People Who Were Disowned By Their Family Share Their Side Of The Story

People Who Were Disowned By Their Family Share Their Side Of The Story
Denise Husted from Pixabay

Getting disowned by your family can either be absolutely devastating or a massive relief. Either way, usually it's to get rid of toxicity within a family structure, whether on purpose or an unintentional result of the situation.

Here are a few stories about being disowned by family members, from the side of the person who was disowned.

Heads up, these might get a little ugly.

Redditor theconquer0r12 asked:

"Those of you who have been disowned, what was your side of the story?"

First up, here are the ones about family members who definitely dodged a bullet.

These are stories of people who were honestly probably better off without them anyway.

Now THAT’S a toxic family.

I don't consider myself disowned, but I have been cut off from seeing my younger siblings. I've pretty much disowned certain family members myself.

My mother(50) has been abusing her position of EPOA for my Alzheimers addled Grandmother(80) via extortion, and unlike everybody else, I choose to hold her accountable for her actions, because her selfish actions lead to my nana nearly needing her feet amputated from having lack of medical care and attention.

I told everyone what she was doing and nothing happened. No one wants to prosecute her because apparently legal fees are more important than getting my grandmother justice.

So, essentially, I was 'disowned' for exposing her extortion.


At least there was a happy ending.

Mom saw that I'd worn some of her clothes while she was in another province for work. I came home to her screaming that I'd sold thousands of dollars of her clothing to my high school friends (we were so poor we had to steal food; nobody bought any clothes, nobody stole them either lol).

She then said she was going to destroy everything I owned, and in a panic I hid in my room and put the dresser against the door. She started throwing herself against it, and I was terrified to realize she was gonna get in. My lava lamp fell, I caught it, and threw it when she forced the door open. She screamed, I jumped out a window and ran barefoot to a friends house.

She called the police accusing me trying to murder her, I turned myself in and told the police that I did assault her and would accept any charges. They released me to my friends house and told my mom that they'd charge her with child abandonment if she kept pushing.

Her ex best friend drove four days to get me. She signed over the ownership papers and I've had an amazing dad ever since.


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Talk about mommy issues.

My mom decided when I was 13-14 that she didn't want to have kids anymore. Her and my dad divorced. So my dad moved out of the family house and my mom was newly single.

So she gets my sister out first by asking my sister to go away to stay with our dad for the weekend. When my sister came back, my mom had packed all her items in boxes and said, "find somewhere else to live." Sister was maybe 15. Her reasoning is she didn't like the crowd my sister was running with.

With me, I stuck around longer. I took more abuse and neglect. My mom didn't cook, or clean, or have food in the house. And despite getting child support, if I asked for shoes, or anything, "ask your father, don't ask me."

Despite not having food or money, she wouldn't give me the alarm code to the house, or a key. I could only come home if she was home. One day she agreed to drive my friends and I to the movies. Well she and I got into a small argument about something in the morning (I don't remember what) and I left and arrived home in the afternoon. She was home but wouldn't let me in. I was a 13-14 year old kid (before cell phones were that commonplace). Ringing the bell, peering in the windows. She wouldn't let me in. Finally, I found an open window and climbed through and she coldly looked at me and said, "you know, I could have you arrested for breaking into the house if I wanted to."

I went to live with my dad shortly thereafter. She moved away to live with a guy she met from the internet. Sponsored him to come into the country with his 12 year old son. By the time I was 16, she was married and moved the guy in, and bought his son new video games, travel allowance, his own apartment when he was a teenager, and wouldn't even buy me shoes.

Well, she gave this guy access to her bank account and he took all her money. Her entire life savings. All her money in the world. She lost her house and became homeless, my sister took her in at the time.

My mom eventually got back on her feet a little bit, got a job. I tried to repair the relationship and be nice. Never for long.

Finally she had some kind of mental breakdown a few years ago when I was in my early 30's. And called my office demanding I help her. Something happened at work where her mental health went sideways and she started behaving very erratically. For some reason when she called my colleague speaking nonsensically and rambling about me, my colleague decided to give her my number (!!) to take it up with me myself. My colleague said she felt bad after.

So I tried to help my mom, and spent all this time talking to her boss, her union rep, her neighbors, her doctor, trying to help her. And she just kept going crazy and being abusive, not willing to accept my help.

I washed my hands of her.

So she disowned me when she got a better family and then I tried to help her but she tried to take me down with her.


​Unfortunately, most of these situations come out of something completely traumatic. Here are a few of the most heart-wrenching stories.

This mother is a monster.

I was told by my mother that my general existence causes more problems than it solves, and I had two weeks to either leave or kill myself. She didn't care which I chose to do, but if I killed myself I needed to make it look like an accident or she couldn't collect on my life insurance. She decided this needed to happen because I'm disabled.


Screw that mess, indeed.

My dad. It was mostly my decision because we used to do hard drugs when I was a kid. Growing up I thought it was normal until friends found out and told me they were worried about me. I first overdosed when I was 14 from drugs he gave me and let me just say it was all downhill from there.

I'm 13 years sober now but I kicked him out of my life around the same time. My dad still says horrible things about me and his whole family believes him... so I cut them all out. It's definitely for the better as I have created my own family with supportive friends. Screw that mess.


Sad Murdoch Mysteries GIF by Ovation TVGiphy

I was disowned but probably by my own choice.

Father died when I was 18. I gave up college to look after him drive him to hospital every other day for tests. He went to hypno sessions I would sit for hours waiting for him. I did it all. My brother was never to be seen he was away living his life. Mother was a heavy drinker. I still lived at home my brother didn't. I was left to put up with drunk abuse from my mum losing her husband of 30yrs.

I looked the double of my dad so for some reason she took it out on me. Or this is what people told me. Changed locks on me after coming home from work all the time and I was stuck. Claimed I was stealing from her. Telling everyone lies about me it was horrible. Nightly abuse shouting at me accusing me of nonsense while drunk. I tried to help but she didn't want to know. Used to call police on me claiming all sorts. They would turn up see my mum being drunk and me in my room chilling and tell her off.

Was very toxic. My brother wasn't interested he was 4 years older than me and just didn't care. Never visited me or my mum. I begged for help and he was just a coward.

One day a friend had a room come up for rent so I packed stuff and just left. She was shocked and surprised. But was the best thing. I used to try keep in touch but just got abuse. Drunken phone calls and threats.

I was 21 at this point and was expecting a child with my partner so decided I had had enough. I cut all ties.

Cue my brother realising my mum had lots of money from my dads retirement and life insurance. Becomes my mums best friend. She buys him everything. Effectively making a deal with the devil. And is scared to talk to me incase she finds out.

Long story short years later turns out my mum had throat cancer he just didn't tell me about until she choked and died suddenly one day. And I get left a voicemail telling me as much. Attended the funeral through gritted teeth.

And then found out I was nowhere on the will. And my brother got the lot. A substantial amount. And I never heard from him again to this day it's been 5 years since my mum died and he just vanished.

I was told I could fight it but that wasn't me. I was never about the money unlike my brother.

And I live hoping he comes knocking one day and needs a kidney so I can tell him to go away kindly.

Family and money is a horrible situation. And I live daily thinking I did something wrong and I can't put my finger on what it was to be treated this way and it haunts me and has left me with many issues.

The wrong family member died first my dad was a gentleman and looking back put up with horrible abuse from my mum. I was like my dad and my brother was like my mum.


​Sometimes being disowned is over beliefs, or something someone can’t control. Usually these people end up better off at the end, to be honest.

Very culty.

I was a Jehovah's Witness, and I started asking the wrong questions.

There is now several hundred people that watched me grow up, the only social circle I was allowed to have, that must pretend I don't exist if they ever see me.


WTF to all of this.

Where do I start?

My mother and I have never gotten along. As a child she has been overly critical of me (Asian parent). Even when I was small I remember her telling my Dad "If she can't even cut in a straight line what can she even do?!". I was 5 when she said that. When she realized that I was not going to grow up like she did or have the interests she wanted me to have she grew more critical of me. She laid of a bit when my little sister came around and she favored her more. I always felt like I was never enough in her eyes. She only was affectionate during family get togethers, vacations or sometimes in public.

When I came out of the closet, she didn't believe me. She always said lightheartedly that she would love me no matter what but when push came to shove my bi-ness was just a phase. We then went to church for the next few months afterwards (I was catholic). When I hit depression in my teens each time she picked me up from therapy she always kept asking "When am I going to be ok" or hinting how much my sessions are while on anti-depressants. She then cheated on my dad when I was around 18. When I had my son, she came to be supportive after the birth but ended up critisizing how dirty my place was, my parenting and subtly hinted at calling CPS. Post partum hit hard.

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What broke the camels back was I was visiting family and her mother's partner kept on making me uncomfortable. Kept trying to don my child with a certain political hat and took video of her saying political stuff I was not ok with. Kept saying I was uncomfortable but was told "You need to take the stick out of your @ss" or "You need to learn to take a joke." The behavior still continued. Then a big confrontation happened and she denied everything of my childhood. My mother said she can't control her partner, he does what he wants despite us telling her its not ok. She then stated and begged for me to get help. I mentally broke. I'm in therapy now but right now I don't know if I can take it if something like this happens again. I am just thankful for my support system now.

I'm probably missing some stuff but at this moment i'm thankful for who I have in my life and that I'm alive.


Good riddance.

My biological father is an abusive alcoholic, but also super Christian? And super redneck conservative. He gave up his rights when I was 4, which my mom always told me was for the best. After I found out I was pregnant, he added me on social media and saw where I had shared some posts with pro-choice views. I guess it bothered him because he blocked me lol


​But sometimes, the stories are just plain weird.

Sad, but weirdly wholesome.

My 90+ year old grandma has dementia now. Apparently, she disowned some male person some time in her life, and now she gets confused about who exactly she disowned. So, there are days when it's me who was disowned. Sometimes it's one of my brothers, or cousins, or uncles. We all just take turns being disowned for a day. It was tough at first but now we all find it pretty amusing and just a natural part of caring for a senior family member.


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Alcoholism is no joke.

I've been disowned on multiple occasions but the first time it happened my dad (narcissistic alcoholic) got drunk and parked his car in the wrong spot at his apartment so his car got towed. He called me during finals week (I was still awake studying) at 4:30 am asking for a ride to work at 7:00 morning which was only a 5 min drive (he lived 30 min away from me).

I told him I would, but I also worked at 7:00 so I would need to drop him off a little before 6:30 so I can make it to work on time. He told me he would only be dropped off at 7:00 and he did give a flying fck if I was late to work or not. I told him I couldn't do that as I needed to get to work on time, and that I'll drop him at 6:30 or not at all. Cue him calling me every derogatory term for a woman in the book and that I'm "a c*nt just like my mom" (they're divorced).

He sent me this long text about how he's disowning me and never talking to me again, he always loved me and wished I would be a better person when I finally "grow up". I was 22 at the time. He ended taking a taxi cab for the 5 min ride and texted me about it the next morning telling me I owe him for the cab cause I didn't take him. A whole other slew of verbal abuse included in those texts and then he requested $86 from me on Venmo cause I was responsible for him taking a cab and should pay for it.

I wish I could say that I never talked to him after the taxi cab incident but it wasn't until 3 more years of abuse later and A LOT of therapy that I realized I'm not crazy for not wanting him in my life. I have so many other disowning stories from him cause I gave him to many chances, but this one was the most ridiculous.

I've been NC for 5 months now and they have been bliss. I moved across the country 10 months ago and he doesn't even no where I live these days, and the fact that I won't run into him around town is very stress relieving.


This is delusional.

I got disowned by my grandma. My dad passed away when I was 16, she blamed me for everything. The reason he didn't move closer to everyone, why he didn't seek better doctors. It was apparently all my fault. She never spoke me me again and wrote me out of the will.


Talk about gaslighting.

My father was cheating on my mother with a co-worker.

I caught him. Lost respect for him, but could have forgiven him if he came clean and either dumped the other woman, or admitted what was going on and offered my mother a reasonable divorce settlement.

He chose option C, which was to constantly tell my mother she was crazy and making up things. Of course, neither was true.

I never directly confronted him, but stopped communicating with him. I maintained a sliver of hope he would change his ways and our relationship could be salvaged.

He fought my mother over the divorce and denied everything up until the day of the office Christmas party where he announced he had married the other woman.

A year later I received a spite letter from him telling me what a lousy son I was and to go f*ck myself.

I was not upset. I laughed at the nerve he had for blaming me for the breakdown in the relationship.

He died a few years ago. I considered going to the funeral until I heard from an intermediary that I was not welcome there. I was not heartbroken by this news.


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Sad but unfortunately common.

My father has disowned me because he's a Trump supporter and I'm not. I understand he has cut me from his will. My father likes to throw his Trumpism in people's faces but he can't take what he gets gives. The only regret I have is that he won't let my mother talk to me. He has control issues and can't stand it when people disagree with him. I'll not kiss his a** so it's unlikely we'll speak again. I'm ok with that.


Overall, getting disowned sucks, but in the long haul, it can be for the best. People leave our lives for a reason, and it's usually because they're really freakin' toxic.

So if you're going through this, know that it will get better, and you will grow stronger from it.

Surround yourself with the people who love you.

Family doesn't have to be blood related

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