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Patients say the darndest things. Often doctors may believe they're hearing is off. But, sometimes it can all seem very run of the mill. Everyday in the ER is not an episode of "Grey's Anatomy" so medical professionals feel like normal is the.... normal, until it's not.
Redditor u/poppyoxymoron wanted to hear from the doctors of the world to discuss a few things by asking.... Doctors of reddit, what was the most shocking case of "oh I thought that was normal" you've seen in a patient?
WTH?!
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Former nursing student here. I grew up watching bugs bunny cartoons, and whenever I saw a closeup of the inside of the mouth there was always a large and dangling uvula (the thing hanging down at the back of one's throat) - just like mine. So naturally I assumed EVERYBODY had one like that. Fast forward to nursing school and I began looking inside people's mouths and seeing nub after pathetic nub of excuses for an uvula. I'm like "what the hell is that?" I suddenly realized I had a stalactite of a uvula in the back of my throat. mishymc
The Stroke.
My best friend is a doctor and he had a patient who couldn't move her arm but didn't even bother to mention it or seem concerned.
He checked blood pressure and various routine tests, then asked her to lift her arms to start doing some kind of neurological test.
"Oh sorry I can't move my left arm at all"
"This is a disability you have had for some time right?"
"Oh no just since this morning"
Turned out she'd had a stroke. Alsoamdsufferer
Brush Away.
Not a doctor and it not completely related but. I was in the dentist's chair and I heard an exchange from the next room over.
Aid: So why'd you come in today?
Patient: hey, yeah my teeth have been hurting and flaking off.
Aid: Well let's take a look.
(A minute of silence)
Aid: yes it looks like you have a very large amount of plaque built up on your teeth.
Patient: Oh is that what keep flaking off when I brush, cause I was worried it was my teeth falling apart.
Brush your teeth daily people. DarkestTimelineEvals
I'm on the opposite end of this. I used to think it was normal when I would go #2 in the bathroom my heart would race and I would break out into a sweat with my face turning bright red. My mom thought I was straining too hard. Saw a doctor and my blood pressure was through the roof, he suggested I had the symptoms of a rare condition. He was right, I had a tumor on one of my adrenal glands called pheochromocytoma. It got removed, I now poop normal. Kings_Daughter
Check Ups.
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During my short time as an acting physician at a hospital a middle-aged man walked in. I took my check-up tests and and he had testosterone levels at least 65% lower than average. When I asked him about it, he said that he thought all men felt like he him (low energy, infertility, sleep apnea, etc.) CardioInquisition
A Little Extra....
(Medical student) While chatting with a few friends who are fully fledged doctors and dentists I heard about this one:
Dude had, not one, not two but FOUR extra teeth in his mouth. Now this isn't exactly super rare or shocking on its own, but when asked about it, he said "Doesn't everyone have those...?"
The guy was also a medical student that we knew. Granted he was studying to be an optometrist (sorry opthalmologist**, english isn't my first language :D) so it's out of his field of study but still. AskingMartini
Be Fitbit.
Well, a doctor listened to my heart and lungs the other day and asked if I was nervous. I said no and showed him my Fitbit data of a daytime resting heartbeat between 90-120 and uh, yeah turns out I'm gonna need to get that checked out. agnathastone
Rescue Me.
I thought my tears stinging like hot acid when crying was normal, and that feeling a pain in your nose when crying was normal. Apparently it's not?
Conversation went something like this: watching sad dog rescue video with sibling Me: "Ah no I'm about to cry, I can feel the pain in my nose." Sibling: "????????????" Me: "y'know the pain in your nose when crying?" Sibling: "eeeeh that's not normal." Me: "pffft. And I guess tears feeling like acid isn't normal either? Silly. That's why you end up crying!" Sibling: "...." ViolentPuppy
Diagnosis.
I diagnose diabetes all the time. Many of my patients come in super sick. All have a history of drinking a lot and peeing a lot, but don't actually think it's a big deal until I ask and explain why people with diabetes pee so much. mvenus929
Unique.
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Not a doctor, but I was a combat medic. A dude came in describing puss leaking from between his legs. So I took a look, and under his penis and balls his taint wasn't fused together. So essentially he had a vagina, and it was infected. I let him know about his uniqueness, and he said "I thought everyone had that." No-collusion-suck-it
The Low.
Not a doctor, but a nurse. I was taking vitals during a routine physical of an older woman, her pulse was fast and very thready, and her blood pressure was shockingly low. Normal bp is about 120/80, hers was a mere 80/40. I asked her how she was feeling, she said fine. It turned out she had always had atrial fibrillation and knew about it but never thought to mention it to us, she was having an attack that day. luna8913
Vomit Machine.
I'm not a doctor, but I thought it was normal to immediately vomit food that you didn't like when you tried to eat it. Somehow, no one around me found it alarming that I immediately vomited every time I would try to eat a vegetable until my best friend pointed out that that's not a normal thing. I got a test as an adult, and yep, it turns out I have a rare and severe allergy to vegetables. SecretlyFBI
The Flesh.
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I've learned that skin pain isn't normal. Like, when someone touches my skin, it feels like they're rubbing sandpaper on me. I thought everyone had that. I'm getting tested to figure out what it is. chickadee35
Poop Storm.
Not a doctor, a patient that thought periods were supposed to immobilize you and that you basically pooped what looked like hair pulled out the shower drain out your vagina. Apparently I have blood clots and endometriosis. Had it since I was 11. Reddit
All the Toes.
Patient here! Didn't know it wasn't normal for toenails to just hurt. You know, all the time? Ingrown toenails are a pain if you ignore them!! My Mother noticed my obviously infected big toes, both of them. Holy crap, doctor, DON'T LET INGROWN TOENAILS GET SO BAD THEY'RE GOING THROUGH YOUR TOE!!!
Also learned that day that the way my toes grow (all 10 of those appendages) are shaped in such a way that I can't have toenails without ingrown toenails. Ever. At all. Someday in the next few years I have to get the rest of my toenails removed! Might dig out the picture of the removed big toenails if there's interest. Foodcity
Get it on Tape.
I heard this from my elementary teacher. There was a kid in her class years ago. He kept moving in class, and even keep dropping books and pencils around his table. Other kids couldn't concentrate, so she called his parents and told about him. The parents didn't believe her, saying she was framing their son. So, she filmed what's happening in the class. However, the parents insisted that the teacher edited files, sending only bad moments.
So, she told them to come, and see what's happening in her class. The mother saw, and cried after class, saying she didn't know her son. Then, the parents brought their son to a children's psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist surprised, asking how the parents could endure him. It was about a decade before the notion of ADHD became popular, and that time, saying others to bring their kid to a psychiatrist was the same as saying f-letters to others in my country. Ampluvia
The Migraine.
Patient, not a doctor. I started getting these headaches in 7th grade. Massive stabbing pain, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, pain with cold and weather change. I tried taking ibuprofen but it didn't work so I stopped. 7th grade me was worried about getting addicted. The headaches came every single day, and would usually get worse throughout the day. I didn't think it was abnormal because everyone gets headaches, right?
I finally figured out it might not be normal and talked to my GP my sophomore year of college. Saw a neurologist, turns out I have chronic migraine. After some trial, and painful, error, I have some awesome medication that works a majority of the time. walks_into_things
One Drop.
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Apparently it's not normal to have a drop of blood pressures and almost pass out whenever you stand up. I mentioned it to my doctor and he said it was normal but i looked it up and it apparently isn't. Weird. Havox04
The Internists.
Oh, it's my time to shine. I'm not a doctor, just a patient who hangs out with their doctors A Lot.
I got diagnosed with ehlers-danlos a couple years ago. Horrified a couple internists with how easily and casually I could partially dislocate bits of my body, while thinking it was regular flexibility from my dance background as a kid. I have one foot that can curl inward, like a fetus in the womb (courtesy of no ATF ligament, thank you,). Also have a shoulder that will not stay in joint - most of the time it hands out, visibly misplaced. There's a couple fun things I can do with my tendons that shouldn't be technically physically impossible and that my doctors can't figure out without further, very expensive imaging. creampunk
Screwy Genetics.
Not a doctor, but when I was 13 or 14 I went to the doctor for a physical. They were doing the pushing on the stomach routine when it hurt and listened to my stomach. The doctor asked me when my last BM was and I said it was about 2 to 3 weeks ago. They had a horrified expression and asked if they was normal. I said yeah sometimes I don't have a BM but once a month. That's when they prescribed me 3 doses of miralax a day and 50 grams of fiber daily.
Who knew you should poop everyday???
PS . When this happened in my household it became a running joke, until my father said, "well yeah if you poop once a day it means you are eating too much." We then realized it was a genetic issue. butteryourmuffin69
From Your Site Articles
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.