Cats are lovely animals and make wonderful pets... but they also have a knack for getting into mischief.

My old cat––miss him dearly––had a habit of knocking over glasses and I can't tell you how furious I became each time I had to break out the dustpan and sweep up shards of glass from the floor. (The problem was eventually rectified, just so you know.)

We love our cats (and their attitudes) at least until they start to get really annoying, as we were so kindly reminded once Redditor thiscouldbeitall asked the online community, "Cat owners of reddit, what is the douchiest thing your cat has ever done?"


"I was hanging a painting..."

I was hanging a painting and my cat walked up and vomited into my open toolbox.

Disregard-my-opinion

"She bit my toe..."

She bit my toe in my sleep hard enough to draw blood, which scared me out of bed and onto the floor, where I smacked my head on the corner of my nightstand.

So then at 2am in the morning, bleeding from two wounds directly caused by this cat, I had to comfort the little sh!t because I'd scared her jumping up and hollering.

SuddenTerrible_Haiku

"Was excited..."

Giphy

Was excited about getting a new plant for my living room. The first night he took a crap in the pot.

KloudToo

"Then proceeded..."

Ate ribbon. Then proceeded to scare himself when he crapped cause it was stuck. Ran all over the house with this crap ribbon hanging out getting poop plops all over every carpet in every room.

Caught him, wrapped my hand in paper towels, and proceeded to pull said craptastic ribbon.

Wash, rinse, and repeat 3 months later when we discovered he likes to eat string too.

greenbanky

"The quiet one..."

The quiet one woke us up at 2 am meowing her damn head off. She wanted to show us her big catch.

AN OVEN MITT! She was proud of catching and slaying a damn oven mitt.

briannmenn

"My cat caught a mouse..."

My cat caught a mouse in the middle of the night and was very proud of it, so naturally she jumped into my bed and dropped it on my face.

Only she was a terrible hunter and hadn't actually killed it. Cue terrified mouse running down the length of my body.

landshanties

"Turned on the gas..."

Turned on the gas in the middle of the night and tried to kill us.

Frekkes

"But her love..."

I loved my old cat. She loved me. But her love destroyed my ability to sleep. Eventually, she would just sit herself on my chest or back and rub her face against mine until I woke up. And by eventually, I mean no later than six in the morning. She's been gone for six years, and I still can't sleep past six, regardless of circumstances.

She was the best, though. Totally worth it.

somepeoplewait

"Sometimes..."

Sometimes she goes out of her way to sneeze in my husband's face. As soon as she has, she walks away.

Pabs23

"When my cat was a kitten..."

When my cat was a kitten every time the lights turned off she would sprint all over the house, jump on everyone's bed, and slap them in the face. This also happened to my friend when I brought my cat over there for the weekend. I don't know if this counts but it's funny nonetheless.

HeckWolf

Humans have had an undeniably significant impact on our environment and the other species that inhabit the planet with us.

What might happen if humans weren't here to exert that influence, though?

What if we never had?

Keep reading... Show less
Nayanika Mukherjee/Unsplash

A haiku is a style of poetry that originated in Japan. The form involves having 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

Some people on Ask Reddit shared where they work and what they do based on these constraints.

The results ended up being very fun.

Redditor Lost_Borealian invited workers to express themselves:

"Writing only in Haiku, what do you do for work?"

Can you guess where they work based on their poem?

Keep reading... Show less

Sometimes, it's not that complicated.

Sometimes, you wish the whole world would just take a second and chill out and really just look at something in its barest essence.

Keep reading... Show less
Elisa Ventur/Unsplash

Look, there's a reason brands don't often choose radical honesty as a marketing tactic when it comes to their slogans.

There aren't a lot of companies that could get away with just telling it like it is - but we can!

Keep reading... Show less