There's a lot of pressure each time our birthday rolls around. We want it to be special. Everyone enjoys knowing their friends and family care about them on their special day.
Of course, not ever year is going to be as good as the last. Everyone has had a boring party or a little mishap during their celebration. Maybe someone forgot your birthday but it didn't totally ruin the day.
But some people have had some absolutely awful experiences.
Users on Ask Reddit told us tales of everyone forgetting their birthday, being stuck in an airport, nose bleeds, arrests, and even some serious violence.
Redditor inanimateobjectfez01 wanted to know:
Reddit, what was your worst birthday?
Just when you think it couldn't get worse, it does. These stories will have you thanking your lucky stars that it didn't happen to you.
Forgotten and ignored.
"It was my 14th birthday and nobody in my family was around, my siblings were all out and my parents were on vacation, neither my family nor my friends called or texted me a happy birthday, I called up 2 girls (lets call them A & B) I was friends with (who also forgot it was my birthday)."
"I asked them to a movie, so I walked about 3 miles and met up with them at a movie theater, I paid for all our tickets and I paid for all their food, so we got into the theater and Girl A's boyfriend was there with his friend who Girl B found attractive. They all started a conversation to which I was left out of, during the movie they only paid attention to the 2 guys, about halfway through the movie I walked off, unnoticed (of course) and I began walking home, now broke and forgotten I got to experience a 3 mile walk home at 9pm in the pouring rain."
A birthday ends in disaster with her boyfriends arrest.
"My mom sent me a plane ticket to spend my 25th birthday visiting her in Hawaii. My live-in boyfriend Patrick, who was much beloved by myself and my family, unfortunately couldn't get the time off of work, so he stayed behind in South Carolina."
"Essentially I didn't hear from him for a couple of days, but was having too much fun to worry. On the night of my birthday, at a fancy restaurant, I got a call from our neighbor who was freaking the f*ck out."
"Our neighbor had witnessed my darling, hard working, loving, upstanding boyfriend running around the property barefoot and shirtless, crying and carrying what was obviously a crack pipe into the woods behind the houses. Patrick had then been seen hauling random electronics and art out of our house and into my car, which he drove off in, still barefoot and shirtless, leaving the front door wide open. When the neighbor couldn't get ahold of me, he went to go close our door. Inside, the house was destroyed. He said it looked like a hurricane had hit. Thousands of dollars of irreplaceable antiques were shattered or torn to pieces, and everything of value was gone."
"At this point I was sitting on the ground outside a very nice restaurant, in a fancy dress, having a full-on panic attack. I asked the neighbor if he might be mistaken. He sent me a photo of the living room and a picture of the empty driveway. I called Patrick immediately and only asked him if he was driving my car, which I had asked him not to do because his license was expired. He said no. I told him I knew he was lying because the neighbor had sent me pictures of the driveway. He then told me he had borrowed it to go to the store. I told him what the neighbor had told me and about the picture of the living room. He tried to deny it all and finally, hysterical, I hung up and said that if he didn't call me sober in the morning, I'd call the police. His last words to me were 'I love you, I don't know why Remmy (the neighbor) is lying to you, I'm going to f*cking kill him.'"
"Around four AM my phone rang. It was the cops. Patrick had stabbed our neighbor multiple times and tried to get away in my car. He was caught, charged with attempted murder and possession of crack cocaine, and I pressed charges for the theft of my car. Over the next few days it unfolded that he'd maxed out the cash withdrawals on my credit cards, emptied my bank account, and I was evicted from my house due to him trying to murder a neighbor. My car was impounded as evidence. Everything I owned that I hadn't packed for a week in Hawaii was either destroyed or locked in a house I wasn't allowed in by the leasing company (he obviously didn't use the rent money I left behind to pay the rent) and the police. Because the accounts were in both of our names, I had no recourse. I was now not just broke, but thousands of dollars in debt, homeless, and carless. I lost everything. Family heirlooms, collections I'd spent years accumulating, gifts from people who had passed away, everything."
"I decided to just stay in Hawaii and try to get my life back in order, since I was literally going home to nothing. I did exactly that and life is fine now, six years later. Patrick died two years ago of a drug overdose shortly after getting out of prison."
"The neighbor was okay, and mysteriously dropped the charges several months later. He never spoke to me again."
"Was there any signs that could have said he might do something like this? Or was it just completely out of the blue?"
"Completely out of the blue. The only thing I could think of, looking back, was that his ex-wife hated him pretty viciously. But everyone's ex hates them, ya know?"
Sick in Afghanistan during war.
"May 2011, Now Zad, Afghanistan. It was my 22nd birthday and probably one of the worst days of my life. I was extremely sick, liquids just spewing out of both ends of me. But as my Sergeant would say, 'This is war, so unless you're shot and about to die, your a** is going on patrol.' So here I am, my 22nd birthday, in the middle of bumf*ck Aftrashistan, sick as a dog, throwing up on patrol, taking liquid sh*t breaks and ripping my socks off to use as tp, it's like 130 f*cking degrees out."
"I should be stateside getting irresponsibly drunk and partying like a normal 22 year old. So, I'm praying to God we don't get shot at, I mean combat isn't exactly fun but this day especially I didn't feel like dealing with the Talibans bullsh*t. So yeah anyway we started taking mortar fire, and small arms fire. I'm already having a bad time trying to control my bowels, so yeah I sh*t myself...a lot ... because mortars. I did however find out that when adrenaline is pumping through your body you forget that you're sick, so there's that."
"Worst birthday ever."
"On the bright side, you didn't take a hit on your birthday with sh*t in your pants and vomit on your shirt."
Family really ruined this kids birthdays.
"I spent my 13th birthday at my parents' friend's families house because he had come from Mexico to visit us and he wanted to visit his family. They didn't have a tv or anything to do and I literally sat by myself in a room for a few hours trying to sleep, and then ate and then sat in the room by myself again for another few hours."
"14th birthday, my dad said he would buy me a PSP if I went to work with him on his birthday (he was a contractor). I did and he didn't buy me the PSP for a few months. All he told me after we got home from work was that he wasn't really going to buy me a PSP."
"When I was 7, my brother tried slamming my face into my cake but missed the cake and literally just slammed my face against the table, I started crying and got blood all over my cake. This happened again when I was 9."
"Recently I've been spending my birthdays with my friends and they've been much better."
Grudge against the weather man.
"My seventh birthday. I was going to have this big, awesome party at my house, it had a 3 acre yard so it was an awesome place for hide and seek, tag, etc. Anyways, the night before we watched the news and the weather man said that without a doubt it was going to rain. We called everyone and canceled the party and I ended up just sitting around my house alone for the day."
"It didn't rain even a little that day. I have held a grudge against that weather man for a long time and I believe it's what made me kind of avoid social gatherings all together."
A bad trip from start to finish.
"When growing up, I was in a professional children's choir that toured internationally. The week before my 13th birthday, we were in Hawaii for a festival of some kind with kids from around the world, which was awesome. I was super pumped for my birthday, it was on the day we were leaving but I didn't mind because I was going back to see my family!"
"The night before we left, we went to this dinner and I got a special birthday dessert. I kept dropping hints to my best friend that I wanted the live band there to sing me a birthday song, so she begrudgingly went up there and asked them. The lead singer looked at her, pointed at me, LAUGHED and shook his head. She then came back to the table and somehow tripped, hitting her hand on my bowl of ice cream, splashing that sh*t all over me."
"I started crying, so we were going to leave and just go back to the hotel. There was a limo outside and we excitedly tried to see if we had enough money to get it to take us back. We were two dollars short, and he left."
"We get back to the hotel and I find that my chaperone had taken the rest of my clothes to be put on the bus with my luggage so I had nothing to change into for the 15 hour flight home, no money left to buy anything and I was nowhere near the size of anyone to borrow clothes from. Whatever, soon enough I'll be home and it will be time to celebrate. SIKE! The plane has an electrical malfunction, so we wait. The plane is missing a screw from it's wing, so we wait for another one."
"We end up taking another flight to Las Vegas, where we watched slot machines in the airport for two hours before taking another flight backwards into California (?), have to sleep in the airport, we get airplane food for dinner and breakfast and they give us these little McDonalds breakfast vouchers for the "inconvenience". We have to wake up at 5 AM on the airport floor where we were sleeping to go to the opposite side where McDonalds was only for them to tell us they don't accept these vouchers."
"We finally get on the flight home, I'm just covered in sticky days-old chocolate ice cream, cold, sad. We get home, no one had properly updated our parents about the time delay (all they said was our flights were delayed many times) so no one was there to pick anyone up from the airport. My chaperone drove me home, where everyone was asleep and my "Happy Birthday" banner had been taken down because the day was technically over."
Parents Explain Why They Regret The Name They Gave Their Child | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Forced to be the cook.
"My 27th birthday (this year) was the worst birthday that I have experienced so far."
"I planned to simply celebrate my birthday at home with a few (about 5) friends with us grilling meats and cooking pizza in our brick oven, drinking beer, while listening to mellow tunes on a lazy afternoon. I had it planned with my friends for months and finalized who's bringing which, and who's doing what during our gathering."
"Since I still lived with my parents (I live in the Philippines and it's totally normal in our culture to live with your parents until you find someone to marry), I sought their approval to hold the party in our house weeks before the planned party."
"And here's how the storm starts brewing: a few days before my party, my dad tells me that he's invited a few friends over for the party as well. So I thought, "why not? he owns the house anyway and a few more well-wishers wouldn't hurt." Big mistake."
"On the day of the party itself, my father informed me that he invited more people and there would be about 10-15 more guests arriving and they would greatly appreciate it if we could also cook the food they brought since we were already 'booked' the grill and oven. Since I was the one who was voted to be the pit master by my friends, I had no choice but to accept."
"I ended up grilling for about 9 hours, almost non-stop, without anyone offering to take my place for even a short while. I didn't even have a chance to drink a cold beer because as my father said it 'you can't drink and drive because you'll be the one buying more drinks and food if ever we run out,' nor bond with my friends who I haven't seen for quite some time because of our own professional lives. The only breaks that I was able to 'enjoy' was when I went to the restroom, when I rode my car to buy more beers for my father's guests, and my short meal breaks. My friends and I also endured the loud noises that those obnoxious drunks made as they sang their songs with a guitar. So there you have it, my worst birthday celebration, so far."
Failed birthday party.
"Not mine but a birthday I went to. I received a text invitation to a birthday party from a girl I went to high school with with only a couple of days notice. I knew her and spoke to her a few times but we weren't great or even decent friends, we just knew each other. So I grab 2 other friends and we drive out to her house. Bare in mind her house wasn't crazy far away but still a 25 minute drive "Out to the sticks" in an area with tons of land and neighbors that are a little further away, so I guess driving out there put a few people off."
"I arrive a little later than the start time with my friends who didn't even know the girl and the party was desolate. There were 3 or 4 of her friends there already just sitting around. What made me feel sorry for her was that she obviously invited a lot of people because there were lots of chairs set up and tons of food. I say hi and thank her for the invite but she looks pretty distraught. My friends and I are talking to the girls outside while the birthday girl is nowhere to be seen. They resort to asking us to invite people or see if they're coming. We stayed for probably an hour and no one else turned up. Finally her mum comes out and tells us she decided to just stop the party and that we should go home. I haven't seen her since that party but I felt really bad for her."
"That's awful :( so sorry to hear that, even if it wasn't you. I'm glad you ended up going. My mom has a similar story from when she was in school, being the only one to show up to a girls party, who had clearly invited a large number. The girl ended up crying the entire time. if you genuinely can't make it, fine, but damn show up to a party and help make someone's day, of all days."
"I kind of had a crush on her which is partly why I went but I just liked going to parties and I knew I had no chance anyway. She was a nice girl but I guess she had a reputation of sorts. I think her friends were the MVP's of the night because they really comforted her."
"I was very young and I had been looking forward to going to Alton Towers (British theme park) for weeks. All my friends pulled out at the last minute so it was just me and my direct family."
"Everything seemed to be going ok, but I soon found out that my dad hates rollercoasters because they give him headaches or something. He's normally a friendly guy, but something I said must have set him off. My dad just starts screaming at me that nobody else but me even wants to be at the Theme Park and I shouldn't be forcing people to be unhappy for my own sake. He screamed at me until I started crying."
"So there's me, on my birthday without any of my friends, crying at the happiest place in the world."
Forced into a cult.
Hold onto your hats, this story is wild.
"I got woken up. Normal day at school, but I wasn't going. I remember telling people I was going to be "sick" for a while and had something wrong with my tailbone/spine. My brother went to school, he was told I had a doctor's appointment. At breakfast he was given a brand new cell phone (back when they were super super expensive and huge) and I went to my room and cried because it was my birthday and that was what I had wanted, because all of the cool girls had these black Motorola phones with displays on them and everything. I thought they were so cool and knew I was getting one because my church friend's dad worked at our country's biggest phone company and he always got us with stuff if we asked."
"After getting yelled at for crying, I had to get driven to my aunt-in-law's big house in the suburbs. I was given three bracelets with fake jewels in them before I went upstairs. They spent hours doing my hair and painting me and getting me into this outfit and making sure I looked perfect."
"Then we went downstairs to where my grandmother used to live. She was dead then so it was empty. They sat me down and started in on me. I can't really remember much beyond being interrogated for hours, made to say things I didn't mean, made to say I wanted my parents to leave each other. I remember that last one because they made a huge deal out of my mother being with my dad because he "took her down the wrong path" away from them. They wanted full rights to me and my brother and sister, etc to no avail. So they wanted me to sign stuff."
"My extended family put me into a cult they were in when I was five. On that day I was the proper age according to them and was chosen to be the one to have this child of a boy in there my age."
"We went to his house. His mother was actually really nice to me and reminded me of my own, but in a better way. I was wrong about that but that's not the point. I had to sign paper work saying he 'owned' me on his table and I remember being upset because the table wasn't good enough for me to write on and it kept wobbling."
"I was sat down in his room in a chair, and talked to by his parents and brother about how they wanted to welcome me into the family. His dad kept pacing and pacing and I remember something about motorcycles (big deal in my country) and how he was wondering if I wanted to be a part of the family by saying if he should buy a motorcycle or a new truck for his work. I told him a motorcycle and he said I could ride on it sometime. It was late summer and you could hear bugs in the bushes out of the window."
"They then left me to wait and it robbed me of my education. A normal life with happy memories."
"I never had the child. I am married happily now to another survivor of this and he is the first man I trusted since this happened. But on my birthdate he always makes sure that I get a little time alone to remember this."
"The night before my birthday my mom didn't come home, and if you look up my comment history you'll see that this wasn't unusual for my mom. I woke up on my birthday and went downstairs and my mom wasn't up but her car was in the driveway. I walk into my mom room and she's in bed with a cowboy hat next to her with another woman in the bed. I believe they had clothes on but they have covers on so I don't fully remember. I say mom and she doesn't respond. My older brother and I wait until they both wake up and we see its the woman that's being an awful influence on my mom. Mom and her are still drunk from last night and doesn't wish me a happy birthday until I remind her. She then drives her friend home and comes back several hours later, and she comes back with some gifts and a cake. She clearly forgot my birthday/gifts and couldn't even come home on time for my birthday."
These are terrible birthday's ruined by family and friends alike. Hopefully, their birthdays will only get better from here!
If you're suffering from a terrible birthday, here's a Wiki How to get over your bad birthday.
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Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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