Being a parent means instilling your child with a decent sense of right and wrong. That is, when it doesn't come at great personal harm to yourself, right? This could be where the classic, "Kids, don't tell your mother," expression comes from. Whatever the mess, whatever the spill, whatever the injury, it's worth a little lie on your conscience, right?
Reddit user, u/Tufflaw, wanted dads and the kids they swore to secrecy to break their vows and share:
Dads of Reddit, what is your best "Don't tell your mother" moment with your kid?
"You Let Them Play Video Games?!"
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Haven't done this with my kids yet but I remember one from my childhood: My mom did not allow us to have video game consoles in the house. (Yes, we were deprived children.) My brother and I shared a room. He won a TV at a school party and one day I bought an N64 and several games at a garage sale. We then snuck these items into our house, and set them up in our closet. We'd been playing Mariokart, Goldeneye, and Super Smash Bros. for a couple days when my Dad walked in our room and we weren't fast enough to dump the pile of clothes over things to keep them hidden.
There was an awkward silence then the following conversation happened.
Dad: Is that a Nintendo?
Us: Yes.
Dad: Does your Mom know you have this?
Us: Probably not.
Dad: Do you have another controller?
He played with us for a while, told us not to tell mom and to this day we've all kept our secret.
"You Let Them Drink?!"
When I was underage my dad would let me have a drink every once in awhile.
The first time he had asked me to make him a screwdriver. I said sure then jokingly said "only if I get one too!" He was like "eh, whatever. You're 18 and not going anywhere tonight. Don't tell your mom."
When he passed away I was telling that story. As it turns out, mom knew the whole time. She didn't care because we were bonding.
"You Were Doing What In The Car?!"
I was in the car with my dad one winter when he pulls into an empty car park and starts pulling mad skids on the ice.
When I questioned wtf he was doing, the look on his face made it pretty clear he forgot I was in the back of the car. It made me wonder what other random sh-t he gets up to when he's on his own.
"You Ate What?!"
My wife got a birthday cake for her friends surprise party. I thought it was for us cuz it was in the fridge so I ate it.
Son saw me, knew he would tell her. He made me buy him a toy batmobile for not telling.
At least I know he's my son...
So you just ran out and got the same exact cake or what?
Tbh... Ya. I called the bakery and they got the same cake within an hour for free. I also was able to finish that other cake... Shoutout
"You Know How To Do What?!"
When my mother was away with her job for two weeks. I one evening after i was laid to bed got up, and saw my dad ironing his own shirts, he looked at me and said: "Don't tell your mom that I know how to do this. "
"You Gave Them Sugar?!"
My kid rats me out every dang time I give her sugar. Lollipop at the store? First thing she says when we get home.
Snitch.
You're Next!
I guess this is more of being ratted out, but if I crack a rat, he yells "Daddy fong pei!" Which mean "Daddy farted" in Cantonese.
Someone's getting the Dutch oven treatment soon.
Need For Something...
Wife and I went with high school band down to local band competition to support one of our kids. About 5 hours drive away through mostly desert. Competition was Friday night, then had to assist coaching my son's Jr. High football game at 9am on Sat., and back in distant city with son for final competition Sat night.
I rented GT 500 Mustang and took it home. Well over 100mph late at night on the way home. And same coming back. Had to tell him not to tell Mom we hit more than 130mph.
He loved it.
You're Last On The List, Now!
Trying out my new longbow in the garage and just so slightly missed the target and right through the garage door.
I didn't even have time to say "oh crap" before one of my kids yelled "mom, guess what dad just did!"
Missed The Firsts
i've got twin 14 month old girls, and a 10 year old stepdaughter. Mom works most nights, so it's just me and the girls. One of the twins took her first steps playing with me and her older sister, and i made the 10 year old promise not to tell her mom.
We had been practicing walking with them for months and knew we were really close but they just had to take that first leap of faith. I don't want her to think she missed first steps because she was working.
Stand Up For Yourself
I've always raised my kids to be strong. Pick themselves up when they fall rather than cry about it every since they were babies.
That being said me and my son (who was two at the time) were at the playground. This mom shows up with two of her kids, a boy around 5 and a girl about 7 or so. You could tell just by the way she was acting that she was a Coddler and one of those "My kids don't do no wrong because I'm there to protect them" kind of woman.
Well her 5 year old son was kicking a soccer ball around and I saw him look at my two year old, take a running start and kick the ball right at my 2 y/o sons head and knock him to the ground, he wasn't on the ground 2 seconds! Not even shedding a tear my son stood up picked up that soccer ball walked over to the kid said "that's not nice" and smashed the ball off of the kids face, this kid goes to the ground crying and his mother runs over hysterically freaking out.
Keep in mind that she didn't care her son kicked a ball at my son's head just that my son stood up to him, so the kids crying like a baby, moms freaking out and right in front of the kid and his mom my two year old said "Walk it off and Stop Acting Like a F-cking Pussy!"
Took him for ice cream afterwards I had never felt so proud in my life
Rat Them Out
When I was a kid my father set the driveway on fire trying to burn out a stump.
I wasn't taking the fall for that though.
Just Wait And See
My son farted on the pizza and I didn't tell mom because I wanted to see how she would react
Getting Them Started Early
I had just poured a beer into a glass and then picked up my 1 year old. Kid in the left arm, beer in the right hand. I was carrying both to the family room so he could play and I could watch some hockey. I was momentarily distracted by a highlight and when I glanced back, his hand was in my beer glass and then he shoved it right into his mouth.
I hurriedly set the beer down, pulled his hand out and dried it off as quick as I could. "Buddy I know you can't talk yet but let's just keep this one between us"
Shoot Yourself In The Foot
One day I picked my daughter up from daycare and gave her a candy bar. I told her not to tell mom. No problems there. So then about a week later we are all in the car and I tell my wife "Oh I gave her a candy bar last time I picked her up." My daughter gets mad at me like "DAD, YOU SAID NOT TO TELL MOMMY!"
So yeah, that's my best. The time my daughter got mad at me for telling mom when I said not too.
"You Let Them Swim Near What?!"
Oh I got this.
My daughter and I are on a 10-day road trip through the American South, an AirBNB here, a campground there and one state park right outside of Jackson, Mississippi.
We'd just come from New Orleans where, among other things, we had taken a "Swamp Tour" where we were within spitting distance of some massive alligators. After 6 or so hours of driving, we decided to pitch a tent for the night by a river. At the time, my daughter was 8 years-old and couldn't get enough swimming. The park ranger was making his rounds so we asked him if it was cool to go swimming in the river and he recommends a spot only a few minutes walk from where we were camped.
So we do just that. A couple of hours of splashing around and having fun and such and we go roast our hotdogs and retire—at which point we are treated to the most glorious lightning storm I've ever seen.
The next morning, we wake up and while we're packing up camp, two local ladies start chatting us up and they happen to mention the family of alligators they had seen swimming in the river.
Horrified, I asked where. They pointed right to where we were swimming. I asked if they had seen them the day before and they said yes, same spot.
I literally looked at my daughter and said "Mommy is never to hear of this."
That was such a great trip for so many other reasons, but that story sticks out.
"You Ran Out Of Gas Mid-Flight?!"
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When I was growing up, my dad was a private pilot (but former military pilot with many thousands of hours) and would sometimes take me along. One day, mid-flight, the engine just quit and we found ourselves at 5,000 feet and steadily descending in a glide over some pretty forested land.
Turns out he had forgotten to switch fuel tanks mid-flight (there were three in the plane and you're supposed to switch between them as you fly to ensure a constant supply of fuel and proper balancing). Luckily he diagnosed the issue and re-started the engine with a couple thousand feet to spare, and we were fine.
After he got sorted and chilled out a bit, he clicked on the intercom and said, "you're not gonna tell your mom about that, are you?"
I was about 13 years old (I'm in my 40s now), and she still doesn't know. She was paranoid about us kids flying with him and that would have been the end of it. He's in his 70s and still flying. Swears that's the only time he's ever had a brain fart like that while flying. I don't know if I believe him.
What do you not want your kids' mother to find out about? Share it with us!
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- Don't Tell My Mother! :: About Us ›
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...