanatical about football (soccer). He would watch every game of football on TV. He could not understand that his kids enjoy watching gamers play on twitch as his kids are only "watching others play" and "they should play themselves".
Gee whiz there Einstein, what are you doing????????
Failure is a part of success, and outside-the-box ideas are what drive us forward. Go for it!
Society: If someone fought all odds and tried something very different and succeeded: "what a great achiever. Totally deserved to win as he/she did something very different instead of following the way others did".
Society: If someone fought all odds and tried something very different and failed: "what a foolish idiot. Totally obvious that he'd/she'd fail as he/she did something very different instead of following the way others did".
Petty revenge to a crazy double standard? Nailed it.
In my building there is this old lady, we always said "good morning" to one another or smiled, so she obviously knew I lived there.
To enter my building you need a key. Once it was raining and windy outside, and my key was lost somewhere in my bag under a pile of books, papers and god knows what else. So I was freezing, searching frantically through my bag for the key when I see her coming out. I think great, she will let me in. She went out of the building and closed the door behind her while pushing me out so I could not come in, all the time looking at me suspiciously. "I can't let you in if you don't have the key," she said.
A couple of days later the same situation occurred, except it was me coming out and she was looking for her key. I seized the opportunity for revenge and did exactly the same thing, closing the door in front of her face and telling her I couldn't let her in without a key. She was still screaming obscenities at me while I walked away. Wtf. You reap what you sow.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.