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Doctors Share The Worst Homemade 'Cures' Their Patients Have Tried

Doctors Share The Worst Homemade 'Cures' Their Patients Have Tried
National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

There's a reason doctors get paid so much. It's because they're really the only ones who can help you in a medical emergency.

Web MD is not going to help you with an accurate diagnosis, guessing at what you have and taking medicine for it rarely works, and if you are not a medical professional, you should not try to cure yourself. Period.

Many people swear by home remedies, and while some of these homemade concoctions can fortify you and strengthen your immune system, and may work for the common cold, they are not a proper solution to illness.

If you are sick, you should go to a doctor. These homemade cures you're about to read about are not only silly, but also dangerous.

Learn from the mistakes of your fellow humans.


Redditor PatrioticRomaniac asked:

"Doctors, what is the worst homemade "cure" a patient used for their illness?"

At The Cost Of A Foot

"An older woman with a big, gaping foot ulcer visited her family in Indonesia. Her sister took her to a spiritual healer, who instructed her to make an ointment and apply it to the ulcer. The ointment included herbs, sheep urine, olives, human hair. The day after applying the ointment, she was to cleanse the ulcer in the ocean. After a few weeks of this, the ulcer would heal."

"Obviously it did not heal and a rare mycoplasma bacteria found only in the ocean grew in her wound, and she lost her foot."

– manlikerealities

Needless Loss

"I knew someone who got cancer and decided to starve it instead of taking chemo. First results after the 40-day fast were promising but not for long. He died in less than a year. The sad part is, the survival rate with chemo for this type of cancer is really high and it was detected quite early"

– bibba747

Double Lies

"Had the fortunate luck to be privy to a patient's super duper secret way of getting rid of leg cramps at night. Get a cork, not just any cork though, it must be from a bottle of red wine, and tuck it in between your toes at night. He was very sure that was the cure that Big Pharma wasn't telling us. Completely irrelevant that he started taking a magnesium supplement at the same time as his new found super cure of toe-cork-fondling. So Big Pharma, if you're reading this, we all know now."

– SakuraFerretTrainer

Soup To Zits

"Dermatologist here, dude was trying to get rid of his papulopustulose acne with a homemade mask, which consisted of a mix of betametasone ointment, honey, cream cheese, yogurt, banana, and make-up in cream for "color"

"So many bad things here and the dude developed a nodular cystic acne after 3 or so applications, which he did daily because of course."

"Who suggested this abomination? Various YouTube videos and his own initiative of mixing everything in a bowl to cure faster"

– an_annoyed_jalapeno

The Wrong Seasoning

"I took my daughter to the Dr for a recurring ear infection when she was about four. The Dr took one look in her ear and asked me if I had seen her putting any foreign objects into her ears and I said no. He then took some tweezers and pulled out a small piece of what turned out to be garlic. I told him I had no idea how it got there, he said it was definitely making her ear infections worse. Turns out that her Dad and stepmom had heard that garlic oil can help cure infections and they didn't have any, so instead of taking my daughter to the doctor like they should have, they literally just shoved a small clove of garlic in my daughter's ear and left it there."

– starmama90

What Does "Reasonable" Mean Anymore

"i'm a pharmacist who works in an ER. I had a woman come in for chest pain and when I was interviewing her for her medication history, she was telling me how bad the pain was that she took EVERYTHING in her medicine cabinet. I asked her to list what she has in her medicine cabinet/what she took. The list went: Tylenol (acetaminophen) 2 tablets, Advil (ibuprofen) 2 tablets, Aspirin 2 tablets , heroin 1-2 points, Gravol... At which point I kind of had to go: hold up - you used how many points of what? And the patient very matter-of-factly stated that she came in because the heroin didn't help with the pain at all. Which in some ways I guess was a pretty reasonable course of action - since she came in since the heroin didn't work."

– moxifloxacin25

Burns In The Third Degree

"Nurse here. I used to work in a rural magnet hospital in the South. Had a patient who was there because he'd gotten athletes foot and decided to use an old mountain remedy: soak your feet in vinegar, lemon juice, and BOILING WATER to kill the fungus."

"In fairness, the original remedy probably called for merely hot water, but the guy went a little overboard with the temperature. He gave himself some nice bilateral third-degree burns on his feet. BUT there was no sign of any athletes foot, so he had that going for him, which was nice..."

– withinyouwithoutyou3

Slippery Kitty

"Not a doctor but my vet friend once had a client rub butter all over her cat in hopes that the cat would lick it off because the cat had stopped eating."

– PookSpeak

There Should Be A Test To Have Kids

"Doctor in the family told me an infant was brought into the ER incredibly ill, shaking, and vomiting from her day care. she had a huge oral ulcer in her mouth that her mom tried to cure by killing the bacteria but they were out of mouthwash so she diluted vodka in apple juice. She had the "can i see the manager" hair cut and threw a huge fit when CPS was called."

– suitology

Yes, This Makes Total Sense

"my sister one twisted her ankle, what does my Middle Eastern mom do? She wrapped a raw egg on her ankle. My sister went to the doctor 3 days after."

– wumbowing64

Maybe It Was A Different Vegetable?

"Not a doctor but when I had mono my mother put a fucking cut onion next to my bed and said it would suck in all the bacteria and I would be fine in a few days. Ended up having mono for almost a month and got strep for two weeks directly afterwards."

– GodOfBeverages

Burn Them Away

"Not a doctor, but I used to get warts on my hands and feet. We couldn't afford a doctor, so my dad used to just put out cigarettes on them until they went away."

– irrelevant_usernam3

Wait, Really?

"One of my attending physicians from residency did his training in West Virginia and had a patient come in to the ER saying she had leaves coming out of her vagina. He goes to do an exam and there actually were leaves coming out and he pulls out a potato. Turns out she had a pretty significant prolapse (uterus/bladder drop) and she had been used it to fix the prolapse and forgot about it!"

– Hufflepuff1024

This Is Nuts!

"Not a doctor, but a child who survived a hair brained remedy idea."

"To begin, I should explain that I have very very VERY thick hair. I have broken brushes in half getting through tangles. I have to use elastic headbands as ponytails because regular ponytails snap."

"THICK HAIR."

"At one point when I was a kid, lice was going around the school. This happens. However, even after emptying several full bottles of medicated lice shampoo on my head, my hair was so thick they just kept keeping on."

"My mother (whom I have a whole buttload of various horror stories of and emotional baggage from) and my aunt (same) get together and put on the ole’ thinking caps."

"What could kill these stubborn lice?"

"Rubbing alcohol? Nearly killed me, With my asthma, but not the bugs..."

"Then they struck idiot gold."

"Somehow they reasoned that they should use Kerosene."

"They absolutely DREMCHED my head in the stuff."

"No matter how much I washed my hair for the next month, it smelled like the stuff. I was terrified of open flames like no rational person should be."

"Lice did die though."

"This was done forcibly to me again as a teenager. It worked once, it’ll work twice, right?"

"Yeah....still half expecting to end up with skin cancer on my scalp..."

– itsaplatypi

I Think She'll Have Bigger Problems Soon

"My coworker told me she and her daughter Uses Vick’s vaporub on their eyeballs to treat some allergy related symptoms."

– Gunslinger_11

Gee, I Wonder...

"Not a doctor but support people quitting smoking. One client didn't understand why pouring orange juice in her ear daily wasn't working"

– gbell11

...Huh?

"This is similar, but it's the doctor instead of the patient. Once, we had the doctor try and help a patient with a sore throat. He bashed her neck with a shoe before escaping. His reasoning was that she can't have a sore neck if she has no neck, which I guess is right... we found him at Home Depot looking for a "pointer doctor stick""

– Ryan-The-Movie-Maker

Condiments Aren't Cures

"I'm a Paramedic and my partner told me the worst he has ever seen was for a burn patient. He said that he saw a teenager hobbling towards him covered in a bunch of white gooy gunk. So apparently homeboy was out in the country trying to start a big bonfire and he first decided to douse his big bundle with some gasoline before tossing a match in. Well it caught real fast and he got a big ol flash burn across his whole body. His momMa apparently use to be a "certified nurse" and covered him in mayonnaise because that would help treat the burn."

"Yeah nah, all she did was introduce a fu*kton of infection into his body and make it much more excruciating for him when my partner had to wipe it off of him and place burn bandages on him while they transported him to the hospital."

– acherem13

Google is not a licensed doctor, y'all! Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments.

Things That Were Way More Expensive Than People Anticipated

"Reddit user Jarvis_Strife asked: 'What turned out to be A LOT more expensive than you anticipated?'"

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

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ramen in white bowl

Mae Mu on Unsplash

For many people, the difference between being housed and unhoused is a single paycheck.

For some it's a matter of money management, but for most it's the lack of a living wage for many jobs. Add a poor social safety net and poverty is always a footstep away.

Let's face it—many people have lived with a zero balance in their bank account and bills to pay and empty cupboards.

Keep reading...Show less

With the elaborate costs of the wedding industry, starting with the engagement ring and going all the way up through the honeymoon and anniversary plans, there are those who will spend all the money and those who will look for savings.

While getting married is absolutely worth spending the money on, how much money is spent is not necessarily reflected of how much the two people love each other, either. It's all up to the couple!

Redditor ClassicJogging asked:

"Married people of Reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?"

A Special Bond

"My grandmother pulled me aside five minutes after meeting my now wife, then girlfriend, for the first time, that she really loved her and she would fit right into our family. They had a REALLY good bond for a couple of years before my grandmother passed."

"Her last wish was that I use her engagement ring from 1945 (my grandfather proposed the day the Germans left Norway) when I asked for marriage. I did, she said yes, and we have been happily married for a good few years now."

- Panzerpython

Perfectly Vintage

"I was asked if I wanted a ring... and I surprised myself by saying that I did even though I'm not a jewelry person."

"So we went shopping and I hated all the jewelry store rings. We decided to check out antique stores and we found a cool-looking '50s vintage diamond ring with an illusion setting (makes tiny stone look bigger). It fit. It was $300. It was perfect."

- RitaTome

Recreated Art

"I love vintage rings, specifically art deco style, and had a whole Pinterest board of ones I loved. But it turns out I have giant fingers and most vintage rings are much smaller. Yes, you can size up, but only by so much."

"So my now husband surprised me by getting a ring custom-made in the same style. I adore it and get so many compliments."

- angeliqu

A Last Wish

"My mother was dying of cancer and gave me her engagement ring to give to my wife. It was a low-profile diamond from 1965. I think my father paid $275 for it at Eaton’s."

"We just celebrated our 25th last week. She still wears it daily."

- JustsomeAudioGuy

Full of Memories

"$140, I wanted a more expensive ring for her, but she insisted that I use that money for the wedding."

"I ended up going with a silver ring that looks like the branches of a tree, it has one large amethyst in the middle and two smaller ones in the branches to the side."

"When I saw it, it immediately reminded me of the date we went on when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"We got up early to go to an orchard that was a little while away, the whole ride, she was talking about how frustrated she was with work and I was so happy to be listening to her talk and to spend time with her. We spent all day at the orchard, we got lunch at the farmer's market, went on a hayride, went to a petting zoo, and we picked pumpkins then picked apples as the sun was just starting to get low."

"From there, we went a haunted trail on a ski trail that took us up the hill in a ski lift and we had to walk down. As we went up the hill, we got the most amazing view of the sunset and I knew had found my better half, because I couldn't even imagine anyone else that I would want to watch the sunset with."

- TabbyCabby

Because Science

"My wife is a chemist and agronomist. She was working on her master's in agronomy and part of her thesis project had to do with cobalt and molybdenum."

"So I got her a cobalt chrome engagement ring (which happens to also be 6% molybdenum). For the stone, I went with a manufactured sapphire, because science."

"She absolutely loves it. Cost me less than $300."

- surdophobe

Substantial Savings

"I worked for the jeweler store. I had about a steep discount. I chose five options and let him pick from there since I had to technically buy it. He picked my favorite."

"It is a one-carat ruby set in rose gold, and I love it. Retail it would be around $5000, but for me, it was $900."

"I wanted a ruby as I did not want a diamond, and I am a big history buff."

- Nancy2121

A Good Listener

"My Fiancé remembered that in Freshman year of college, I mentioned I would only take a lab diamond (clear or black), and my dream ring had a specific gemstone on either side of the main stone."

"Fall 2018 to December 2022 and he remembered every detail. From one conversation. He is a blessing and I love my ring."

- Trumpet6789

Post-Engagement Ring

"I couldn’t afford an engagement ring when we got married. It’s been a few years and now I can, so I’m working on a custom ring with a local jeweler we’ve worked with a bunch already. The concept is a subtle subversion of traditional engagement ring tropes and will cost around a grand USD."

- DeepFriedApples

Groceries > Rings

"She gave me pictures of a few rings she wanted. All sapphires, no diamonds. I got one of those for $120. Probably worth in the $200 range today."

"She specifically did not want the 'two months' salary' standard. She would refuse a ring that was expensive enough that somebody would be willing to cut off her hand in order to steal it."

- CaptainTime5556

Important Family Heirlooms

"It was my grandmother's and it was awesome and it was free and she loved it."

- Knute5

"Grandma's club checking in. I was having sort of a deep philosophical moment with this question about how I guess it technically cost me my grandma. But then I had a burrito."

- Hammand

Worth the Pricetag

"Love the shaming on this thread for anyone who spent more than $24.99 on a ring."

"$18k because it’s the only expensive thing she’s ever asked me for and it makes her happy every single day. One year interest-free financing softened the financial blow considerably."

"To each their own! Don’t shame people for spending their money how they choose on the ones they love!"

- Son_Of_A_Plumber

Yay for Pinterest Boards

"My wife had a bunch of floral style rings on her Pinterest page, so I went and got one custom designed from a local jeweler."

"They suggested Moissanite (synthetic diamond) to keep costs down and appearance up. I got three times the stone for half the price of a real diamond. Well worth it. Total ran about 3k for the engagement ring."

- bighairyyak

Everybody's Happy

"I chose the shape of the stone, he chose the actual diamond (size, quality, etc), and then we went shopping together to choose the setting."

"It was a lovely experience! I got a ring I love which I will wear forever and he got to control the situation and feel comfortable with a large component of the cost to keep within his budget."

- jvldmn

Très Relatable

"My wife liked it. 15k."

- BabyTunnel

"All the top voted answers are just cheap rings or inheritance. So I am glad someone posted something else. Although maybe there is something below but Reddit might just upvote certain answers more."

- Additional_Meeting_2

"Dude. Finally a comment in here I can relate to."

"My wife liked it. 12k."

"No hate to the lab-grown, or the many blue and yellow special stones in this thread. But d**n, it makes it sound like the norm! In my experience and my friends' circles…. It’s just diamonds from the jewelry store lol (laughing out loud)."

- howmanywhales

This thread was a great example of "to each their own." Where some will want an expensive ring, others will want something incredibly simple, just like some will want an extravagant wedding whereas others will want to go to the courthouse and have a nice dinner after.

These decisions don't make one couple or one marriage or one love better than the other. They simply reflect that they're different partnerships, and as long as both people are happy, who cares how anyone else would handle it?

People sharing pizza
Klara Kulikova/Unsplash

When it comes to culinary mashups, nothing is as delectably perfect as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Chocolate and peanut butter in one bite? Heavenly.

Other food combos are not as popular but have a strong contingent of fans like pineapple on pizza or even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And then there are ones that are simply inexcusable.

Curious to hear examples of what foodies absolutely consider tastey bites, Redditor Shozo459 asked:

"What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?"

Trust the preparation.

That Is Soy Not Funny

"ketchup on sushi."

– BattleCatManic

I do believe you'd get your a** kicked for doing that."

– Mattress_Of_Needles

No Sauce Required

"Reminds me of this random sushi joint in osaka. Every pc had the wasabi inserted already. If the piece doesnt have a sauce (like eel), then its premarinated or salted. For normal fish, the chef brushes it with some kind of soy sauce blend."

"He reminded me that soy sauce would not be necessary almost every time he put a new piece on my plate. I asked what the soy sauce bottle is for then and he just shrugged."

"And we're talking about soy sauce not even ketchup."

– gabu87

Tough Meat

"Ok, not sushi, but. (I heard this from my kid....) My ex remarried to a southern woman who fancies herself to be a southern Belle. Instead, she's more of a Momma June. My ex cooked steaks for dinner one night. He will cook meat so it is BROWN straight through. Don't think about asking for it any way, but WELL DONE. In his world, any PINK in the beef means it's nearly raw.😳 So he cooked steaks for them. The wife starts eating and exclaims, 'This steak is soooo good it doesn't even need ketchup' My kid described the meat as being extremely tough and tasteless."

– stalagit68

That's just rude.

Expired Offer

"Eating my fries after I've asked you if you want me to buy you some."

– iggylevin

"So you've met my ex-wife? 'I'm fine' is a small fry and milkshake or frostee. And yes, she should use her words , but she won't, so you can choose to be right or to not have to sleep on the couch over fries and a milkshake."

– Jimmy_Twotone

Chili & Cinnamon

"Although it's not the worst sin imaginable, there's a weird regional dish where i live that involves pairing a bowl of chili with a cinnamon roll. Every potluck I've been to here has it. It's not for me but it's definitely unique."

– MayorOfVenice

Citrus Sin

"Orange juice flavored toothpaste and toothpaste flavored orange juice."

– shhjustwatch

"I gargle with orange juice after i brush my teeth. Power move. Show that plaque who's boss."

– MayorOfVenice

Who does that?

Gimme Some Skin

"Eating the skin off of someone else's fried chicken."

– Upbeat_Tension_8077

"I had a bucket of leftover KFC in the fridge, and my ex SIL came over to my house while I was at work and ate all of the skin off the chicken. I was f'kin pissed."

"Then, on New Years, a few years later, her aunt wanted to make mole and split the cost. I was like whatever and pitched in. I had things to do and got home after it was done. Those f'kin b*tcheses had ate the all of the skin off every piece of chicken."

"I'm so glad I'm not a part of that POS family anymore. If I am ever victimized by chicken skin theft ever again I am going to throw that skinless piece of chicken at them as hard as I can at point blank range and I'm going to aim for their mouth."

– anon

Condiment For All

"Squeezing ketchup on top of a communal plate of fries."

– OverlappingChatter

"I had a boyfriend who would take all of his fries and all of my fries at McDonald’s, put them on the tray and squirt ketchup on top. This infuriated me in part because then the fries got cold so much faster."

– loritree

Wasting food is a cardinal sin.

Grocery Stores At The End Of The Day

"Grocery stores/suppliers throwing out perfectly good food when we there are people starving."

"There is a 2009 doc called 'Dive' that talks about how much grocery stores waste. Edit: (I'm sure there are many others but this is the one that made me aware of the issue)"

– moosegoose2222

"My husband did the samples at Sam's club for awhile and when they did alcohol samples they were told to bust/break the glass bottles into the food that was leftover and to be disposed in the dumpster...so first throw the food in, then break the glass bottles on top when throwing in dumpster."

– Swivel_D

Kevin Sucks

"I worked at a major big box grocery/everything else store for a short time. The a**hole store director was the kind of guy who would make one of the grocery guys get put the floor zamboni on SATURDAY AFTERNOONS to clean up footprints down the aisles when it snowed outside. Of course, it pissed people off."

"The worst thing he'd do, however, was demand that the bakery and Deli have their cases overstocked to 'Grand Opening' standards every f'king day. Of course, only half sold, and the leftovers were not marked down (he hated doing anything like that for damaged boxes or cans because he said it attracted 'poor people'). Instead, it all went into the dumpster at the end of the night. It was usually a half dozen cakes, a dozen loaves of bread, and often 15 - 20 rotisserie chickens. No, employees were not allowed to take home any of it. Oh, and he was openly racist and tried to get a disabled employee fired because he didn't like disabled people working with the public."

"I rage quit that job one day, two weeks before Christmas. I found out shortly after I left that the store director was diagnosed with Parkinsons."

"Rot in hell, Kevin."

– WhitePineBurning

My gripe is more about dining protocol than actual food.

I'm pretty much allergic to alcohol and aside from having the occasional glass of wine, I don't drink often when I go out.

I don't think it's fair when I'm out with a small group of people who each order more than two cocktails and I'm forced to split the bill evenly as the lone non-drinker in the group.

I get it, it's a hassle figuring out the bill to accommodate for me, but I don't mind sorting it out as there are apps to make this easy.

I think it's classy when other members of the group point out that they should chip in more for the bill so I don't have to pay my full share.

But I also hate having to speak up and say, "Umm, can you guys pay for your own drinks since I didn't order any?"

I'm screwed either way since I sound like a loser when I do voice my request or I get passive aggressive afterward for not speaking up.

Anyone know a good solution on how to deal with this?