The likelihood of a zombie apocalypse is realistically pretty low.
But it's still something many people have thought about in great detail.
Let's be honest—most of us have at least a basic zombie apocalypse survival plan.
Redditor Spiritual_Put_838 asked:
"You switch on a news channel and it shows news of a zombie outbreak on the other side of the world. What are the steps you take to ensure safety for when it hits your area?"
Before The Pandemic We'd Laugh At This
"Buy all the toilet paper." ~ pigeon323
"First response to any crisis." ~ shoephone7
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Can Zombies Climb?
"Remove the stairs in my house and outside my house. It's all about rope ladders from now on." ~ FranksRedWorkAccount
"Bruh, thats like text book zombie survival 101. Ive had a zombie survival plan for my area for over 10 years and thats the key thing you are looking for in a safe house." ~ Bahnd
Unlimited Power
"Surround the house with treadmills." ~ Strange_Rutabaga_826
"Use zombies walking to power your house." ~ Dragon_Magician
"That's genius!" ~ FranksRedWorkAccount
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Are Zombears Real?
"Put air in my bike tires and get some bite proof body armor."
"Put a wagon on my bike and fill it up with cans of baked beans."
"Ride into the woods and build a tree house."
"Cans of baked beans provide sustenance and are a projectile."
"If I have time set up a bunch of bear traps."
"I don't want any bears to get me." ~ ac1084
Know Your Zombies
"It really depends on the temperament of the zombies."
"Are these 28 Days Later zombies or Walking Dead zombies?" ~ Surveymonkee
"Honestly I'd rather The Walking Dead zombies."
"Even though we're all already infected, I totally would rather that than those psychotic scary 28 Days Later ones."
"Also it's easy to trick The Walking Dead zombies by just wearing zombie skin and blood."
"So I'd definitely pick them." ~ TheHippoIsPink
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"I stopped watching The Walking Dead after discovering this…"
"Why doesn’t everybody just have a zombie suit or zombie blood that they put on, go about their business?"
"Although, nowadays, I get it."
"If we can’t even be bothered to put on a mask during a pandemic, who the Hell is going to put on the zombie suit?" ~ Bangbangsmashsmash
Ain't Nobody Got Time For Zombies
"I would just peace out. I'm not dealing with zombies." ~ DimensionalLynx169
"I’ve had this convo with my fiancé and I say the same thing. If it gets to the point where we’re in danger, just put me to sleep."
"I won’t survive and I don’t want to be a zombie, either. He doesn’t like that I wouldn’t attempt to survive, lol." ~ sn0wgh0ul13
"My answer as well. We have young kids that would make it way too hard to survive."
"I absolutely despise thinking that way, but I would rather we all go out together (something peaceful, like in the garage with the car running, listening to our favorite music) than live in fear everyday, or live with the absolute despair of losing each other one at a time." ~ iakonu_hale
"That's what my take on it is. I'd rather just take myself outta the equation. I don't see the purpose of needlessly putting myself through all of that."
"Especially when realistically nobody I love or care about will be around, and all there is to look forward to is more fear and an apocalyptic Earth." ~ DimensionalLynx169
Alternate Food Sources
"Get the Shovel. Time to eat some freaking worms." ~ dragonpolic3
"That's one point I simply don't understand in zombie movies. Insects are a solid food source, and yet every movie, people are hunting for canned food, animals and so on. Make a garden, have some livestock and eat insects if need be." ~ Mizzen_Twixietrap
"I'm not saying you're wrong, but if I had to choose between eating insects or a can of beans I found, I would choose the beans everytime." ~ pulseout
"Humans can also eat over three hundred thousand types of plants. We've just forgotten. Birds rats mice lizards small animals make good meals as well."
"If you're going to eat worms wash out the dirt first. A lot of insects taste terrible by the way." ~ keyboardstatic
"It all depends for me. I'll eat ants and whatnot but anything like grubs, centipedes, or spiders... I'll just let myself starve." ~ ThatAltAccount99
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Who Decided To Use Logic?
"In a realistic scenario, wouldn't Zombies be unable to move because their muscles would be rotting and sh*t??"
"So realistically wouldn't this problem solve itself by dying out in the country of origin?" ~ SubsforLunch
It Worked For Shaun—Sort Of
"Take car."
"Grab Liz"
"Go to mum's."
"Kill Phil."
"Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over." ~ GekoXV
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Barricade
"Probably run to the store and buy as much barbed wire, posts and other fencing material I can. Then maybe grab some gun care stuff. Some toilet paper."
"If I can’t do that, just grab my partner and our loved ones, pack up and head over to my parent's house." ~ BcrackWithTeeth
"Unless these zombies are magical the outbreak won't last more than a couple months as
- They wouldn't be consuming nutrients vital to the upkeep of their bodies.
- Unless the virus keeps almost all of your organs functioning decay is going to set in real real fast. And
- Zombies dont give a damn about their bodies and would destroy their limbs pretty fast."
"So bunker down as best I can, and if the zombies have a mechanism for keeping their bodies running probably kill myself as I'm intelligent enough to understand that I'm too stupid and under equipped to give myself a good chance at survival in that kind of world."
"And my attempt at survival would probably just mean another zombie coming at the people that CAN survive." ~ doktarlooney
Convoy
"Tell truckers that the zombies will force them to wear masks." ~ powdereddog
Nope
"Nice try, I’m not risking you turning into a zombie and knowing what I’m up to." ~ Kalsor
Pandemic Lessons
"All you need is good body armour."
"Human teeth aren't that good." ~ keyboardstatic
"If this pandemic has done anything, it's reinforced the trope that there will always be someone who is 'infected' in your group who won't say anything and keep quiet until the last possible moment and end up being a danger."
"Also, infected people have sudden urges to head to the nearest airport." ~ PanzerBiscuit
"Pfft. If the pandemic taught me anything, it's that people are stupid and selfish (which I probably should have known already, but...) and if they're reporting on a zombie outbreak on the other side of the planet, some a**hole just got off a plane in my area with an active, festering bite."
"I mean, I'd try to fortify the house, but like... the zombies are already here, man." ~ Kaertos
"That’s why one of the requirements for survival groups should be a complete strip search for any new arrivals (to find hidden bites/scratches), and a quarantine for however long it takes for symptoms to manifest, the quarantine facility should be as pleasant as possible, to minimize resistance."
"For exploratory crews returning from runs, same thing, full body screen for exposure, if they pass, no quarantine as they’ve already passed, if there’s even the slightest suspicion of contamination or exposure, quarantine would be required." ~ MacTechG4
"We can't get idiots to wear masks when it would save their own families lives, you think they're gonna be willing to strip down in front of Jesus?"
"Humanity is f'king doomed. We're never going to get off this rock as a species and that's a damn good thing for the rest of the universe." ~ DildoDouchBaggins
"And there'd be a ton of people screaming 'I won't live in fear' marching right into the zombies." ~ DMercenary
"All the people denying that zombies are real even as one is chewing off their arm." ~ DreamCyclone84
"I’d invest in ‘Zombies aren’t real’ and ‘Who are the real zombies?’ signs and sell them to Republicans." ~ Hill_Reps_For_Jesus
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As for me, I'd just stay put.
I live in Maine where there are plenty of trees, plenty of homes with wood stoves or fireplaces, lots of guns, subzero temperatures and several feet of snow.
Have you ever seen a zombie on skis or snowshoes?
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
