I am a proud burnt toast eater.
Please stop coming to my table with your slightly beige warm bread. I want toast toast. I want crunch, I want little charred bits of dark brown and maybe even some black.
If your bread has the color palette of a hamster, not a rottweiler - you did it wrong and I will die on this food hill.
Reddit user OtherwiseProject1338 asked:
"What tastes better a little burnt?"
I'm not even gonna bother with the whole big long story setup. Reddit food fights are a genre we know and love in these streets. Let's get into it.
Again.
Sautee A Little Harder
Vegan Veggies GIF by Shaka
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"Sautéed bell peppers and onions."
- ARgirlinaFLworld
"This is the answer. Extra cooked peppers and onions on lightly toasted bread and a thin slice of cheddar cheese chef's kiss"
- legocitiez
"If your peppers aren’t black in spots then they aren’t cooked."
- [reddit]
"Black onions are f*cking amazing."
- ThRoWaWaYrenter160
Lessons From Hubby
"For me it's McDonald's chocolate chip cookies, if you find an accommodating store ask them to put yours in the oven for just a little longer and they come out slightly burnt."
"They'll be slightly harder but the crunch and the slightly burnt ends is amazing."
"Learned this from my husband."
- Technical_Way3498
Grandma Gives Up Cooking
"Growing up, the only way that my siblings and I ever ate broccoli, was when it was burnt. We hated it otherwise."
"Our grandmother would always argue with us that it was so much better when not burnt, and she would scoff at our mother for giving us burnt food 😂"
"She is a strong willed woman, and eventually she just refused to cook broccoli for us, since we wouldn't eat it the "orrect way."
"We loved broccoli, so we'd often ask grandma to fix some for us. She'd always reply with 'Are you going to make me burn it? Then no.' Lol"
"You'd think she'd just be happy that kids were willing to eat vegetables."
- Purplecardgame
Natural Cooking Container
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"Have you ever grilled corn in the husk?"
"Just toss it on the grill and turn it every few minutes until the outer layer of leaves starts to burn on the edges. You'll see a little steam around the silks usually when it's done."
"Best part? The leaves become pliable enough you can evert the husk and leave it attached to the cob as an instant handle!"
- Majik_Sheff
"It kills me when I see someone take a perfectly good ear of corn, shuck it, and then wrap it in tinfoil to grill it. You threw away the natural cooking container!"
- moxleycrue
Carbon Adds Flavor
"I’ve never liked asparagus, and I hate burnt food, but my boyfriend was craving the asparagus his sister makes. So I told him if he got the recipe I’d make it for him."
"Her trick? Burn them a little bit."
"Turns out I do like asparagus lol."
- unicornhornporn0554
"Carbon adds a bit of a bite and depth of flavor. Plus 'crispy without being hard' tends to be a pleasing texture."
- Mayor__Defacto
"Yes, my great grandmother used to 'stew' the asparagus, and I would eat it for the nutrition, but wasn't a huge fan of the asparagus. All her other cooking was incredible, god rest her soul."
"But as a grown up, I decided to try asparagus. Me & my dinner guests "burned" up some asparagus on the grill - which does make them quite enjoyable for me!"
"Also, AIR FRY! I love my air fryer, it makes everything so yummy!"
- rodoxide
Crispy Edges
"The top and side of lasagna."
- Sendmeboobpics4982
"My sister won’t eat this. When we’re eating it together, I ask her, 'Can I have your lasagna scab?' ”
- abriefdeparture
"Yes actually, those Lil burnt dots make it even better with those crispy cheese!"
"I learnt lasagna by watching 100s of videos and picking good stuff from each of them. The final recipe I came up with for it was amazing. I was in 3rd heaven eating, man it was like explosion of flavours inside ma mouth."
"I keep that recipe in my safe now to not lose it, it's that precious to me."
- beeg_brain007
"They have those Edge pans for lasagna now, a whole pan full of crispy side pieces!"
- twirlerina024
My Wife's Sausage
"Breakfast sausages."
"My wife is from a country where breakfast sausages are not the norm. She boils them and then lightly browns them."
"DAMMIT WOMAN!! Slam those suckers down on a hot oiled griddle and roll 'em around until at least half the skin is charred!"
- Thundersalmon45
"I only recently realized some people consider what I consider normally cooked sausage to be a little burnt.”
"I’d never considered cooking it any other way. Seems… not done without at least a bit of char on it."
- bakerzdosen
Illegally Limp
food porn bacon GIF by HuffPost
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"Bacon. Limp chewy bacon should be illegal."
- ClintorisMaximus
"Bacon is the way. Crispy-burny bacon is The Force."
- HeyCharrrrlie
"There’s a local place that deep fries bacon in lard. It’s the crispiest and crunchiest bacon ever."
"Now that I’ve been spoiled with deep fried bacon I’ll never eat any other bacon again."
- Due-Paleontologist69
"I legit want my bacon to be a meat cracker."
"When people ask how I like my bacon at breakfast I am always met with a look of confused fear when I say 'I like it super crispy' like they have no idea how to accomplish that."
"I always have to reassure with 'Dont worry, you literally can't overcook my bacon. Char it, it can be burnt black and I'll love it.' "
"I've had limp bacon friends that complained their bacon was overcooked and gave it to me - and it was still undercooked by my standards. I'll never understand those types."
- HelmSpicy
The Topping
"Crème Brûlée"
- ClosetoParfait
"Three different accent marks, this guy doesn't f*ck around"
- Money_Calm
"That burnt sugar topping really hits the spot."
- [reddit]
"Yessss and that incredibly satisfying tap when you crack through the caramelized sugar layer... Magic."
- Purplemonkeez
"There have been several correct answers in this thread, but this is easily the most correct of all."
- ConnorKeane
10/10
"Nobody said brownies?? Burnt edges of a brownie man, 10/10"
- KnottySpartan
"A gently burnt brownie gets me every single time. Glad to know there are people with good taste!"
- SunnyWays8
"Those burnt brownie edges defy logic. It's like the chocolate in those burnt parts has ascended to a higher plane of existence and taken me with it."
"It makes me forget who I am and all my troubles as the world melts away and all I know is the burnt chocolatey bliss I'm experiencing."
"So damn good I can't believe it's legal."
- Dead_Is_Better
It's your turn, food fans.
Tell us all about your best burned bits - is it marshmallows, toast, a veggie? Something completely left field like ice cream cake?
We can't wait to hear it.
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
