Blue pill or red pill? That is the question. Everyday feels like a computer game gone awry, or like we're all stars in our versions of the Matrix films. Life too often feels unreal and like a virus is corrupting the download. We all have to be our own personal Neo. Déjà Vu or Matrix, the universe can be a tricky mistress.Redditor u/mailseuuu wanted to discuss the times when life seemed a bit... off... by asking... Was there a moment wherein you thought it was a "glitch in the matrix"? What are your stories?
I've lost track of the amount of times I lost an item only to discover it in a place I KNOW I scoured earlier. Or who hasn't had a television restart once you've turned it off? How about hearing distant voices in the night? Just me? Let's see...
VanishedMagic Vanish GIF by VPRO Giphy
One time when I was like 8, I was rolling a toy plane (I distinctly remember it was an F117 stealth fighter) across my desk.
It rolled off my desk and just disappeared. I didn't lose it. It just disappeared. There was nowhere for it to go and I never found it again.
I have a very visually distinctive necklace. Well one day. After I took it off just it disappeared . I looked and looked for it finally giving up and wrote my necklace off as lost forever.
A few weeks later I was dusting the ceiling fan when I noticed a shadow in the light globe. So I undone the globe from off the fan. Thinking the shadow was maybe a bug. No bug. The shadow was my necklace.
I preordered the special edition of Doom 3 and it came with a little pewter figurine of one of the monsters in the game. I accidentally knocked it off my desk and never heard it hit the ground, never saw it again. My room was carpeted so like, there's a chance I might not have heard the sound it made, but I looked freaking everywhere for it and could never find it. I lived in that room for four years after that, constantly rearranging and moving around, never saw it. And there was nothing under the desk it could've fallen into either. So weird.
On LoopOh My God Omg GIF by Barry Giphy
Ejected the CD and the music kept going. Four of us in the car were like "we are dead, this is limbo, what is going on".
They... just... disappear...
I have a desk that glitches all the time. Whenever I eat on it and I spill a piece of my food, the piece just freaking disappears. It happened to me 3 times this week already.
I call it the "quantum table".
The spilled pieces are quite large (meat, or vegetables). They don't fall to the ground (I've checked hundreds of times). They're not beneath it either (it's a simple table, it has nothing underneath like drawers). They... just... disappear. That amount of spilled food should pile up somewhere! But they are just gone. Forever.
When I wear necklaces I have a tendencies to spin the pendant when I'm stressed. I remember one day I was rapidly spinning a necklace on my way to one of my classes and the pendant flew off. I didn't bother to look for it. I had to get to class and luckily it was a relatively cheap piece of jewelry.
A few months later I move about 1.5 hours away to a new town. About a year into being there, I come home and what do I see sitting on my bed? My pendant. My then gf said she found one of the cats playing with it by the stove and figured it had been knocked under there and they dug it out. But... how?
See now I knew I wasn't alone. We all have moments that seem like their part of either a ghostly experience or we're all characters in a real life "Truman Show." And I'm not sure that's how I want to become famous.
We visited the spaceflight center in Huntsville a few years ago and I got an A-12 (looks like the SR-71) coffee cup. I started drinking coffee in it every day and for more than a year, everything was normal. I wake up, go pour coffee, drink it downstairs, wash it, then go back to work in my office upstairs.
Sometimes, I get a second cup of coffee and bring it up to my office and then bring it down when I'm done to wash and reset for the next day.
On May 1 of last year, I forgot to bring it back downstairs from my office. Next morning, I wake up and go downstairs to have a cup of coffee like usual in my A-12 cup I got from the Space & Rocketry Center in Huntsville, AL. When I'm done, I wash it and put it away and go upstairs to start work...
...and there's the cup from the day before with an inch of cold coffee in it.
I bring it downstairs, trying to figure out what's going on and the one I just used is still sitting in the drying rack.
I now have two A-12 coffee cups. In the months since, they've both picked up a little bit of their own character, but at the time I brought the original and its doppelcupper together, they had the same scuff marks and were in every way I could tell identical.
I don't have an explanation for how this happened. I don't know how this cup somehow duplicated or why or how to do it again, but what I DO have... is two A-12 cups even though I only bought one.
The Dropbunny rubbing GIF Giphy
My brother got a lucky rabbits foot keychain. I was tossing it in the air and catching it. One time it went up, but didn't come down. 30 years later I was working in the ceiling and found it on the heat duct that was covered by a drop ceiling.
Which One are You?
There was a girl at a place I worked that I flirted with for a couple months. It was weird because she sometimes seemed a LOT more interested than others, like aggressively.
One day I finally got the nerve up to ask her out and she said yes.
So that weekend, I show up at her house to picker her up, and when the front door opens, there are two of them - twins!
Turns out they took turns working the job, and the one I asked out - not aggressive - was just as nervous as I was, so her sister was acting like a wing...girl (?) to encourage things to happen.
We all got a good laugh out of it, and I dated her for about a year. At work it was always funny to try and figure out who was actually working after that, although I did get better after we'd been dating for a bit.
HannahSeason 15 Kiss GIF by The Bachelorette Giphy
I woke up in the morning and saw a trailer for a movie named Hannah. I was then scrolling through my Google calendar and saw it was my friend Hannah's birthday.
Later on in the night I had some friends come over and we were about to go to a bar, I ordered doordash and the delivery girl's name was Hannah. I went out that night and got a girl named Hannah's number who I dated for about 6 months. Nothing else came up the relationship but that was an extremely bizarre coincidence and follow-up circumstance. It made me really consider the matrix theory.
All the Coins
I had a quantum carpet in my room as a kid. I remember spilling a jar of change on my carpet a mix of all stuff pennies, dimes, quarters etc.
I found like... A handful of the coins and that's it.
Wasn't a shag carpet that could hide the coins, not like 50+ coins all rolled away out of sight or anything.. But they were just gone.
I tossed my first cheapo mp3 player at my desk and it never landed. I figured I overshot somehow and it was in my closet. Nope. Not in any of my shoes, not somehow caught in a fold or pocket. Wasn't under the desk or anywhere else. It simply ceased to exist. Never did find it.
Roku AwayMobile App Streaming GIF by Roku Giphy
My roku remote. i was asleep, it was like 7:00 am and i wake up, I don't see the remote. i assume it fell off the side of my bed near the wall, I check under, nope. not there. nothing. It was just gone. Had a hard time convincing my mom.
I once found a 20 sided dice (that I had lost a few years prior in America) in the middle of a desert in Israel.
It was the exact same dice as well. I remember because it was the same coloring and had the same scratched off number as well.
Years ago I lost a can of tuna. I took it out of the pantry to make a sandwich, but then decided to just have cereal, and put it back. Before I got the cereal I changed my mind again and took the can back out of the pantry and set it down. I had been craving tuna on toast with extra tomato and had bought it the evening before specifically to make that.
I get the can opener and the can was gone. I looked all over the kitchen and never found it. I even checked the pantry and sure enough I was missing a can. I had bought a certain number like 4 for a dollar or something. This was in the 90's.
I was maybe around 5 years old. Pretending to be a magician. I put a pen in this big activity book and waved my hands over it and said "abracadabra" to make the pen disappear. The pen literally disappeared. The bulge you would see of a pen being in a book was gone. Looked through the entire book. Look around the floor. Couldn't find it. Never found it. We moved out of that house when I was 11 and never found the pen.
Trash Miraclemiracle GIF Giphy
I dropped a piece of A4 paper at work and it landed stood up on the short edge. It wasn't bent or folded, literally a fresh sheet of paper just standing all by itself.
Whats more, it happened twice whilst I was at that work place. Never seen it happen again.
I walked by my colleague who was having a conversation. The convo definitely continued after I passed. I walked another 150 meters, went up a staircase, and walked by a room. My colleague was in that room, talking to another person. I was shook. Later in the day I verified that I had indeed passed her.
I asked how she could have gotten past me and she just said "I'm a fast walker." You ain't THAT fast. She would have had to run up a different staircase, outpace me in the same hall but one floor above. I just didn't see how it happened.
My bedroom at the time lead into the living room that you could see into the kitchen. We also had a bathroom that was directly off our room, in the corner. You couldn't get to it unless you were in our room.
I woke up one afternoon. I remember sitting up, checking my phone and lighting a cigarette.
I got out of bed, opened the bedroom door, walked into the living room to turn the thermostat up. I saw my ex in the kitchen fiddling around with the coffee pot. Then he started walking towards the back of the house, into the other bedroom. I said "Hey! You're up early." He looked at me, and kept on walking. I went back into our room and sat on the bed.
After a few minutes I called his name, and he opened the bathroom door and said "yeah?"
Apparently he was in the bathroom the whole time. I was very confused and super freaked out because I could have sworn I saw him in the kitchen. There's no way it was him if he was in the bathroom. It shook me up pretty bad.
Occasionally I will fall asleep and dream at night and recognize the dream from when I was a very little kid (I'm 31) and basically pick up from where I left off. This has happened with 5 separate dreams now.
As in I'll dream I'm in a particular place doing a particular thing and remember inside the dream that I left off here when I was 6 and this is what happened before I reached this point.
Sometimes the Universe is sending messages we need to hear. And other times it's just playing tricks on us. Start taking notes of strange happenings. the coincidences add up.
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The finite nature of a hotel stay can lead guests to behave in ways they wouldn't normally. And where there is saucy behavior, there are the artifacts left behind.
And who is there to pick up those pieces on the following morning? The hotel staff--cleaners, maintenance people, technicians, even managers when things get unruly enough.
Some Redditors who've occupied those positions recently shared the wildest things ever left behind by guests.
Some were gross, some exciting, and some just downright puzzling.
MichaelJCaboose_ asked, "Hotel cleaners of Reddit, what's your most memorable find left behind by a guest?"
Many people chose to share the times they came upon the disgusting remnants of an uninhibited night before. The guests responsible left a collage of artifacts that looked more like a still-life picture of hedonism than a living quarters.
"Three empty bottles of wine, about two dozen cherry pits scattered all over the floor and under the furniture, and red-colored puke all over the bedspread."
"There was only one guy staying in the room."
The Consequences of Fame
"Found a human poo in the kettle once. Worse part was it was a 'celebrity' (crappy uk reality show) doing a guest appearance at a local club."
"Him and his mates filled the rooms iPad with di** pics too. Hotel got rid of the iPads shortly after that."
No Closet Is Too Nice
"Friend worked a 5-star hotel and found a turd in the closet." -- Boganvillia
"That's not a very nice thing to call your guest, but as someone that worked in customer service, I agree. They are turds." -- theassassintherapist
"Closet poopers are what happens to shy poopers if they don't face their poop anxiety." -- Stunning_Honeydew201
"I do maintenance. Had a group of part time housekeepers that are mentally handicapped working with their job coach go into a suite with adjoining door. There were 3 construction workers staying, 2 and their supervisor."
"In the one side with a pull out couch and DVD player, they found a full size blow up doll, empty small bottles of lube, used condoms, several beer bottles, and a stack of porn on DVD. Doll was on the pull out couch and everything else was all over the bed."
Other former cleaners described the times they came to a vacant room to find some very unexpected objects. These weren't as gross as the previous examples.
But the mysteries of what exactly the guests did with these items are still unsolved.
Steer Clear of Gadgets
"Almost tazed myself with a 'tube of lipstick' that I found under the bed." -- Naprisun
"insert lipstick taser gif here" -- georgiomoorlord
"so nobody's talking about this person using hotel bed lipstick" -- ST4R3
Back on the Road
"My friend's family owns a motel. He tells me they once found an auto transmission in the bathtub of a room." -- smorkoid
"Yup, I've heard of this before. You go to the town on a bachelor party, take a pill and then wake up and your transmission is in the bathtub full of ice and 3rd gear was removed" -- cavegoatlove
Making it Cozy
"I worked as a hotel cleaner during undergrad."
"My first day of work someone left a hatchet in the bathtub."
"Also, someone completely decorated the room with framed family pictures.. and left them all there. I think their stay was only 2 days. They set some up on the furniture.. but also legit hung some on the walls."
Finally, some people shared about the times they were pleasantly surprised to find that guests left behind some really nice stuff.
And, of course, finders keepers was in full swing.
"I worked for a hotel that had cabins, so I would be in and out all day in the hot sun. On one of those hot days I opened the fridge to find an unopened bottle of Dr. Pepper in the freezer part.. it was perfectly slushed."
"It made my day. This was years ago, too!"
As If They Knew
"A whole box of magnum ice creams. My fave!" -- nightcana
"If this was in Melbourne, you're welcome. I bought them but got invited out. Checked out the next day and left them in the freezer and I couldn't stand the thought of putting them in the bin." -- hemansteve
"My partner gets apartments ready for the next people renting them out after leases are up, they've found so, so many bdsm toys. One of which (a flogger) is my cats favorite toy over all others now including her very expensive cat toys hahaha"
It's a fun idea to think back on all your hotel stays and recall anything you've left behind over the years.
And then, depending on what exactly it was, you can imagine what the other side of that story turned out to be.
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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.
Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.
Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.
Was it worth it?peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy
He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.
> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'
> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended
> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended
> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended
Uhhh what was the intention here?
He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.
Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.
At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."
So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.
I hope there was no overlap in the columns.Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy
She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.
2 separate lists or just the 1?
Same list 2 columns lol.
Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.
This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.
Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.
Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.
Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.
A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.
Every school had the cat girl.cat dragging GIF Giphy
The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.
Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.
Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.
I was exactly this kind of weird.
He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.
The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.
I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man
It's fair to say that just because you're a parent doesn't mean you have the abilities to properly teach.
These are not those parents. These parents think making their child suffer is the way to go.
Reddit user, u/MynameMB, wanted to hear about what misguided parenting looks like when they asked:
Let's Get The People Who Take This All A Bit Too Literally Out Of The Way...
...because seriously, don't throw your kids into a pool if they don't know how to swim.
Don't ACTUALLY Make Them Sink Or Swim!
I actually used to be a swim teacher in college teaching private lessons in people's backyards because of parents who had thrown their kids into the pool to sink or swim. It was usually Mom's calling me for help because they heard from a friend of a friend that I was able to teach their kid and get them to like the water again in about a month or less. One kid, he was 7, I had to sit with him on the pool deck the whole first lesson and bring buckets of water to him, his Dad had dunked him multiple times and insisted that his son would just figure it out eventually because "that's how he learned."
Needless to say he was never home when I was there. The Mom had me come while Dad was at work. Four weeks later she had me come later in the afternoon so he would come home towards the end of the lesson. His Dad saw his son swimming and cried happy tears. He had no idea I had been there three days a week for a month. My favorite student was a 70 year old man who wanted to do a triathlon but never learned to swim because his Dad threw him in as a child. It took about 3 months total, a lot of hand holding on the steps and shallow end, but he finally achieved his goal and I got to cheer him on at the finish line. I still remember how each of my students clung to my arms and clawed at my neck in their first lessons.
I never dunked or forced anyone out of their comfort zone. My lessons had to be customized for each student to keep it fun and relaxing. The trauma in their eyes was haunting though.
Skills That Are Probably Best Taught Instead Of Unsympathetically Learned
There are lots of time when parents think they're teaching their child some valuable life lesson. Skills or knowledge that could be passed down for generations to come, as if they're brilliant teachers instructing for the first time. Upon further look, some of these could probably be fixed in a day with some talking.
Could You Even Do This One By Yourself?
they didn't want to teach me to tie my shoes, because my mum said "I had to learn that myself, so should you!"
How Could You Know?
'Just walk it off!'
My dad, when I developed a big nasty cyst on my toe when my mom was away on a stressful trip. She was not pleased to come back and have to immediately drive me to the hospital. It got to the point where I took one step on it and almost passed out.
He apologized afterward. Got a sandwich from a really good sandwich place and I forgave him. Now I laugh about it.
Well, That's Just Bad Luck
I was always a picky eater growing up. One time my mom sat me down with a small bowl of almonds and told me I couldn't get up out of my seat until I finished it. I insisted that I hated them and they were making my mouth itch, she thought I was just being difficult. I just started to swallow the almonds like pills because my mouth was so itchy from chewing on them.
A couple years later I saw and allergist and discovered I was allergic to tree nuts.CosmonautCaveman
My younger cousin (4 at the time) was a climber and always needed help getting down. His dad told his mom to leave him. He'll either learn how to get down himself or stop climbing. Cousin ended up climbing onto the roof, fell off and got impaled on a fence pole. One very expensive trip to the er and he now has a cool scar on his thigh.
When Your Livelihood And Futures Are Literally On The Line
Every parent can look at their "sink or swim" approach as a form of preparation. Giving your child a small taste of what the future might hold for them. However, in these last few instances, you could argue the parent went a bit too far in one direction, actually showing them a full sampling of how terrible the world can be.
You Should Have Started Saving Yesterday
2 days after I graduated high school I came home to an empty house, all my stuff in a Uhaul because my mom and stepdad moved without me. I have been financially independent ever since, but a heads up would've been nice.
My real dad was not involved in this situation he was on the other side of the country. I am still close with him but he is very low income so he could not help me in this. I went no contact with my mom for about a year but she weaseled her was back in. I think I see her in person once every 2 years and I do not acknowledge my stepfather exists. I have been considering going no contact with my mom again recently
Learning To Drive
My step dad would get hammered and make me drive him home. I was 14 and couldn't drive stick and he was like you'll figure it out. This happened Maybe 3 times.
Okay, Maybe Help Your Child?
7 years old. Had an asthma attack at our camp in the middle of the night. At that time, treatment for an attack was a nebulizer machine that required electricity, which we didn't have at our camp. My parents kept telling me that I just had to calm down and breathe better so the attack would go away on its own. They only intervened hours later because they couldn't sleep because of all the noise I was making as I choked and gasped for air. We drove 3 hours back to our house, passing multiple hospitals along the way because they were embarrassed that I was in such bad shape and blamed me for just not breathing properly. Fun times.
Take it easy on your kid.
Remember. They're just a kid. Most of the world is new to them, and the don't possess all the abilities to handle it, so it's up to you to teach them, and not always let them struggle to the point of death.
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Belly up to the bar folks, 'cause there are some wild tales to be told as you sip your sarsaparilla.
Those who work behind bars meet people from all walks of life and hear a variety of unusual anecdotes.
I never worked as a bartender, but I know they get an earful from babbling patrons who have had one too many to drink.
Curious to hear about the wild life stories shared at bars, Reddit xXSlimi_Gacha009 asked:
"Bartenders of reddit, what was the weirdest/craziest thing you have overheard while making someone's drink?"
Patrons say the darnedest things.
"The first restaurant/bar i worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said 'you wanna pet my parrot?' my initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around... It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrots name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him 😂"
"I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces 'Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality...'. The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business. My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn't allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking."
Favorite A**hole Bartender
"Regular of mine who I hadn't seen in awhile was sitting at the bar when I came in for a shift change."
"I came in the back way and noticed he had crutches leaning against the bar."
"Recently in the news someone hadn't had their shotgun properly secured in their truck and it went off..."
"So I jokingly say, 'you're that f'king idiot who blew off his leg arent you?'"
"The whole bar gets quiet and everyone is mean mugging me."
"My regular starts laughing..."
"Yeah, it was him. I had no idea. I didn't apologize, because as his favorite a**hole bartender those comments were expected of me."
"Poor guy was only 20 couple and blew his leg off close to the hip. No idea how he survived."
"I was a bartender for about two weeks (filling in for a relative who owned a bar and went on his honeymoon)."
"I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it."
"Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted."
"It was actually an episode of 'Forensic Files' back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like 'the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.' I was kind of upset that they didn't mention me. Lol. I was hoping for, 'The awesome bartender overheard them, but couldn't really tell us much. He also pointed at the male in the photo lineup and asked 'Is this him?' as if he was unsure. What a f"king dope.'"
"Edit 1: I spent half of the day reading the descriptions of every episode that's streaming on Netflix and watching the ones that seemed relevant. I didn't figure it out and I'm sorry, but I just don't know which episode it was. I recorded it on a VHS tape years ago, but don't know where that is either. I'm moving, so if I come across it, I'll edit this and let everyone know which one it was."
"Edit 2: As I recall, the hitman wasn't a professional by any means. I think the episode said he was just a local junkie who'd pretty much do anything for his next fix."
The following conversations were undoubtedly head-turners.
"From a woman to her friend, 'I don't know about you but I just can't poop in a pink bathroom.'"
"Someone was boasting about his 'Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!' he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend 🤷♀️"
Passions are inflamed where alcohol is in the mix.
Ferris Wheel Payment
"A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn't pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they'd ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who's collection was due at 8am the following morning."
"Man and woman is sitting at the bar. She starts crying and says 'I just want us to have something special'. The guy looked her dead in the eyes and said 'we do have something special, we have sex. We are both married'. 10 minutes later they are making out and she's rubbing him over his pants. I loved slow Wednesdays."
I'm a cheap date.
So whenever I'm halfway through my first – and usually ONLY – glass of cab sav at a bar, I know I'm talking in a stream of consciousness and volunteering embarrassing personal information.
Once, I confided to all the patrons and staff at a bar in Barcelona, France, about my embarrassing college experience. And I apparently gave a wild performance when the DJ played Prince's "Kiss."
I'm still searching this subReddit to see if any of the comments might be referring to me.