Some choice of people's "careers" can be baffling? I've lost track on how many times over the last decade I've said... "that's a job?" It feels like people are just making stuff up as a joke, and then someone decides to give them money for it and then BAM, you've struck gold!
The things people can get paid for, legally, has quadrupled in recent times, so maybe that extended unemployment wasn't necessary. But just because you're getting paid, doesn't mean it's a job or career one should really be thrilled of. Not to shame anyone or be a Debbie Downer, sometimes you just get lucky, and some coin is there for you.
Redditoru/Neil_Murphywanted to discuss people's career choices, by asking:
What profession do you have the least respect for and why?
All of this online nonsense. That is what sticks with me the most. Example, an "Influencer" is not a job. It is certainly not a career. And it is shocking we give money to these people. Not to sound too bitter...
Stalkers
News Stalking GIF by Gecko1Giphy"The paparazzi. No respect there."
"Paparazzi was actually the job I had in my head when making this post, useless to society and only make peoples lives hard by constantly harassing celebrities."
"cancel anytime"
"Whoever makes subscriptions hard to cancel."
"Try canceling a Shipt (Target's delivery service) membership. You get a 4 week free trial, after that it's a $99 annual fee (honestly it's not a bad deal if you would actually be using it.) I only signed up because I was out of town for a conference, the hotel wasn't within walking distance of anything, and while there were several on site restaurants it was ridiculously expensive."
"Like $3 for a 12 oz can of soda or a regular sized candy bar and no complimentary continental breakfast. There was a $9.99 delivery fee or I could sign up for a "cancel anytime" 4 week trial membership and get free delivery so I signed up and got some sodas, breakfast stuff, and some snacks."
"Once my stuff was delivered I tried to cancel through the website and couldn't figure it out. Downloaded the app and couldn't cancel through that either. Went through the FAQs which gave me a link to a non-existent webpage. I ultimately had to call their customer service line and spent over an hour on hold to cancel it."
- Obwyn
Jesus People
"Televangelists. Perverting religion to enrich themselves. They're not the only group that does that, but local priests, pastors, etc. Are not all bad."
"We have a local mega church in my town where folks fill re-purposed theaters and other buildings all over to watch the millionaire hipster pastor each week. Dude wears $1000 tennis shoes, ripped designer jeans, bling… all to talk about Jesus. Peoples' money is their own and this ain't no skin off my d*ck, but it just seems incredibly shady and dishonest to me."
Hey You!
"Not exactly a profession, but MLM."
"Yes! MLM consultants. A bunch of bored housewives who are convinced that they are being "empowered." "Hey I know I used to bully you in high school but I noticed your Facebook profile and do you want to hear about this amazing opportunity?! You can earn 5k a MONTH if you peddle this crappy mascara to all the Mormon moms in your neighborhood!"
Medic
Sick Doctor GIF by KNAPPSCHAFTGiphy"As someone who works in the medical field: pharmaceutical reps. Often big pharma, trying to convince you to sell their products."
People who are undercover shoppers, that's not a job. You're just a narc. And I did serve you that Iced Tea in a timely fashion. Not to be bitter...
Pay Up
martin scorsese casino GIFGiphy"Payday and title loan sharks. Predatory loans. Taking advantage of vulnerable people at low points in their lives with sky high interest rates and fees. Definitely hurts more people than it helps."
Hang Up
"Telemarketers."
"They're often staffed by people who have no other options for work. No one dreams of going into telemarketing as a kid, and it offers work to anyone who can make a phone call. Those people are trying to provide for their families, go easy on them."
Not a profession...
"Poachers."
"As a profession I agree. However, I knew a farming family that were poor and poached for food. I have also known farmers who poach to take care of pests that eat their crops. Can't say I wouldn't do the same in their situation."
My dad poached a lot but took animals that weren't endangered for food. He also brought home roadkill (he had a side job working for the city removing animals and obstructions from the roads). Not the best wildlife management practice and unsustainable if many people do it but pretty benign in my opinion."
Snake Eyes
"I guess it's not really a profession per se, but the whole gambling industry. They keep coming up with more exciting ways to drain vulnerable members of society of all of their money."
"I go to the casino a couple times a year. For me, it's a fun night out. Get a light buzz, wander around looking a blinking lights, blow forty bucks, and get a discount on all you can eat crab legs. But I know people who regularly go there and blow their paycheck, and it's really heartbreaking."
Bad Woo
government shutdown obama GIFGiphy"Political lobbyists - spend tons of money wooing politicians to pass laws that are favorable to big corporations. It's legal yet seems illegal somehow."
I'd be a lobbyist. You get to hang out with the amoral and get paid for it. I've been hanging out with friends for free. And poachers suck, there I said it.
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"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.