I don't think humans appreciate or grasp just how quickly a life can change in an instant. Do you realize how fast an instant is? Things can go from calm to outrageously off the rails in a breath. And when that happens we're all just left in a stunned silence. We have to think of life like a roller coaster... we explode from a quick crawl to a flying blast. Now do we get it?Redditor u/neboi69 wanted to hear about the times when things went off the rails rather quickly by asking... People of Reddit, in which moments of your life did "S**t go from zero to 100 really f**king quick?"
I can't count the amount of times my life has gone to one hundred, heck, two hundred before I could even get a good jog going. Mostly, it's happened to me when I was waiting tables. Y'all have no idea. One minute it's quiet and we're going along at a nice glide. Then ten minutes later, you've got ten tables, people are yelling and half the menu is already sold out. I still have nightmares.
Its Coming!!season 7 labor GIF Giphy
36 weeks pregnant. Went from "oh I think my water just broke, yay, time to call my midwife" to "oh crap that's not just fluid it's blood!" Ambulance ride and emergency C section all within a couple of hours.
I was a few months past my 32nd birthday. I went to bed, strong as a bull and literally woke up with cataracts. Not exaggerating; They formed overnight. My wife took me to the hospital and we found out that I had Stage 4 Systemic Sarcoidosis. Legs. Lungs. Liver. Kidneys. Intestines. Spleen. Eyes.
15 years, seven surgeries, bad reactions to meds and tons or rehab later, I'm back to work. I'm only half of what I used to be, but I'm really grateful for that half.
Fine on Paper...
Dad randomly fainted and was unconscious for probably 10 minutes or so. Ambulance came, took him to the E.R., every test was normal. He was fine on paper.
Came home, went back two days later as he was severely septic. Bounced between the hospital, specialty hospital and rehab hospital and nursing home 13 times in a year's time. He was in a coma, every organ shut down and came back to life, he developed a list of infections and problems.
His brain took the biggest hit. He died in the nursing home in his sleep.
He went from respiratory therapist with a high intellect to confusing me for my mother. Broke me so hard. We knew what caused the initial infection but still never found out why he fainted. The two incidents were unrelated but the infection he got came from the hospital during the first stay.
An Asda Night
I was leaving Asda one night after buying a few bits and I heard a loud crash like two cars had hit at the roundabout. Sorta chuckled to myself and thought 'ooft, I'd be annoyed' because I knew two cars hitting on a roundabout in this area likely wouldn't be fast or a risk to life.
I continue walked another 10 seconds or so and notice an old man in the middle of the road.
A guy had come off the roundabout and this old bloke, If I recall right he was 84, was cycling across the road with no reflective gear and he went straight into him.
Driver was in shock and nobody else was around so I dropped my stuff and ran over to do first aid/get help. This was October last year, I still don't know what happened to him but he was barely conscious and couldn't move anything.
It was one of those situations where you always wonder how you'd act if it happened to you and I'm so glad I kept my cool as opposed to panicking.
Blood Workgeorge clooney er ev shpw GIF by Pop TV Giphy
Wife was feeling fatigued, got a call from her doctor who ordered blood work saying she was likely in kidney failure.
Later determined to be glomerulonephritis, went to the hospital for an ultrasound of her kidneys and it was confirmed he creatinine level was 12.0. She had to start dialysis the next day and thankfully got a transplant about 8 months later. 7 years later and she is still doing fantastic post transplant.
See there, we're not alone. Life is an erratic gamble on all of us. And there is no amount of planning that can prevent the downturn. Life is gonna life. We can prepare to roll along better. Let's see who else understands...
the money pit...
When I was 12, my parents were considering the possibility of moving to a bigger house for our growing family, not enough to have hired a realtor, but enough that they were casually looking at houses. My mother fell in love with a house above our price range, and went in during an open house.
The agent asked if she wanted to make an offer, and she wistfully threw out an offer she could afford, but was definitely lowballing.
Unbeknownst to my mother, the house was being sold because the family was relocating due to the father's work, and the sale needed to happen urgently so the relocation could happen as quickly as possible.
The agent had been instructed to take the next offer that walked in the door, and the company would make up the difference if it was below market value. The agent accepted my mother's offer.
My father got a phone call while he was work with a frantically excited "Don't spend any money! We just bought a house!"
Was like 9 or 10, dropping the mail off at the drop box on the corner in Detroit. Dude came out of his house, I remembered hearing the heavy metal screen door open, and I turned to look just as he jumped off the porch running right at me with a knife.
Never ran so fast in my life.
Felt like an eternity but I finally made it to my house and broke down in front of my mom, who was sitting in our van waiting for me to get back so she could take us to school.
Morning started off like any other, don't even know why he did it. I think he was just freaking with me but holy hell lol.
1990 ... I'm 40 ... with climbers on North Rim, Grand Canyon.
Bedded down for the night way down in Saddle Pass.
9:30PM ... all peaceful ...
THEN ... in the pitch dark a flash flood roars through camp. Stones the size of VWs rumbling by.
From that day, I sleep one eye open and ALWAYS pack clean underwear 'cause this will make you crap your pants.
Yeah... crap went too 100 really fast.
Really wasn't that sick but something was bothering me so I went to the doctor. Went in to discuss the lab results and found out I had cancer. Dr. Had already started coordinating with the other doctors/surgeons that had to be in the Operating room, because I had to have major surgery. I had 10 doctors appointments in one week, another procedure and actually forgot to go to work.
Surgery was less than 2 weeks after diagnosis. Got a major infection within a week and back in the hospital. Started chemo six weeks after surgery Which rolled into radiation. An intense nine months.
I've been cleared but dealing with the aftereffects I have from chemo and radiation was not something I expected and is seriously taking a physical and mental health toll on me.
I was just sitting on a couch watching tv then i heard my grandma fall, and she literally ripped open her entire knee somehow. I had to call 911 and it was horrible.
About three days later they released her and as soon as she got home she passed out, I was the only one home with her and i had to call 911 again.
A week later she gets released and she has a SEIZURE and I had to call 911 AGAIN.
She fell a few times after that but nowhere near as bad as the first times, we still don't really know whats wrong.
When in June...
Sometime in June, rather hot weather, the eldest daughter got a mild case of a stomach bug. Wasn't anything we haven't dealt with before, she wasn't even throwing up anymore, just mild fever. At one point she falls asleep and I think, okay, let her sleep it off.
She wakes up 30 minutes later and I go check her temp. She went from 98.6 to nearly 104 during those 30 minutes of sleep. And as I am taking the thermometer away, her eyes just roll back in her head, and she keels over.
Massive seizure, bloody foam at her mouth, bitten through her tongue. Completely unresponsive, just trashing and convulsing. Call the ambulance, they arrive within 10 minutes, they sedate her and start to pack her up for the ride to the hospital. She goes into another seizure just as they're loading her into the back of the ambulance, despite being already sedated.
Spent 4 days in the hospital, multiple scans, the works. Turns out she has epilepsy and the seizures can be triggered by rapid fever.
My roommate had some friends over but my fiancé and I went to bed. I was dead asleep and about 3am my roommate bursts into my room and shouts RUSTY WAKE UP FRIEND JUST OD'D and runs out. I immediately jump up and sprint after him to find friend unresponsive on the floor of my roommates bathroom. We drag him out of the bathroom so I could lay him flat and oh damn he's not breathing. I shout back to my fiancé to call 911 right now and tell them Friend OD and he's not breathing.
So I give him a couple of rescue breaths and oh damn I can't find a pulse. He's freaking dead. So I initiate chest compressions. After a couple of rounds oh thank God he's got a pulse now, but still isn't breathing, so I switch to rescue breaths. The paramedics arrive and he sort of gasps for a breath but not effectively. So the medics slam him full of Narcan and he lived.
Watching a funny bar argument turn into a not funny bar shooting because one of the guy's girlfriend couldn't keep her mouth shut. Every time security calmed the two guys down she would get it started back up.
One minute I'm taking the back roads to work, come over a small rise, and hit a stretch where they had just laid gravel.
Next thing I know, my car is flipping through the air. According to a witness, did 3 complete flips. Utterly destroyed the car, front wheel torn and hatchback torn off, engine knocked loose, all the seats but the driver's broke free.
I cut my hand.
Parents took me involuntarily to the middle of nowhere for a year, led to me being a year behind my peers back home, and was threatened to leave us there to fend for ourselves, and that our mom would walk out on us if we didn't behave.
A fair ground ride malfunctioned and I was in the malfunctioning seat. It was summer so a lot of the employees were teenagers who just seemed to be glued to their phones in the control booth.
We're going up on a drop tower ready for the drop when suddenly the lock on my seat unlatched. The only thing keeping it from bursting fully up was the belt buckle which I believe was way too long.
I'm unfortunately a short dude so the moment it dropped I slipped out of the side and found myself gripping the handles for dear life. Guy next to me noticed and moved his leg twisting it like he was a mountain climber to keep me from falling further, person on the other side is holding my arm.
The freaking employee was on his phone with most of his back to the ride. People on the ground began to notice and got his attention even then it took him a minute to realise. Ride was cut short and we were let off so they could run maintenance.
It was fixed within a few hours though so I went back on it.
Baby Baby Baby
Super chill pregnancy. Mild morning sickness, a little back pain, everything else downright boringly normal. One lovely Thursday, we go for the routine 20-week ultrasound. Cute pics!
Not half an hour later, we get a call—there's an abnormality. They're referring us to a specialist. Half an hour after that, we get a call from the specialist.
She gives us the next available appointment; she apologizes that that's not until Monday. Monday rolls around. Baby has a great big tumor hanging off its lower back.
Life's kind of crazy now. Baby might die. My chances are better, but I might die, too. High-risk pregnancies are terrifying.
Hey Cuz...No Way Reaction GIF by Originals Giphy
Checked FB on a break at work and had a message from my cousin "Sorry to hear about your dad, he was a good man" That's how I found out my father died. 66 days later I get a phone call from the police dept. that they found my mother deceased in her apt.
May 2017: Came home from work early to find that my husband was/had been cheating on me. Knew at that moment that my life as I knew it for the last 20 years was over.
June 2017: Had to put the house on the market as I couldn't afford it by myself.
July 2017: Boss told all of us that he was selling the business and we were all out of a job.
August 2017: Moved into a condo and started a new job the very next day.
If it wasn't for needing to be strong for the kids I don't know how I would of made it.
Buckle up kiddies. It's going to be a bumpy life. You just have to learn to love life at one hundred miles an hour. At least when it doesn't revolve around tragedy.
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Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.