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People Who Were Only Married Briefly Share The Exact Moment They Knew They'd Made A Mistake

People Who Were Only Married Briefly Share The Exact Moment They Knew They'd Made A Mistake
Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Sometimes marriage is just another mistake we make on the long list of mistakes we make in our life. There's a lot of stigma surrounding failed marriages, so we hope that marriage won't end up on our list of mistakes, but sometimes, that's just the way of it.

But better to get out of a mistake quickly than to live through years of sorrow, right?

u/damag3d_g00ds asked:

People who marriages lasted less than a year, months, weeks, days, or even hours. When did you realize you'd made a mistake and why?


Not me but a friend. Their marriage didn't last through the reception. Groom got absolutely drunk and slaps the brides child from a previous relationship and then hits the bride in the face. She filed for an annulment the next morning.

Groom was a truck driver (long and short haul) so he and the bride didn't spend a ton of time together over their relationship so I guess she didn't know he was like that. The actual assault happened behind closed doors and was kept pretty hush hush until the next morning to save face.

This all happened about 10 years ago and I'm no longer in contact with the bride but last I heard she was doing better and had moved on. The groom had racked up several thousands of dollars in debt in the brides name during the relationship that wasn't discovered unTIL things started falling apart. I think he's in jail now.


A Tangled Web

Wasn't my marriage, but I am involved in the story.

Basically, my ex-girlfriend's boss left his wife ON THEIR HONEYMOON, because she and him were having an affair.

They had the wedding and flew off to Bali, but he was sneaking off into the bathroom to send my then girlfriend d!ck pics from his honeymoon. I saw one of the pictures and confronted her. She admitted to it and messaged him back to tell him that I had found out. My understanding is that he basically came out of the bathroom, told his wife "I think this was a mistake. We shouldn't have gotten married', got on a plane and flew home. Left her there on her own. On her honeymoon. With no explanation.

In the end, I had to be the one to go over to her place and tell her what had really happened because he wouldn't own up to it.

So I think the marriage lasted all of about 3 days.


Don't Change For Jerks

Two months in he told me I was too fat and will no longer be having sex with me. I lost 75lbs in three months (by doing it the wrong way) and he told me he was already seeing someone else. He seemed surprised my parents would no longer pay his bills, and was kicked off their property 30 days later (per laws of my state).


I Just Don't Want This

Not me but my ex-gf a few years ago. Before we met she was dating a guy for about 7 years or so. Due to family pressures, tradition, etc she went and got married to the guy....they went home in separate cars because she said they both realized it was a mistake. Lived with her cousins for 6 months because she was scared to tell her parents.


The Escalation Into Physical Abuse

4 months in he dislocated my jaw. But really what I want to share is the signs were there and people should be aware of them. First it was just grabbing my arm kind of hard. Then grabbing my arm hard enough to bruise it. Then pushing. Then slapping. It took years so escalate. I heard it gets worse. I didnt think too much of it. I thought "im not a wimp and it's every day" Then I married him. Well, let me tell you. If they're grabbing, pushing, or hitting you they will eventually hurt you worse.


Please Talk To Each Other

Not my story, but a fraternity brother of my husband had a marriage that lasted maybe 100 days before they split. Apparently she didn't internalize that marrying a military person would mean moving around, and he just assumed she knew and was good with it.


Too Hard To Move Into

I had some friends that got married and divorced within a year. It turns out she had major doubts but went through with it anyway, then cried for the whole honeymoon and told him she had made a huge mistake. They posted all these normal pictures of them looking happy in Hawaii, but it came out later what a miserable nightmare the trip was.


It Went Downhill Faaaaaaaast

I had a friend who married one of the most horrible people I've ever met. So charming at first, but within the first 3 months of them being together, we all started to notice a few things and we decided none of us liked him. One day we saw hand shaped bruises on her arms, and literally the next day they were at the courthouse getting married. We had a small gathering shortly after, which he ended up turning into their wedding celebration, bachelor party, whatever he could to make it all about him.

He got extremely drunk, and basically tried to kill her in front of all of us. She told us they didn't have their rings yet, but they would get them soon, and he walked over to her and started strangling her for embarrassing him. She ended up breaking down, and realizing that for the entire four months of their relationship, and nine days of their marriage, he had progressively gotten more and more abusive, and she made a mistake.


Some People Just Don't Learn

I had 2 good friends who were brothers. They were party animals. Out drinking at bars all the time, sleeping with different women every weekend, recreational drugs. Their idols were the whole "Jackass" crew back in the day. They just loved that whole bachelor lifestyle, and to be honest, I was a bit jealous of the fun they were having. I was in a longer term relationship for many years. Eventually the younger brother settled down and got engaged to a really nice girl. Something broke in the older brothers mind and he suddenly was in some sort of "race" to get married before his younger brother. He kept living the bachelor life style, but then one day annouced to us all he was engaged to be married and with his fiancé they'd set a wedding date to be married 6 months before his younger brother. None of us ever met this girl before we found out he was engaged. When we did meet her, it was clear he'd not been open with her about his lifestyle. She was a very prim and proper lady. Very shy, quiet. They worked together, so she only knew the professional side of him.

Over the months leading to the wedding, his partying kept going. He was cheating on her with one night stands but she was oblivious. Our group of friends told him he needed to tell her what he was doing, but he refused.

I was nominated to be the one to tell her before it was too late. I met her for coffee and told her how he was cheating on her and the drugs he was using. She was generally taken aback, but she told me to my face, she was still going to marry him and that she could change him. I left with a clear conscience after that.

Fast forward to their wedding day and it is an absolute mess. He is drunk before the reception even starts and passes out in a corner sometime after dinner. As I am leaving, I say goodbye to his bride, and I can see it in her eyes. The definition of regret.

They ended up being together for exactly one year. Her final straw was when she really wanted to go out for a special brunch for their one year anniversary. She made plans at a fancy place. He told her he was going out to party the night before but would be home in time to get some sleep before their anniversary started. He ended up hooking up with some chick he picked up at the bar, and when he finally made it home the next afternoon, his wife had packed her bags and left.

I felt bad for her at first, but then I remembered how I laid everything on the table with her and she still did it. I've never seen or spoken to her again. My friend ended up repeating his pattern. He is on his 4th marriage now, but does seem to have finally settled down this time.


Pressure Aint A Good Union

My cousin was pressured into marrying the guy who knocked her up. They were both 21. When their son was a couple months old, she was making dinner for her and her husband, and asked her husband to feed the baby (who was crying). He said, "No, I'm busy." What was he doing that was so important? Playing WOW. They separated when their son was about 4 months old. She's now happily married to someone else, and that man adopted her son (the bio dad wanted nothing to do with him). The bio dad just died last year from a heart attack brought on my acute alcoholism at 33 years old.


When I Say Cop-Gun You Say Wedding

My brother experienced this.

He had a cop wedding, on the beach - in flip flops - everyone drunkt. And part of the 'joke' of the wedding was that when the officiant asked if anyone had any objections, everyone had an objection. They yelled drunken terrible things at the two of them for a good two or three minutes before he yelled something back like, "F*** it and f*** all of you, I'm marrying this woman regardless".

It was crazy cringe to witness, but he told me after, "You know, I had half a mind to call it off right then as I listened to what they were saying and realized everyone was probably right."


I barely understand any of this. What is a cop wedding?

Did they divorce in less than a year?

The drunk people were shouting things that were true?


My brother married a lady cop. 90% of those in attendance were other cops. It was just a ceremony though, I'm sure they got legally married either shortly before or shortly after what we all witnessed.

Yeah, < 6 months I think.


Well, At Least He Was Honest...?

After we got married, he seemed to feel "safe" enough to tell me some interesting facts. Ie. he liked performing fellatio on men, used cocaine regularly, and that his dad had done time in prison for raping a child. All things I would have liked to know about before I leapt into marriage. I tried to make it work but he didn't do his part.


Life Before 21

I met her as a fellow solder in AIT. She was crazy fun, but then something happened where she failed out and then switched AITs. Before she left, we got engaged after going out for about 5 months.

At her other post, she called and said a few times she just wanted to be with me so she would "fake" a section-8 to get a discharge and come back and join me.

So all this goes down, and as it turns out, it wasn't "fake". She was full-blown bipolar with a few other personality disorders thrown in the mix.

It was about 10 months of holy hell. She had no job, but expected me to support her "lifestyle" on a private's salary. She got a new car, upgraded from an apartment to townhouse, and managed to rack up another $30,000 in credit card debt in my name (I should put her on the card "in case of emergencies"). I didn't know this because she hid the bills.

This doesn't include the physical attacks. She would start fist fights with me out of the blue (sometimes in public just to see if tough guys in the area would react), or run into the bedroom when I was sleeping and just dump cold water on me "just for fun".

The final straw was when she wanted her ex-boyfriend from high school to come live with us, because he was a recovering junkie and needed help. So I put her on a plane to go get him, but with a one way ticket.

She then cleaned out what little cash I had in the bank account, called my 1SG to tell him I wasn't supporting her, but then disappeared entirely.

I looked her up years later, she was busted with said boyfriend for a long string of shoplifting charges and trying to fraudulently claim various benefits from 3 different states at the same time. It was a meth junkie thing.

A 10 month marriage (technically 2 years, the judge granted the divorce after "1 year of abandonment") took me 6 years of working 2 to 3 jobs to dig my way out.

This was all before the age of 21 for me.


I Can Barely Deal With My Own Emotions

I am a wedding photographer and had a couple who got were married for about a week and a half before splitting up, and still wasn't done editing the images. This was my first year in the industry and I think my 3rd wedding ever, the groom tried to use me as his therapist when I gave him the disc and it was a suuuuuuuuuuuuper awkward day in a starbucks. Word of advice for anyone, please don't try to use a 20 year old art school kid as your therapist.


Isolation Station

My ex was manipulative and found every excuse not to meet my friends or limit my time away from my family. Long story short, we ran into one of good friends into the mall and they seemed to hit it off really well. I was happy because I was like, yes, I could finally have a double date, because that's what my friend suggested. But when we got home, she mentioned that she didn't like his job. Even though he was one of the nicest and funniest guys in the world, that was it. I saw that she just purposely kept me away from everyone! And that pissed me off.

She ended up cheating on me with some guy out of the country and we got divorced months later because nobody took anything from each other.


Things People Discovered After A First Date That Were A Total Deal-breaker

Reddit user tjeast asked: 'What did you find out after a first date that was a deal-breaker?'

Woman cringing
Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

As much as we would love to be able to date one person, for that to be the right person for us, and for the two of us to get on with our life together, we all know it's going to take at least a few tries to find the perfect match.

But some of these matches make us want to throw in the towel.

You've got to listen to your gut (and your eyes) when you sense a red flag.

Redditor tjeast asked:

"What did you find out after a first date that was a deal-breaker?"

Just... A Couple... Of Red Flags

"I found out that he had restraining orders against him from not one, but two exes. He also asked if he could move in with me on the first date."

- lalalabeeee

An Ex Collector

"On the surface, he was a lawyer with an Ivy League degree. Then just one layer deep, he had six kids with five different women."

"One of his exes hated him so much that she took their kids to Germany to get away from him."

"And the kicker (yes, more than the Germany ex)? His youngest was six months old and he was sleeping on his latest ex's couch."

- Banjo-Becky

Questionable Connections

"I met up for drinks with a woman, and she started telling me about how she thought I’d get along with her brother. After a couple of drinks, we ended up at the bar where her brother worked. He's a h**l of a guy."

"We kept playing hair metal on the jukebox and drinking beers. She went from saying I would get along with her brother to I remind her of her brother. The more she drank, the more she said it."

"We ended up making out, and she started repeating the s**t about her brother while trying to get something going with me."

"I made sure she got home safe, but that s**t creeped me out so much that I never spoke to her again."

- weeew87

Secret Babies

"Prior to our first date, he said he didn't have any kids."

"While he was driving me home after our first date, he mentioned that he hated letting his baby mama use his car because she always messed with the radio stations and that it took forever to get his seat adjusted back to how he liked it."

"I was just out of high school and wasn't looking to date anyone with kids. With how disrespectful he was during our date, finding out that he had a kid was an automatic deal breaker for me."

"He then kept calling and texting me and after I blocked his number he kept creating new social media accounts to get a hold of me because he wanted to go for a second date and kept bringing up that he was making good money so I'd be an idiot to say no to him."

- 2baverage

Specific Looks Wanted

"My date kept trying to braid my hair, lol (laughing out loud). At first, it seemed weird, but not like a deal-breaker, but then he KEPT asking."

"The first time he asked, we were walking through the park, and I was telling a story, but he interrupted me, asking, 'Can I please braid your hair?'"

"I laughed, politely said no, and continued talking, but he kept interrupting, asking to braid my hair."

"I asked why, but all he said was, 'I just want to braid it,' and kept reaching for my head. I swatted his hand away a few times, and when that didn't work, I told him I was ready to go home."

"It was so creepy!"

- TheDahliaXO

Her Body, Not His Plans

"He told me that he couldn’t wait to have kids with me and that he had picked out our kids’ names."

"When I told him that this was our first date and that I wasn’t sure about kids and that this was a super creepy thing to say to me, he insisted it was my duty as a woman and that it would make me very happy."

"Yeah, there was no second date."

- NymeriasWrath

Just Practicing for Thanksgiving!

"He was a felon. He had a really unbelievable story about being locked out of his ex’s house and he broke in while JUST HAPPENING to be holding a rifle from Turkey hunting. Terrifying."

- _lmmk_

Very Different Interests

"She got off on watching the guys she was with get in fights. She gave some dude the come-f**k-me eyes and then expected me to brawl when he came up to hit on her. F**k no, girl, maybe you can catch a ride home with him."

- discussatron

No Third Wheels

"Her other guy showed up in the middle of our date. She said, 'Can I talk with him for a minute?'"

"I said, 'Sure,' and then walked out the door and never looked back."

- New2ThisThrowaway

Not a Good Morning

"She was married. We met at a bar and left together. We went and had dinner, saw a movie, and she spent the night."

"The next morning she said, 'I wonder if my husband figured out I didn’t come home.'"

"Then she asked me for a ride to work, and I got a ticket because she didn’t wear her seatbelt."


Totally Wrong

​"He asked me to pay for his court fees, that was my turn-off, so I wanted to leave to end the date."

"I said my goodbyes, and then he threatened to tell the whole restaurant I was having an affair and cheated on him if I left."

"I stayed in fear of embarrassment."

"Later, I excused myself to the restroom where I made my escape to the door. He saw me from the window."

"I saw him coming out, so I ran a bit, and when I looked back, he was chasing me. (I got away, but wow.)"

- Ok-Ambassador-8982

Supporting the Arts

"He was a really bad magician. He brought cards and everything, but he couldn’t land a trick."

"I felt bad and took him up on a second date, but that was it."

- Durdengrl322

Financial Investments

"He lost a pile of money in crypto and NFTs. But he still tried to convince me to get my money into it."

- hanginwithyuka

"Some people cannot be saved from themselves."

- Creative_Recover

Unrealized Love

"I think she was in love with her best friend and didn't realize it."

"She told me she and her long-time best friend she called her 'wifey' lived together in a single room with the friend's baby. She said that this friend always comes first and they're inseparable. They also have gotten kicked out like three times from house to house."

"She left the date early because whoever they were renting from was threatening to kick them out."

"We never really talked again but I wanted to tell her she shouldn't be dating because she's already in a relationship."

- PupEDog

We've all heard of first date fails, terrible dates in general, and big relationship deal-breakers, but just the same, we can completely understand how these were such major deal-breakers.

From lying about their real life to trying to involve us in something we're not interested in, there are some people who are simply not meant for us because their lives are just too different from ours. And that's okay!

Man wearing pink shirt and sitting with legs crossed inside an art gallery.
Ryan Spencer/Unsplash

One of the lamest ways to insult someone is by describing their behavior as being gay.

The attempt at emasculating a perceived straight heterosexual male by comparing his actions to something that a homosexual male might do is a common form of mockery by alpha males.

Examples include mocking a guy who gets manicures, wears pink, or sits with his legs crossed. "Gay, gay gay," says the immature antagonizer.

Typically, the ribbing occurs between friends and is not prompted by verbal attacks.

Still, this casual form of bullying can be tiresome and only perpetuates misconceptions and stereotypes that can be harmful to the LGBTQ+ community.

Strangers online shared their experiences being targeted when Redditor Spagoobli0 asked:

"What is the dumbest thing people called you gay for?"

Apparently, maintaining good hygiene is so gay.

Being Clean

"i was called gay for showering daily."

– ilive4manass

"with other men?"

– intheken

Scrubbing The Backside

"I was told it was gay to wash my a**. The guy was recently evicted for defecating on his own floor for 6 months and not paying taxes."

– my-recent-throwaway


"In boot camp we shower with other dudes. I had someone call me gay in the shower for washing my a**. As if the only reason for washing my a** is to make it presentable for someone else. Nah, dude, I just don’t want skid marks in the tighty whities they make us wear."

"It’s not even like I was doing it weird. Like if I was bent over spreading my cheeks so everyone could see my brown eye, that would be one thing. But I literally just took a handful of suds and ran it down the crack a couple times because, pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of."

– Morningxafter

Lotion Up

"I once had a friend of mine stop by before we were going to meet some people for brunch. I had just taken a shower and gotten dressed when he walked in the front door (I always had a just walk in policy, suburban life). I have pretty dry skin so I was putting on a bit of moisturizing lotion. First words out of his mouth were 'moisturizing? That’s pretty gay isn’t it?' I said 'If feeling like I don’t want to scrape my skin off is gay, whip out the d*cks!'”

– bg-j38

Keeping up with appearances is hard enough.

The Damaging Effects

"'Gay' was the first 'dis' I ever heard, I had no idea what it meant for like a year. I just knew it was the worst thing to be. My whole generation struggled with that and I really feel for the people who had to come out to friends and family when I was young, it must have been really tough. I came out as bi about 6 or 7 years ago and that was pretty brutal, and the only reason I came out was because something happened that made it clear I was. Tbh it was f'king humiliating and awful at the time, it really f'ked with my head and my self worth. I am totally, 100% ok with it now, in fact I'm kind of proud I have the balls to tell people I'm bi now. It's become who I am and I'm ok with it.

"Just to be clear I've never had an issue with anybody being gay, at all. It's just for me it was a really difficult thing to deal with. Extremely personal. A lifetime of unconsciously being told gay was 'bad' has an effect on me, I wish it didn't but the truth is it did. I have mad respect for all openly gay and trans people."

– NitroD*ckclapp

Revealing Color Choice

"Had a guy genuinely ask if I was gay because I was wearing a red pair of Vans."

– LemonMan589

"Maybe he was cruising."

– InverseRatio

List Of Indicators

"I was a child in the 80s. Calling people gay was standard derogatory talk for checks notes literally everything. Bad play in sport, choice of clothes, hobby, etc."

– f_ranz1224

The Hopscotcher

"I was called gay for about 6 months in middle school for jumping down a hopscotch thing as I walked past it after lunch."

– Sado_Hedonist

What happens in the bedroom...

Going Down

"Like giving oral sex to my wife. Will never understand that."

– Beenthere-doneit55

"Fellas, is it gay to go down on a woman?"

– raveturned

"I view it selfishly. It combines the two two things I love the most, eating and having sex. If that makes me gay, so be it."

– Beenthere–doneit55

Flawed Logic

"They think if you'll do down on your wife you'll go down on a guy?"

"How would the two even translate??"

– WillieOverall

Even before I came out to my friends as gay, being called anti-gay slurs–even in jest–only suppressed my inclination to want to share my truth.

One of the things I've been mocked for during high school pre-coming out was my love for Disney.

The girls had no problem sharing my passion, but the jocks made fun of me for wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt to school, saying I was a "sissy boy" for liking Disney and that only "f*ggots" liked Disney.

Now, I know plenty of demographics–gay and straight, all ethnicities–that universally appreciate Disney. But I have to say, good on them for being accurate in knowing who I was before I did: a proud f*ggot who loves Disney.

four friends walking arm in arm
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

All of us have surprising or unusual things people do that turn us on.

These can be simple things, like washing dishes, reaching for something on a high shelf, or pouring a drink which, whether it's the person doing it or the act itself, turns out to be surprisingly sexy.

Rather more interesting, however, are the things people do that draw us to them that aren't remotely sexy at all, but in fact completely wholesome.

Even so, seeing people do these things, or behave in this manner still has the same power to make us fall completely weak at the knees and melt our hearts.

Redditor levoyageursansbagage was curious to hear all of the innocent things that people find utterly alluring, leading them to ask:

"What is the most wholesome behavior you find really attractive?"

Excitement Can Be Infectious

"When people get really excited over something they enjoy."- BoiledCabbage

"Being genuinely excited about something."

"I love me a nerd."- Howdydobe

Loving All Living Things

"It was really hot and little rain for a couple of weeks and we have backyard critters roaming around typical of the suburbs."

"So my wife puts a big Tupperware bowl of water out that she changes daily in case an animal gets thirsty."

"I was looking at it one day and a stick had fallen in the bowl so I went to remove it."

"My wife yells at me, 'No! Don't take the stick out, that's so bees can crawl out if they fall in'."

"I thought it was adorable."- yakfsh1

Honey Bee Loop GIF by Kev LaveryGiphy

Truly Unforgettable

"When someone remembers a really random small detail I’ve only mentioned once."- Starriyer

Compassion Over Convenience

"Doing the right thing even when it’s inconvenient."

"I was on a date and he took a call from a friend in crisis."

"They worked the problem out and he said 'I love you' to his friend (who said it back)."

"He explained he needed to take the call and apologized that it happened during the date."

"No apology necessary!"

"He demonstrated loyalty and vulnerability and it was incredibly sexy."

"Even better that it’s just who he is; none of it was for show."- Hiberniae

"When someone helps old people."

"Maybe getting up to give their seat to them in a public bus or in general, helping them carry their heavy bags, or something."- itsMat_hi_ka

"When a person knows the right time to simply listen to someone in distress and the right time to offer advice."- Old_Army90


The Greatest Love Of All...

"My husband will run around playing games with our son in the playground and will fully commit to whatever game that is.'

"There's no standing around talking to the adults, he will get fully involved in the make-believe world."

"10/10, fully present parenting."- Ambivertigo

The Gift Of Laughter

"People that make themselves crack up."

"People with their particular and weird little sense of humor that unashamedly laugh at what they think is so funny."

"Extra points if they’re laughing because of a joke they’re telling themselves."

"It’s my favorite thing to see someone do."

"As long as the joke doesn’t seriously hurt other people."

"I love good dark humor."

"If someone’s genuinely trying to be hateful, it loses appeal completely."- tresjoliesuzanne

"When I'm with my wife at a restaurant and the baby in the next booth is staring at her, she will wave to the baby and make funny faces to get the kid to smile/giggle."

"That."- SadConsequence8476

happy baby lol GIF by TheMacnabsGiphy

Heal The World...

"I went backpacking with my boyfriend for the first time recently and I noticed that anytime we came across a little piece of trash on the trail, he would pick it up and put it in his pocket to throw away properly at the first opportunity."

"It just highlighted to me that he was conscientious and kind even when it came to things a lot of people would overlook, and I found that incredibly attractive."- snickerdoodle--

Happiness Comes In Many Forms

"Seeing a man be genuinely happy for someone else, I recently discovered this about myself."- West_Cherry3944

Literal Food For Thought

"A friend of mine has this habit of making sure that everyone around her has eaten on time."

"'A well fed tummy makes the brain think properly'."

"That's her exact words."- in_out_in_out_·

Food Cooking GIF by MasterChefAUGiphy

No One Should Take Themselves Too Seriously

"Silliness, the sillier the hotter."- Fearless-Finish9724·

The Epitome Of Selfless

"My husband grew up extremely poor."

"Not homeless but close."

"Whenever we're out and we see someone asking for food, he will quietly walk over and take them to whatever restaurant they want."

"He will then order them whatever they want."

"When we met, he was in grad school and had no money."

"He still did this."

"It made me swoon."- curryp4n

Reading these heartwarming and touching affirmations, it does give one pause that kindness and compassion are considered so unusual.

Even so, no doubt that's what makes selfless, and kind-hearted people so attractive.

Four young men sit on a mountainside while laughing and talking
Photo by Matheus Ferrero

Men can be a mystery.

They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.

In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.

But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.

Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?

You do that? ME TOO!

Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:

"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"

Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.

That's a guy truth I'll admit to.

I like to be comfortable.


U Know Flirt GIF by WimbledonGiphy

"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."


"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."


"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."



"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."


"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."

"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."


Think About It

"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."


Spoons and Forks

"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."


"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."


Pick Away

jason clarke flirting GIF by OriginalsGiphy

"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."


"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."


Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!


Uh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."



"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."


"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."


"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."


Inch by Inch

"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."


"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."


Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."


"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."


I Feel Pretty

"Being friendlier to attractive women."


"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."

"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."


"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."


At least once

"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."


"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."

"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."

"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."



wicked GIF by Ice CubeGiphy

"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."


"Gotta feed those shadow critters."


I love the ice cube kick.

I think it's gender universal.