If you happen to have a twin, things can go either one of two ways: Life can be a zany twist of transcontinental adventures a la The Parent Trap or as painfully disturbing as Dead Ringers... or so we think.
It turns out things lie somewhere in the middle (booooo!) and that formed the basis of today's burning question from Redditor xerodeficit, who asked the online community: "Twins of Reddit, what is your favorite 'wrong twin' story?"
"My brother is blind."
My brother is blind. My wife took him to run some errands and they stopped at the pharmacy I use to get some CBD oil. He'd never been there before but they all know me by name. They walk in and the workers saw him with his cane and sunglasses and said "Ha, you look like that kid from A Christmas Story who had his mouth washed out with soap and went blind!"
His reaction: "I'm not Steve, I'm Mike. And I am blind."
My wife said the color drained from their collective faces.
Fortunately he has a great sense of humor about it. It made my next trip there pretty fun.
"My family regularly..."
My family regularly called me by my twin brother's name - which wasn't a big deal until he died in a car wreck.
Almost 20 years ago.
Still happens.
I usually reply with "I'm the alive one."
"I was in high school..."
I was in high school when a teacher saw me and started yelling at me for being late to class, turns out it was my brother's teacher but the teacher did not believe me and sent me the principal.
"My mom is a twin..."
My mom is a twin and one day when I was like 8 she picked me up from school and i thought she was my aunt. I stayed suspicious for the rest of the day.
"Was standing in a..."
Was standing in a classroom, back to the door, when my twin's girlfriend came up, stood next to me, and put my hand on her ass.
We were both apologizing to each other for like three days and never told my brother. So I guess this isn't my favorite moment but I think it's a funny story.
"We were 18..."
Giphy
We were 18, and my twin got a job at the same grocery store where I already worked. Many times we were both at work together and just due to the workflow one of us would start working with a customer and then get called away, if the customer didn't notice- they'd continue the conversation with Twin B as if twin A never left.
Years later we were still living in the same area and the main road through town had most of the businesses in town. Our parents colleagues from work would often see one of us at work and then the other somewhere else- and assume we were the same person. So their friends would always tell them how hard their son worked not realizing there were 2 of us - so we were often in 2 places at the same time.
"My twin sister..."
My twin sister went to go wake up my boyfriend instead of me. I was doing something so I asked her too. Normally when she would wake him up she was a dick about it. Loud, flickering lights etc, this time she was very calm and nice about it. She walked in, shook him awake. But him, thinking it was me started to rub her thigh. She screamed "wrong twin" and ran out of the room.
Another,
My twin was walking around the school hallways and had one of my friends come up to her, thinking it was me and slapped her. My sister had no clue what was going on.
When I was younger..."
When I was younger my mom was upset with my brother and she was planning on slapping him but she found me instead and next thing you know I'm balling my eyes out because here I am, minding my own business and I get slapped for absolutely no reason. My mom started crying after she realized what she'd done.
"When we were younger..."
When we were younger (like 13-14), we had a big family dinner. It was a while since everybody saw each other and everyone was happy. Now, my brother can't stand pepper, I don't know why, but he always hated it. We both ordered a pasta carbonara, mine with pepper his without. Of course the waiter accidentally switched plates and my brother, which was really hungry, started devouring them as fast as he could.
When the pepper kicked in he already ate like a half of the pasta. He was so disgusted that he just put his fingers in his throat and threw up everything on the table. He destroyed everybody's meal and our aunt's dress who was in front of him. Our parents got so angry, but I never laughed that hard in my entire life.
"My brother Dennis..."
My brother Dennis had a girl really sweet on him in grade 7/8. She moved away before high school. Four years later I was with a girl I just started dating at the movies. Standing in line for popcorn when a hand starts caressing my butt. Startled because I didn't think my date and I had progressed that far, I kind of leaned into it. The next thing I know she's nuzzling my ear with her hand still gripping my @ss. I started to lean into her lips by turning my head, and I see my date standing 10' away with a horrified look on her face.
What a cluster f**k that was.
I lost my date but my brother got hooked up with the old sweety.
We had several adventures as teens, including him writing a test for me and taking a medical for a job interview.
"In primary school..."
In primary school I walked into my own classroom (we were in separate classrooms) and a girl in my class thought we had finally done a swap to confuse the teachers.
Nope, just me!
"I'm a twin..."
Giphy
I'm a twin.
In elementary school (3rd grade) during lunch time my sister's class always ate lunch before mine. So I'd always be a good 10-15 minutes behind her class when it came to lunch. So the only time we were in the cafeteria at the same time was for a total of 15 minutes. However one day my class was running behind for lunch, which meant my sister's class was getting ready to leave the cafeteria.
So that day I'm lined up with my class in the lunch line waiting just outside the food pick up area. When this boy from my sister's class walks up to me, calls me by my sister's name and proceeds to drag me out of line towards the cafeteria exit. He says "(sister's name) you already got lunch, why are you in the line again?"
See one thing to know is that between me and my sister I'm the timid and shy one. So I didn't like cutting people off when they are speaking or just speaking in general. So I never really got a chance to tell him that he in fact has the wrong twin because he kept running his mouth. (At this point were standing at the door waiting on my sister's teacher) couple minutes later it wasn't until my sister came out the bathroom said a quick "Hey (my name)" that the boy realized that he grabbed the wrong twin.
"Long distance girlfriend..."
Long distance girlfriend (now wife) had a cousin who went to the same college as me. She saw my twin brother on a date with his girlfriend at the time. She took pictures on her cell and sent it around to the family saying I was cheating on her. Took a long time for them to buy the "I have an identical twin" argument.
"When my twins were about 4..."
When my twins were about 4, at summer camp one day after swimming they put on each others' clothes including shoes. They spent the second half of the day pretending to be each other. When I picked them up at the end of the day they got in the car and I just looked at them for a moment, then said, "guys? . . ." and they BURST out laughing and couldn't stop for a long time.
"When coworkers..."
When coworkers still mixed us up even though I had a beard and he didn't.
Then again, I thought me getting glasses in kindergarten would stop people mixing us up, but they still did. Then he got glasses in elementary school, too, so there went that.
"In high school..."
In high school one of my twin brother's teachers said hello to me and tried to grab my arm to speak to me about something probably class related. I didn't know who it was as I had never taken her class and walked off quickly and kind of weirded out.
Later she berated my brother in class in front of everyone for being so rude to her. He told her it was probably his twin brother and she didn't believe him. Everyone else in the class told her that he did have a twin brother, to corroborate his claim, but she refused to believe any of them.
"At school, my brother and I..."
At school, my brother and I switched classes as my teacher was old. We got away with it until some brat told the teacher. The after result: lots of laughter at home when we got suspended for 3 days.
"It's around 11 pm..."
Identical twin girls, we both wear glasses, but I'm straight and she's gay. This is important because I have super long hair, pretty girly, wear make-up, etc. My twin is the complete opposite, super short hair, imagine Brendon Urie hair, wears guy clothes/semi baggy, and wouldn't wear makeup if you paid her to do so. So my twin had been working at Taco Bell for probably like 4 months or so. We'll call my twin phlo cause thats what they nicknamed her. (My twin has a super unique and hard to spell name.) Majority of them knew she had a twin through social media or from high school.
It's around 11 pm, my twin isn't working and I decide I want some Taco Bell. I give my order pull up to the window, a girl sees and starts to bring me bring me my food. "Oh hey Phlo." She gives me a confused head tilt/stare, looked at her co-worker, back at me and gives a nervous giggle as she close the window. I hear her say "OMG IDK who that is." A couple other people tried to very "nonchalantly" come see what she means. I just kind of awkwardly wave still trying to pay for my food. After about 5 minutes of no one coming back to the window or counter, I just left. So hey I got free food because of my twin. The next day my twin texts me asking why I freaked out so many of her co-workers. lol I guess some people cant handle the thought of twins.
"Apparently..."
Apparently my brother won a pole dancing competition in New Orleans during pride. A lot of gay dudes were just saying I was awesome. Haha I was soooooooooo confused
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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