During my time in New York, I have had more roommates than I can count.
I use to keep a running tally but I stopped at twenty... or at least I stopped caring.
I have been blessed to not have been bogged down by any true psychos.
I had a few borderline loons but nothing where I feared for my life.
Sadly, I know far too many people where that wasn't the case.
Redditor 00Dylan wanted everyone to share about the times we've lived with some serious nutjobs. They asked:
"What did your roommate from hell do to earn their title?"
I have a friend who had a roommate who would slip into her room at 3am to watch her sleep. For fun. NO!
My Stuff
Audrey Whitby Reaction GIF by AwesomenessTV
Giphy
"Yelled at me for reading my own books because it messed up the decor. Books were sorted by color and not subject and reading them made them look not as new. Yeah. My own books."
madpiratebippy
Ruined
"Roommate was a total slob, and I am not saying this lightly. He would eat dinner on the couch, then put his dirty plate (with scraps and bones) under the couch. I would have to check constantly for that or else we would get some foul smells. One time he had pancakes and put the plate under the chair, and due to the large amount of leftover maple syrup we got ants. He would just trash everything and made the house disgusting."
"Finally I had enough and I stopped cleaning up after him. I just let the house fall into total ruin. He then started staying at his parents house, telling them and our friends that I was a slob and he couldn't handle it anymore. He eventually moved out and lives with his girlfriend now. She complains constantly that he is a slob."
Calis708
Psycho
"She released my pet iguana into the wild. She blackmailed me via email from the next room. I caught her going through my nightstand when I came home from work. When I moved out, she poured baby oil and soy sauce all over my N64, SNES, Sega, and controllers. She ran a needle across my favorite DVDs. I got her back, though… and got my consoles professionally cleaned."
paythemandamnit
Thief
"She had the landlord return the security deposit in her name, even though I'd paid it in full. It was $1800. When I asked the landlord for the deposit back, he said he already gave it to her and I had to work it out with her. I was 19 and didn't know any better. Needless to say, she never paid me back. Still bitter 20 years later. I worked full time in college and her parents paid her way. $1800 was a lot of money back then."
Jen_the_Green
Holes
Kyle Gallner Reaction GIF by Arrow Video
Giphy
"Burned holes through the bottom of my pots making instant ramen in maple syrup instead of water. She forgot it on the stove while playing bongos in the living room at 2:00am with some dude she’d brought home off the street."
Terin_OSaurusrex
That's why there is a microwave!
Menu Issues
Hungry Night Court GIF by Laff
Giphy
"I had roommates there were 7th Day Adventists and would eat my food. They said they were not allowed to eat pork so I started buying only lunch meats that obviously contained pork but they still ate in anyway."
wanted_to_upvote
"inappropriate"
"She stole my underwear, wore them, then reported me to our boarding school for having personal 'inappropriate' underwear when I confronted her for stealing them. She got in trouble for theft, but I still got in trouble for having clothes outside the dress code even though I threw them out after I saw them in her dirty laundry hamper."
CaffeinatedHBIC
big mistake...
"One of my first flatmates in London was weirdly into me. One time I took a friend home cause she was too drunk to take the tube by herself. My flatmate saw us getting home, asked me if she was my girlfriend and I said yes hoping he'd leave me alone after this... big mistake. He asked if he could sleep with us in my bed (my friend was passed out at this point), said he 'wouldn't do anything, just wanted some human contact.' Creepy as hell, moved out shortly after that."
SugarHewson
"hashed"
Black Girl GIF by Sam Cannon
Giphy
"My college room mate ran out of pot so he tried to boil down his bong water to 'hash' in my microwave using my tupperware. The residue ended up fusing with the plastic at the bottom of the container so he scraped it out with a razor blade and smoked a big bowl of plastic and bongwater concentrate with the windows closed."
GoBananaSlugs
The Kitchen!
"I had a coworker who was living at my home for some weeks. Wasn't specially clean and sometimes he drank my beers but overall it was an ok situation. One day he told me he was moving back with his wife, and I said it was cool, he could take his things out whenever he needed, not a rush."
"Almost immediately I found someone else who was looking for a room and I told him yeah you can move in on Monday. Monday morning I wake up and there is a bicycle on my living room. 'Weird- how did he got in here?' I thought. Went to the kitchen (the kitchen!) and found ex roomie banging a woman there."
"Someone who wasn't his wife. I threw his stuff outside and asked for the keys. It was a little awkward afterwards at work."
Corona_Hex
Please NO
"Freshman year he called for a meeting with our RA. During it he said, "Sometimes when everyone's sleeping I want to pour gasoline all over the place then light a match and walk away from the mess". RA with a stunned face is like, 'no... no don't do that.'"
Duck_Sorcerer
"broke in"
"Not super terrible but we went to a party, he got drunk super quick and saw some people he didn't want to be around and walked home. About an hour later me and my other roommate headed home too. When we pulled into the driveway we saw lights on in the living room, which quickly went off. When we got inside we saw a massive person sized hole in the hallway wall into the bathroom."
"Our roommate was pretending to sleep and when we asked him what the fuck happened he said someone 'broke in' didn't try to steal anything but just busted a hole in our wall (from inside of the bathroom into the hall I should add), then slipped out the still locked back door (they didn't see him laying on the couch at all either apparently)."
theDeuce
Witness
Cry Crying GIF by GIPHY News
Giphy
"Literally murdered a man at my house. I had to testify."
CoyBabee
“treat”
"Started doing small amounts of methamphetamines regularly to 'treat' their self diagnosed ADHD. Did seem to help for a short time but then quickly descended into large amounts of crystal meth almost all the time. Breaking point was when they presented a 30+ bullet point itemized list to all roommates about the things they didn’t like about us."
"Included things like '3 crumbs were left on counter after cooking' and 'chair not pushed in perfectly at table after standing up.' Then they began stockpiling guns in their room. Luckily lease was up for renewal and we all noped out of there quickly."
Gold_Passenger_5879
Poor Pooch
"He would always leave his dog for too long and she would s**t on the floor. It was an old dog and I'm sure at one point it wasn't an issue. The problem was this guy didn't even try to do anything to fix the issue. I'd get home from work every day and walk into a house that punched me in the face with s**t smell when I opened the door."
"We talked to him about it over and over again and he'd just blow it off. What did he finally do when he got fed up with us complaining? He put the dog down. We just wanted him to maybe come walk her while on break at work. His job was 5 minutes down the road. I can still feel the tension in the room when we found out she was gone."
thephuckedone
The Dealer
"Dealt drugs out of the place. Started to cook something and passed out starting a fire. Didn't pay his share of the rent. Brought a Kalachnikov into the place, dude knew nothing about guns or gun safety. Stole money, a Playstation, and items/food/clothing/money though it took a while to prove it."
"Tried to convince all of us to do drugs with him. Left heroin needles around. One of the roommates was a former heroin addict and he leaned hard on him to try to get him to do heroin again (failed). A couple of us managed to break the lease and GTFO."
"He broke into all of our cars in retribution and threatened us and stalked us after we moved to a new place. He wound up in prison for a year, and when he got out started a fight that ended very badly for him with him in intensive care in a hospital and that was the last I heard of him."
Wereno
No Trades
"My college roommate would lay on our couch all day and night, shirtless, playing online poker and watching sports on the shared TV. He mooched everything. Stole my food, alcohol, weed, etc. He didn't work, he was just always there. I would hangout at the neighbor's house mostly because it was so annoying and obnoxious. He'd wonder over late at night when we'd all be drunk and try to trade my food, alcohol, etc. for things at my friend's house right in front of me."
dahoth
Thief
Spring Break Drinking GIF
Giphy
"Forged a check while I was away and drained my bank account. Spent it on cocaine and airfare to the Caribbean. That was 23 years ago, no one has seen or heard from him since."
andS0NS
Oh the pot issue. Stoners really need to live together. Nothing against it, but you know what I'm saying.
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The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
