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Doctors Reveal What Happens When A Baby Turns Out Not To Be The Father's Child

Doctors Reveal What Happens When A Baby Turns Out Not To Be The Father's Child

Doctors Reveal What Happens When A Baby Turns Out Not To Be The Father's Child

Having a baby is a time that is suppose to be filled with joy, anticipation, love and celebration. The co-mingling of two loved one's DNA to create a beautiful new life is a gift. That is unless there are a few surprises that await the delivery... like who the daddy is. Sometimes the delivery can turn into a scene from 'Days of Our Lives.'

Sometimes, you just let the stories speak for themselves.

Reddit user, u/a_13ulge, wanted to know about what could be the most awkward moments ever recorded in human history when they asked:

Doctors and nurses of Reddit, have you ever witnessed a couple have a child that was obviously not the father's? If so, what happened?

50. Girl. We see you!

Giphy

Labor and delivery nurse. I have been in on a few deliveries where it is blatantly obvious that the baby is not the from the guy that thinks it's his. How it all goes down definitely depends on the guy. I had one who simply caught me in the hallway and asked if we did paternity testing (no hospital that I know of does this, it's done through other sources).

Also a guy who was pretty chill about it but his family flipped the heck out, screaming, and calling all sorts of names to the mom. Then of course a dad who did all the screaming and name calling. The mom's reactions vary too. Most of them will ask about paternity testing and seem nervous, some play dumb and try to convince the world they weren't sleeping around and don't know who the father is. rn_delivers

49. Don't be Cruel. 

My horrible ex-coworker had this happen to her. She was a horrible person for many, many reasons, but one of them was that she cheated on her husband with his best friend. Co-worker and her husband both had extremely blonde hair and light blue eyes, the best friend had thick black hair, dark brown eyes. Everyone knew it was a possibility, and realized as soon as the baby was born. Apparently it was a very awkward day.

The co-worker and husband are still together 16-17 years later, although their relationship is pretty much loveless. They had another baby who was his. Co-worker does not allow the biological dad see the kid, which I think is a crap move.

Husband obviously treats the kid that is his better than the one that isn't, co-worker complained about this constantly when I worked with her, but did nothing about it. It's a really, really crappy situation. The baby is now a teenager and absolutely despises her stepdad, and now has some behavioral problems. REDDIT

48. Deny! Deny! Deny! 

Had a friend who was from Africa. He married this caucasian chick that already had 3 kids with this an Asian guy. Few years after they get married, she give birth to a very asian looking baby, who looked exactly like the other kids when they were the same age. The guy kept insisting the kid was his and that he had a paternity test etc.

 

The funniest part was when his aunt came to visit from Africa and he was telling her about the paternity test during a family/friends gathering and in front of everyone she was like I don't give a damn what kind of paternity test you did, that child is not yours lol. He later had another kid with her who you could tell was his. REDDIT

47. All's Well that ends Well

Probably no one will see this. But my cousin met a girl in rehab. Started dating, she relapsed but was pregnant. Had the child, obviously wasn't his. Signed that it was anyways. 7 years later he hasn't had a drink since then and has had sole custody for 6 years. Loves her and is the best dad. She changed his life. Me0Be0

46. Probably? That's comforting...

Doctor here. I was a medical student rotating on my OB rotation when my wife was pregnant. She went into labor and I brought her to the same hospital where I was doing my rotation. All of the residents and attending physicians taking care of her were the people I worked with every day.

When my son came out, they cleaned him up and handed him to my wife, with me standing there full of emotion, and then my wife turns to me, and in front of all of my colleagues, says "And just think, he's probably yours." purpleddit

45. Thou Shall not Judge... at first! 

Not a doctor or nurse, but when my daughter was born she was in some distress and her skin was very dark, as was her hair. She definitely looked non-Caucasian even though my wife and I both are. I was confused for a little bit, but within a few minutes I was sure she was mine even though her color was so strange.

Now it is a year later and she is a very fair-skinned blonde toddler and everyone says she looks exactly like me. I guess I'm saying that judging an infant's parentage based only on their looks right at birth would be somewhat difficult. thejoda

44. Musical Embryos...

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This happened to a friend of mine, but not in the way you're trolling for! They underwent IVF and somehow the embryos got mixed up. Not dad's and neither mom's or the egg donor's. AnneBoleynTheMartyr

43. All for the best?

Not a doctor, but the child in this scenario. My step dad was aware of the possibility that I wasn't his throughout the pregnancy, but he stayed with my mom, gave me his name, and raised me as his own, something I respect him greatly for. My biological father is still in my life and is great friends with both of my parents, so I feel pretty lucky about how everything turned out. storm525

42. Oh Dad. Really?

Not in the medical field, just married into an odd family. About 15yrs ago my baby brother got real sick, was in and out of hospitals and seeing s bunch of doctors. He's admitted yet again FIL calls and asks all the siblings to come just in case. We are the last to arrive, we get there and everyone is dead silent, obviously been crying.

We both think oh crap he died, SO starts to tear up and his dad comes striding towards us tears still tuning down his face and says let's step outside.

He says baby brother is fine but there is something I have to tell you. Turns out FIL isn't really baby brother's dad, nor is he really dad to 3 other of SO siblings. The hospital wanted to run some tests on FIL and step MIL to rule out something, I don't remember what, and they had to come clean. The siblings were 25, 26, 27, and 28 so it kinda screwed em up for a bit. EzzzzzzzE

41. Science will out! 

Had a patient diagnosed with breast cancer at 33. No family history of cancer, but because of her age, test for inherited cancer syndromes and find one of the BRCA mutations known to be common in the Ashkenazi Jewish population. We're surprised, but it's not impossible for her to have inherited it and for other family members to have just been lucky so far so we recommend that she talk to both parents and that they get tested (to figure out which side of the family needs to be notified).

Talks to her mom that afternoon and calls me the next day to let me know that Mom shared that she had an affair before she was born. Still had to recommend that her parents consider testing since we couldn't be sure, but yeah, that would definitely explain why her family history didn't line up with her early onset diagnosis. I honestly felt really bad that in top of everything else that she was dealing with, now she had this on top of it all. Goatsatemybroccoli

40. No reason to talk about it...

Giphy

So my dad's cousin has raised a boy he knew wasn't his. He even continued raising this boy after he and his wife divorced. The boy doesn't know his dad isn't his bio dad, but he's the only dad he's ever known.

All people in this story are caucasian, so it's not obvious to anyone. But if you really start thinking about it, he doesn't look anything like his dad. whyyesiamarobot

39. The Story Unfolds... 

I was at the US embassy in Korea, in line behind a couple getting a birth certificate for their new child. The women at the window asked for a little information about the couple (middle age, white American man and a early 30s Filipino women). As he was telling his story it came out he mentioned that they met 8 months earlier. The baby was currently about 1-2 months old. The women at the counter said something like "hmmm so you met 8 months ago and babies take 9 months."

The man for a second looked really confused and the women blurted out "HE COME EARLY." This seemed to satisfy both the man and the women behind the counter. A few seconds later the women behind the counter said to the Filipino women "so I see you lived in the US most of the last year, what were you doing there?"

The man looked at here and yelled "you were in the US!!!" The women looked around really nervously and the person behind the counter asked them to step into a private room. Sorry if the story was hard to follow. morgan3000

38. Can't deny the Obvious.... 

My cousin (white, brown hair and blue eyes) and her husband (white, blonde hair and blue eyes) have a daughter who is... not white... has very textured black hair and dark brown eyes.

They have since divorced, kiddo is 11 this year. My cousin, her sister, their mom... everybody insists he was the father, despite her being OBVIOUSLY biracial. REDDIT

37. No 2 Snowflakes are the same... 

My niece, Caucasian, Eastern and Western European and her husband, Dutch and Jamaican have two kids. One daughter with skin like Halle Berry and a son who is as Ginger and pale as they come. Biological siblings with lots of differences. So I never assume anything. richardec

36. Keep your opinions to yourself! 

My dad once told me about the time his sister had her first kid (my cousin, obviously).

As soon as my aunt took the baby, the doctor looked at my uncle and asked "so when's the father getting here?" Apparently the baby "looked Asian."

In response, my uncle punched the doctor in the face. Maybe a slight over reaction... whitfield9919

35. Such Silence...

I knew this guy that was in a relationship with this girl. She got pregnant and he found out 8 months into the kid being alive that it wasn't his. He decided to stick around and raise the kid since he got attached in those 8 months. Fast forward a few years later, she's pregnant again and baby comes out very dark skinned even though they were both white. He had told me that everybody in the room got dead silent and she didn't even touch the baby for the first day. jaymee_go

34. Not a reason to attack an Innocent Sir! 

Nurse here. I have a friend that's also an RN who had a patient in this scenario. Apparently the not-Dad walked out of the room and started to rage. She went over to him to try and talk to him and he punched her in the stomach. She said security tackled him within seconds and got him to the ground. The not-Dad had apparently found out he wasn't the Dad when his girlfriend wouldn't be let him sign the birth certificate? cakejukebox

33. Anything can Happen....

Giphy

My sister and I are white. Blonde hair, blue eyes white. I was at the hospital with her because i wanted to be a helpful and caring brother. They wrongfully assumed we were a couple.

She then proceeded to have a black baby. Not a mixed baby, a perfectly healthy, black baby boy. Everyone looked at me super confused but never said anything.

Plot twist: My sister was a surrogate mother for a black couple. The egg and sperm were both from black donors.

Super white girl had a black baby. It happens... grow_something

32. Truth is in the Eyes...

Ill speak for my doctor on this, bless his heart. My husband and I are white. When our daughter was born, she looked very Asian. What people don't tend to notice about my husband because he wears glasses is that his eyes are very Asian looking. So on my discharge morning from the hospital I'm sleeping and my husband is sitting there holding our baby.

Instead of my doctor waking me up he talks with my husband. Asking him why our baby looks so Asian. My husband had to explain that she looked exactly like his baby pictures from his birth. 5 years later she still looks like a female version of him. Which is ok because we had a second baby that is a boy version of me. ihcuwanfs

31. A Baby is a Baby....

I was in the waiting room once at a small hospital in Vermont, there was two people having a baby that day, and one of them went fine, the other had some trouble. The trouble one's father came out talking on the phone, demanding to talk to a manager... I only heard one side of the conversation, but apparently, they had gone to a sperm clinic and had been given a (his words) "Brown man's baby." GonzoMojo

30. Always check the text! 

I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but I experienced something like this in my early 20's. We had a house picked out, family and friends were sending us gifts and cards. I was along for all of the doctor visits, and ultrasounds, and checkups, and everything. This was my kid, we were in love, I had no question. Then one day I saw a very suspicious message pop up on her phone... and (against all of my normal behavior) I looked at it.

It was from a guy she had cheated on me with. After a paternity test that they both payed for, we learned the truth and it wasn't my kid. I immediately cut all ties, and haven't maintained any contact. My life is so much more fruitful and wonderful, and I've cherished my independence in ways I simply couldn't before. It was a major happy ending, but boy am I glad I looked at that phone. Snappy_Retort

29. Spitting Image...

This happened to my brother. He broke up with his super-crazy girlfriend, and a couple months later, she started calling him, telling him she was pregnant. He was very skeptical that the baby was his (we all were), because after they broke up, she basically slept with everyone who would. So, we waited for months, so she could have the baby and my brother could get the paternity test.

He was in the delivery room and I was waiting right outside to support him. So, after the baby gets cleaned up from delivery, he comes walking out with this weird look on his face and shows me the baby who looks more like his clone than his son. My brother died when his son was 10 and every time I see my nephew, it's a little shock, because I swear I'm looking at my bro. It makes me miss him a little less, though and my nephew is more like a son to me. REDDIT

28. Bridget Jones? Is that you?

Giphy

My father is an OB GYN, so he has some good stories. His latest story is about a women who came to his office with her husband and her boyfriend. They don't know who the father is, and they can't find out until the baby is born, so both men want to be there during doctor appointments and the birth. The two men were surprisingly cordial with each other but I'm betting a paternity test will be run before the umbilical cord is even cut. Racheltower

27. Not the best choice friends... 

There was a girl who was 2 years older than us who was a bit... promiscuous. My friend had sex with her at one point, and 8 months later she turns up at his doorstep claiming it's his. My poor friend helped raise this kid for 8 MONTHS before finally getting a paternity test and it turning up that it wasn't his.

This poor young girl has no idea who her real father is, and while the girl I went to high school with has found someone and they seem to be getting by, I cant help but think that she chose my friend because she thought he was the best shot of someone actually raising the kid (she didn't hang around the best crowd in high school). BorinUltimatum

26. $$$ can't buy you class... 

Happened to a dude I knew. He got his Gf pregnant just as he was about to break up with her. She was trashy and he came from a rich family. But she was pregnant so he did the right thing.

Turns out that the kid wasn't his so he kicked them both out. Apparently the father of the baby was some poor dead beat. Sweetdish

25. Don't Overact Dad! 

Not a nurse or a doctor, but I was the son. Black dad, white mom -- I came out fully white. Dad bailed. Turns out after paternity testing, I AM his. I'm just super white, still am this day. I could pass as Italian or Latino, but I definitely don't look half-black. PNDMike

24. Fooled Us All..

Young couple, I think she was maybe 18 and he was 17. Poor lad was terrified, had worked all hours god sent to make sure everything was ready for his new daughter. His parents, whilst heartbroken, had let his girlfriend move in, had even let them decorate the spare room for the baby. Turns out that when the baby was born she was mixed race. He was absolutely devastated. 25491494

23. 50 Shades of Baby! 

Labor and delivery nurse here. Black babies are usually a lot lighter at birth. Not everyone is aware of this, so I've had a few dramatic deliveries where the father looks at the baby and accuses the mom of cheating because the baby isn't as dark. Lots of drama happens on L&D 🤷🏻♀️ tina_bean02

22. The British 'Maury'

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Not a doctor/nurse, but my dad was accused of being the father to a child that wasn't his.

I grew up in a rough 'chav' estate in England, so when you think of the characters in this story, imagine Shameless-style men/women. Anyway, my dad was accused by a woman he slept with (my dad wasn't exactly the most faithful man), that the child was his, even though the child was mixed. The woman was white, and so is my dad.

The case actually went to the Trisha Show (like the Jeremy Kyle show, but older). The test results came out, and shockingly enough, he wasn't the father. We have the recording taped at home and I like it to watch it sometimes, it's honestly kind of comforting in a weird way. I also always thought shows like Jeremy Kyle were faked, but sadly, they aren't (or at least some of them aren't!)

I'll never forget one moment from the show when Trisha asked my dad "do you have any other kids?" and he just smirked. We never really found out how many women he got pregnant in that time, and it's likely I went to school with my brothers and sisters but neither of us knew we had the same dad. I never really found out what happened to the woman or to the baby either, but I truly do hope that baby grew up healthy and happy, and I hope the mother found peace with herself. egliseerosee

21. The Family Tree...

A friend of mine has a good one.

Dad passed out during the delivery and when he came to the nurse handed him a baby girl that was several shades darker than he or his wife. Baby was also apparently conceived under such circumstances that he knew he was the father.


So this guy was walking around delivery trying to figure out who's baby he had. Popping his head into random rooms asking if anyone had misplaced a baby. This continues until he ran into great grandma. Grandma proclaimed that baby girl is the spitting image of her late husband.

No one has ever told him that his grandpa was black. notmebutmyroommate

20. Laughing Away The Pain

Worked in the army hospital on ft Lewis. A woman came in for belly pain and we found out and told her she was 10 weeks pregnant. The husband at the bedside started laughing, grabbed his coat and left the room explaining to us that he had been in Afghanistan until 3 weeks prior. He looked back and her and just said "well that's that Brittany."

I always liked how classily he left her while she just silently stared off into space.

Mjrfrankburns

19. Watching A Future That Never Was

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I know a girl who was pregnant with her boyfriend's best friend's baby. He found out there was a possibility about a week before she gave birth. I went up to see her once he was born and he looked just like the friend, there was no question. I broke the news to her boyfriend and he was absolutely devastated.

His parents were heartbroken and super pissed. They had bought the girl everything she needed, including a $500 car seat/stroller set. She refused to give anything back.

She started up a relationship with the friend immediately after having their child, and they're still together a decade later. But the the kicker for me has always been that the boyfriend and best friend were next door neighbors.

She moved into his house after coming home from the hospital. So her exboyfriend and his family had to see them basically everyday raising this child that they had believed to be his for the entire pregnancy. I can't even imagine.

Edit: Yes, they did a DNA test right after he was born. The baby was the friend's.

maybebatsh-t

18. Hospital On Red-Alert

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I worked as a lab tech before I became a nurse. We had a set of twins in the NICU that were super early and the mom was still in the OR getting sewed up from the caesarean. I was drawing Baby B's blood when mom was wheeled over to Baby A's isolette. She was crying and said, "Oh thank god you're not black! I have been so worried the last 7 months."

So newborn babies, especially when they're born early, are very pink, almost red. So even if a baby was part-black, their skin isn't necessarily dark yet. But looking at these babies, it was obvious they were going to be black. The shape of the face, the texture of the hair.

A few weeks later, my NICU nurse friend told me that the babies were now on a "no-info status" meaning security alert, can't give anyone information about them, can't refer to them by name, etc. She said there was a huge fight because the mom's husband (white guy) obviously noticed that the babies were half black and that mom had cheated on him and got pregnant. The real dad (black guy) came in and didn't realize the mom was even married.

fitnurse6

17. There Was Never Anything There To Begin With

I had a vasectomy. While chatting with the doctor, he told me about another patient. This guy had three kids and came in for the snip-snip because he and his wife decided they were done having children.

The doc opened up his sack and found nothing to snip. This guy was born without the ability to have any children. The poor doctor had to explain to him what happened.

Imagine finding that out that way.

timmg

16. Peace, Girrrrrllll

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Had a college buddy whose fiancee was pregnant. They were the "perfect couple," both had just over a year with great careers starting out, everything was butterflies and rainbows.

Fast forward to the delivery room, they're in there and out comes a very black baby. He's quite the pale redhead, and she's a blonde/blue eyes Texas girl. He made sure everyone was ok, waited for her parents to arrive, and left without saying a word.

He moved all his stuff out of the house while she was in the hospital, and cut off all communications with her, just walked out of their lives in the most stone-cold act I'd ever seen. They were together for nine years, and he just left cold turkey.

She tried to contact him at his job a few times, but he quickly moved up the ladder and eventually got a job in another city. He told me once that he took solace in the fact that her family had already dropped about $10k in a wedding that never happened.

tacoscholar

15. 30 Year Guilt

I used to work with a guy whose wife was pregnant. Near time for delivery every one at our place of business had a big party with gifts, money, etc.

So big day comes, water breaks, they get in car to go to hospital. She breaks the news on the way there it's not his, the kid is another race, and if he could just drop her off at the hospital and then leave, that would be great.

He slowly lifted his head to look at me with a painful look. The room was dead silent. One of his workmates stood up, grabbed my arm and walked me out of the room, shushing me. "What happened, " I asked, "Did it die? What's the problem?"

When he told me I about died myself. I still feel bad for the dude and it's been 30 years.

14. Screams Are A Good Indicator

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Had a lesbian couple come in.

One of them was pregnant, neither knew.

Judging from all the screaming this information was poorly received.

PrimateOnAPlanet

13. A 25 Year Secret

Happened to my fiancé's mom. His mom is a labor and delivery nurse.

One time she had a patient whose parents were present during her stay at the hospital. The staff there have a white board with some general information about the patients like blood type, time spent in the wing, and like how far along. This information is nameless for HIPAA reasons and instead has a patients number.

So this patient happened to be the only one in the wing at the time. Her father was walking back from the cafeteria at one point, and noticed the board. He stopped one of the nurses and asked if the blood type for the patient on the board was correct (he knew his daughter was the only patient there). It was B+. The nurse confirmed it was correct.

Turns out he knew his and his wife's blood type. He was O+ and his wife was A-. This combination will never yield a B+ baby. He brings his wife out and just points at the board and this look of shock washes over her.

ljb423

12. When You Just Know

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I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We got the babies right from delivery, cleaned them up, footprinted them, checked vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. This dad comes in with this baby. Dad is white, mom is white, baby is very obviously not white.


The dad was very quiet standing next to this baby, watching us clean it up. He says quietly, "I don't think this is my baby." You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure. Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to mom, but I felt awful for the guy.

rootberryfloat

11. And Now, For A Change Of Pace

My aunt is a nurse in the maternity ward. She had a couple come in where they were both very black. Lady has baby and it is white AF. Like, totally pale, no trace of any pigment. They put the baby on her mom and the mom starts yelling about how this isn't her baby and they stole her baby (in all fairness, you can be very confused during/after deliver), just sobbing and freaking out and the father is just sitting there and looks very confused becasue even he's realizing that even if she did cheat, there is no way the baby would be THAT white.

The doctor and nurses are trying to assure her that this is her baby and the skin usually darkens later.

Come to find out, when he called his mom, she pointed out that they have a second cousin who is albino and maybe baby got that gene. Turns out that's what happened- baby was albino.

Beachy5313

10. No, No, It's Mine

I had the opposite happen, sort of.

My wife and I are both brown skinned dark haired half-Mexicans and our moms are both 100% white blondes with blue and green eyes.

So we sort of knew it was a crap shoot with our baby, but the nurse who was assisting with delivery had no idea. At one point she gets sort of nervous and calls for help and another I guess more senior nurse came in and nodded and came over to talk to me.

I thought there was something wrong with the baby as she comes over and stumbles through some questions; so I was the father and no one else was coming, etc. Then finally she awkwardly asks if either of us happened to be blonde growing up.

I said yeah I was and both the baby's grandparents are blonde as they come and this wave of relief went over her and she brought me over to see this blonde as hell crowning baby head.

It's funny because he looks just like me if you applied a gringo Instagram filter. We often get awkward questions about his heritage and my wife always hits them with "Yeah we're not sure if he's mine."

It's always funny to see people nod for a moment and then go "Wait what?"

PMYOURGOOD_NEWS

9. High Five, Son!

I'm a nurse but this didn't happen to me. Friend of mine got pregnant in high school. She claimed it was our local doctor's son's kid so he agreed to deliver his grandchild for free.

Child delivered and it was obviously half African American. Doctor's son and girl were both white.

I think he still delivered it for free as he was relieved his 14 year old son wasn't a dad.

Dramaqueen_069

8 ...Classy.

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I work in anesthesia. One of my colleagues had someone vaginally deliver a baby with "Steve's Lunchbox" tattooed above the "birth canal." The OB/GYN said to the father after the delivery, "Congratulations Steve."

The guy replied that his name was indeed not Steve.

passing_gas

7. It's Time To Go

My best friend was dating a girl and knocked her up. They got engaged, and planned to get married right after the baby was born. There were about 10 of us in the waiting room waiting for her to crank out the baby. It was essentially her parents (his were in another state), some of her friends, and some of ours.

After sitting there for about 2 hours, he walks out with a smirk on his face and says "let's go", we all thought something horrible had happened. Her friends ask how the baby is, and he said "fine, but black".

He motioned for us to go, so we followed him. In the parking garage, he tells us to follow him to his apartment, then sends me a text asking I could put him up for a while. We literally moved him out of his apartment and into my spare bedroom in like an hour tops. Her parents didn't know who to be mad at. The confusion on their faces when he told them the baby was black was priceless.

Goyteamsix

6. The Timing Is All Off

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My grandmother was a nurse. Once she was assisting with delivering a baby and the ostensible father commented that the child looked good for a premature baby. Without thinking my grandmother told the truth. "That baby is not premature."

So I guess I know where I get my social obliviousness from.

tornado28

5. Someone's Getting Kicked Out

My wife is an RN/Hospital Supervisor. Code Yellow is the code over the intercom for security/large male nurses needed.

It rarely ever happens but every now and then over the speakers you hear a "Code Yellow, Labor and Delivery."

You know the reason.

TheLegend5

4. A Long, Arduous Journey

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Neither a Dr or Nurse, but a good friend of mine was out of the country on emergency with his work and I ended up bringing his wife to the ER.

My friend and I are (even still) best friends and all of us went to high school together and I had no idea his wife was unfaithful however, I was in the delivery room as she didnt want to be w/o anyone there.

Baby came out.....straight up Asian. I knew....the OB knew. I just walked out the room then. All I could hear her wailing saying her marriage is over and the nurses quickly picked up on why she was crying. I called him and told him the news, he explained to his work that a true emergency was at home so they chartered him a flight home (Saudi Aramco high class action) and he filed for divorce right then and there.

During the divorce out of their 3 kids, 0 was my friends. It didnt just mess my friend up, it messed the kids up as well because they knew him as "daddy".

The Court tried to make my friend pay support for those kids who werent his because "they became accustomed" to it and the dad abandonment was borderline criminal. He had 0 biological attachment.

Family courts are so biased against men. My friend spent a fortune fighting it out of principal and eventually won. It emotionally ruined him and now he doesn't trust women. He wont go on dates or anything because of it. I cant say I blame him but that is beyond f***ed up.

TehSTDs2017

3. Stick To The Lie

my brothers friend was in the army and had a shot gun wedding with a woman he had been dating for a few months, she's white american and he's white Hispanic, the baby came out black. until the results came in she was adamant that the baby was his, she even went to the extent of claiming he was getting her depressed and suicidal and was a bad father because he wouldn't claim "his" child. the results came back and she said the baby was his and the paternity test revealed that was a lie.

pretty much she thought she was going to stay with him for that army money.

lolalaughed

2. Dumping Responsibility On Another

Nurse here. Once had a couple come in, just them. The father was black and the mother was white. The father was so involved, so ecstatic about him becoming a father for the second time with this women. Nothing really seemed off, until she started pushing. The baby girl came out completely white, blonde hair and blue eyes. Usually black babies come out a little pale. but this was just straight out white. We had to escort the father out for fear of him becoming violent, but he just sat outside the room, on the ground with his face in his hands. That was one of the saddest moments I think I've ever seen with a father, besides stillbirth.

Odd thing after though, the mom didn't want the baby and wanted nothing to do with the "father", probably out of guilt. So she left the responsibility of this baby and their other 2 year old boy to this man who didn't even question taking on this child.

Idkjill

1. When It Doesn't Matter

[rebelmouse-image 18347928 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Kinda off topic but I gotta give my friend credit for doing some thing I don't think I could ever do.

Found out after being married an having a 3 and 1 year old his wife had been cheating on him. Multiple times, with multiple men. (Everyone is white though so no obvious signs).

Anyway, when he finds that there is the chance neither of the kids is his, he buys two paternity tests.

He brought them home, but then the horrible conclusion hit him.

He was prepared if they were his. He was prepared if they weren't. He had NO idea what he would do if one was and one wasn't.

So he threw tests away. They divorced, she keeps seeing people for short times and he is now remarried to a fantastic person.

KMApok

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?