People Who Bring Condoms To Funerals 'Just In Case' Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Broke_Pigeon_Sales asked: 'After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?'
Be it desperation, self-indulgence, or simply optimism, many people never leave home without a condom.
If the chances of "getting lucky" are much more likely at some places than others, one never knows where or when they might hit it off with someone.
Including a funeral.
Bizarre and tasteless as that sounds, a recent study reportedly showed that 1 in 8 men under the age of 35 do, in fact, bring condoms with them when attending a funeral, "just in case".
Whether or not these condoms were used, however, is another story entirely.
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
"There is no 'wrong' way to grieve."- Noctudeit
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphyAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
Sex-Ed Teachers Share The Craziest Questions They've Ever Been Asked
Why would you even ask that?!
Sex is never an easy topic to broach. Even when you're in a relationship. So one can only imagine what it's like to discuss the birds and the bees with teenagers or youth in general. That discussion can be just as excruciating as chatting about it with granny. But kids have to be educated and boy do they have thoughts on the matter. Better to learn through class than online though.
Redditor u/ShadowAssassinVI wanted to hear from fornication educators out there, they were curious about...
Sex-Ed teachers of Reddit, what was the one most disturbing question or class you've ever taught?
All at Once...
Confused Lauren Conrad GIF by The HillsGiphyOne of the jocks wanted to know if you were supposed to put your testicles inside a woman's vagina during intercourse.
Facts
Less disturbing and more naive: an eighth grader stayed after her health class to talk to the teacher as I was coming into the room to teach my next section. I overheard her explain that the teacher had said if a girl's period is late, she should take a pregnancy test... But did she need to do that if she'd never had sex?
The teacher, thinking perhaps there'd been some contact other than intercourse that had the girl worried, asked how long it had been since her last period... to which she said she hadn't had her first one, yet. So, a virgin who hasn't started menstruating thought she could be pregnant, because her first period hadn't arrived by age 13.
Seriously?
new girl facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy'If you masturbate yourself, doesn't that mean you're gay?
It was something to think about.
Hatching...
Not a teacher but some kid in my health class asked very nervously if men had eggs. When my teacher said no and explained it he legit looked so relieved. I'm not sure what he was scared of but at least he got corrected before it became an issue lmao.
Please Go
Not a teacher. I was in college intro to psych and one of my classmates asked our GTA why humans couldn't have sex with animals - in front of all of us. The GTA turned red and said it was for several reasons and she'd speak with her after class. The student kept prodding and asking the same thing different ways. The GTA finally dismissed class. That girl never came back to class - and she wasn't joking around. She seriously didn't understand it.
T. M. I.
My husband was the teacher. He was new, fresh out of college, teaching in an all-boys, $20,000 a year school. It was the "ask anything, no judgement" part of the lesson and an boy asked him: "does vagina from different girls taste different?"
...and my then-24 year old husband said "yeah, for sure, like if she smokes or something, you can taste it. Vegetarian girls taste the best."
OMG.
He does not work there any more. Obviously.
Thankfully in the last 20 years, he's become an awesome educator... he's a little less green now and would totally halt that train of conversation now.
Silly Boy
That Is Adorable Judy Greer GIF by Team CocoGiphyNot disturbing, just innocent. An 11th grade boy asked me if it was possible to permanently run out of semen by masturbating too much.
Bad Dean
Not a teacher (sorry). But having just read a completely screwed-up Dean Koontz book at the age of 9, I asked my sex ed teacher if, as I had read, a person born with both sex organs could impregnate themselves.
He answered the question accurately, age appropriately and with a completely straight face.
No Substitutions
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphyNot a sex-ed teacher, but a girl in my class asked our biology teacher whether semen could be used as a replacement for breastmilk.
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Utah Gov. Halts HIV-Prevention Program Because He Doesn't Like The 'Sexual Innuendo' On The Condom Wrappers
A campaign called "H is for Human" planned to hand out 100,000 free condoms in Utah, funded in part by the Utah Department of Health.
Their hope was to try to lower rates of HIV transmission in the state.
However Republican Governor Gary Herbert pulled the plug on the idea.
Why?
He didn't like the sexual innuendo that was part of this safe sex campaign. An "indirect or subtle reference to sex" in a safe sex campaign?
How dare they!
In an official statement, Herbert's spokesperson stated:
"The governor understands the importance of the Utah Department of Health conducting a campaign to educate Utahns about HIV prevention."
"He does not, however, approve the use of sexual innuendo as part of a taxpayer-funded campaign, and our office has asked the department to rework the campaign's branding."
Modeled after successful HIV-prevention programs in states like Alaska and Wyoming, they sought to use local humorous references to promote awareness of safer sex and HIV. An advertising firm came up with sex-positive and pun-filled slogans for the condom packaging.
The more eye-catching or entertaining the packaging, the more likely people would be to take and discuss the condoms and their message.
Erin Fratto of the Utah health department, said:
"If the condoms are fun, relatable, sex-positive—people are more apt to talk about them, which we've already seen."
For Utah, slogans included:
"Enjoy your Mountin" with an image of a mountain; "SL, UT" for Salt Lake and Utah; "Explore Utah's Caves"; and "Don't Go Bare" with a picture of a bear.
Utah Department of Health
The reverse side of the packaging included messages about HIV and the website HIVandME for more information.
Volunteer Michael Sanders—who had been distributing the condoms before being told to stop—said:
"I was on my way to the University of Utah when I got word that it was about to be shut down by governor Herbert's office."
Sanders said he called the governor's office for more information and was told:
"It was an inappropriate use of taxpayer dollars."
Sanders handed out condoms in LGBTQ spaces like community centers and bars to get the message out to the community.
Utah Department of Health
The Utah Department of Health released a statement saying it regretted "the lewd nature of the branding".
"The designs did not go through necessary approval channels and we have asked our partners to stop distributing them immediately."
"We remain committed to running a campaign to help in the prevention of HIV and intend to do so in a manner that better respects taxpayer dollars, and our role as a government agency."