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People Share The Absolute Creepiest Historical Facts They Know

Human beings are cruel.

Humanity tries its best to sweep that all under the rug, but like dust, truth spreads when you dig deeper.

There are some historical facts and stories that could make one's skin crawl.

And you thought a late-night Dateline NBC episode could give you nightmares.

Redditor DaredevilDude36 wanted to share some sordid details about the past. They asked:

"What is the creepiest historical fact?"

I don't know much about history... so here I go learning.

Death Fear

tales from the darkside 80s GIF Giphy

"Male mummies are found to better preserved because female bodies were not sent for embalming right after their death for the fear of necrophilia."

curiousstrider

"mummy brown"

"In the past, people used mummies for everything from medicines to colors to paint with. There was even a tonic to drink that had ground up mummies as part of the ingredients. As for painting, the color was called 'mummy brown.' It became in such high demand that, in some instances, the remains of executed criminals were mummified and used to satiate the demand of artists."

jlanger23

Stocking Up

"In WW1 there was a Hungarian man that said he was stocking up on oil and was sent off to war. His towns people needed it and opened up the cans to find several dead women in there apparently he also tried to suck their blood and he was never seen again."

AffectionateBat6818

The Yellow Tiger

"Zhang Xianzhong, also known as Yellow Tiger, was the leader of a seventeenth-century peasant revolt which conquered the Chinese province of Sichuan at in the end days of the Ming Dynasty. There he lived the life of a warlord, in constant battle, and eventually descended into madness and barbarism wherein he turned upon his own people in merciless slaughter."

"He would pile the heads, hands, ears and noses of those he had killed, so as to better keep count of his murders. In Chengdu, there was erected a stele to commemorate his murders. It has come to be known as the Seven Kill Stele, and read: Heaven brings forth innumerable things to nurture man. Man has nothing good with which to recompense Heaven."

wogatic662

Oh Cleo

Elizabeth Taylor Cleopatra GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

"Cleopatra was the product of four consecutive generations of brother-sister marriages."

pivasi5937

History is really littered with scandal. How is so much of this left out in school?

Leather

"The Leather Man was an individual who would walk the same 360 mile route between the Hudson and Connecticut Rivers approximately every 30 days for 30 years. He was named Leather Man because of the hand sewn leather clothes he wore and the fact that he never spoke to anyone other than shopkeepers for supplies and would never divulge anything about his past. He is believed to be French or Quebecois because a French bible was found on him when he died. When his grave was recently exhumed to test his DNA, no remains were found."

figejiy586

No Air

"3 sailors survived the sinking of the USS West Virginia at Pearl Harbor, only to die 16 days later, due to the lack of air. The Navy knew they were there, but couldn't get to them."

pivasi5937

"To add to this: if I’m remembering correctly, they couldn’t get the cut open the ship to get them it could flood the whole ship, and they couldn’t use a torch as it was covered in oil, it would cause a massive explosion. Marines who were in the immediate area would hear them banging on the hull, they’d cover their ears to block out the sounds."

TalkingFishh

During the Famine

"I live in a city named Halifax in the province of Nova Scotia, Canada. During the potato famine in Ireland thousand of immigrants would land here first before heading on to other parts of Canada. Many did not survive the crossing so mass graves were dug. One day workers who had been loading bodies into these graves went to lunch and upon their return found one person had crawled out."

feyeb41097

It Worked

"Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique' was written by him for the woman he was relentlessly stalking and harassing. His idea was to basically reveal to her that he had written it for her after she attended the performance, which he had pressured her into attending. Somehow, that crap worked, and I believe they married... don't believe the marriage lasted. They literally did not speak the same language."

figejiy586

Painful on Purpose

"Vlad III, better known as Vlad the Impaler. It's said that when he impales the Ottomans, he'd use a stick with a dull tip to impale them from the anus through the mouth STRAIGHT UP. And from what I've heard, he used sticks that has dull tips because it would push the organs aside rather than stabbing through."

"So they won't just die right away but they would have to suffer painfully. I can't imagine being a soldier marching through a forest of my comrades moaning in pain, knowing that if I make one mistake, I would end up with them suffering their fate."

TR45H_Pr0TaT0_69

'entertainment'

"Probably not the creepiest but still disturbing. Japanese warriors during many battles used to behead enemy generals/higher ups and present it to their lord/general at dinner as an 'entertainment' after winning the battle."

TomokaTheAxolotl

"The ancient Celts would embalm the heads of the enemies they had slain in battle and nail them above the entry of their house, or keep them in a chest to show to guests."

phailanx

To Shore

"The Raft of the Medusa. In 1816, France sent a ship called the Medusa to go reclaim the French African colony of Senegal. The captain was appointed based on politics rather than merit. Captain Dumba** ended up running the ship onto a sand bar and refused to dump the cannons in order to make the ship light enough to get back into sea."

"The giant raft they built to hold the ship's cargo was eventually used to float the 147 people who couldn't fit onto the lifeboats. The idea was that the lifeboats could tow the raft to shore. The lifeboat folks, including Captain Dumba** and the governor, decided to cut off the raft and leave everyone for dead while they sailed to land. After two weeks, there were only fifteen men left alive on the raft and boy, did they have a story to tell."

neporap453

“unhygienic”

"Not really creepy more like.. gross. One of the King Louis. His servant said that he had so much lice that when he would eat, clumps of lice would just fall onto his food. Apparently washing your head/hair was 'unhygienic' back then. I don’t know much about lice or medieval times, or which King it was, this was just something I heard from several people and I never thought it was fully true. I thought it was something I could share on this question. Again I’m so sorry and just wash your hair, people!!!!"

M1lk_st1ck

Trial and Tribulation

"One of the creepiest events I tell students in my Western Civilizations class is the ecclesiastical trial of Pope Formosus around 875 AD. This event was called the Synodus Horrenda, also known as the Cadaver Synod. Formosus had been dead for 7 months, but the new Pope, Pope Stephen VI, found it necessary to exhume Formosus' body and bring it to the papal court to answer for accusations of perjury and acceding the papacy illegally."

"Granted, the Catholic Church has gone through many strange things over the course of its history, however, this event always gets a reaction, especially when the Jean-Paul Laurens painting is shown."

VisualInstruction378

full of absolute psychopaths...

"Ancient Japan was full of absolute psychopaths, for example during the Sengoku period if a daimyo won a battle a lot of them would order the executions of entire villages, women and children included, just to send a message to their rivals that they weren't to be f**ked with. Nobunaga Oda and Masamune Date were both definitely noted for this. Absolutely unnecessary, they cared more about their own reputation and flexing than they did about the lives of an entire village."

Conqueror4life

Dirty

"The assassin of US President James Garfield, Charles J. Guiteau, had a long history of priapism and phimosis. This resulted in chronic pain because his foreskin was so tight that it would not and could not retract normally. A group of doctors claim the severe pain led to a form of insanity that led him to kill the president. At Guiteau's autopsy, he was found to also have an advanced case of balanitis and balanoposthitis with a significant accumulation of smegma. Go figure. A dirty *ick killed a president."

figejiy586

The Emporer

"The first emperor of China Shih Huang Di wanted to live forever so he was looking for the elixir of immortality. His doctors were given a choice find it or die.. Anyhow soon he discovered a liquid that is considered to be it... Thus he drank it daily... Not knowing his magical liquid was actually Mercury and it was slowly poisoning him... He died of Mercury poisoning..."

wogatic662

Pure Evil

"Madame Delphine LaLaurie was a wealthy socialite in New Orleans Louisiana who happened to be a most disturbing sadist and serial killer with a secret torture chamber in the attic. She tortured and killed her servants and was found out because of a fire that started in her house."

feyeb41097

Dominoes

"The Einsatzgruppen has always freaked me out. They were the Nazi death squads that went around and shot people into mass graves. But they started to go crazy having to look people in the eye and shoot them, so the high command came up with the idea for death camps."

"The whole series of events is basically the worst game of dominoes ever. Edit: Also, I think the cost of bullets was too high - another contributing factor to developing gas chambers. While we are on the topic: they used to suffocate people in vans with exhaust pumped in."

wogatic662

History is gruesome. It's like real life horror movies.

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People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.