Chefs Break Down The Red Flags They Look For While Selecting A Restaurant
What's the sign of a great restaurant? Well, the most likely to know are the professionals. Reddit user ballinlikemyname wanted to know how the rest of us home cooks should select our next dinner date location.
ballinlikemyname asked:
"Chefs, what do you look for when you select a restaurant to dine at?
Not only did people share their red flags, but also how they know a restaurant is going to be good.
Here's some helpful hints from professional chefs and food industry workers to help you pick your next meal.
Go to places you could never recreate the menu.
"My dad was a professional chef his entire life. As a kid if we went out to eat, he would never want to go somewhere he could do himself. IE steakhouses, pub food, seafood, etc."
"He would want to go somewhere that would be difficult for him to cook authentically, so we frequented a lot of ethnic restaurants."
"This also was vice-versa. He cooked me Thai food once or twice at home but didn't like doing it because he knew he'd never be able to accurately recreate it like a Thai restaurant."
- patlaska
"This is why Olive Garden is such a sh!tty casual restaurant. I'm no chef but I can make pasta better than they make there for next to free with my eyes closed."
"My mac N Cheese also blows the pants off of any I've ever had ever."
"My favorite go-to place is this local Irish breakfast place. I don't have time or energy to make fresh hollandaise sauce, poached eggs, or corn beef hash at 8am."
Cleanliness was a reoccurring theme in the answers to this question.
Never thought to look there.
"Number 1 red flag is the spouts on the soda fountain. Those things are one of the easiest things to clean in the entire place, so if they're mildewy that kills my interest in eating there. I'm fine with a bit of mess elsewhere, especially in a high volume place since it will get messy over the course of the day. But those spouts take multiple days of no washing to get to a point where they are noticeably disgusting."
- wejivedc
"As a former chef, cleanliness and appearance of staff. If any one thing visible to the public that would be easy to clean is dirty, chances are the kitchen is dirty. The appearance of the dishes and utensils as well. There is a specific way that the dishes should look and even smell if they have been cleaned properly. When the machine is not being run correctly, the dishes will have a specific stale water smell to them and there will be a coating on them. The more basic and streamlined the menu, the more likely your food will be fresh due to frequent replenishment. Washrooms are an indiction of cleanliness as well."
This was surprising.
"When I was food service manager at a large company I asked the health inspector where she ate. She said fast food because their cleanliness rules were more stringent than regular restaurants."
- beadsis
"A mom and pop restaurant? Yeah, held to no standards but whatever they choose to set. A multinational fast food chain? You can bet corporate has a book of health rules that each store has to follow."
"But here's the thing, coming from an insider in the fast food business: health inspectors, private health auditors, corporate giving the public the appearance that everything is being cleaned - it's all a sham. I'm a cook and I've been told to cook up rotting meat before. Our line cooler was broken so the manager told us to put everything on ice, which isn't going to keep a pan full of chopped steak cold. Our line freezer also breaks down a lot so sometimes we serve thawing frozen-to-fried product to all our customers as well. Dishes don't get sanitized properly."
"Dumb teenagers don't change their gloves after hand placing raw chicken on the grill. Raw meat gets panic thawed in hot water. Everything is held to lesser standards until it's announced that the health auditor is making the rounds. At my previous job, a manager dropped food on the floor and still served it because she was afraid of the customer getting mad for having to wait for a new one."
People Share The 'Dirty Secrets' That Their Bosses Don't Want Customers To Know
There's a lot businesses hope their customers believe, and there are many business practices you wouldn't dare believe. These are some of the secrets Reddit ...This chef has a check list.
"Clean. Bathrooms should look & smell clean. Run my fingers under the edge of the table/bar, no gum and no grit. Clean glasses and cutlery (amazing how many places don't do this... Here's looking at you place I went to in Manhattan where the server licked his fingers and tried to rub/scrape dried orange pulp off the lip of my glass and then give it back to me). And if the entrance is dirty then everything is dirty."
"Menu that I feel is manageable at a good quality for the type of restaurant."
"Social media - a few places have ended up on my eat it list because of their instagrams and such. Hell yes I'll check out your cafe if you post pictures of drool worthy croissants. Showing off your meat locker is a good way to make me interested in what I might dismiss as a run-of-the-mill steakhouse."
"Reasonably busy - everywhere has off days/nights, but if a place is never busy there's probably a reason and that reason is likely that it's not a great restaurant."
"Industry friend recommendations. Reputation goes a long way - someone I trust says it's good? I'll check it out."
Keep it simple.
"A restaurant that does just a few things well. I don't need a place that serves burgers AND eggs Benedict AND seafood AND pasta AND meatloaf, etc."
"The problem is there probably isn't enough turnover to get all that stuff out in a timely manner, so some ingredient might be past it."
"I am particularly picky about seafood. The odds that those fried clams are fresh in a diner, for example? Not great. They've either been sitting there for a while or are frozen."
Avoid the mayo based salads.
"I was a chef. I've since moved on from the industry, but I'll eat anywhere. Clean or dirty, busy or slow, working in the kitchen took a lot of those judgements out of my head. It might be great, it might be terrible, but you never know unless you try. Some of the best food I've ever had has come from places you'd least expect."
"So I'd pick whatever is close and I haven't tried yet."
"Oh, and avoid mayo based salads. They have low turnover. That applies to everywhere no matter how fancy."
The menu can tell you a lot about the quality of the food.
"A menu thats max 2 sides - places with long book like menus are guaranteed to be using frozen/microwave stuff."
"Unless those are 25 combinations made with 5 different meats and 5 different sauces (typical of some Asian restaurants)."
- RNBQ4103
Sometimes a line is a good sign.
"I think the answer is pretty well known: open so late it's early, full of other chefs because that's the place they've always congregated."
- scolfin
Check with the server.
"If you ask the server what they recommend, and they're hesitant, you may as well just get up and leave."
"They know what's fresh/good and not. They know if nothing is."
- nessie7
Big takeaways include short menus, long lines, try something new, keep it simple, but above all else: make sure the place is clean.
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People Explain Which Fast Food Restaurants They Refuse To Eat At
Reddit user Feisty_Affect_7487 asked: 'What is one fast food restaurant you will never go to?'
Fast food is a staple in most households. While not the healthiest option our there, the food is always good, and it's a great option when you need something fast or in a pinch.
There are dozens of fast food places out there, and everyone has a favorite. My brother and I go to Wendy's once a week, and while we'll eat at other places when we have to, we don't like any place better than Wendy's.
With everyone having a favorite fast good restaurant, everyone also has a least favorite. Redditors are sharing which fast food restaurants they hate so much, they refuse to eat at them.
It all started when Redditor Feisty_Affect_7487 asked:
"What is one fast food restaurant you will never go to?"
Health Code Violation?
"Sonic. Got served rotten dairy, then got called a lying f**king b*tch by the manager. I wasn't even asking for money back since I was already out of town. Just called to warn them that it was rotten."
– Apprehensive-Air8917
"Welp might as well add the time I got a chili dog from Sonic and noticed a strange color on the side while looking at, only to pick it up and reveal that the entire underside of the bun was covered in blue mold. How the f**k does a person not notice that before it gets out the window?"
– GDMFusername
"Me eating my chicken tenders from Sonic while reading this"
"oh."
– burnt_seawing_the2nd
Employee Horrors
"Sonic- I worked there, the hotdogs/chilly have a chance of being 2+ days old, same with the gravy. You also better hope someone taught an employee how to clean the ice cream/ slushy machines. If not, you might have a similar story to mine. When I was new, they were training us at an old sonic, so we would go work at a new one. The manager was also 'new' to that area and was heading to the new one."
"So one day, he decided it was time to clean the ice cream machine and asked one of the employees from there to teach us. They didn't know how, so he went around asking, and no one who worked there knew how to clean it. So he gathered us around to teach us, he shut down the machine and opened it up. A cascade of ice cream mix and maggots came pouring down. The machine was apparently crushing the maggots as it mixed the ice cream. He cleaned the slushy machine the next day, but I wasn't there to see it, I just heard it wasn't pretty."
– petty_witch
"I have a similar story about the Dairy Queen I worked at."
"There was a little drainage channel built into the machine, so melted soft serve could go to the floor grate. This was predictably never cleaned, and soon enough - maggots."
"Owner was informed, and he just said "use bug spray" (which would, of course, have gotten into the ice cream...). Manager rushed over from their other restaurant and desperately tried to clean it with a pipe cleaner, then threatened to fire anyone who spoke a word about it."
"Fun times."
– joefred111
"when you pay like sh*t and cut corners at every opportunity then yeah youre gonna have employees who barely keep it together, if at all."
"I used to run a DQ. Busiest one in the entire region. I was routinely by myself, 7am to well into the night. Towards the end I was getting 130 hours a week in a salaried position. I was *sleeping at the restaurant* it was so bad. The moment I left "oh we'll give you whatever you want!!!" like no dude it's two years too late"
– verdenvidia
"I'm never getting fast food ice cream ever again what the F**K"
– 4ps22
Ew. Just...Ew.
"Jack in the Box restaurant I used to go to almost weekly while working overnights was closed down due to spider infestation of the breading for fried chicken..."
– Tzokal
"In the early 1990s an e-coli outbreak was traced to Jack in the Box. It killed four children, and something like 700 or 800 people got sick. Never eaten there since then."
– Schmliza
What It Turned Into
"Panera is over priced cardboard portrayed as food, blech."
– criket2016
"I would like to apologize for the greed of a once great company called St. Louis Bread Co., nationally known now as Panera Bread. When they started in St. Louis, it truly was different and very good. Mass production does this to most great food. As a St. Louisan who used to love St. Louis Bread Co and even worked there for a short time, I apologize for what they have become."
– Roach55
"I had the weirdest, dumbest experience at a Panera in Portland, Oregon, about ten years ago. I went there under the impression it was going to be good. It was bland and overpriced, but didn't stand out as anything other than kind of mediocre. But the customer service was AWFUL. Legitimately, just the worst. The gal that took my order was needless rude, even though we were polite and tipped generously, and then when I tried to use their restroom and found it was locked, the manager stormed out of her office and yelled at me, saying that I had to be escorted in and out of the bathroom and couldn't just do my business in peace. She marched me to the restroom, stood guard outside and then walked me back to me table after like we were in a prison yard. It was so bizarre and humiliating. I never went back and left them some rock bottom reviews."
"They were near a MAX station, so that's probably why they were so edgy about the bathroom use, but if I actually were a homeless person I think I just would have peed on their floor rather than putting up with kthat kind of treatment."
– Bonbonnibles
Rue The Day
"Every year or two I give Burger King another chance and I always regret it. Can't imagine ever going back."
"Can't remember the last time I've been to a KFC... maybe 5-6 years?"
– ButtholeQuiver
"Burger King used to at least have really good fries but something changed in the last decade or so. I've been there maybe twice in the last five years and regretted each time lol."
– WritingTheDream
Decades Without
"Kentucky Fried Chicken. Food poisoning at 2 different locations during college. I've made it 3 decades not going back."
– bmtri
"Agree. Those mashed potatoes gotta come from a box. Bleh."
– Who-took-my-abs
"I worked there for a month in 1998. Haven't eaten it since."
– g_pelly
"i’ve heard so many stories in my life of people getting food poisoning after eating kfc, that i’ve just never tried it"
– daylightcoke
"I loved KFC as a kid. I took my kids once about 2 yrs ago. It was inedible."
– mykittenfarts
Inflation Is Real
"Subway."
"It's all just awful and I have a proper sandwich shop the same distance in the other direction."
– Jonny2284
"I went last week after about a 6-7 year absense. The $5 foot longs were $12 and $13!?!"
– High_Jumper81
A Complete Mess
"I'm done with mcdonalds. Sh*ts not cheap anymore and the food is always trash. That's if you even get the right order"
– Deceiver999
"The one near me has forgotten items EVERY time I order on the app. I honestly think they’re trying to scam people and they just hope you don’t walk inside and ask them to fix it"
– taco3donkey
An Interesting Cure
"First time I ever went to White Castle/Crystal it ended with me sh*tting my brains out for an hour. Never again"
– blackmobius
"I mean, they call 'em sliders for a reason. :V"
– Funkette
"My grandfather literally gets White Castle when he’s constipated for this reason."
– helloxcthulhu
Remember The Good Old Days?
"Pizza Hut pizza is atrocious now."
– Carmaca77
"Pizza Hut was done the minute they switched to those god awful frozen dough disks and not fresh made like it used to be."
– thedeadbeatclubsc
"It started going downhill 25 years ago. As a kid in the 70's it was great, and not because I was a kid at a pizza place, but because you would sit down at a red-checkered table cloth, a server would greet you nicely. And the place was clean. Now it feels like you're going into a money laundering front with angry servers and everything is sticky and smells like dirty socks."
– BaconReceptacle
Food Isn't The Only Thing That Matters
"Popeyes."
"The food is great. The service is just absolute garbage. There are always missing items from my order. Coke machine always broken. I refuse to go there anymore. I've been to several locations in San Antonio and they all the same."
– starshame2
"A Popeye's opened up in the town I used to live in and I went there for lunch one day. Pretty much got yelled at for coming and they basically threw my food at me. It was fire, though."
– coombuyah26
"Pretty sure it’s a company policy to have sh*tty service. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something as consistent country wide as bad service at Popeyes."
– BustyUncle
I'm starting to think maybe fast food shouldn't be a staple.
Who doesn't love a great television show?
Truly great storytelling has come from that little home entertainment box.
But there is something to be said about staying too long at the party.
Too many fabulous shows have had their legacies tainted by not bowing out sooner.
Staying on the air too long tends to lead to ludicrous plots that ruin everything.
And so many shows have tanked by ludicrous plot twists that just ruin everything.
Maddie and David shagging on 'Moonlighting.'
Bobby Ewing's death a dream on 'Dallas.'
All of 'ER' after Clooney's departure.
The list of grievances is endless.
Redditor rayray1010 wanted to hear about the ways TV has been destroyed, so they asked:
"What single plot decision ruined a good television series?"
Break Out
prison break GIFGiphy"Prison Break was a great concept for a show. But then once they broke out of prison they kept making the show."
Se7enLC
"Fox doesn't know when to cancel a show. They either go for a season or two too long or they get canceled too early."
bangbangracer
Too Weird
"Deb being in love with Dexter. I don't know what they were thinking."
wilmontcm
"It was kind of pointless. If they brought it up in the first place, they should've run with it. Then, on their wedding day, Debra finds Dexter's slides."
"I can hear her now 'I was getting ready to marry my brother, but now I find out he's a f**king serial killer!!'"
GrandUnhappy9211
"Came looking for this. Weirdest plot choice ever."
RateNXS
Grievances
"We could fill this entire comment section with GoT grievances :/ "
DIWhy-not
"Season eight singlehandedly took one of, if not the most talked about shows at the time and made collapse into pop culture oblivion! Not a single person I knew or interacted with wasn't watching 'Game of Thrones,' I swear every other conversation looped back to that show eventually, but after S8 no one gave a sh*t about it."
Enganeer09
"There were so many, and this is so unpopular opinion, but Dany and Jon falling in love was just boring. I hope GRRM avoids it but I guess the chance for that is low. I mean, the chance he ever finishes another book for the series is low."
sharksarenotreal
Over It
"The Blacklist writers almost cruelly withholding answers from the audience year after year after year."
zsal830
"I gave up when Liz died and Dembe became an FBI agent, and the show was already dying before that for me. I loved watching James Spader's acting, but it got to the point that even that wasn't enough to keep me involved. I've heard it's in the final season now, so once it's over I'll just Google the ending and that's good enough for me."
Bobisburnsred
Bad Changes
Episode 3 GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy"Misfits when they started getting rid of the main characters from season 1."
discostud1515
"The second the group changed the show lost what made it great."
legend_forge
That show was delightfully strange and certainly fit its title.
Cast shake-ups can really zap a show of its magic... especially when the show itself is about super powers.
Oh Luke
season 4 netflix GIF by Gilmore Girls Giphy"When they revealed Luke had a child he didn't know about in Gilmore Girls."
writtenrain
"Like I feel bad because she’s a kid, but I hate April. Such a terrible plot device. There was plenty going on without her coming into the picture."
helloitstessa
Stop at the beginning
"When they left the park in Westworld."
Indian_Bob
"Unfortunately the writers were very keen to write a commentary on AI in society, and thus drove it in a direction, which as a show in itself is interesting, but went a lot further than the source material in this regard. There were two shows there and neither was done justice."
IHaveHivesWithBees
"I think Season 1 is one of the best shows ever made. It has everything: characters, story ark, riddle, and its closure and very good (just a bit open) ending. Other seasons are just an attempt of producers to milk the story and Id rather pretend they don’t exist."
techlogger
Too Soon
"Sherlock f**ked up by killing Moriarty too early."
"Andrew Scott's performance was so great that they then had to keep trying to shoehorn the already dead Moriarty into later plots or end up with the travesty that was the last series with Sherlock's even smarter sister, who secretly cooked up everything with Mortiarty, just so they could have more Moriarty scenes."
"The whole show went from top-class Peak TV to absolute dogs**t in a slow decline that started with the poor Doylist decision to kill Jimbo."
Histary_Studentary
A Re-Work
"The overall seventh season of Once Upon a Time. It should have been reworked in its entirety."
StillAnIntrovert
"I agree with that. Another bad point was when they made Emma the Dark One when they literally just introduced Lilly, who had the saviors' darkest potential."
"That could have been an epic villain as 'The Dark Savior.'" Also, them constantly having Rumple and Belle get back together. He was power-driven and would always put her second. I loved it in season 4 when she finally realized that and banished him from Storybrooke."
Electrowhatt19
Many of these franchises jumped the shark, as they say.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments
Family relationships are already complex, but the involvement of in-laws and an adult relationship take the dynamics of family to a whole other level.
But if someone's spouse were to tragically pass away, they'd have to decide what the future of their family would look like, and whether or not they'd want their in-laws, who'd technically then be disconnected, to stay in the picture.
Redditor TLMoore93 asked:
"If your spouse passed away, would you maintain a relationship with your in-laws? Why or why not?"
Putting Grandchildren First
"Yes, so they could continue to have a relationship with their grandchild."
- CharsOwnRX-78-2
"Absolutely this. In addition, I trust my in-laws alone with my child more than I trust my father, to the extent I have listed custody arrangements in my will. In-laws definitely go before my dad in the custody line."
"I have every expectation that in the event of the worst, they would absolutely still be there for me and my child."
- nutbrownrose
Avoiding Family Drama
"Two of my in-laws don't get along (his sibling and one of his parents). My husband has already told them basically, 'Don't be a**holes if I'm dying.'"
"He does have a disease that can but isn't guaranteed to end his life earlier than average ... anything can happen. We are in our 30s, he was told he wouldn't live past his teens. He's good right now, all things considered."
"That being said, I can fully see my Mother-in-Law either being an angel or a thorn in my side if he passes before she does. Hope it's the former."
"Either way, I know what he wants, and that's no drama or disrespect... but if someone's being an a**hole, he doesn't want to be involved. So I'd be following that."
- Satansrainbowkitty
The Best Relationships
"Yes, they're nicer than my parents."
- Lowflyin
"My mother-in-law is nicer than my mom, anyway. No way I wouldn't be there for her, she's worked so hard to provide for my Fiancé, no way I could not keep her in my life."
- Thrilling1031
The Support System
"I know I've become a better person as an adult so I'm probably easier to get along with now, but the immediate acceptance and love I received from my fiance's family just endeared them to me a million times more than anything I've felt for my own family."
"He has also encouraged me to be closer to my own, which is great."
- Danceswithunicornz
Under Their Wing
"The second I started dating their son, my in-laws took me in and treated me like one of their own. I didn't know what a kind, loving family or parents were really like before, experiencing it was a huge revelation."
"I would absolutely maintain a relationship with them, and I know they would want the same."
- McMew
"My partner’s parents did the same with me. To feel unconditional parental love for the first time was surreal."
"My partner passed away five years ago and I am still close with his mom especially, she brings me so much comfort and I am so happy we have continued our relationship. We desperately needed each other in the early days of our grief and now I don’t think either of us could imagine it any other way."
- arrwine
A Close Bond
"We aren't married (yet) but I refer to my boyfriend's parents as my in-laws. And in turn, they introduce me to others as their daughter-in-law. My boyfriend's mom is my best friend. I absolutely love her to bits. We hit a rough patch a couple of years ago and she took me for coffee to talk about it and assured me that even if the worst happened, she would always be there for me and in my life whether he liked it or not, because she loves me."
"I didn't know what a real family was supposed to be like until I met them either. For my 18th birthday, the first birthday I spent with him, my boyfriend asked me what I wanted to do, and I had never really celebrated my birthday since I was a child because we either couldn't afford it or my mom and I were fighting over one thing or another."
"He knew this because I told him. So, on my birthday my boyfriend picked me up, took me to McDonald's to get a McFlurry, then took me to Dominos to pick up the pizza he ordered for us."
"When we got to his house, his mom had most of the lights off and she was standing in the kitchen with a cake, candles lit, and a gift bag on the counter. They started singing happy birthday when I walked in. To say I cried is an understatement. They have done this every single year since then."
"Christmas is regularly celebrated in my family because we save up for it. But man, that first Christmas I spent with my boyfriend, I cried again because when I got to his mom's house there was a stocking with my name on it and it was full. His whole family got me gifts."
"I wasn't prepared that year, but the next year I went ALL out on gifts for him and his family. His mom includes me in absolutely everything. And when I can't make it to something, I know d**n well she'll be phoning me on her drive home to tell me all about it and give me all the gossip.
- Burnt_Your_Toast
Together Through Grief
"My wife died, in my arms, on May 13th of cancer complications. Her dad called me last night to check in on me and her mom called the day before for the same reason. I call them Mom and Dad, and they will be that for the rest of my life."
- Cubbycupcake-Uther
"I'm so very sorry for your loss. We found out on May 25th that my wife has brain cancer. No cure... just have to treat it and deal with it as long as possible. I have been an absolute mess inside, but trying to hold it together for my two boys. She is the eternal optimist of the family and is ready for whatever comes next. We find out the biopsy results tomorrow."
"Her family is my family, and I know that we will have each other."
"I hope that you are ok and that you can find some peace. This is the worst. If there's anything I can take from this, it is that I will never waste a day... or the opportunity to help someone that needs it. My circle has been amazing, but I know not everyone has that."
- daddyboi83
Chosen Family is Forever
"My oldest sister passed away in 1989 before I was born in 1994. My whole life I've had this guy named Vince in my family. He's the nicest, sweetest, and funniest dude and has always been like a really fun uncle to me."
"He basically lived with my parents for years after my sister died. My Dad took him in as his pseudo son and even after he started dating this wonderful woman years later he would still come on family vacations with us."
"He asked my dad permission to marry his new girlfriend back in the 90s as a sign of respect. Of course, he said yes."
"Unfortunately two years ago or so she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and today her condition is getting worse and worse to the point he can't leave the house anymore."
"He has experienced unimaginable pain for a man to now go through what is essentially two deaths of wives in his life. Again, he's the nicest guy ever, and the positivity he's always carried about himself."
"But yes, if you have a good relationship with in-laws, keep it. Chosen family is forever."
- nightmarenarrative
On the Flip Side
"Absolutely not. I would never talk to them again. They are horrific people."
- Disastrous-Phase-797
"Although mine aren't horrific, they are definitely not my favorite people in the world. I have little to no interaction with them now so having no interaction at all sounds wonderful."
- tjcline09
Inhospitable Environment
"I would totally cut them out of my life. They are horrible people who think only of themselves."
"They've ruined every holiday, birthday, and special occasion where I've included them."
"This is my second marriage and I'm closer to my first in-laws than these posers. I only tolerate them occasionally for my husband but basically, I avoid them now."
- Ihavethebestdogs
Family Heritage
"I would. I like my wife's parents and extended family, and they'd certainly want to know how our son is doing."
"On top of that, my wife's side of the family is African-American, and I feel like my son should have some sort of connection to that heritage."
- Nihiliste
Positive Connections
"Not passed away, but I got divorced almost 20 years ago and still see my former MIL and SIL when they're in town. And I stay with them when I'm in their town. Love them!"
- alert_armidiglet
The Conflicted Answers
"I don't know. I really like my in-laws and consider them family, but aside from the fact that I married their daughter, we have no common ground. I think hanging out with them would ultimately just be painful."
- Anakin_Skywand
"That's what I am thinking. I would totally keep in contact with them, especially because my nephews from her side would be even more confused if I wouldn't visit anymore, and I love them, but I cannot picture how you can continue life if you stay too close to them."
"Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do when my wife passed all of a sudden. Besides losing my grandparents when I was 18, I have never faced a tragic loss and have no idea how I would react."
- ZedsDeadZD
Unconditional Love
"Today is actually my 5-year angeliversary."
"I do keep in contact with her family, and they have been my family for 19 years before she passed away."
"They are still my brothers and sisters. They are still my children's aunts and uncles, and grandmother."
"I still love them like I always have."
- ericstott
The Grandparent Connection
"I'm not widowed but divorced. I made sure my son, who decided on no contact with his dad, kept in touch with his paternal grandmother. We went to visit her at Christmas and her birthday, which is more than my ex did."
"No reason why she should miss out on a grandson entirely, just because we were not together anymore."
- yonthickie
While it's difficult to imagine what life would be like without our favorite loved one in our lives, it might be even more complicated to think of how the surrounding relationships would change.
There were some who saw those relationships dissolving immediately, but others felt they'd lean into these relationships more, accepting the support any of us would desperately need during such a time.
We're living in an age where single people more time scrolling through dating apps and chatting with strangers than engaging with them in person.
And while they think they know enough about a prospective date based on their chat history, finally meeting up with them on a first date can still come with a variety of surprises.
One of two things can happen.
Either love seekers strike immediate chemistry or they find that the person with whom they shared a love connection online turns out to be a major misconnection.
Curious to explore what doesn't work on a first date for strangers online, Redditor hometattoo asked:
"What is your first date dealbreaker?"
Some people don't understand the art of conversation.
So One-Sided
"Bad conversation when you feel like getting more than a 2 word answer out of them is like pulling teeth."
– Thealmightyfug
Conversation Hog
"When they try to dominate the conversation and make everything about themselves while cutting you off."
– Alteredego619
Worst Top 5
"I went out with a girl who asked me if I had done something like, for example, surfed in Hawaii. I said 'no,' then she went on to tell me about what she did for about 20 minutes. Then another question, followed by another 20-minute story. Went on like this for a while till I lied and said 'yeah.' I started to make up a story when she cut me off and started another story. Top 5 of my worst first dates."
– babe_ruthless3
When phones are more interesting than you, it's time to move on.
Games
"Playing on their phone."
– bumliveronions
*clash royale intro plays*
– tykkebellis
Taking The Call
"Many years ago before the advent of smartphones I had a date with this lady who 5 minutes into dinner got a phone call and then proceeded to spend the next 1.5 hours talking on her phone and ignoring me. So I ate my food tossed 20 on the table and left."
– SomeRandomUser00
Because Priorities
"Playing with phone, cutting me off mid-sentence, saying one word responses like 'ok', 'cool', 'nice.'"
– globroc
These Redditors prefer dating someone who doesn't have kids.
Unexpected Company
"she brings her 3 kids that she failed to tell me about."
– TrailerParkPrepper
"Or bringing 23 relatives to test their generosity."
– color178924
No Single Moms Please
"Yep, it happened more than once. I am a childfree man, and they knew before the date. For the first date, I always prefer a short coffee meet."
"If it is one on one, I cover the bill. When they brought the kids, I always told the waitor to split the bill."
"They always got pissy, were offended, and of course, when I told them that I am not interested, since they knew that I did not date single mothers, they showed their true colours. Vile, toxic, and very vengeful, too."
"It explained why they were single mothers and why those kids were f'ked."
"I tried dating single mothers. 5 times to be exact. It never ended well, and it was never because of the kids."
"3 times they returned to the ex, and twice I was a placeholder holder for the guy they wanted to date, and they waited until he was available."
"I am done getting attached to the kids just to get f'ked over."
"Massive deal breaker now are the kids."
"They also always wanted to get back together with me. After, surprise, surprise, did not work out with the guys they chose. The typical, without fail, manipulation tactic was using their kids, how they miss me, ask about me, and the walk down the memory lane, about nice times we had."
"I always told them they should have thought about it when they decided to break up with me and to never contact me again. I was called a heartless -shole who would die alone because I didn't allow them to manipulate me, and their bullsh*t left me cold."
– The_Story_Builder
Not Part Of The Deal
"Kids are my deal breaker too. I am not about to be a stepmother and I am not interested in dating someone who has kids ... I just don't want it. People should disclose before a first date that they have children.. I just think it's common sense imo. Not everyone wants to be a step-parent."
– kathyanne38
My first date dealbreaker was embarrassingly shallow, but here goes.
Years ago before the advent of Grindr, I met up with a guy I've been chatting with on match.com.
He was a tennis player. Really good-looking, tall dude. We met up for coffee and had a great conversation. Because we were hitting it off, we decided to continue our first date by taking a walk through Washington Square Park since it was a beautiful day and we were right there.
On the way there, I noticed he kept leaning into me as we were walking. I asked him sarcastically if he was trying to nudge me in the direction of his apartment.
That wasn't it. He nervously laughed and told me his left leg was slightly shorter than the other leg, which caused him to walk diagonally sometimes as his weight wasn't equally distributed in his gait.
There was no second date. I know. I loathe myself for having been that vapid at the time.