Happy Couples Reveal The Stuff Other Couples Should Try At Least Once
Having a vast array of experiences will immediately broaden your horizons.
So of course, naturally, the next step is to include someone else--perhaps someone who loves you, in those experiences. Looking for a little insight, Reddit user Zydrarc stepped up to the message boards to inquire:
Here are some of the best answers.
Take A Step Back
You don't always have to do something with your SO. Occasionally, doing something completely selfless for them. It is a wonderful way to tie your bond a little stronger.
For my husband, who loved tub baths but would rarely give himself the time to take one, I would set it up for him so that he had to use it. I would get our portable Bose speaker and put on his favorite jazz, then I would start the water running very hot as I knew it would be just right by the time he got in. We didn't have the fanciest bathroom, but with some candles (yes I lit candles for my husband) and some fluffy towels stacked close to the tub, it lent the little room some romantic ambiance. I would turn the lights off, have only candle light, his jazz playing at a comfortable volume, and then I would make him a drink he liked. I made up a butterscotch vodka cocktail just for him, just for these rare occasions, and would have it placed on the edge of the tub. In the water, I would put whatever I knew he liked. Usually, it was scented bath soaps. But when he had been laboring hard at work (which was often in his profession), I would put in epsom salts and a scented oil--something masculine like rosemary, mint, or tea tree.
And then, after telling him it was ready, I would leave him absolutely alone in the tub. I would not bother him for at least 45 minutes to an hour, and then only to ask if he wanted another drink, water warmed, candles relit, music changed.
He gave me so many comforts and so many securities and I always tried to to give equally. He was an amazing husband; I always found joy in giving to him those things that I knew he loved but would not do for himself.
Take Life Less Seriously
Here's some my girlfriend and I do. I think we're really dumb together, and I love it:
- Go to an art museum and make up facts about art pieces / paintings together. Just try to make each other laugh at your ridiculous made-up facts. The more boring or crazy the museum (MOMA in NY is good), the better
IKEA date. Role play in each scenario. One of our best dates!
- Draw together. We're both not into museums, but we went and just drew together.
Swaddle your girlfriend with a giant blanket. She LOVED this and actually fell asleep..
- Give each other massages. She loves my back massages.
Shower together. Problem with this is that our shower is kind of small, so she doesn't enjoy it as much.
- Lie on top of each other. She especially likes it when I lie on top of her. She says she likes the weight l o l
Take cliche/corny photos together. We were "inspired" by this image, and we took a photo of us shopping in Trader Joes, her holding my hand, and me holding the Trader Joes bag.
- Go to the animal shelter together and pet some cats! It really helps that we both love animals.
Sometimes I would wrap myself into a burrito/banana, and I would exclaim to her "PEEL ME". And she would reluctantly come over, peel me, and start laughing when she gets rid of her poker face.
In general, just take life less seriously! Make jokes. Make each other laugh. Entertain each other. Life is better with a SO :)
Fire training. It's where you flop down over them (ideally while they are laying in bed) pretending to have passed out due to smoke inhalation, and it's their responsibility to both escape from under you and move you to safety. Ideally performed by yelling "fire training!" and then flopping without any additional warning. Don't explain it ahead of time. Fires don't explain themselves.
It's initially met with much resistance, so a key is to remain motionless and mute. Really commit to the role of someone who has passed out. Get them to realize that the only way they can get up is if they move you themselves, and then they find the motivation.
Bonus: you're safe in the event of a real fire.
This American Life
When on long car rides together, listen to podcasts that teach you something or which discuss some sort of controversial topic. My wife and I will listen to things like Radio Lab, 99% Invisible or This American Life while on long car rides. Quite often we will pause the show to discuss our thoughts on the show's topic. This has led to many great hours of interesting, intelligent conversation between us where we have gotten to learn a lot about each other and the point of view we have on many things in the world. It's a great bonding tool, plus you learn some nifty cool sh-t along the way.
My fiancée like to "steam roll" me when we are laying down. She just rolls over me and pretends she is crushing me. Always makes me smile
The Little Things
I tuck her into bed at night. I have every night for 14 years...it's not just a tuck-in. I climb in, we laugh and talk, I kiss her goodnight and make sure she is snug...
We're both adults yes but it's important to me that she sleeps well and I feel like doing this reminds her that I love her, will always love her, so she can sleep sound...
Trust The Studies
Learn something new together. Whether it be a foreign language, how to make sushi, knit, paint, etc.
Studies show that the feel good chemical is released when you are learning something new and when you learn with someone you subconsciously associate feeling good with that person. So, not only do you learn something new (which is a confidence builder in itself) you bond with your SO on a deeper level.
Two things I've done:
- If you have a truck or know someone who does, blow up an air mattress in the back of it. Load it up with pillows and blankets, grab something nice but easy to eat and drive somewhere random and rural. Lay out under the stars and watch a movie together. Bonus points if you live somewhere cold (me Edmonton AB Canada) and make it so you're defying nature by being warm.
- I took my girlfriend kayaking during a super harvest blood moon (real thing look it up). I bought an Indian food buffet which is not the easiest thing to eat on kayaks. We lined up our kayaks and put a piece of plywood across our laps. This kind of held us together as we drifted around the lake at sunset while eating the spread of wonderful Indian food. Wine was obviously a necessity as well.
Play tabletop games. The amount of couples who both enjoy 'games' but never try any tabletop games outside the usual realm of childhood games that are all terrible astounds me. Even something super quick / simple like love letter can be amazing when it comes to drumming up conversation. It seems like a lot of people think your choices are either monopoly or dungeons and dragons; I can't recommend looking into other options enough! Not only are tabletop games better to talk over than tv/video games, but it makes your house super fun to visit too. Our collection is big enough at this point that we can find a game even non-gamers enjoy easily.
Don't miss out on the cooperative games that you can win/lose together with either, I suggest Pandemic (though it is a tad on the heavier side, especially compared to things like love letter). Carcassonne is easily one of our favorites, the base game is very easily to understand but there are many small expansions that can make the game deeper / keep it interesting. Awesome game for half-playing half-talking as well.
The Things You Do
Conquer a fear together.
For my husband and I we both had a deathly fear of white water rafting.
It brings you closer together, teaches valuable communication skills, and is a memory you can cherish well into your old age.
Watch a documentary, take a class, experience something new, travel.
It's fun while it's happening, and great to talk about later on.
Worm racing - you both lie face down on the ground by the front door, with your hands in your pockets, and race to the other end of the house, on your bellies, like worms.
I'm 41, my wife turns 40 next month, we have a worm race probably once a month when the kids are elsewhere.
Go on a road trip. Road trips are so much fun with the right person, and I think it's also an important relationship milestone. How do you cope when you miss the exit, or you feel sick because he insisted on stopping somewhere that had all you can eat chicken and waffles.
Hide and go seek inside the house with all the lights turned off and loud music. It's fun, active, and after a couple drinks can be quite sexy.
The Couples That Bathe Together, Stay-the Together
Been with my wife for 17 years (dating and married combined) and we make time to shower together everyday. It's our time away from the kids where we get to talk about our day. I wash her body sometimes, she gets me sometimes. It's our way of staying connected. We get weird looks from other couples we know that find out we do this for some reason.
Lava boat. While you're laying in bed together start acting like the bed is getting hot, "Do you feel that?" "Oh my god, thats crazy" "You can't feel that?" And then you climb on top of her to get off/out of the lava and use her as a lava boat. Lay on top of her while you're both prone and try to get completely off the bed. Arms, legs, everything because the bed is lava.
Once you're fully off of the lava, tell her that the bed is lava and she's your lava boat. If she pushes you off act like you're burning until she lets you back on. Boys can be lava boats too, anybody can. All you need is pretend lava. Lava Boat, tell your friends.
Go shopping at 3 a.m. There are a some 24 hour big box stores in our area, and a couple times we've wound up running errands in the wee hours. It's surreal to drive through the dark, empty streets and arrive at a huge fluorescent oasis with no windows that feels exactly the same as it would at noon. You also get to see what other kinds of weirdos are doing their shopping at 3 a.m.
Lay in bed watching a thunderstorm. We live in Phoenix so rain is rare. We do get nice monsoons from time to time and we had the best time talking and watching the rain and lightning.
Have You Seen The Way They Kiss In The Movies?
Have a gimmick date (tunnel of love, drinking from the same milkshake, walk down the beach barefoot holding hands, eating from the same strand of a spaghetti noodle until you kiss, etc.), and make fun of how cliche it is while secretly enjoying every second of it.
Lose weight together. We were fat most our lives and never succeeded in losing the weight on our own. Then I dragged him into my last attempt. We held each other accountable, we kept each other motivated, we researched together, we forced each other to buy new clothes that fit, ect. We each lost 100 pounds. It was awesome. We've been able to keep it off too. I've gained a bit back recently because of hormone replacement therapy, but I'm back on track. It's nothing compared to being back at 250+ pounds and being tired all the time. I'm barely in overweight territory right now. He's keeping me accountable, which I need. We fail a hell of a lot less together.
The Secret Slime Action
My ex and I would play this game where she would pretend she was a slug and she would drag her belly all over me. It was such a stupid and silly thing to do. She called it Slime Time. I don't miss her at all, but I do miss Slime Time... It's super fun. I highly recommend everyone play Slime Time!
If you're both in contact with your families/have nice childhood memories I suggest watching home videos of each other together. Saw my SO in a middle school production of a musical and I've never loved her more. She told me everything she remembered about it and how much fun she had. It was so sweet. It's also a great way to share memories of family members important to you who have passed away, but who you wish you could introduce your SO to.