Therapy is something we all should have access to.
It's just talking and listening.
But really talking and being listened to.
Therapy has saved so many lives.
There is always something to learn about why we are the way we are.
And that can change the course of everything.
Redditor RIPMexicanTraore was hoping people would be willing to share their 'best of' going to therapy wisdoms. So they asked everyone:
"What is the best thing you have heard/learned from therapy?"
In therapy... I learned I need more therapy.
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"People aren't nearly as concerned about everything I'm doing as I think they are. They're busy enough being self conscious about their own behaviors."
"When you place unexpressed expectations on someone, YOU are the one setting yourself up to be let down."
"It’s not so much about low expectations as it is communicating your expectations."
"Let’s say it’s your first birthday as a couple. You expect your partner to plan a nice romantic getaway with just the 2 of you, and instead they plan a huge surprise party."
"You hate birthday parties, but since you never communicated that to them, they had no idea. So now you are stressed about all the attention, and they are disappointed that all their hard work is unappreciated. You can have high expectations for people, you just need to know that they aren’t mind readers."
"No one sees the version of you that you see of yourself."
"I remember learning about this really neat thought experiment."
"First, think about the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you. Don't think too long or hard, just come up with something."
"Now, think of a close person in your life and imagine the most embarrassing thing that's happened to them."
"The second one takes a lot longer. We all think about ourselves - and critique ourselves - way more than we do to others."
"The brain isn't designed to keep us happy. It's designed to keep us alive."
"We're social creatures. We remember the embarrassing weird crap we've done better than our moments of glory so we can avoid doing that in the future in order to be more socially acceptable."
"I remember some embarrassing crap I did in first grade more than I remember some wonderful moments of this year."
"I still remember getting in the wrong bus in kindergarten and crying for a half hour thinking I'd never see my home again while the driver sorted everything out. Oh maaaaan."
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"Sometimes, when we procrastinate, it's because we need to feel control, even when the only thing we can control is choosing not to do something - even when it contributes to making our situation worse. Took me years to come to terms with that one."
Control is an issue for everyone. We gotta loosen up.
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"Your internal monologue isn’t always reliable, especially when you are anxious or depressed."
"The fact that you are high functioning doesn't mean that your illness is easier for you to deal with, it means it's easier for others to deal with."
"I never thought about it that way."
"I always took some pride in the fact that I always remained as productive as possible no matter. I pretty much have an addiction to productivity because it distracts me from what I feel inside. I chase achievement, I chase greatness, I chase success because I feel it justifies the suffering of being alive."
"And that’s why I’ve been melting down these past few days. I’m at a point where years of hard work going unrewarded and years of almost unhealthily convincing myself to fight and move forward have finally broken me. I’m trying to tell myself to fight. I want to live a life where everyday is not a war for me, but I realize how far fetched it is."
"We seek what is familiar to us, even if it’s really unhealthy. There is a comfort in familiarity because it’s what we know/learned how to deal with."
"When stressed we go to our default setting. No matter how destructive that setting is we will FIGHT to get there."
"This was one of the hardest things for me. Because there is no way to know if you've reset your setting until you're stressed/uncomfortable. And if you find out you haven't its such a blow to your confidence. And the gains you thought you had made you now question."
"When I start the negative self-talk, I was told to pretend I am talking to my wonderful and sweet 5yo little boy. I could never say the sh*t I say to myself to my son. The therapist told me to envision someone telling my boy what I say to myself and how would I react. It was eye-opening as to how we are our own worst boogeyman."
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"Remember that change is inevitable. Nothing ever stays the same. The only constant in life is change."
"Some changes are swift and brutal for example bereavement. Others are more subtle like the changing seasons. So with this in mind I've always loved Arnold Bennett's quote... That any change, even a change for the better is always accompanied with setbacks and discomfort."
Therapy is key. We all need it ad all we have to do is ask for help.