Women Break Down Their Ideal First Dates

First dates can be a lot of pressure. You barely know the person you’re going out with, and maybe you’ve talked a bit in person, but this is the first time you’re going to be with them one-on-one for an extended period of time.

The activity can make or break a first date.

Sometimes, a relationship that could’ve been really special never even starts because the first date was bad.

I like to walk around New York City on dates, and duck into whatever store or restaurant looks interesting. It’s a good way to get to do something you’ve always wanted to but never had a chance to (on one of my first dates, walking around the city led us to get our fortunes told), and it’s a great way to get to know the other person.

The women of Reddit have their own ideas on what an ideal first date would be, and they’re ready to share!

It all started when Redditor PhantomHydraPH asked:

“Girls of Reddit, what would be your ideal first date?”

The Supernatural Treatment

"Beer followed by ghost hunting and then ending the date at 8am over crappy diner breakfast."

– SeattleCoffeeRoast

Just Keep Moving

"Early on we had what my wife refers to as the epic date. Started with lunch, then a movie, then rock climbing, then dinner, then swing dancing, then back to her place. Was like 12 hours total. Figured anyone that could up with me that much was a keeper."

– Dyolf_Knip

The Great Escape

"A guy actually took me to do an escape room on the first date. It was actually pretty cool because not only was it an activity where we had something to focus on/break the ice, but was able to gauge how we would solve problems together right off the bat. Didn't work out with the guy past the second date but I always thought as far as first dates go it was a pretty good idea!"

"Bonus: weren't able to have our phones in the escape room so no distractions. Also they take a picture of your escape room group after so if the relationship worked out you have a cute pic from your first date :)"

– Successful-Income-22

""If we don't succeed, we'll have to be TOGETHER FOREVER!!!""

– ImpracticallySharp

Time For A Getaway

"Something casual that doesn’t have a big time commitment. Drinks, coffee, ice cream, or lunch/dinner"

– Appropriate_Tea9048

"I took my now girlfriend to a rooftop bar for drinks and apps. Spent the entire night talking. It was super chill and casual , it didn't feel like a date."

– Zomb1stuv

"Hey so - yeah, that worked for me. We did like a 7 or 8:00 coffee and dessert chill get together at a place that I knew of that well, had really good both. That was my last ever 2nd date, been together 12 years now."

"Its all upsides as far as I'm concerned: No pressure of a full dinner or anything, less formal, also some people are self conscious about what they order or eat in front of another person so it kind of eliminates that anxiety. The place itself is a conversation catalyst - if you pick someplace kind of neat, notice things about it, talk about what you like and don't like. If you've never been there before, "hey check this out" comes up a lot, or "hey, I've been here before and this one thing was *amazing* or "I've been wanting to try this since last time I was here" and all that."

"I should preface by saying that wasn't our FIRST first date, our first one was I met up with two and two of her friends someplace. First off, I left a good impression by not being surprised or mad she brought friends. We met online. You don't know anything about me but what I've told you, I totally get that you don't want to meet a guy alone for the first time. I managed to keep the whole both entertained for a while before it was time to head out."

"Lets keep this rolling: 2nd date should be something fun, not necessarily evening. For example every Saturday in the summer our town has a Riverfront Market with tons of vendor booths, food trucks, its pet friendly, farmers market stuff, live music and all that. Great place to just walk around and browse, grab a coffee or a pretzel, and just see what's going on. You still have something to *do* together so you're less likely to stall and feel on the spot, and you can get a feel for their interests and personality walking around in a place like that. See what they comment on or show interest in, and they can do the same. Its even better if you run into people you know."

– sohcgt96

Be Seen

"Somewhere public, but not crowded or organized. Like a fair or a festival where we can just walk around and chat and maybe go on a ride or play some games. I like rollercoasters so if you are close to an amusement park of some kind that'd be nice. It's going to differ for each woman though, I'm more wild and fun-loving!"

– TheTurbulentTeacher

"Somewhere public, but not crowded or organized"

"So not an MLM recruiting seminar. Got it."

– ncconch

Healthy Competition

"Putt putt! I think some type of activity with a little competition is a fun way to break the ice. Putt putt requires some skill but a lot is also luck so anyone can do it."

– summoe

"That sounds fun. I enjoy games."

– OriginalDarkDagger

"Something mildly competitive but mostly just fun, like going to an arcade, or one of those axe/knife throwing places, bowling or something like that. Then drinks and a bite. But really, if someone actually thought out ahead of time a plan to take me anywhere and then did it I’d be psyched no matter what we did."

– petrichor-punk


"On the first date, I do a identification check, résumé check, credit check, diploma/certification check, and a charge for my time. It’s crazy out there and those platforms lie."

– Likeitisouthere


"Whatever you do, don't take a girl on a "mystery surpise date!" that ends up being a nude beach, and then ask her to film you nakedly frolicking in the sea. This should not be followed up by a lunch at Panda Express where you give her very detailed stories of your (limited but bizarre) sexual encounters. Also, do not drag her to a Best Buy store after lunch so you can watch free TV on the displays."

"(I never again allowed a guy to pick me up for a date 👀)"

– fancifulsnails

"Oh my god, I am laughing but crying at the same time because yeah, how about NO! Does NO! work for you?"

"Also, always have your own transportation for a date in case you need to leave for reasons."

– eddyathome

Do Something

"Yea bowling, museum, then some food and talking is the way. As I have a bit of a hard time opening up with people, when it's just sitting across from each other the whole time. Need a bit of an activity, to loosen things up a bit. Also interesting to see if they are a sore loser, or willing to share techniques on how to do something. Just small ways, to see more about the person's character. As opposed to eating first and wondering if the other person, is putting on a front for you or not."

– LurkingAintEazy

"I agree with this. It should be casually competitive and random. Axe throwing would be fun."

– Burrito_Loyalist

Just One Date

"Drinks and a chat in a random pub, where we’ll play pool and I will demonstrate how cool and breezy I am and then to a gig where I will proceed to show you how uncool I actually am and then we fall in love so I never have to go on a first date again"

– NinetysRoyalty

Simple Works Too

"Married lady here, my first date with my now-husband was going to see a movie we both knew would be kinda bad, then grabbing drinks and a quick bite at a casual restaurant across the street."

"First dates don't have to be fancy, you don't need to pull out all these stops to woo the lady or ~sweep her off her feet~, you just have to be good company. It's all about the connection, not how much you spend or how romantic you make it."

"Also, just a bit of advice, a first date should always always always be in public, with other people around. Not a hangout at your place, and not a walk in the woods."

– VisualCelery

Stop And Smell The Roses

"Botanical garden!"

– yuzuandgin

"I’m liking this one. I’m convinced a botanical garden would force everyone to focus on the plants, weather, surroundings, etc. And in my experience, everyone’s living this hectic go-go lifestyle that it’s really lovely to see someone stop and admire plants, their leaves, etc. I’ve gone to a few botanical gardens, and the amount of times I’ve gotten caught up in smelling a flower or comparing my hand to the size of a humongous leaf, it’s fun! Also, one of the most attractive men I ever met would really stop in his tracks to admire the skyline and his surroundings, and his responses were genuine. Caught me off guard..."

– JminusRomeo

"I also like this. I love taking pictures of nature walking alone at a leisurely pace. If I found someone who also enjoyed this, that'd be more fun. Maybe they'd suggest a photo I would have thought of. They'd probably be more relaxed in general as a person. It also means talking about nature. People who enjoy nature are usually pretty cool."

– eddyathome

Read, Read, Read!

“Did this once with an ex. Went to a bookstore, looked around at the books and talked about what we had read etc, then we went and had a drink at a nearby bar. Then, each of us briefly got up from the table went back to the bookstore and got a book for the other person that we thought they would like. And then we discussed why we thought they would like the book over those drinks. It was really fun.”

– WhoIsYerWan

“This is good because it shows the other person you actually listened to them and thought about them. Also, books.”

– eddyathome

“Also interchangeable with coffee if drinks are not an option.”

– WhoIsYerWan

“Two bookworms' shared dream eh?”

– youraveragemasochist

Books and coffee? Sign me up!

Do you have an ideas to add? Let us know in the comments below.

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