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People Break Down Their Weirdest Habits

Usually, nobody knows when or why they started to do it. But the strange routine, tendency, or personality quirk surely dug its heels in long ago and shows no signs of going away any time soon.


Many people assumed the habit was normal, just something everybody did and never talked about, like some untapped, relatable example for an observational comic to call on sometime in the future.

But then they had a revelation. Someone, often innocently enough, asked why they did that thing. The question, above all, identified the habit as a thing of its own.

A uniqueness just minor enough to straddle the line between alienating tick and point of pride, the quirk was exposed but doomed to be repeated nonetheless. After all, it was now fully engrained.

The facade of normalcy was destroyed, and the only place to go was a Reddit thread where the other crestfallen weirdos ended up.

BIG_Sensei asked, "Reddit, What's a weird habit of yours you didn't think was weird until someone mentioned it?"

Vampiric Slumbers

"Shared a hotel with a buddy during a trip and he told me I sleep like I'm embalmed... arms crossed, on my back, stiff as a board." -- kukukele

"I do the same thing but sleep on my stomach. I call it reverse coffin." -- kellzyeah__87

"Anytime I travel with friends, my SO reminds me to warn them about my sleeping habits as it's caused some alarm in the past. I don't move, I don't make a sound, and am a very deep sleeper, same position, on my back, arms crossed."

"I've had multiple friends think that I've passed away in my sleep and freaked them right the fuck out." -- AliCracker

Moley

"I sniff every cup before I use it. Don't know why."

"Burrowing in my sleep as well. I have to have my head covered for me to be comfortable. Didn't think it was weird until a college roommate pointed out that he always could tell when I was going to sleep because I just put my pillow or my covers over my head beforehand."

"I've had people come into my room when I'm asleep and thought nobody was there so I guess it's a nice defense mechanism against predators."

-- CinnaSol

"Engage Retraction"

"I sometimes use my tongue like a CD slot when eating chips. Didn't even realise I was doing this until my friend suddenly burst out laughing while we were hanging out." -- Exact_Potato

"I don't quite understand how one uses their tongue like a CD slot." -- SaruCharmed

"You mean catching the chips like a frog would a fly?" -- Maleoppressor

While You're In There

"One day I was taking a shower with my wife and I discover that she washes her underpants in the shower and uses the newly washed underpants as sponge to help to clean her body. I said 'wtf?' and she said that her mom taught her to do that."

"And just like that I found that females on her family have this weird shower tradition."

-- CidVerte

Homeostasis

"Whenever I touch or bump something (especially on accident) I feel like I have to repeat that action on the same spot on the other half of my body. Now it's getting to the point where my brain just does it without consulting me first, and it's gotten me some weird looks/comments." -- Legoleaf125

"Hoooolyyyyy sh** I thought this was just me. I don't do it much anymore but as a kid if I got an itch on my right knee and scratched it, I'd have to scratch the same spot on my left knee or it wasn't 'fair.' " -- icecoldmax

Some Casual Slinkin'

"I sneak up and scare people, unintentionally. I've been given the nickname 'Ninja Nate' because I move in and out of rooms without being detected."

"I close doors quietly. I don't hum, whistle, single, or generally talk when I walk through the house. And I walk so silently that no one can hear my footsteps."

"This has lead to repeatedly scaring people who don't hear me coming, especially when they suddenly turn around or I ask them a question with their back turned to me. I try to get into people's line of sight before approaching them, but inevitably, I will give someone a fright because they didn't see or hear me approaching."

"Sorry to all my friends and roommates that I've surprised over the years - it's something I've picked during my childhood to avoid being seen or heard because I don't want a verbally abusive parent to shout at me for doing something wrong like waking up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

-- yakusokuN8

A Good Way to Identify French Speaking Dogs

"I talk to every animal I meet/see in French (my first language). I don't know why I do this, but someone pointed it out when I met their new dog for the first time." -- whyImcalledqueen

"Maybe because it's how you're most comfortable speaking and animals make you comfortable and bring out your authentic self?" -- forestfluff

"My Dad always talks to any animal like a dog. We were at the zoo once and my dad saw birds and started going... COME HERE BOI PAT PAT PAT COME HERE" -- Agustin42069

The Last Laugh, at Those Prices

"One of my favorite snacks growing up was cold canned green beans. My mom would just open the can and hand me a fork. I continued eating them like that until my sophomore year of university when my roommates just stared at me and pointed out how strange it was."

"I just thought that was the only way to eat green beans."

-- usd2krw

Fly on the Wall

"In a group conversation I sometimes stay silent for literally 30 minutes and start talking again like nothing."

"Realized with quarantine, were I suddenly talk and people get surprised I was still in the voice chat after 15/20/30 minutes of not even a word."

-- Areallyweirdlatino

Pay No Mind to the Interlude 

"Someone will say something to me like at the end of a work shift and I won't respond until the next time I see them and then they've forgotten about the comment they said just because it took me a few hours to process what they meant."

"For example coworker and I were talking about the gym and I said 'yeah you're just as thin' and she replied 'no, I'm round' and it took me the next day to tell her she wasn't round smh"

-- angelarocky

Skin and All

"Eating kiwi fruit with its skin until i saw my friends eating without its skin then i turned on the incognito mode and searched 'how to eat kiwi?'" -- Mahdi_D

"I had a friend who would eat the entire kiwi (skin included) by fitting it entirely inside his mouth, chewing, and swallowing. In about 5 seconds. He'd sometimes take kiwis to eat in class and we were all bewildered" -- but_uhm

Empathy

"If I bump an object into a wall or a table etc. I say 'ouch' for that object. Not sure when I began doing it and obviously I know my toothbrush didn't feel pain when I hit the faucet with it's head but I can't stop myself from saying 'ouch' on the toothbrush's behalf." -- RAVENMADSAINTSFAN

"I apologize to my car whenever it takes a nasty bump, like a pothole or whatever. I pat the center of the steering wheel like oh baby I'm sorry, and then rub the dashboard soothingly to make sure it knows I didnt mean to, it's doing a good job, and that everything is okay." -- nathanielKay

Screaming at Loved Ones

"Apparently I talk too loud. My hearing is rather poor so I never really noticed, and most of my clients are seniors so if anything they're asking me to speak louder. It was only a couple of years ago that a friend mentioned that his partner at the time was scared because of how loud and deep my voice was."

"My whole life I was unknowingly yelling at friends and strangers."

-- mrdeathchicken

Bring it Around Town

"Something I didnt even realize I was doing until someone pointed it out is I eat burgers/other sandwiches in a circle shape. So if I have a burger, I eat all the way around the edges and then do another circle and another until I only have one bite, the very center, left to eat." -- KeeShlab

"I do that too! I like saving the middle bite (which has the most stuff in it) for last." -- GlassAlgae

"You're a monster" -- ravendarklord76

Primitivism

"I sh** nude. Also rarely use public toilets" -- tewchainzzz

"My exboyfriend could only sh** nude. Literally the only way he could sh**. I feel vulnerable and scared if I try to shit nude LOL" -- cymobymo

"Humans are the only mammals that defecate with clothes on I can respect the nude freedom" -- SnakeBaconator

All This Unnecessary Shaking

"I shake milk jugs before pouring a glass or over cereal. I was raised on a dairy farm so it was necessary with fresh milk. Was about 30 before someone asked why and I had to think for a minute before I realized I didn't need to with store bought milk." -- philosophuncultistish

"I shake everything that isn't carbonated. No idea why. Even like bottled water I'll 'shake well' before I open it" -- dackinthebox

"I always shake milk, even if I don't need to. I like the frothiness." -- AROSES524

In Case Anything's Hiding Under There

"I tap the lid of the can three times before I open it when I drink coke/beer/etc."

"I have no idea why I do it or even that I was doing it until I was at a ring dunk and someone handed me a beer and I tapped it and got asked about the habit. They assumed it was for luck so I went with that instead of me being a weirdo."

-- PM_YOUR_PET_PICS979

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Things Left-Handed People Deal With That Right-Handed People Never Do

Reddit user johnnyportillo95 asked: 'What’s something left handed people have to deal with that right handed people wouldn’t even think about?'

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen Giphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPost Giphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIF Giphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...


Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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