Finding a life partner is hard.
Why do the movies lie to us?
And so many more people are choosing life alone.
I guess that not having to share a bed thing is a real plus.
Redditor TheSilverKnight711 wanted to hear from all the single ladies... and gents... and everyone in between. They asked:
"What’s stopping you from having a partner in life?"
I'm just not that into any of it. I'm also tired. That's just me. And you?
Me
For Me GIF by Lil Yachty
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"Me, myself and I."
F1r3Phoen1x
"Try trusting all three of them."
TaintModel
Tough
"Trust issues."
DrMannulus
"That’s such a tough way to live. It took me until my 40’s to realize that the main person who didn’t like me was myself. Took me a few years to talk myself around to liking me and then loving me. Now I am able to be less critical of other people too. (If I’m judging others, then I must expect to be judged too) My life is less stressful and I’m actually happy."
hen1bar
Meh
"Currently I'm making 0 effort to do so. Haven't been interested in anyone in a while."
Angel_OfSolitude
"Same, I hate online dating cause I can't tell what peoples personalities are and Im not on most forums of social media. 'Im obviously still on reddit but I have nothing else besides snapchat."
"I also work a lot as well, so pretty much the only time I come in contact with new women in my life is like at the grocery store. I don't drink much but I feel like I need to start hitting bars or college parties or something though. Im not even in college but It seems like it's the only way to meet women around my age without social media."
"Or just approaching random ones in the store. I just feel like unless I just actively 'hunt' for a date I won't ever find one. Which sucks cause I'd rather meet women organically, rather than just trying to hit up someone you see cause they might have potential based on looks."
thepastyprince
Happy
"The idea that I'm happy by myself."
Dvmbledore
"It's definitely a confidence thing. People in relationships don't need others' approval nearly as much - this translates to more confident, less needy behavior that signals to others that you're self-assured and comfortable with yourself. That's very appealing."
theragingletter
in-between...
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"I'm in that awkward in-between area where I've got too much self-worth to settle for someone who's going to ruin my life and not enough self-worth to let a good person love me."
JACofalltrades1
There really is no rhyme or reason to it all. Is there?
Blah
annoyed GIF
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"My personality. I get bored really fast, and don’t think it’ll be fair to the other person. My friends say it’s because I haven’t met the right person, maybe true, but I don’t want to risk it."
mapeci77
"the rest of my life"
"Not being able to find someone that I can forsee the rest of my life with."
nuovi
"When I was dating in the 1970s, 'the rest of my life' was my standard statement to myself. Sure he was great to be around, but could I put up with him for the rest of my life? For my one, yes, except it was for the rest of his life. He died in January after being married for 44+ years. Simple comparison: Could I live with him in lockdown?
EC-Texas
"attractive"
"I'm not the best in social situations and I feel like I have nothing to offer."
JukeBoxHero1997
"Just a heads up: you absolutely have something to offer. Whether you're good at socializing or not, just show someone kindness and respect."
"And be there for them, and if they are available and attracted to you then you'll be everything they need. And I don't mean like you have to be physically 'attractive,' but like the person actually is down to hang out with you. Either way, you have worth and someone would be happy to love the sh*t out of you if you let them. :) "
SteveNJulia
Terrible
"I'm a really terrible partner. I've put multiple people through absolute hell, because they have normal expectations in relationship. I require a lot of alone time, sometimes I just want to sleep by myself. sometimes I like traveling by myself. I can get super depressed and withdraw."
"I've learned now that I have to keep things casual and I'm probably not meant to be a typical relationship where you build a life together and live together all the time. Also, I'm sure it's just modeling because my mom and stepdad live separately and just go on dates, so unless I find someone who loves being alone as much as me (unlikely) I guess I'm just over here vibing."
LadySovereign
Too Good
Which One Reaction GIF by Audible
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"Vacillating wildly between 'I'm not good enough for this person, and it’s only a matter of time before they find out,' and, 'I’m too good for this person, I will never be satisfied.' Often, multiple times on the space of a single afternoon."
robbycakes
Ask them to hang out?
"My desire hasn't overtaken the expectations of effort required."
haijak
"The effort can be pretty ridiculous. I re-entered the dating pool somewhat recently after being in a relationship for most of my adult life and holy s**t is it terrible. People expect you to know exactly what they want when they want and if you mess anything up then they'll move on to someone else. Ask someone out too early? You're weird. Ask them out too late?"
"They're not interested any more - you missed your chance. Ask them to hang out? Too vague - no. Ask them on a dinner date? Too specific and too much pressure. Everyone has different expectations and people are so unforgiving if you can't figure it out. I'm told pretty frequently that I'm attractive and have other good qualities and yet I'm terrible at dating. The whole process is so confusing and demoralizing. I stopped trying after a while."
thequietthingsthat
I Know this pain...
"Self sabotage."
acid_vision_
"I’m very positive I do this unconsciously whenever I date. I seem to be very attracted to people that are either unstable, they don’t know what they want or emotionally immature. It’s like my brain wants me to be alone forever."
cemeterykitten
at a loss...
"I'm not the kind of sociable that goes out of his way to meet people for that reason. I don't care for bars or parties for instance. It's not that I don't want someone, it's that I don't really know how/what to do. And since I'm a male, it's doubtful a girl would risk it herself and pursue me. So yeah... at a loss."
Tijain_Jyunichi
Today's Crush
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"Getting hyper-fixations on people and then being disappointed when they are normal people. Just today had a crush on my young orthodontist - like 5/6 years older than me cause he was nice while fitting new retainers."
DaffodilGoofyDuck
"I do this except only ever with one person lol. I’ve only ever been truly attracted to one person. I still have a long time so I imagine it’ll happen again, but I still thinks it’s weird when people my age by this point have ex counts in the double digits."
Entercheesynamehere
No Interest
"I simply don’t have the energy to provide and love someone unconditionally at this point of time in my life. I want to grow as an individual and love myself first. I choose to not be in a relationship for that purpose because it would be completely unfair for them."
Sienna-hart
Apps are a joke...
"I have no idea how to meet people. Apps are a joke, I don't drink so I have no reason to be in a bar, and the only friends I have are on discord so no group activity stuff. My one hobby outside of gaming (hiking) is also very solo focused with me not even encountering another person for most of the day... I've just given up and accepted that I'm just not meant to ever find anyone."
zose2
I Don't Need You
"The question isn't what's stopping it from happening. It's more that having a life partner is a huge commitment that I don't really want to enter with anyone that I know, nor am I really seeking out someone that could fulfil that role because it's not a net positive to be in a relationship. I really enjoy not being beholden to anyone, and someone would have to overwhelm that for me to want to be with them long term... I think I'd prefer to just have some really good friends."
PastaBakeWizard
"capable"
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"I'm not in as much of a rush as I used to be. My focus is on patching up the holes in my life so I can love myself first."
"I've been mentally checked out for a while. Too many pressures, too many thoughts, and too much self-neglect. I'm steadily getting back into a comfortable feeling. Just recently started feeling 'capable' again. Maybe someday I'll find someone, but it's no longer a do-or-die event for me."
Tylrt
Toleration
"I'm at the age where I should have my life figured out at this point, but I don't. My peers are generally already established in life and are rightfully looking for a partner who's on their level. Couple that with bad attachment insecurities, and it would be cruel to get another girl a tangled up in this hot mess haha."
"Anyone in this thread though should look at their reasons and try to work on them earnestly. I am currently and hope to one day get to a place in life that maybe someone might tolerate me long enough to give me some head pats or whatever people in relationships do. It's tough, like really tough, to not have someone for this long, but you can only march forward."
lastcallcarrot
Alone is ok as long as you're ok. So be ok alone.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.