Trigger Warning: This article will mention rape, though not graphically.
There are few things in the world worse than attempting to guilt someone into sex - and I'm zero percent about to list them. One Reddit user's boyfriend of just SIX WEEKS tried to guilt her into sex by claiming that he was suffering from his virginity, she owed him, and that his favorite artist had died that day and his favorite sports team had won a game that day do it was special. Then, when she refused, he sent her pictures of himself crying to prove how much he was "suffering."
She went to Reddit for advice after they talked, he apologized, but she still couldn't let go of how disrespected and disgusted she felt.
Here's her initial post:
We've been together for 6 weeks and we're both still virgins. I'm his first girlfriend and he seems to be suffering from the fact that he's a virgin a lot more than me.
A week ago he texted me and asked if we could meet up for sex for the first time. When I told him that I wasn't ready for sex yet, he started to beg and say that he was suffering from the fact that we haven't had sex and that „a man needs sex". When I wouldn't give in, he sent me photos of him (fake?)-crying to show me how much he's suffering and told me about all the things he has done for me and that now it was my turn to do something for him, meaning having sex with him. I was shocked by his sense of entitlement and disregard for my feelings. I got really weirded out and texted him multiple times that I wasn't ready. He was clearly trying to guilt trip me into having sex with him by acting like he's suffering and I „owe" him.
I finally had enough and told him that I needed more time and if he can't accept that, we need to break up. It was only then that he changed his approach. He told me he was an idiot and didn't want to lose me and apologized for acting the way he did. We then met in person to talk about it, he again apologized repeatedly for what he did and told me that he doesn't care how long he has to wait for sex, it could be one week, month or even year. Apparently, that day was an important date to him, because his favorite musician died and his favorite sports team won a game, and that's why he wanted to lose his virginity on that exact date. What bothers me is that he tried to emotionally manipulate me into have sex with him, and I don't know if I was wrong for accepting his apology. He hasn't mentioned sex since then and asked if we could go on a „normal" date again but what he did is still bothering me. Am I overthinking? Is it just his inexperience with girls and rejection that made him act that way?
tl;dr
Boyfriend is a virgin and started begging for sex
When I wouldn't give in, he tried guilt tripping me into having sex by sending me photos of him crying, implying that I owe him sex.
He then apologized a lot for acting that way but it's still bothering me quite a lot and I don't know if I'm overreacting...
So ... you know how sometimes people are really nice and understanding when they respond to threads? Yeah, this isn't one of those times. They laid into him HARD. Heh. Pun.
Here are some of my favorite responses, edited for language 'cause WOW language. Understandably.
Dry As The Sahara
GiphyIf your vagina isn't as dry as the Sahara by the point he sends you a pic of himself fake crying to get what he wants, surely that reason would destroy any possible attraction.
Personally I'm sure mine would detach if I was told that to my face.
- Madrid53
Time To Manipulate My Girlfriend
He was coercing you into sex and had you given in, he wouldn't mind having sex with you even though you're clearly very unenthusiastic... I'd break up just because of this.
Imagine how selfish he would be in bed, since he clearly thinks that sex is a favor that you owe him, rather than a mutually pleasurable act. Coming from someone who's slightly more sexually experienced than you: Never date a guy that doesn't try to make the sex as awesome for you as it is for him, or make sure that you're 100% enthusiastic about it. Enthusiastic consent is a thing.
Btw, it's important to lose your virginity on the same day as your favorite musician dying?? Do you even believe his excuse?? "I experienced some emotions - time to manipulate my girlfriend into having sex with me even though she's very unwilling." What's next?
Run
Run, run far away.
No one should try to pressure you into sex, that he went to these extremes shows this isn't just someone who made a mistake without realizing, he was intentionally manipulative - this is a HUGE RED FLAG. This is abusive behavior, there is no excuse for this, not his being a guy with needs or his past dating experiences, nor does his apology make it okay.
You accepted his apology but that doesn't mean you've now got to continue the relationship.
A Contact Lens
GiphyHopefully he'll learn from this and not do it again. The good news is, you are under no, and I mean zero obligation to stick around to see how it turns out. Six weeks is such a short amount of time and I personally wouldn't want to lose a contact lens in bed with someone like this, let alone my virginity.
A Dead Musician
He wanted to lose his virginity because of a dead musician and a sports team...not because he wanted to experience the highest intimacy two people can have.
Gotta Take A Selfie First
GiphyA 22yo adult virgin male saying a man needs sex is the most ironic thing I've ever heard. I'm pretty sure your (hopefully soon to be ex) boyfriend ticked every box in the emotionally manipulative check list.
Also the fake crying? Who thinks "oh man I'm so upset but hold up, gotta take a selfie first" He's a certified dill.
Not Turn Ons
He doesn't understand that to have sex, you also need to feel sexy and be aroused. Fake crying, whining and begging aren't turn ons for MOST people.
Which is probably why he's still a virgin.
Pulling Up The Drawbridge
Aaaaaaaaand that's the sound of my vagina clanging shut and pulling up the drawbridge.
Seriously, f^ck this guy, or rather don't. That is the most over-the-top manipulative bullsh!t I have ever heard of when it comes to sex. Absolutely disgusting. You listen to me, if he will go to these lengths once, he WILL do it again. He'll look for arguments and tactics you can't resist. If you stay with him, you will either give in and have sex you're not ready for, or quite likely, he will rape you. This guy is a VERY high rape risk because he feels entitled to sex and doesn't care if you want it.
Dump him. You gave him an honest chance and he showed you who he was. Use that information and get out.
Hey, Guy Here...
GiphyHey, guy here... you, as a girl, should recognize this as bullsh!t. He cares about the sex more than a relationship with you. If you feel the same, go for it. The pictures of him crying is so f^cking weird. Kind of indicative of someone that still has some growing up to do, and needs to learn to not put sex on a pedestal. This definitely seems like someone that would tell you whatever you need to hear, so they can get into your pants. If you want him to get into your pants, go for it. Otherwise, recognize that this is someone that will be manipulative with you. Not exactly long-term relationship material. At least not now, let someone else deal with his bull.
- karth
H/T: Reddit
Many high school graduates face the conundrum of what to major in when they go on to pursue higher education.
Teens who haven't already sparked an interest in a particular field by the time they graduate wind up buying more time waiting for enlightenment by electing "undecided."
But to avoid any stigma of being an idle scholar, some students settle on majors they thought never existed.
"Fun with pasta," anyone?
While such a major might not exist, I wouldn't put it past some academia for coming up with it.
Curious to hear what those unheard-of specialized fields of study are out there, Redditor GazelleHistorical705 asked:
"What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?"
Majors with one word, please.
Sounds Like A Hard Major
"PENIS. My school offered a major in Political Economy of Newly Industrialized Societies, but eventually realized the acronym and changed the name. Pity. I hope some were able to get their degrees with a concentration in PENIS."
– OhMaiMai
Hidden Objective
"Golf."
"It was made so the Vice Chancellor could buy a private golf course for the university, so he could play on it. I believe it had 5 enrollments ever, and one was a joke that didnt show up or pay. It got cancelled the first year, but he got to enjoy his own personal golf course for some years after."
– jadelink88
Just Throwing Ideas
"Frisbee. A friends roommate at Amherst was in some kind of 'create your own major' thing and chose frisbee. His family had momey and college was just a formality."
– hightower65
Certain concepts as a major were hard to grasp.
Seed Of Despotism
"IIRC, like 20 years ago some college in Indiana offered a major in World Domination."
– Rev_Christopheles
"You can only get a job as a henchman with a BS."
"You need a full PhD to be an evil mastermind."
– JimBean823
A Vague Focus
"PhD in general studies."
– dravik
"Tf do you even write your dissertation about."
– Fragile_Line
"Everything."
– ProsciuttoPizza
"Generally."
– cropguru357
Let's Take It Outside
"An old friend has a Bachelor's degree in Outdoor Activities. He was never able to explain exactly what that meant, though."
– EnlargedBit371
"A guy I know majored in Recreation."
– kmsc87
"When I was there, my college had one of the top Parks Recreation and Tourism Management (PRTM) programs in the country."
"It had the nickname 'Party Right Through May.'”
"It was extremely popular with student athletes, especially football players."
"There’s always a demand for graduates too. It seems like one of those fields where you shouldn’t need a college degree to do the work, but you need one to get in the door."
– JimBeam823
Going At Your Own Pace
"When I was in uni my friend dated a guy who was majoring in leisure studies. I used to joke that leisure studies is a 4 year program, but if you’re good enough at it you can do it in 6."
– Mtldoggogogo
Things went up a notch.
Arghhh Ya Kiddin' Me?
"At MIT you can be certified in being a pirate if you complete the courses of pistol, archery, sailing, and fencing."
– yhdreytaweatrst
"It’s not a major, it’s a certificate. But if I ever get my own office it’s going in a very nice diploma frame and I’m gonna see who notices."
– PoorCorrelation
Veritable Hodgepodge
"My university had an Interdisciplinary Studies department that served mainly to get super duper seniors graduated. They would cobble together the random credits people got because they changed majors every semester into a 'degree.' You get some wild majors like a BA in Culinary Traditions and Music in the Former British Empire."
– pinelands1901
Sapphic Education
"My college briefly had a major in Nordic Lesbianism."
– WhizzleTeabags
"I've read many of the responses on here where most of them weren't ridiculous imo but you gave the best one!"
– 90DayTroll
"HUH."
– OP
Make It Up
"At a graduation at the University of Redlands. They have a degree whereby you basically take the classes you want and call it what you want."
"The degree conferred was, I kid you not: 'Still trying to figure out who I am.'”
– dmur726
Clearly there's a major for all occasions.
But at the end of the day, does it really matter as long as you have a BA in something to show you were academically tenacious?
Now go out there and carve out your own path, young scholars!
Just make sure you can pay off those student loans.
Maybe there should be a major on how to avoid debt.
