We really need to pay attention more as children. That's a hindsight lesson that we never truly get soon enough. We run too fast. We never look both ways and we always don't care. That's what being a kid is all about. And that is also why so much of our adolescence is spent in an ER.
Nine times out of ten all the injuries could be avoided with a little less stupidity. We're all guilty as silly sin, so let's chat.
Redditor u/Ital_Il_Grandewanted to discuss the ways we've gotten ourselves wounded in the past due to lack of "brain power," by asking:
What's the dumbest way you injured yourself as a kid?
I once cracked my front tooth because I chose to swing around a pole like a stripper. I neglected to notice the rock in my path and once my speed picked up... BOOM!
Man Down
Tired Give Up GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"I was bunk buddies with my brother, I always had the lower bunk. one night I convinced my brother to give me the top bunk. woke up in the middle of the night needing to pee. didn't realise I was on the top, face planted the floor. fractured my arm."
Roll Away
"I attempted to take my brand new roller skates on pavement. I did not understand that it was a terrible idea, I was quite young. I fell and broke my wrist trying to catch myself so I would not land on my butt, which as an adult I think probably would have been preferable."
"When the doctor removed my cast, I was screaming and crying for him to stop because he was burning me with that tool. He assured my mother I was only scared and I was held down so he could finish. I have a permanently disfiguring scar on my hand as a result."
"I do not know what is stupider, that an adult automatically assumes a child is screaming from fear and not agony, or that I took roller skates on pavement instead of waiting for rollerblades. Now that I am thinking on it, I believe that was the first actively traumatizing memory I have. What came before is only half remembered, for which I am grateful."
- micarst
Stay Sober
"When I was 6 years old I stole a beer at a neighborhood party. Someone saw me and asked me what I thought I was doing, so I told him I was getting it for my dad. He believed me, I drank the beer and got drunk. As now known to me you should not drink and drive. I learned that that day as I crashed my tricycle. That is the story of my 6 concussions. Also, I can proudly say I have never driven drunk since!"
- P3pie002
Stop, drop and roll...
"I was told to start the fire on the outdoor grill and was given a cup of gasoline. Age 11. I lit the fire and then spilled the gas on my arm as I tossed the cup on the flames. The fire like... caught and climbed up the liquid while it was in the air and back into the cup in my hand. My arm caught fire before the liquid fully fell onto the grill. I was so shocked I kind of stood there for a second before my 9yr-old brother shoved me down and started screaming, "Stop, drop and roll. Drop and roll!"
Dumb Kids
Mad Marbles GIF by DIRTY VELVET CLOTHINGGiphy"I think I was like 2 or 3, and my older brother ripped open a beanie baby and shoved a ungodly amount of the beads in our ears. I was a dumb freaking kid. Doctor had to wash and suck out like 20+ beads out of my brothers and I ears."
I never understood the marble fascination. They seem like weapons of mass destruction. And I know roller skates is death on wheels.
funny kid stuck GIFSlippin'
"Back when I was a toddler my mom would often bring me and my sisters to my grandmother for her to babysit us. One time while there, i climbed up a flight of stairs on the outside of the stairs. The stairs had a banister i could hold, but once i had reached the top, i slipped and fell 3 meters down."
"I fell down on the playden where my baby sister laid. I fell right on the edge on my belly and luckily both my sister and myself were okay. The real stupid part came when my mom came to pick us up. My grandmother was real nervous and told my mom the big lines, but didn't see it so could not tell everything that happened."
"So my mom asked me to explain what happened. I screamed: I will show you! And ran back up the stairs. My mom and grandmother tried to stop me of course. But before they could i was already on my way down. And that is the story of my 4 concussion."
- P3pie002
The Chunk
"When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade the teacher had us move our desks around in class for some reason. We had those kind of desks with the wooden top and the metal cubby underneath. At one point I bent down to grab something off the floor and somehow slammed my mouth into the metal part and chipped one of my front teeth."
"I amazingly didn't freak out, and I don't even think it hurt that much, but I looked down and there my tooth chunk was on the floor by my feet. I didn't ask to go to the nurse or even tell my teacher what happened, and I guess no one saw it cause I don't remember anyone asking if I was alright. In that moment, all my little kid brain could think was that I could probably still get at least a quarter from the tooth fairy for this, as no one had specified that she needed full teeth for the exchange."
"So I just casually slipped it into my pocket and didn't say a word about it for the rest of the day. When I got home I showed my mom to get her thoughts on what I could get for the tooth chunk, but surprisingly she wasn't as eager to talk business as I was. My tooth is fine now so I assume it was a baby tooth, so no harm done. I didn't get my due interest for the tooth chunk which I think is actually the most painful part of the whole thing."
- Mudbud16
daredevil escapades...
"I had made a jump for my bike out of 2 cinderblocks and a piece of plywood. I was having the time of my life jumping my bike pretending it was a motorcycle. Then it stated to rain. I put my bike in the garage and waited by the window for the rain to stop so I could continue my daredevil escapades in the driveway. Well, after about an hour, the rains let up and I ran outside got my bike and pedaled my bike as fast as I could go."
"I was completely unaware of what effect water has on plywood. I hit the jump, the wood bent in a way it had not bent before the rain and I was launched straight up in the air. landed back first on the 2 cinderblocks and then the bike landed on top of me. With the wind knocked out of me I laid there in quiet agony, not having the air in my lungs to muster a decent cry of pain for a few minutes."
- ELPwork
Thumbs Down
thumb cooking GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"I was too afraid of going down a slope on a skateboard, so I decided to try to go down while sitting on the skateboard. My thumb went under the wheel and the nail was pulled out right away. It hurt like hell."
How we survive long enough to reach puberty is a miracle. We should be made to live in bubble wrap until college. I send good luck to all.
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"Hotel staff of Reddit, what’s the most NSFW moment you witnessed at your hotel?"
Thrills On Ice
"I worked at a hotel in a resort town in Europe."
"One of the maids called me to a room for help because it has been the location of an extremely messy sex party from the touring ice show."
"There were used condoms thrown everywhere, and half the furniture was busted."
"The poor maid was in tears, thinking she'd have to clean it."
"The hotel management called in a professional cleaning company who wore disposable suits, respirators, and eye protection."
"They got rid of most of the stuff in the room and charged a fortune to the ice show."- Abba_Fiskbullar
Get A Room! Oh, Yeah...
"I work overnights in a relatively small hotel, and at least 6/7 days a week, I hear people banging loud as hell in their rooms."
"Half the rooms have a balcony that overlooks the lobby, and those doors aren't soundproof at all."
"We had a man sleepwalk out of his room to the lobby, bucka** nude."
"We had a woman show up in the lobby in her underwear."-
Now That Takes Effort
"Night Auditor here, I've seen a LOT."
"Multiple times I've had guests come to my desk completely naked because somehow they locked themselves out.... naked... this one always confuses me."
"But probably the most NSFW was a guest who had gotten violently ill."
"We're talking projectile vomit on EVERY surface of the room, blood all over, feces, pee... everything was just destroyed..."
"Obvious call to paramedics, but I can never unsee it."- thefuzzmuffin
Vomit Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyAmazing He Wasn't Hurt...
"I was a night shift security guard for a motel right next to the biggest casino in my state."
"It was common for addicts to hang out around the property."
"One time, this guy staying in a room did a lil too much and had a freak out."
"He was running around the walkways naked."
"I had to ward him away from peoples rooms so they wouldn’t be disturbed."
"He ended up jumping off the second story balcony and splatting on the pavement."
"He scampered up and hauled a** across the street into a car dealership."
"Not my problem anymore."- Carniverousphinctr
Will Someone Think Of The Children?!?!
"Sex party in the hot tub while children were playing in the indoor pool steps away."
"I had to break that up and throw them out."
"And deal with the numerous lengthy yet justified complaints about it."- mbgal1977
When Wigs And Disguises Won't Cut It...
"Many years ago worked at a very nice casino resort as a valet."
"Regular pulled up in his nice BMW and went to help."
"Wrote up his ticket got his keys and offered to help load up his luggage on a bell cart while we waited for a bellman."
"Opened the trunk and went to lift the suitcase and I about threw my back out."
"I wasn’t prepared for it to be so heavy."
"Gave it another go and heaved it onto the bell cart and heard a sound."
“'Mr, did your suitcase just make an oof sound…?'”
"Long story short a sex worker who was banned from the property was stowed away in there to get up to his room."- thatryanguy1
Why Stop When The Getting Is Good?
"When I was young and worked at a hotel, I was delivering a room service meal and when I got there, the door was closed but had been left just shy of being latched."
'I knocked and the guest yelled 'come in'."
"I pushed it open with the cart, walked in and he was standing there with a big grin on his face watching my reaction as I wheeled in the cart, butt naked with a woman, also naked."
"He smiled and reached out and handed me a $20 he had in his hand and said to just leave it there and close the door on the way out."
"I guess part of their kink was to show off and see my reaction."
"I was shocked, but never said anything to anyone at work."- TXjoedog
NSFW? More Like Safety Hazard!
"The most NSFW thing that I recall was the manager getting on a cleaning kick and accidentally mixing the wrong chemicals in the pool area."
"A toxic gas started to form and the whole hotel had to be evacuated at like 5 AM."- DtotheJtotheH
What Haven't They Seen?
"I did security for a hotel for a number of years."
"I've seen naked guests locked out of their rooms, wedding parties break into the pool area and jump in fully clothed."
"Had a drunk woman climb out her 3rd-floor window and chill on the roof just below."- silverwarbler
Storefront?
"Best friend was GM I was manager."
"He found over the years 4 guns, 5 lbs of weed (at once)."
"The amount of guns is what surprises me."
"Only one out of the four guns found over the years was reported stolen."- Drewpacabra
So Many Questions...
"I wasn't working at this hotel and was just a guest, but I wish I had asked the staff for the backstory."
"I'm checking into my hotel in Los Angeles and was given my keycard."
"Head to the room, open the door, and there's a naked buff dude standing next to the bed just staring at me."
"He says nothing."
"I apologize and quickly leave, assuming somehow I'd gotten the wrong room."
"I go back to the front desk and say, 'I'm sorry, but I think you gave me the wrong room. There's a naked man already in there'."
"The worker at the front desk says, 'Sh*t, not again'."
"He pulls out his walkie talkie and says, 'Security? He's back again'."
"They assigned me to a different room and I was on my way."- telarium
How I Met Your Mother Comedy GIF by LaffGiphyWhat hotel guests do within the privacy of their own room is their business and no one else's.
Even so, it couldn't hurt for them to remember to lock their doors.