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People Who Sleep In A Different Bed Than Their Partner Explain Their Reasoning

Two beds in bedroom
Photo by Michal Balog on Unsplash

There are some things that people get really opinionated about in other people's lives, from how they parent to how they spend their money.

But a big one is how they exist in their relationships, especially if their romantic relationship looks different than the average.

Interested in talking about one key relationship element, Redditor AlarmingBuy4702 asked:

"What are your thoughts about couples that live separately or sleep in separate bedrooms with different bathrooms?"

Quality of Sleep

"I 100% recommend it. My wife and I started sleeping in separate rooms probably seven years ago. At first, we felt guilty about it, as if there was something wrong with our marriage, but the fact is, we are both light sleepers, and my wife likes to zone out on her phone in bed, which kept me awake, and I would start to get anxious about getting enough sleep."

"I tossed and turned a lot and would keep waking her up, and if I got up to pee at night, she would wake up and have a hard time going to sleep again. We even invested in a king-size bed, which only yielded a marginal improvement in our sleep quality."

"Then someone gave us a queen-sized bed which we put in our guest room, and I started sleeping there, and instantly our quality of sleep and quality of life improved. It took a long time until we told anyone about it because we didn't want to be judged but now, we have made peace with it."

- dirtybadgermtb

Personal Space

"Sometimes it's just comforting to know you have your own space. My sister and her husband have separate rooms, she made her own bedroom up and I've noticed fewer fights between them. She needs her own space and quiet time sometimes and it helps."

"It makes sense to me. Also totally cool that couples share a bed. Whatever works to bring you together and sometimes that is being apart."

- mydogispolly

Health Concerns

"Due to health issues, we both sleep better separately. This doesn’t mean we never sleep together, but if either of us is having trouble sleeping it’s nice to have an option. Regarding bathrooms, so many arguments are avoided by having your own."

- loquacious_avenger

For His Safety

"Thanks to ADHD, my husband basically hosts a dance party in his room every night. Blasting music PLUS the TV on, room set to penguin temperatures, plus he rotates in bed non-stop like a chicken on a rotisserie."

"Separate bedrooms prevent me from murdering him."

- OnlyPaperListens

Misery Loves Company

"A word of warning about the CPAP machines. As they age they get louder. It doesn't bother me, because the noise is in response to my breathing, so it's 'my noise.'"

"But it does bother my wife. So I'm now on my second, after about six years or so. The guy told me that this is normal, and insurance 'paid' for it."

"I've also got occasional restless legs and my wife has some level of insomnia, so I have my old CPAP set up in the guest room for when I 'go for a run" at night and waken her.'"

- phred14

Pandemic Together

"Separate bedrooms 100% saved my relationship during the pandemic. I have a CPAP and we have two bedrooms. During the lockdown, having a private space meant that we could just have that little bit of separation. If we were on top of each other 24 hours for months on end, we would have lost it completely."

"It is odd how during the one time when we were isolated from the world, we needed separation. Human brains are weird. But I think it was more that we needed variation. Where most couples had 'together,' we had a really well-defined 'together' and 'alone.'"

- Vermathorax

TV Troubles

"I dumped a girl because she refused to turn the TV in the bedroom off. If I shut it off after she fell asleep, she'd wake up later and turn it back on."

- Snatch_Pastry

No Ambiguity

"We were worried at first (you know sex life stuff) but found 'visiting' was kinda more fun and definite. You definitely know why your spouse slips into bed with you when you have separate rooms."

- algy888

Opposite Schedules

"My wife and I do this. It originally started because we worked opposite schedules. Absolutely the best thing for our marriage."

"We snuggle in bed together before sleeping, and still have plenty of physical intimacy but at the same time both get to have the best sleep possible we can have in our own beds."

- Muhjigger11998823

At least two blankets

"We never took it so far that we sleep in a different bed, but we sleep with our own blankets and it’s f**king life-changing."

- eyanez13

Different Styles and Preferences

"I sleep in my bed of rocks, with my rock pillow. Only the thinnest sheet or I will wake up drenched in sweat. I'm 6'2, 240, and my gravitational pull would be disastrous for my wife."

"My 5'0 110 pounds wife sleeps in a marshmallow with 7 thousand pillows and 52 cushions, nesting between six duvets, with a room temperature good enough to make bread. It takes me half an hour every morning to dig her up from the softest rubble to get her out of bed."

"I snore. She kicks and elbows like a Muay Thai champion."

"Her bathroom has enough potions and jars that OSHA has written her several warnings. Her shampoos, plural sorely needed, smell like brunch. My bathroom needs, and has, a forced ventilation system large enough that she could easily be sucked into the vents."

"Hope that is enough detail."

- JamesJakes000

Different Needs

"As a petite wife of a large man that could set the bed on fire with his body heat and snores, causing the house to shake, I get it. I love my heating pad, two down comforters, weighted blanket, and three cats."

"We are comfy in our nest and my husband is happy in his, with one sheet and four pillows. However, we compromise and share the master bathroom. It works well, for nearly 50 years!"

- Takilove

Kids Sometimes Included

"My wife and son sleep in one room, and I sleep in another. Mostly started because I snore so badly."

"We're cosleepers. Say what you want, I don't care. We used to all sleep in the same bed but my wife and son used to always wake me up because I snore so badly. I tried sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a while but that just made it harder for them to hit me with pillows."

"Now I sleep in what will be my son's bedroom and it f**king rocks. Pitch black, cold, quiet. I sleep like a baby every night and so do they."

"I miss sleeping in the same room with them but sh*t, sleeping great is worth it."

- A_Naany_Mousse

The Cost of Living

"I have married friends who live in San Francisco and they have their own apartments around the corner from each other. It is cheaper than getting one bigger apartment because of rent control."

"They also have crazy sleep habits that annoy the other. Anyway, they’ve been happily married for 20 years now."

- RequirementRare5014

100% Recommend

"If you have or can create the space, give it a try, it can be amazing. And it doesn't have to mean you don't visit each other's spaces."

"My husband and I frequently do, but spend most nights mostly apart, so we get snuggling time when we want but also my tossing and turning at 1 AM plus his snoring at 3 AM plus my inability to fall back asleep easily plus him being easily awoken plus our necessary early morning starts doesn't turn into 'well, then nobody actually got to sleep.'"

"I forgot how great separate sleeping areas were until we went on vacation recently, but was quickly reminded."

- InannasPocket

While the Redditor who started the conversation may have expected more judgment against couples who do not sleep together, they were pleasantly surprised to see how common these sleeping arrangements are.

Though not everyone may be ready to share where they sleep in relationship to their partner, due to feeling like they'll be judged for it, it seems people at least know that this is an option for them.

People Who Actually Died And Were Revived Share Their Experiences

"Reddit user AlaskaStiletto asked: 'Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?'"

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."


"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."


Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314


"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.