Redditor Mister_DumDum asked:
"What's the worst weapon (but undeniably a weapon) to have in the Zombie Apocalypse?"
Reload!
"I’d imagine a Musket would suck."
"Makes a ton of noise and only get one shot with a long reload period."
GiphyAll choked up
"One of those assassin choke cables."
- zinglord69
"Garrote wire."
- USS-Missouri
"...piano wire...for...garroting."
- oyM8cunOIbumAciggy
Giphy
Been there, done that...
"A biological weapon that turns people into zombies."
- DavidHewlett
"So, a zombie?"
- Mouler
GiphySpicy
"Pepper spray. You have to be close enough to use it and once you do, they don't give a sh*t because they are dead and can't feel it."
- ghostiesontoasties
GiphySorry, Ash
"Chainsaw, too loud, too much maintenance to be good."
- TimSherrySucks
"I was gonna say chainsaw too."
"Incredibly dangerous to the user, you must get in close to use it, would get jammed up, need sharpening often and fling contaminated blood everywhere."
- polarbearrape
GiphyClean up on aisle...
"I work at a steel mill and one of the services we provide is melting down weapons involved in violent crimes that have been confiscated by police departments."
"So if everything they’ve brought to be melted down qualified as a weapon, my answer would be a Swiffer mop."
- SmartAlec105
"I love that confiscating and melting down that Swiffer was deemed necessary."
- Deracination
GiphyBut, does he die or not?
"Wolverine Claws, you eject them and slice up zombies, now they are covered in infected zombie blood, you retract them into your body, thereby infecting yourself with zombie virus."
- WAXnIT
"If it was wolverine then his healing factor would just make him even more deadly. An unstoppable force even."
- Bandit263
"Or continually self healing undead state."
- Mouler
GiphyRoundhouse or uppercut
"Brass knuckles."
"Imagine you punch a zombie in the face but he bites you in the process."
- Exene9
Giphy
There are definitely some things to consider here.
Does electricity or water or fire work against zombies?
I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Giphy
So far my biggest concerns are banks and the liquor store. Tell me more...
Enemies
Gordon Ramsay Bug GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"There are so many flies. Flies."
Acceptable_Floor166
"Flies eat dead flesh - they'll be zombie enemy #1."
JustAnotherFool896
Yuck
"The smell. You ever see them movies where the cops find a corpse and they puke because of the smell... of one dead body? What's the smell going to be like when:"
"A huge percent of the population is decomposing and walking around everywhere. Or if you kill them, lying there not getting buried... just lying there getting more stinky."
"No refrigerators so all existing food in everywhere is going to rot."
"Toilets will eventually stop working so you have that to deal with."
"That and diseases other than being bit by a zombie and lack of medicine to treat them."
_ImNoJedi_
Get Soap
"Hygiene. A lot of people take the fact we have easily accessible soap and don't realize just how easy it is to die from a small infected cut without it."
Wolf-Track
"I've thought about this in every zombie film/show I've seen where two characters have sex. They're sweaty, dirty, sometimes covered in blood and zombie guts. That has absolutely got to give you a serious infection, and you won't even be able to find antibiotics to treat it. Yuck."
lovelyxcastle
Power
"Batteries. I’m one of the few left who is watching fear the walking dead. Just saw someone use a flashlight YEARS after sh*t started. 2 weekends ago when our power went out, our flashlight from last year had dead batteries."
funnylooking09
"Most batteries sold these days advertise a shelf life of 10 years. But a battery sitting in a flashlight is likely to drain faster than one sitting in a box."
industrialScreen
Easy Death
Sick Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Simple illnesses such as strep throat."
Zkenny13
"Diarrhea will be a potential death sentence again."
Crabtoe
The basics are always the things forgotten in the movies and shows.
The Collapse
Loop Geometry GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy"Uncontrolled release of toxic and hazardous materials as a result of industrial facilities collapsing due to a lack of continued maintenance."
"Dams collapsing and flooding out everything downstream. Power plants overheating or pressurizing and detonating. Toxic chemicals seeping into the water table or aerosolizing in fires. We made a world that we can only survive in if we keep it going."
Stentata
Can you write me something...
"Your prescriptions. I personally don't take any meds daily but i know people who do and would eventually die without them. Even if you broke into a pharmacy or something the meds would only last you so long. If you're lucky the zombies will decompose until they die but it's never safe to assume that will happen."
CitizenOfInnistrad
Bad Ideas
"Sex in the zombie apocalypse is just overall a terrible idea. Becoming pregnant means you need more food and are much less agile, both major detriments. Even if the baby does get born, that new human is now going to be slowing you down, a hassle to take care of, quite loud and zombie-attracting, and cannot work or contribute to the group, but is still another mouth to feed and water."
MaeBeaInTheWoods
How to Fuel...
"Gas expires."
Link22_22
"'The Last Man on Earth’ explores this after two years I think. He pours petrol from a can and it comes out kinda lumpy. One of the other characters points out that he warned everyone that this would happen and they should’ve been setting up solar panels which is what they do next. Obviously it’s not 100% accurate and it’s a comedy series but it reminded me how fossil fuels would become useless after a while."
reecedutoit
$$$
Make It Rain Money GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"It's not gonna be good for the economy."
Flintz08
Well that is a solid list compiled. I'm ready. Just need liquor.
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Redditor Spiritual_Put_838 asked:
"You switch on a news channel and it shows news of a zombie outbreak on the other side of the world. What are the steps you take to ensure safety for when it hits your area?"
Before The Pandemic We'd Laugh At This
"Buy all the toilet paper." ~ pigeon323
"First response to any crisis." ~ shoephone7
GiphyCan Zombies Climb?
"Remove the stairs in my house and outside my house. It's all about rope ladders from now on." ~ FranksRedWorkAccount
"Bruh, thats like text book zombie survival 101. Ive had a zombie survival plan for my area for over 10 years and thats the key thing you are looking for in a safe house." ~ Bahnd
Unlimited Power
"Surround the house with treadmills." ~ Strange_Rutabaga_826
"Use zombies walking to power your house." ~ Dragon_Magician
"That's genius!" ~ FranksRedWorkAccount
GiphyAre Zombears Real?
"Put air in my bike tires and get some bite proof body armor."
"Put a wagon on my bike and fill it up with cans of baked beans."
"Ride into the woods and build a tree house."
"Cans of baked beans provide sustenance and are a projectile."
"If I have time set up a bunch of bear traps."
"I don't want any bears to get me." ~ ac1084
Know Your Zombies
"It really depends on the temperament of the zombies."
"Are these 28 Days Later zombies or Walking Dead zombies?" ~ Surveymonkee
"Honestly I'd rather The Walking Dead zombies."
"Even though we're all already infected, I totally would rather that than those psychotic scary 28 Days Later ones."
"Also it's easy to trick The Walking Dead zombies by just wearing zombie skin and blood."
"So I'd definitely pick them." ~ TheHippoIsPink
Giphy"I stopped watching The Walking Dead after discovering this…"
"Why doesn’t everybody just have a zombie suit or zombie blood that they put on, go about their business?"
"Although, nowadays, I get it."
"If we can’t even be bothered to put on a mask during a pandemic, who the Hell is going to put on the zombie suit?" ~ Bangbangsmashsmash
Ain't Nobody Got Time For Zombies
"I would just peace out. I'm not dealing with zombies." ~ DimensionalLynx169
"I’ve had this convo with my fiancé and I say the same thing. If it gets to the point where we’re in danger, just put me to sleep."
"I won’t survive and I don’t want to be a zombie, either. He doesn’t like that I wouldn’t attempt to survive, lol." ~ sn0wgh0ul13
"My answer as well. We have young kids that would make it way too hard to survive."
"I absolutely despise thinking that way, but I would rather we all go out together (something peaceful, like in the garage with the car running, listening to our favorite music) than live in fear everyday, or live with the absolute despair of losing each other one at a time." ~ iakonu_hale
"That's what my take on it is. I'd rather just take myself outta the equation. I don't see the purpose of needlessly putting myself through all of that."
"Especially when realistically nobody I love or care about will be around, and all there is to look forward to is more fear and an apocalyptic Earth." ~ DimensionalLynx169
Alternate Food Sources
"Get the Shovel. Time to eat some freaking worms." ~ dragonpolic3
"That's one point I simply don't understand in zombie movies. Insects are a solid food source, and yet every movie, people are hunting for canned food, animals and so on. Make a garden, have some livestock and eat insects if need be." ~ Mizzen_Twixietrap
"I'm not saying you're wrong, but if I had to choose between eating insects or a can of beans I found, I would choose the beans everytime." ~ pulseout
"Humans can also eat over three hundred thousand types of plants. We've just forgotten. Birds rats mice lizards small animals make good meals as well."
"If you're going to eat worms wash out the dirt first. A lot of insects taste terrible by the way." ~ keyboardstatic
"It all depends for me. I'll eat ants and whatnot but anything like grubs, centipedes, or spiders... I'll just let myself starve." ~ ThatAltAccount99
GiphyWho Decided To Use Logic?
"In a realistic scenario, wouldn't Zombies be unable to move because their muscles would be rotting and sh*t??"
"So realistically wouldn't this problem solve itself by dying out in the country of origin?" ~ SubsforLunch
It Worked For Shaun—Sort Of
"Take car."
"Grab Liz"
"Go to mum's."
"Kill Phil."
"Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over." ~ GekoXV
GiphyBarricade
"Probably run to the store and buy as much barbed wire, posts and other fencing material I can. Then maybe grab some gun care stuff. Some toilet paper."
"If I can’t do that, just grab my partner and our loved ones, pack up and head over to my parent's house." ~ BcrackWithTeeth
"Unless these zombies are magical the outbreak won't last morethan a couple months as
- Theywouldn't be consuming nutrients vital to the upkeep of their bodies.
- Unless the virus keeps almost all of your organs functioning decay is going to set in real real fast. And
- Zombies dont give a damn about their bodies and would destroy their limbs pretty fast."
"So bunker down as best I can, and if the zombies have a mechanism for keeping their bodies running probably kill myself as I'm intelligent enough to understand that I'm too stupid and under equipped to give myself a good chance at survival in that kind of world."
"And my attempt at survival would probably just mean another zombie coming at the people that CAN survive." ~ doktarlooney
Convoy
"Tell truckers that the zombies will force them to wearmasks." ~ powdereddog
Nope
"Nice try, I’m not risking you turning into a zombie and knowing what I’m up to." ~ Kalsor
Pandemic Lessons
"All you need is good body armour."
"Human teeth aren't that good." ~ keyboardstatic
"If this pandemic has done anything, it's reinforced the trope that there will always be someone who is 'infected' in your group who won't say anything and keep quiet until the last possible moment and end up being a danger."
"Also, infected people have sudden urges to head to the nearest airport." ~ PanzerBiscuit
"Pfft. If the pandemic taught me anything, it's that people are stupid and selfish (which I probably should have known already, but...) and if they're reporting on a zombie outbreak on the other side of the planet, some a**hole just got off a plane in my area with an active, festering bite."
"I mean, I'd try to fortify the house, but like... the zombies are already here, man." ~ Kaertos
"That’s why one of the requirements for survival groups should be a complete strip search for any new arrivals (to find hidden bites/scratches), and a quarantine for however long it takes for symptoms to manifest, the quarantine facility should be as pleasant as possible, to minimize resistance."
"For exploratory crews returning from runs, same thing, full body screen for exposure, if they pass, no quarantine as they’ve already passed, if there’s even the slightest suspicion of contamination or exposure, quarantine would be required." ~ MacTechG4
"We can't get idiots to wear masks when it would save their own families lives, you think they're gonna be willing to strip down in front of Jesus?"
"Humanity is f'king doomed. We're never going to get off this rock as a species and that's a damn good thing for the rest of the universe." ~ DildoDouchBaggins
"And there'd be a ton of people screaming 'I won't live in fear' marching right into the zombies." ~ DMercenary
"All the people denying that zombies are real even as one is chewing off their arm." ~ DreamCyclone84
"I’d invest in ‘Zombies aren’t real’ and ‘Who are the real zombies?’ signs and sell them to Republicans." ~ Hill_Reps_For_Jesus
GiphyAs for me, I'd just stay put.
I live in Maine where there are plenty of trees, plenty of homes with wood stoves or fireplaces, lots of guns, subzero temperatures and several feet of snow.
Have you ever seen a zombie on skis or snowshoes?
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