It is a sad fact that we will all die some day. But death never gets easier for the people around us.
Leaving families behind, or new loves, or really anybody we love is absolutely devastating. Death creates an impassable border that we cannot communicate through. It has been the subject of tragedies since ancient times and will continue to be. And there's a reason for that.
u/triggeredrat_59 asked:
[SERIOUS] Doctors of Reddit, What was the saddest death you have experienced in the hospital?
Here were some of those stories. Trigger Warnings: death, blood and guts, violence.
Gone Too Quickly
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I had a confused middle-aged guy come in, was obviously septic, we started antibiotics, fluids, the whole 9 yards within about 15 minutes. I got his wife on the phone (he was about 4 hours from home traveling for work) about 45 minutes into his stay, asked if she wanted to speak to him, she said yes. I went to give him the phone and I realized he needed to immediately be intubated and was close to death. He heard her voice, his eyes lit up, and about 10 minutes later he coded.
It was the only time I've cried openly with nursing staff, and I still remember him. Ended up having Neisseria meningitis meningitis and we couldn't have done anything to save him. Went on a camping trip that night to blow off steam.
The Final Days
We had a middle aged woman come to the ER for a bad headache. She was otherwise healthy. A brain scan showed she had stage 4 brain cancer and an estimated 10-14 days to live. Her judgement and understanding was affected by the tumor so she didn't understand what was happening. The hardest part was telling her husband that his wife, who was fine the day before, is never leaving the hospital and there's nothing he can do.
Horrendously Taken Too Early
A 33 y/o guy with an IV drug habit relatively hidden from his family. He was sent to the ICU for endocarditis and was starting to improve from septic shock when his wife decided to bring in the kids to visit Daddy. Sadly on the day of their visit, he had a cardiac arrest and we had to usher the family out while we performed CPR. Hearing the crying of a grade school kids in the background of a code is something that will always stick with me.
Why Did This Have To Be This Way
Anesthesia resident in St Louis, on my pediatric rotation. Went down to the ED for a gunshot wound, arrive to the trauma bay and found a crowd of providers doing chest compressions on a girl who couldn't've been older than 4. She had a very active bleed coming from a bullet wound in her sternum. Intubated, IV access, gave fluids, epi & after 20 minutes of coding they called it. The collective weight on everyone in the room was palpable.
Nobody knew her more that 20 minutes but it is sad when an innocent child dies.
Too Young To Code
ER nurse here, not a doctor. anyways, a 24 year old running a local half marathon or 10k, he told his friend he didn't feel great, collapsed at the finish line. coded and died on arrival to the ER. the physician, a stone cold guy, called the kids parents to tell them (they lived in another state) and he had tears in his eyes. both the kids parents were doctors, they asked if we shocked him, gave him epi - we said we did everything. they declined an autopsy, we assumed he must have had an unknown cardiac myopathy and it finally caught up to him. I still remember his face and his story. breaks my heart.
Gone Without Contact
Nurse here, I had a patient who knew they had very little time to live, and was working on a letter to their estranged child. When I went in the room to help with after-death care I found the letter, where they had only written half the first sentence before they passed. They died alone.
Worse Than You Could Ever Anticipate
Worst one was a 17 year old patient with cystic fibrosis. Got a lung infection (which are common in these patients), it progressed to a blood stream infection and bacteria was resistant to antibiotics. Was a wonderful family, close, loving parents and siblings. Was a relatively rapid decompensation, ending up on multiple infusions of continuous medications to maintain his blood pressure.
Finally starting having profuse bleeding (process known as DIC related to the blood stream infection). He then went into decompensated shock and shortly thereafter arrested, bleeding from nose and mouth profusely. Parents had been prepped, but being in there doing CPR when Dad realized it was over... There was something about it that was just really bad. He told us to stop, then hugged his kid and kept saying "I'm so sorry. I love you". His mother let out a scream that I can still hear. This was about 12 years ago when I was a resident. I'll never forget that scream. I'm in academics and a sub-specialist. I sadly see kids die often. This was the worst that I witnessed. Any child dying is horrible, but I find that the older ones you connect with and that have a strong bond with the family are really hard. One of my bosses would tell us that if it ever got easy then you need to quit.
As He Goes, So Goes My Country
I'm a nurse, and I've seen so many sad deaths that it's hard to pick just one. But one that stands out:
We had a patient who had cancer and had to be trached. She spent over a month in our icu on the ventilator. Her very sweet husband stayed in her room basically 24/7. He slept in the recliner and lived on Dr. Pepper and Doritos. We got to know him very well. After about 3 weeks, the nurses finally convinced him to go home and get a real night's sleep in a real bed.
The next morning, he didn't come back. His son called later in the day to tell us that he had been found dead at their house. We were all completely shocked and very sad. He was one of the nicest, most helpful family members of any patient I've ever cared for.
Losing her husband was obviously hard on his wife, and her health declined steadily and quickly after that. She just gave up. She was dead within a couple of weeks.
Burdens All Over
I had a lady, in her early 60s who came in two days before her grandson's wedding because she couldn't breathe well. She had so much fluid in her abdomen that it was making it hard for her breathe and for some reason she had kidney injury as well. That day we took out the fluid and tested it and she wanted to go home for her grandson's wedding. Unfortunately she turned out to have ovarian cancer with horrible mets everywhere, Her tumor burden was so high that it failed her kidneys. Her grandson came to visit with his wife on the wedding day, they took pictures. She passed away within a week.
Life Stolen
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RN here. I recently cared for a woman in the ICU who was in her late 30s and had given birth to a beautiful baby girl seven or eight weeks earlier. Unfortunately, the woman had also been diagnosed with cancer that had originated in the placenta, during her pregnancy. She had, at most, a few months to live. She was really angry and I couldn't blame her.
Never Stood A Chance
Halloween night in 2008 or 2009. I was rotating in busy big city ER. A trauma came in. Motorcyclist vs car or truck. The guy lost his lower leg and bled to death. He was barely alive when he left the scene and was DOA. I can still remember the smell of blood all over the table and floor. I was a student at the time and I helped the RN catalog his belongings. I was a little nosey when I saw a digital camera. Turned it on and there were pics of him and kids in costumes just a few hours before.
It Shouldn't Have Been This Way
RN here. I've had many sad stories of patients passing away; most of the time I can sit with the family and hear stories of their loved ones when they were alive, because they'd lived a good long life and it was their time.
One story sticks out though. A 40s-ish woman who came in with PEs (lung blood clots). She got up to the bathroom at about 3am and collapsed on the way back. We tried, but couldn't bring her back.
Hearing her husband and kids wailing in the family room was really, really hard.
Life Ruined By Prevantable Causes
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I'm in my final year of med school. We had a mum and dad bring in their 8 month old baby, he had been having a seizure for about 35 minutes, sky high fever, obviously dehydrated and was covered in a typical measles rash. They were crying and begging for help. It turns out they were antivax and their baby had caught measles from their older son.
They had been treating him at home with traditional Chinese medicines and essential oils but it didn't help. They only came in when he started fitting. Sadly the baby ended up dying in the ED as we were trying to resuscitate him. It was terrible, the mum was wailing and screaming, I'll never forget it. Later they were arrested for negligence and involuntary manslaughter I think (not based in the US). I'll never forget it because it was a totally preventable death and it ruined their lives.
Never Assume
Working in a hospital a few years ago, busy night, so anyways this teenager stumbled into the hospital, I was the first one to notice him as I was in the hall on the way to go see a nurse, so I look at this guy, I presume he's drunk and I tell him, "go home" he looks at me with a look that will haunt me for the rest of my life, he slowly takes his hands away from his stomach and he has several deep stabs in his stomach. He stumbled and fell. I caught him and there was no time to even get him on a bed or try to help him, I held this 16 kid in my arms as he bled to death whilst he looked me in my eye at kept begging "please don't let me die" felt like a few minutes but was only 30 seconds. For some reason I feel like I let this kid and his parents down. Several years later and numerous therapy sessions and I still feel messed up. Turns out the kid was walking home, took a shortcut through an ally and was mugged and stabbed R.I.P 🌷
Hope Is A Cruel Distractor
We had a four year old who drowned at a family reunion. He was missing forty minutes before they found him underneath the pool cover. He came in to the ED long after there was any chance of getting him back, but he was too cold to declare dead. We had to do full resuscitation on this tiny dead child for 40 minutes while we warmed him up. His parents were watching the entire time, beside themselves, you could just see them clinging desperately to hope, just sobbing quietly.
When at last we stopped they just fell apart. It was honestly like they just couldn't believe it, they couldn't believe that something so awful could even happen. The image of that mother clutching her dead child, talking to him, begging him not to go, will stay with me forever.
One Small Trip
Medical student here. Woman in her 50s tripped and fell outside of church while her husband was pulling the car around. Fractured her C2 vertebra (hangman's fracture) which destroyed her spinal cord. Had to be intubated and ventilated for a day but basically had no motor function and was just kept going long enough for family to come to the ICU. I watched as she was pulled off life support with her family around her. Very sudden and catastrophic.
She actually agreed to be an organ donor and was rushed off to the OR to harvest organs after she passed, but there were some previously unknown problems with several organs that made them unusable. That removed the last small glimmer of hope in an otherwise terrible situation.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.