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Criminals Break Down The Crimes That They've Gotten Away With

Criminals Break Down The Crimes That They've Gotten Away With

The weirdest things can be crimes. But also, crimes can be anything that someone in the 20th century decided shouldn't be allowed.


A lot of things that are against the law in the USA are criminalized poverty as a result of the 80s. For example, sleeping on a park bench is illegal in a staggeringly large amount of states in the union. So when you make it impossible for people to afford living but also make it impossible for them to find alternatives, what are they supposed to do?

u/NEW_ME__ asked:

Criminals of Reddit what's a crime you got away with?

Here were some of those answers.


Silence In The Library

I do still have an unreturned library book from around 1993.

I got a response from the librarian. See below.

Hi, If you checked the book out that long ago, it isn't on your record anymore. Whatever the statute of limitations was back then, it has long expired. We no longer have overdue fines in Wake County, so you owe none.

They used to just cap out at $2.00 anyway. We have enough copies of the title in the system to meet demand, and, in any event, we aren't currently accepting donations.

I think the universe intends you to have that copy. If you have a current library account, I can check its status. I know that this book will not be on it, but I can see what is. If you provide me with your address or the last 5 digits of your account number, I can look you up.

AdamInChainz

Life Harder Than Candy

When I was 7, I accidently put a candy to my pocket at store not knowing about it and i stole it

Ok_Combination7979

Damn you're a hardened criminal!

IAmABakuAMA

Sniffers Begone

I got my niece's nose. Still got it around here somewhere.

Kukukichu

Now your niece looks like Voldemort :(

The_Silver_Summoner

Okay so maybe most people haven't gotten away with serious crimes.

So It Seems Like You DID Have Enough Booze

Attempted Breaking & Entering. Long story short. We ran out of alcohol. We drove to a club a buddy worked at (7am on a Wednesday).

Tried to break a door down with katanas and Burger King King masks. We failed. Thank god

shartnado3

Can't The Cops Like...Do Their Jobs

My buddy got a $75 jaywalking ticket in San Diego. Forgot to go to court, got popped for that too. Whole thing ended up costing him around $300. All for crossing when the sign said do not walk.

nofartknockin

I really don't get how that's a crime in the US

efrost55

Thank the auto industry

Paraneoptera

Especially Heinous

I once wore socks with sandals while fashion police weren't looking

fh3131

Stop right there criminal scum!!

alderberry

Ripping Off Small Time Artists

Stole around $300 worth of merch at an anime convention to impress somebody I met there. She stole something first and I didn't want her to think I was a p*ssy... we split up and met again later and she was shocked.

Never stole again though.

thewitchmaker

Stick It To The Man™

Not the exact question, but a friend of mine shoplifted a lighter right under a cop's nose just for the thrill.

It was in line at a convenience store, cop was right behind us in line. She later gave me the lighter, and it's one of my favorite things.

Mortambulist

My Roommates Always Do This

Not really serious but I went into a supermarket opened the fridge and drank an entire bottle of orange juice and left. I was on medication but should have known better than to do that :(

kasowavd

But like... orange juice is good, if I was a judge I'd let you off

SSJGINGER

Same Gurl

I had gay sex in Alabama.

Mortisthecat

Pretty sure there are Supreme Court rulings to protect your behavior there, but for the longest time, sale of sex toys was illegal in Alabama.

GGayleGold

Some of these are crimes of technicality, some of these are crimes by complete accident.

Some are intentional, but nobody was hurt. Still, The Social Edge does not condone stealing or drinking orange juice straight from a store fridge.

Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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