Women Share The Creepiest Things Men Do Without Even Realizing
Being a creeper isn't always something people do on purpose. It's very possible to be minding your own business, just trying to live your life and be a good person, and accidentally make someone else uncomfortable. 8th grade me learned this while daydreaming on the really long bus rides home. It turns out I would zone out while staring at the person in front of me and to my left. Unfortunately the same kid sat there and it took almost three full weeks of daily stare-downs before he said something about it. I was the creep for almost a full month and had no idea! Sorry about that again, dude.
The thing is, I'm a four foot ten inch woman who could legitimately scare exactly nobody. At the time of my creeperhood, I was about four foot eight with poofy hair and enormous glasses, so again - not really scary. But my goodness how different might that person have felt if I was an adult man? My awkward innocent creepiness could have been full blown panic inducing creepiness to someone and I still may never have known it.
One Reddit user asked, Women, what is something creepy that guys do without noticing?
And the responses - which ended up coming from some men as well - really made us think. We gathered some of our favorite answers for you. Some are legitimately innocent, some are less benign.
Walking you home after a date without asking if she would like you to.
I know in the guy's head he's being a gentleman and making sure his date gets home safely. But really think about what you're doing. You're following someone home when you barely know them. That's the sort of thing you should make sure is welcome first.
It's fine to offer to walk someone home, but if they decline don't insist and do it anyway. They either don't want you to know where they live and/or they aren't interested in spending more time with you. Don't follow someone - anyone - back to their house if they don't want you to. That's where nightmares start.
Not a woman, but I guess hover guys. Like she is in a bar and there is one guy watching her from the distance. Feeling his stare she moves to another place in the establishment. Guess who will be close by to her new location? Yes that guy. To be fair that guy is probably not trying to be a creep, he likely is just very shy and struggling to make a move. He always finds excuses like: **"Oh she is talking to friends right now, better not interrupt." **
His indecisiveness and shyness keeps him in a state between approaching and not approaching, which makes him appear creepy.
I used to have an older male co-worker who would give me a creepy shoulder rub when he walked by my desk. Both hands.
One Redditor responded:
I had a coworker who would always do this to me. I'm male, by the way, but this guy was a good bit taller than me and would always do s* like this to me. Creeped me out so much. Please just don't touch me and let me work. You don't have to show me attention every time you walk past and, in fact, I'd appreciate if you didn't. Was so glad when that guy finally left.
I once had a dude listening when I was making a call to set up a doctor's appointment. I verified my phone number to the receptionist on the other end of the line, he heard it, wrote it down then later texted me. I had no idea who he was.
Were your sneaky tactics supposed to impress me, dude? Because they didn't. A woman's info isn't a god damned free for all for you to use.
Don't ever do this.
Complimenting With Insults
By telling me how pretty I am by insulting my friend. Like: **"You're way prettier than Becky!" **
Thanks, dick. How do you not realize that instead of "winning her over", you're turning us off by being a jerk and insulting friends?
Gym coaching. I'm a guy and I go to the gym regularly. I've seen a few men working out with women partners where they are obviously "coaching" them by keeping their hands on the woman's waist or somewhere else on her body while she goes through the motion of her exercise. Like, I really don't think she needs you to have your hands on her waist while she performs weight assisted pull-ups and you don't need to stand behind her and hold her while she does squats.
Touching my hair without consent. Don't Do it. Whenever I change my hair cut, color or style I invariably have men touching it. Girls squeal and tell me it's pretty then ask to touch it and don't push it if I say no. Guys (customers or coworkers) just reach out and touch it. I appreciate compliments, I really do, but why do you have to be touching my hair to tell me how nice it looks?
Not Helping Your Case
Get defensive to the point of anger when we point out ways in which they're making us uncomfortable.
Really not helping your case, my dudes.
Telling me that I would make a good "housewife" or that you want to take me back to your house when I'm just doing normal cleaning up at work. Do you see the male employees wipe counters and tell them they'd be great "househusbands" or that you want to take them home?
Don't people get how they're coming across?
Eavesdropping on conversations just to get an "in" to start talking. This weekend my friends and I went to a bar and were waiting in line to order our drinks. One of our friends had gone to the bathroom and was going to meet us in line. The friend I was standing with and talking to said something to the effect of "I wonder what Lauren wants me to order her?" during our conversation. When Lauren approaches, the guy that was standing behind us says "oh you must be lauren" even tho we haven't talked to him at all. He then starts asking us all where we're from and trying to small talk. This doesn't make you seem attentive, it makes you seem creepy and desperate.
Do not call a woman a yummy mommy, MILF, naughty mommy or any other term that sexualizes the fact I have children. It's creepy!
When you've made every nonverbal signal that you aren't interested and they approach you anyway or just linger around staring. If I am avoiding eye contact, cross my arms/frown, or if I see you approaching and move or change my direction... I'm not interested. This happens especially with guys in their 50s-70s at my gym, I make it very obvious I'm not interested, and then try to shut down the conversation that happens inevitably anyway, but they just keep. talking. and then trail you (still talking) if your try to physically remove yourself from their presence.
I'm a dude but i laugh so hard when i see guys act thirsty as hell on Social Media. Y'know the guy who comments heart eye emojis, says "Damn" or tries to start a conversation on photos.
"Damn, girl. That oatmeal with fresh fruit and cinnamon is straight ????. I wouldn't mind waking up to anything you do in the morning ????????????"
(this hurt me to type)
You Can't Force Gifts
Buying me stuff and then refusing to stop when I ask them to. Nothing ever comes for free. And when they inevitably try to make a move some how I'm the rude heartless bitch that was taking advantage of them and leading them on. I explicitly asked them to STOP BUYING ME STUFF then had to move to actually throwing it away in front of them. They never got the hint and turned this into my fault for 'sending mixed signals'.
Turn Down The Volume
I wonder if dudes realize how scary it is when they raise their volume in conversation. I had a roommate that was a big guy, 6.5 feet and probably 250 lbs, fairly intimidating stature. He'd always talk to girls he had over with his booming voice and wondered why none of them stayed.
Guys do this to each other all the time, your voice just gets louder and louder until you're shouting. And nobody is even mad. Just passionate about the conversation.
"I Look Constipated"
Don't make prolonged eye contact in the mirror at the gym with strange women. It can get weird pretty fast. I look constipated half the time when I lift weights, not really looking to bat my eyelashes in return.
Where's My Hug?!
Demand a hug after the first meeting. We may have only said 3 words to each other but they ALWAYS want a hug. Some people are huggers, some are not. If she doesn't want a hug, offer a respectful hand shake. It's more about demanding it. The whole "where's my hug?!" is super creepy. Just read the signals. I'm a hugger too, but it's pretty easy to tell when someone doesn't want to be hugged.
I love being hugged, the vast majority of guys I know hug me, and 99% of the time, I'm down for that snug. If you notice that they step back or stiffen up, don't do it. Don't do it if you don't know them well, or if they seem like they're trying to leave the conversation.
If they're friends, and return the hug, go for it. The world needs more hugs.
I work for Dollar General so pretty much every old man who makes a semi sexual or flirty comment to be 'nice'. One example was a time I asked an old man if he was ready to check out and he responded with: "What? Oh, yes! I'm always ready! Ready to stay, ready to go home, especially if it's with someone as pretty as you."
In another incident with a different man, I had accidentally gotten dust across my chest while holding a step stool. Instead of nicely telling me, an older man just continued staring at my chest and said: __"If anyone is staring at your nice big boobs, it's because of all of the dust." __He never even looked up at my face.
The one that really got me was one particularly creepy and blatant regular who needed something, so I told him to hang on and I would be right with him. I was holding things and needed to put them down. Instead, he came walking towards me and looked me up and down really obviously while saying:
"No, no. You can stay right there..."
They are all aware I'm 18.
Get way too close in my personal space to the point where they're almost touching me when I don't even know them.
This happens to me all the damn time at work. Guys come up so close behind me when I'm cleaning or stocking that I conveniently bump into them with my a** when I go to stand up. Or they conveniently get to touch me when I turn around on "accident." I can't complain to management because it does look like an accident.
I feel like some sort of petting zoo animal with how many men (It's never women, somehow) manage to "accidentally" put their hands all over me every day.
Guy at my school I noticed if he's in front of me walking and sees me he'll slow down so I can pass him. I tested this last week by slowing down as he slowed down. We both practically stopped walking entirely. I told him to stop staring at my a**/ he's not slick. His face went red.
It's not the looking at my a** that bugs me. I look at guys too. It's staring or changing your course to get a better look that I have an issue with. If I see a hot guy and go out of my way to look at him some more then I'm being a creep. If I look and keep going as normal, that's not creepy. That's my concern with this guy. He's making it a habit to alter his path to stare at me some more.
We've all said something stupid, let's not lie to ourselves.
It's okay to say something stupid. It showcases the real person on the inside, that we're all flawed, imperfect, and made of cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily line up to make sense. Sometimes we're nervous in a situation, other times we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out doens't work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life.
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are. Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off cutting off any human contact henceforth going forward. These are rough to get through, folks.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say, however, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame.
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The advice "fake it til you make it," though often said with at least a hint of sarcasm, does carry quite a bit of wisdom.
By simply putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the chaos of not knowing what's happening as you learn as fast as possible, we can find ourselves further than we expected.
Once we're there, reaping the fruits of all our "faking," we somehow begin to take on a new identity in people's eyes They assume we've always been in control and known what was going on. They defer to us for advice.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. So we keep on faking it.
Redditor espectro11 asked:
"What's your 'I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far' moment?"
Many Redditors discussed their experiences navigating the intimidating environment of job applications, interviews, and offers.
Oh Right, Getting Paid
"I gave my resume to fancy private school (I'm a teacher, but new to the field) and I didn't expect a call back. But they called me today to ask my expected salary and I said 'I don't know what the average is. Let me Google it.' "
"Ya girl was not prepared."
"When I went for a walk-in interview looking like crap and they hired me on the spot. I get they were hiring for a new store, but they up and said 'if you want the job it's yours, when can you start?' "
"Deada** didn't think I'd make it that far."
Outside the Box
"Years ago I was applying to a bunch of copywriting jobs and feeling frustrated because I wasnt hearing back from any of the places I was applying to."
"It was especially frustrating because I was putting in all this time on cover letters and I felt like nobody was even reading them, so I said, 'Fu** it, I'm gonna write one that is more me.' I thought it was a dumb idea and never imagined that it would work, but somehow it did."
"I applied with this cover letter and the subject line "Copywriter: Will Work for Beer" to a job that I was very underqualified for. It managed to catch the eye of the headhunter for the ad agency and was enough to get me an interview. Shortly after that I was hired and ended up working there for a few years, but I remember thinking on my first day, 'I can't believe that actually worked.' "
Just Not the Right Fit
"An interview at Google. The 20 years younger than me was describing the peer review system."
"I responded with 'Jesus, that sounds awful.' "
"I did not get the job."
Others also shared experiences that centered on their working lives. But these stories weren't about being hired or interviewed.
These were accounts of long-developing success stories that they never would have predicted.
A Winding Road
"My entire legal career"
"I have four degrees and a 10 year career in commerical litigation. I just wrapped up a $200mil trusts lawsuit."
"I started at uni doing theatre and stand up comedy. I have no fu**ing idea where I turned to get here."
"Started at a very small company doing sales straight out of college. I went about messaging big corporate players (who obviously would never do business with us since our size) and was laughed at by my new colleagues for even trying."
"2 weeks later My boss was asking me what we (a team of 6) should say on the conference call with Toshiba Buyers."
Putting Fires Out
"Me at work. I feel like every issue that comes up has me unprepared. But I am always praised for my good work."
"So, I assume I have imposter syndrome and keep doing what I am doing."
So next time you find yourself ruling a possibility out completely, maybe take just a few seconds to imagine it actually occurred and prepare.
You just never know.
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I'm going to be perfectly honest––I'm a city boy. I'm not a huge fan of hiking or camping. I happen to be a huge fan of running water. Have you heard of it? It's great. Highly recommended.
I've also, on a more humorous note, watched far too many horror films over the years and don't particularly like idea of running off into the woods only to piss off some demon that was perfectly fine until I arrived. I also have immense respect for our friendly neighborhood serial killers and demonstrate this regularly by staying out of their territory.
Those who love the great outdoors had plenty to share after Redditor Your_Normal_Loser asked the online community, "
Hikers of Reddit, what is the weirdest or creepiest thing you've come across while hiking?"
"The only reason..."
"When we were exploring the Australian Outback as university students, my friend and I found an old, tightly wrapped plastic bag with five or six damaged wallets along shrubbery at the base of a cliff.
The only reason we opened it up was because we were so remote - hundreds of kilometres from any town or tourist attraction - that it was strange to see garbage out there. All the cards were in female names and birthdates placed them in their late teens to early 20s. Some lived in the Northern Territory but one was in Sydney and another from Queensland. At the time we figured rock climbers must have stored their valuables in the bag and then lost track of it. I'll never forget the strange look the police officer gave us when we handed them in."
You see... this is why I wouldn't go mess around in the Australian Outback.
I also may or may not have watched Wolf Creek one too many times.
"A recliner on a small hill with a hole dug out in the middle and water bottles all over the place."
"A trashed campsite..."
"A trashed campsite complete with the tent cut open...
...do you report these things, or what?"
Or maybe not... you might want to turn back.
"The walls were completely plastered..."
"I was walking in a thick forest and came across an opening. In the center there was a shack made of lumber, with a bench built into it that was slightly leaned back.
The walls were completely plastered in porn."
Well... that's one way to get off.
"The man stopped talking..."
"I was backpacking with a few friends. A few days in the middle of nowhere, a man approached our camp as we were cooking dinner to say hi. We talked about our routes for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, he told us that he had had a vasectomy in his 30s after his 2nd child. Then somehow his wife had gotten pregnant with his 3rd child. He didn't believe this was possible, so he demanded a DNA test to see if he was actually the father. He was. Still, he explained that he had his doubts and thought that his wife must have fixed the DNA test.
My friends and I were in our 20s and had no idea why this guy was telling us this. We all just nodded and smiled.
The man stopped talking and then just walked away into the night."
"I stepped in..."
"I stepped in and fell over a cow carcass on a night hike. It was a bright moonlit night but I didn't see it in the shadows. Thankfully it was mostly dry."
"We still have no idea..."
"I was in the woods with three friends at night. A friend's house was nearby and I was getting hungry so I went inside to find some food. Another friend came inside with me. Two friends were still outside.
Later on, one of the two who outside came in and sees the indoor friend on the couch next to me. They panic and immediately run back outside.
I poke my head out the door asking what's going on, only to hear them yell as loudly as they can, "THAT'S NOT KEVIN"
Everyone comes inside and calms down a bit, and the story comes out. They thought the friend who was indoors with me (Kevin) had been outside with them this entire time. Why? Because in the darkness of the woods they saw a silhouette about the same height walking alongside them silently, then at some point it ran away and they were chasing it thinking Kevin was running off for some reason. The reason my friend yelled, "That's not Kevin" was to stop the last outdoor friend from chasing whoever was out there deeper into the woods.
We still have no idea who that was or why they didn't even speak."
This story sent a chill running down my spine.
Who was that?!
Perhaps figuring it out would be even scarier.
"Went hiking with my dad..."
"Went hiking with my dad one day over a ridge. A girl from the group in front of us tripped and slid down one side and was just able to hold on to the tiniest branch from the only tree around. Had she slid down all the way she certainly would be dead or massively injured!"
"I was trying to make my way across..."
"I was hiking in Washington sometime in December. I was trying to make my way across a river but the bridge was out. I was walking along the shore looking for a shallow spot but couldn't find one. I saw some footprints leading down the bank, my thought was that someone was trying to do what I was doing and decided to track the prints to see if they crossed. It was not easy but I followed the prints for about a mile. As I approached what looked like a crossing I heard a loud BANG like a stick hitting a tree. I froze for a few seconds and heard no other noises. I just slowly back up keeping my eyes on the other side of the river. Could not shake the feeling that I was being watched. Got the hell out of there quick as I could."
There are few feelings creepier than the feeling of being watched. It makes you feel like you've been violated in some way.
Thankfully you got out of there!
"I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment..."
"I was hiking with some friends, and I saw a cluster of butterflies on the ground. I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment until I realized they were congregating on a pool of blood. It turns out that someone had been hiking on the bluffs above earlier that day, and had fallen off and died."
Sooo... still want to go hiking or camping? None of this changed your mind? None of it?
It was nice knowing you. I'll stick with my running water.
Have some creepy stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Have some experiences of your own? Have you also survived the hospitality industry? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!
Time is of the essence. And time is not definable. Those are lessons we learn as we get older; as times passes and fluctuates in front of us.
Time is always fleeting yet always catches up to us. I find myself shocked when I wake up on certain days and realize I'm a particular age of my parent that sticks out for me.
Like, how did that happen? I guess I should just be thankful I'm still here to witness it all.
Redditor u/TW1103 wanted to discuss the meaning... of time and all of its affects by asking:
What fact really puts the scale of time into an insane perspective?
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy
"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV TimeSeason 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Storywilliam shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy
"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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