People With Cancer Reveal When They First Realized Something Was Wrong[rebelmouse-image 18358263 is_animated_gif=
Cancer can present itself in a variety of ways, and sometimes, it presents no symptoms at all. The moral of the story? Don't ignore abnormalities in your body, and never try to "tough it out."
HippoLips asked, People who have/had cancer, how did you know something was wrong?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
As someone who has suffered from ulcerative colitis, this is too real.[rebelmouse-image 18358265 is_animated_gif=
My doctor had me get a colonoscopy because of blood in my stool. He thought it might be an ulcer caused by some medication; turned out to be a tumor. Turned out to be a very large stage 1 instead of the stage 2-3 they originally thought. I lucked out big time. I was under fifty, hardly a typical age for it to happen.
Catching it early is the key.[rebelmouse-image 18358266 is_animated_gif=
I went for a general checkup because I was concerned about some red spots on my arms. The doctor almost didn't believe anything was wrong until the results from the blood work came back. The spots were petechiae from low platelets and my white blood cells were through the roof. I have leukemia. Actually, I'm in remission now.
Never ignore lumps or chronic fatigue. They are sign something is very, very wrong.[rebelmouse-image 18358267 is_animated_gif=
I was super tired all the time, like sleep 18 hours a day and hardly able to keep my eyes open the other 6. Then I noticed a lump on the side of my neck. Turned out to be Hodgkin's lymphoma, I have my 2nd chemo on Wednesday.
Well this is terrifying.[rebelmouse-image 18352402 is_animated_gif=
I had a headache that didn't go away for an entire week, I kept vomiting, and I was having weird episodes, which were later diagnosed as seizures. It was a brain tumor.
Sarcoma consists of cancerous growths in connective tissue.[rebelmouse-image 18358268 is_animated_gif=
My daughter at 12 was complaining that her knee was sore. We chalked it up to growing pains. Then one evening she stood up from her chair and fell, again complaining that her knee was very sore. She had a tumor on her left femur - osteogenic sarcoma. Eight months of chemo followed, along with knee replacement surgery. She's been cancer free for nearly 16 years now.
Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma is the more common type of lymphoma, and has a relatively high survival rate.[rebelmouse-image 18358269 is_animated_gif=
I'd been feeling run down and kind of tired, but I put that off to having family in town staying with me. After they'd left I didn't recover quite as quickly as I normally would, thought I was catching a cold. I met up with my typical Sunday night dinner group and while I was sitting in the restaurant I started getting chills. So I went to my car, grabbed a sweatshirt and sat in the sun. It was probably 80 degrees and I was shivering, teeth chattering and chilled to the bone. I went home and bundled up and fell asleep on my couch. When I woke up I was burning up, temperature 104.3. Not good.
Called my bff (she's an ER nurse) and she put me in touch with one of her docs. He wrote me a prescription for an antiviral. I started taking it and it didn't help. I was getting weaker and weaker, barely had an appetite and coughing so bad my bladder would leak.
After a week I went to urgent care. They put me on an antibiotic and diagnosed me with a lung infection. The antibiotics didn't help. After a week of cold sweats, no appetite, weakness and a fever that wouldn't go away I went to the ER. They admitted me and kept me in the hospital to try and diagnose my illness. After 8 days and numerous tests they had my fever under control but not the reason for my sickness. I was home when the hematologist called me and told me I have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and it's in my bone marrow.
I just had my second round of chemo last week. Things went pretty well and I didn't get too sick afterward. Today I shaved my head because my hair was falling out fast and in handfuls. I have a good prognosis and the cancer I have is very treatable. I hope those of you out there who are dealing with cancer are doing okay, hugs to you all.???????
Cancer is often misdiagnosed or overlooked in children.[rebelmouse-image 18358270 is_animated_gif=
I started my first period when I was 12 and it didn't stop for three months but my doctor just continued to say it was because it was my first period. Then I suddenly looked like I was six months pregnant but they still kept saying I was fine. It's only when my mum shouted at them that they sent me for more tests and discovered my stomach was swollen because it was releasing fluid to protect itself from something abnormal. That turned out to be a tumor in my left ovary, which was the size of a grapefruit. They caught it just in time before it spread and I had six months of intensive chemotherapy after surgery. I've just celebrated my 10 year anniversary of being in remission which is awesome! I still keep an eye on my periods though xD
Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia occurs when bone marrow produces too many immature lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell.[rebelmouse-image 18358271 is_animated_gif=
It took me a really long time before I thought anything was wrong. Over the course of 6 weeks, I went from being able to run a 7-minute mile to having to sit down on a bench to rest halfway through walking home from school (less than a mile). I asked the running subreddit, and they said it was probably just a lung infection or something else treatable with antibiotics. Red spots (petechiae) popped up on my upper arms and calves. At 130 pounds, I felt like I was carrying an extra two hundred pounds with me when I tried to climb stairs. When I finally convinced myself to go to the doctor, they drew some blood, saw the white blood cell count and instantly referred me to a hospital when they saw the enormous white blood cell count. At this point I still wasn't concerned, thinking it would all turn out to be something else, that it couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't be cancer. When I got admitted to the hospital, I was thinking how I would be out of there by morning. It didn't really hit me until I had been there for almost a week and knew the exact type (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) before I actually even started to worry.
Doctors estimate that 3 percent of all cancers are a result of Lynch Syndrome.[rebelmouse-image 18358272 is_animated_gif=
I had colon cancer at age 25. I really started to notice how long it would take to clean up when I was at work. I had the feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest. It usually takes me an hour to clean up and go home but my oxygen levels were so depleted I could only tolerate 5 minutes of exertion before I had to rest. I held off for a month with going to the doctor because I didn't have any insurance at the time. My blood counts were all jacked up, red/white blood cells and iron counts were so bad to this day they have no idea how I was walking/talking and not in a coma. I also lost a ton of weight, I usually hover around 285 and was down almost 100 pounds., but I didn't really think anything of it since I lost the weight over a couple months and was exercising, dieting, and working a second physical labor job so I just figured in 3 months I had lost some weight. I didn't realize how drastic the weight loss was until I was at the hospital. I started the second job in August and never went into the hospital until January. I didn't have any major complications until December and had to wait until January for my insurance to kick in.
Luckily for me, a colonoscopy revealed the issue and the caught it before it spread to my lymph nodes.
25 is really young for colon cancer, and I was youngest in my doctor's career to be diagnosed with it. Turns out I have Lynch Syndrome which genetically predisposes me to develop cancers at a younger age and puts me at a higher risk of getting another cancer.
I turn 30 next Monday and thankfully have not had any recurring issues for this.
When body dysmorphia works in your favor...[rebelmouse-image 18358273 is_animated_gif=
Fortunately, my teenage insecurities probably saved my life- I was in a store trying on a swimsuit and was basically staring at myself in the mirror thinking how awful I thought I looked (not uncommon for 16-year-old girls, unfortunately) and I noticed a few very, very dark spots on my back and arms. It looked like I had sharpied on dots in some places, it was really weird but I think it was because of the awful fluorescent lighting that they looked so pronounced. I knew my family had a history of very serious skin cancer, but I'd never been tanning and always wore sunblock so I thought there was no way. My dad made me go in for a skin check just to be safe, and it turns out I had multiple malignant melanomas of varying stages on my arm and both upper and lower back. Luckily even the worst of them were caught early enough that I was just left with some badass scars from the biopsies and subsequent tissue removal, but I still think if I hadn't gone to H&M that day how much worse it could have been.
Talk about a lucky break...[rebelmouse-image 18358274 is_animated_gif=
I was walking the dogs and I suddenly felt a sharp pain on the left side in between my ribs and simultaneously on my left shoulder. After almost a month of misdiagnoses, I went from healthy 16 ?????-?year-old to stage 4 histiocytic sarcoma, a rare form of lymphoma and given 2 months to live. I am now 20 years old and in remission.
"Toughing it out" is the worst decision one can make.[rebelmouse-image 18358275 is_animated_gif=
In the early stage (1-3 months prior) I started to become more and more lethargic & weak in general; at the time I thought I was just lazy and falling out of shape. I lost the energy to do most basic things but never thought it was totally out of the norm. Food also became uninteresting and I generally lost my appetite (normally I'm a big eater/foodie.) As a side sleeper, I noticed my arm would fall asleep during the night semi-frequently (I'd wake up and couldn't feel it at all, it freaked me out at the time.) I also started having some pretty decent night sweats (while feeling freezing cold) and picked up a persistent toothache that didn't go away.
The final straw was when I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed due to that toothache. After the surgery, my body basically crashed (couldn't heal itself.) I started to get weaker much more rapidly, my skin got very pale, and my lips basically lost most of their color. 2 days later, I fully passed out for the first time in my life.
Now this will seem crazy, but I'm the type of person who never goes to the doctor for anything, I always just "tough it out." Even after all this stuff happened, I still didn't go in to get checked. But finally after 2-3 weeks of this and basically "rapidly dying," my wife begged me to go in to find out what was going on. They took my blood for some tests and within an hour the doc called saying my counts were insanely low and told me to go to the E.R. immediately (I even questioned the doctor over the phone "are you sure this is necessary?")
Found out if I didn't come in that day, I would have probably died within a few days. That night in the E.R. is when shit hit the fan; My pores were literally leaking blood as I had no platelets (blood cells that help clot your blood) and needed about 6 blood transfusions. So at 28 y/o, that's when I got the bomb dropped on me that I had Leukemia.
And thus began my interesting, humbling, and life-changing road to recovery.
Cancer can be tricky, especially when there are no inflammatory markers, which generally indicate the body is fighting something.[rebelmouse-image 18358276 is_animated_gif=
My stage 3b colon cancer was detected in 2008 during a colonoscopy. The tumor was in a polyp that was large enough to have existed for 10 years. It was my first colonoscopy at age 62. Before that, my doctor had specified fecal smears, which showed no problems. My regular blood tests had not shown any problems. I think they monitor for excess protein in the blood. I had 30 cm (11") of upper colon removed and underwent chemo for 6 months. I was in the hospital for about 5 days and outpatient during the chemo treatment. I lost a little of my hair; my hair is thick and I attribute that to my few native American genes. I have some loss of feeling in my fingers and feet from the chemo and my sleep clock if a bit off. I am a veteran so the VA paid for everything. My case was unique because I was symptom-free including having no protein markers in my blood. Because of this, my tissue sample was kept, with my permission, and my case was included in a study on non-inflammatory cancer. I have been cancer free for 7 years.
Carcinoid tumors grow very slowly, and most often originate in the digestive tract or lungs.[rebelmouse-image 18358277 is_animated_gif=
Kept getting pneumonia, like very frequently 2-3 times a year for about 3 years. Had many chest X-rays and CT scans that turned up nothing. Eventually, I had camera scope my lungs and found out I had a tumor blocking the bronchial tube to my upper left lobe. It caused bacteria to continually give me pneumonia because that portion of my lung was more or less partially collapsed and essentially doing nothing. Turns out it was a carcinoid tumor which I guess isn't technically cancer but its classified as it. Had a little more than half of my lung removed and my lymph nodes and now I feel great.
Never ever ever ignore gut issues.[rebelmouse-image 18358278 is_animated_gif=
I've had issues with my stomach and acid reflux for as long as I can remember. For 2 and a half years every month or so, I would get an excruciating stomach ache that felt like my entire abdomen was on fire followed by a day of feeling like I had gotten punched several times in the stomach or had done hundreds of sit-ups. A couple doctors would run tests, but never found much of anything. I've been scoped from both ends more times than I'd care to count. Finally, during a cat scan, or whatever it's called where they send you through the donut, they found my appendix was swollen. They rushed me over to surgery and took it out. It exploded after they had gotten it out, and the surgeon decided it didn't look right. So they did some labs and called me back in for a follow up before I had healed. They found that I had appendiceal carcinoma (sp?) and they had taken some images of "goo" that was strewn throughout my abdomen. What I was led to understand the was that was an early sign of it spreading, and due to what they had found in my appendix, I had to have another surgery. Unfortunately, they had to slice me open from my belly button down, before taking my secum (sp?) and six inches of my large intestine. They also took out most of my inwards and scrubbed the goo off. Took me a long time to recover, and left me with a bought of body dysmorphia that led to depression and unfortunately weight gain.
You're never too young to get cancer.[rebelmouse-image 18358279 is_animated_gif=
I'm 27, found a lump in my boob and went to my GP and a month later was having a mastectomy. I'm currently having chemo and on cycle 2/6.
So ladies, check them boobies cos age means nothing!
If it looks like a bite but doesn't go away...[rebelmouse-image 18358280 is_animated_gif=
Found a small red bite/spot on my back, felt itchy. Took a picture and kept an eye on it for a few weeks, it changed shape, and sort of collapsed into itself; turns out I had skin cancer, had it removed and have a check-up every 5 years.
Pancreatic cancer is one of the more difficult cancers to diagnose and treat. It killed Apple founder Steve Jobs in 2011.[rebelmouse-image 18358281 is_animated_gif=
My dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three days ago. He has been feeling bad the last year, worse the last 6 months. He has been seeing a doctor from the start. Apparently, it's a bitch to notice.
What he has been suffering from is loose stool, dramatic weight loss (from 80kg to 55kg in a year) muscle loss, difficulties to walk due to muscle loss and pain in his neck.
Other symptoms of pancreatic cancer can be yellow skin, yellow eyes.
Just a warning to people who might experience these kinds of things, get it checked before it's too late... :(
Cancer often presents no symptoms, so pay attention to ANY abnormalities. This guy got lucky.[rebelmouse-image 18358282 is_animated_gif=
I didn't and that's the scary thing!
I was a fit and healthy 28-year-old guy, went to the gym three times a week, played and trained for football twice a week all whilst eating relatively healthy. Cancer wasn't really on my radar.
Fortunately one day in the shower I felt a slight lump but truthfully didn't think it was cancer. I google diagnosed a harness epidydmal cyst but thought I'd better get it checked out. I waited a while for an appointment and eventually got it checked out. Dr agreed with my diagnosis but offered me an ultrasound scan for peace of mind, I agreed
A few months later my scan comes around, there's me sitting there fully expecting the all clear ( I was still a healthy young and active guy still with no other worrying symptoms) then Wham! Sorry Mr. Tallyblade but you have testicular cancer, was not expecting that!
By chance, I'd caught it early which made the treatment a whole lot easier. Thankfully I've been all clear for three years and I'm now expecting the arrival of Tallyblade Jnr
Guys, check yourself before you wreck yo self
You can always rely on Mom to hold you accountable.[rebelmouse-image 18358283 is_animated_gif=
Not me, my stepbrother, he's 20 now but 19 at the time:
Was walking funny, kept having to hold on to things, was really out of breath walking from one side of the room to another. Acting generally dozy, eyesight had deteriorated quickly over a few months.
He also had the shakes - now this is the key symptom, as my stepmom has a neurological disorder triggered by too many anti-depressants, which has caused her to shake. She was panicking that she'd passed something on to him and forced him to go to the doctors. He wouldn't have gone otherwise, as he's been mothered to the point of being essentially 10 years old, he has absolutely no self-awareness.
CAT scan one day, 24 hours later called straight back into the hospital, had so much fluid in his brain that they needed to insert a stent that day. Found a brain tumor that had been causing it at the top of his spine. He went through two rounds of chemo and one of radiotherapy, wasn't sick, the only ill effects were losing his hair and feeling tired all the time. Now in remission, has almost been cancer-free for a year. The whole treatment lasted maybe 5 months? Good work on the doctors!
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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