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Why People Had To Break Up With A Good Friend

Reddit user Abby1006 asked: 'Have you ever “broken up” with a friend? Why, and what was the aftermath?'

Two men on the beach giving each other high five
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Some people remain best friends with the same friends they made in preschool, or earlier.

Other friendships fade away, as people move on with their lives and lose touch.

But even if these people don't see each other as often as they once did, they would still likely consider themselves "friends", and would be happy should their paths ever cross again.

There are some friendships, however, which do not stand the test of time.

What's more, in some extreme cases, these friendships ended because of a very pointed decision by one or more people.

What some might even consider a "breakup."


Redditor Abby1006 was curious to learn why some people felt the need to break up with close friends, and what happened after, leading them to ask:
"Have you ever 'broken up' with a friend? Why, and what was the aftermath?"

Not The People They Once Were

"I stopped hanging out with all my friends because they all changed."

"They were nothing like how they were when I met them."

"I looked at them as my brothers but they've become what we all swore to never become and dragged me into it."

"Nothing but doing drugs, selling drugs, robbing people."

"I just decided to walk away before I became exactly like them and moved on with my life."

"I wish they could be how they once were but I know that isn't gonna happen."- SuddenCheesecake3273

Lack Of Reciprocity

"Yeah I realized my 'Treat others the way you want to be treated' approach was one-sided."

"I helped someone through some real rough patches, and when I went through some dark times they were nowhere to be seen."- fuifui_bradbrad

"Pretty much all of my high school friends and some other friends I met through work or mutual friends."

"I kept feeling like it was a 'one way' friendship."

"I would be the one texting them to hang out but I would never get texts from them to hang out."- GoldenGod48

Unervalued

"I recently cut off my childhood best friend because he views me as an ATM."

"I don't care about money."

"If I can help someone out, I will with 0 hesitation, but I refuse to be taken advantage of."

"My breaking point was when he was finalizing his wedding party and told me that I was a backup groomsmen in case anyone cancels."

"We've known each other since we were 10 years old and have always kept contact even when he moved away, but I'm not important enough to be one of the first people considered to be there."

"During that same conversation, he said that he'd still expect me to attend and hinted at wanting a cash gift from me."

"We haven't spoken in a couple of months, and I hope that trend continues for the foreseeable future."- morganfreenomorph

No Room For Negativity

"Had a buddy in school who was a really nice guy but the absolute most negative person ever."

"Everything was bad and awful, never ever stopped complaining."

"Walked into the library - too cold, walked outside, too hot, standing in the atrium - windows 15 feet up were dusty, lights inside were too blue but the wooden desks made things too yellow."

"Never stopped."

"School was stressful enough and eventually I changed my study group and location so I want around him and I just felt a whole lot better and light and happy."

"Sometimes you have to be selfish and say that if things/people aren’t making your life better, cut them out."- Dr_D-R-E

Manipulative Influence

"Man I'd called my brother since we were 5 (we're 28 now)."

"He was one of the cool kids and stayed my friend (the socially awkward weird kid)."

"Joined the marines after school, came home, and met a girl who had a kid."

"We drifted apart here and there from 21-25 but still kept contact and hung out once in a blue moon."

"I asked him to be my best man."

"He obviously said yes."

"His S/O didn't like me."

"At the time, I didn't know why."

"My wedding starts to near, i text him telling him we REAAALLLY need to go get fitted for tuxes, get a text a day or so later essentially saying he was out because of xyz."

"This was very out of character for him."

"Time passes."

"My wife and I celebrated our 1st anniversary."

"I'm outside doing stuff in the driveway, a guy that i don't even recognize walks up."

"It's him."

"We talk for a minute, and he starts breaking down, grabbing him, and we go inside."

"We talked for a while. In short he was at a mental breaking point, constantly manipulated by his now fiancé, wont let him get a job because 'she needed him at home to help her anxiety'."

"I offered him an out, gave him a place to stay as long as he needed and gave him a vehicle to drive in the mean time."

"Offered to get him a job with a good friend of mine."

"He stayed with me for a couple of days, his SO shut his debit card off, shut his phone service off, etc."

"But she would turn his phone back on to torment him."

"He came and went from my place a couple of times over those next couple of months."

"But he was stuck in an abusive relationship."

"He kept going back to his abuser."

"Telling me shed claim I did all sorts of stuff."

"Then i came home, and he and his stuff were gone."

"I texted him a day or two later, just saying, 'You good buddy?'"

"Got a text back saying how 'he couldn't hang out with me anymore and didn't like how we talked about SO when we were together, and how awful it was that we would ever do that'."

"This was written by his SO without a shred of doubt."

"The last thing I texted him was 'I don't know if i believe all that based on our conversations, but like I've said 100 times, I just want you happy and healthy if thats what it takes, then thats what it takes, you know where I'm at if you need anything, love ya dude'."

"If you're out there brother, if you read this, I miss the f*ck out of you."

"I worry about you regularly."

"Stop by, please."

"F*ck you Kaitlyn, i wish nothing but the worst for you."

"You're a shrewd cold woman and do not deserve the man or the perfect life you plaster on social media."- Theebalz106

Who Was Bringing Who Down?

"Had a buddy who was hanging out with some guys at coffee shops and they'd discuss philosophy, poetry and current events (we were in our late 20s)."

'At any rate one day he gets a call from one of the guys and my buddy asks me to go with him and we'll grab a bite afterwards."

"So we walk in and the guy is seated in a chair facing the couch."

"I jokingly asked if this was an intervention."

"Guy proceeded to tell my friend that they could no longer be friends because he needs people who will elevate him."

"In the midst of this very snarky monologue my friend looks at me and smiles awkwardly and was like 'you hungry?'"

"We stand up and leave."

"My friend is a now a c-suite employee and that guy who 'broke up' with him is still working a min wage job, been married several times and is barely holding his life together."

"Was just so...random."

"I can still remember the room and what we were wearing and the look on my friend's face when he realized what was happening and we left."- Ok-Bus1716

Friend, Not Servant

"My dear friend dumped me because I couldn’t do her anymore favors."

"She pushed off my visit a couple of times so I just quit trying."

"I almost lost my job because I had to pick up her daughter from school."

"I told her I couldn’t do it anymore."

"Kind of relieved because I was tired of always doing favors."- GingerJanMarie

Sadly Inevitable

"I got into a fight (over text) with a friend whom I had been walking on eggshells around for years."

"Unfortunately my best was involved because she was a part of the group message."

"My best friend didn’t talk to me for months."

"It broke my heart."

"The other friend as soon as I cussed her out and blocked her I felt a weight lift from my shoulders."

"My best friend eventually started talking to me again."

"So a happy ending."- Lazy_Enthusiasm25

"Best friends from elementary school through college (my college not hers)."

"Found out in college that she was lying about things to take advantage of me financially."

"My grandparents had left me some money that should have paid for my entire college including living expenses."

"Instead I worked through college and lived with my parents and also took out student loans."

"For instance I paid her rent for an entire year before she got evicted anyway because she was blowing the money I gave her on random stuff."

"While I was helping her clear her stuff out before they changed the locks I overheard her parents comment about how they had been paying her rent this entire time too."

"Or once she came to borrow money from me at work saying she bounced a check at her job and she was going to fired unless she paid it back."

"I got off work to a message from another mutual friend saying that they had gone to the movies and seen something we'd planned to watch together then clothes shopping but we could go see something else that weekend."

"She never did cover the bounced check and did lose her job and get a warrant out for her arrest."

"It wasn't just me it was everybody she did this to."

"Like at one point, she lived with her mom who was supporting her 3 siblings, and took the mom's car overnight and used an entire tank of gas to drive to another town to go clubbing, and the mother had to beg a neighbor for enough gas money to get to work."

"She also dropped out of college the first week of the first semester but never formally withdrew so her parents were still on the hook for the entire semester of fees, and she had a 0 GPA."

"I finally told her that I wouldn't give her any more money or pay for her when we went places."

"If she wanted to be friends, she needed to pull her own weight."

"Shortly before the fallout, I'd introduced her to my cousin who was bemoaning his religious gf's unwillingness to 'put out'."

"Within 2 weeks she slept with my cousin then told him she was pregnant and he needed to do the right thing and marry her."

"Once he told his parents they were engaged she told him that she lost the pregnancy but he couldn't call off the engagement without telling his super religious parents that the whole thing was because of a pregnancy scare."

"They did end up getting married."

"She talked him into enlisting in the military since she had previously commented about how unfair it is military wives don't have to work, that supporting their husbands is their only job."

"They've had 3 kids she does nothing for, her mother moved in to take care of them for her and his parents supplement his income so they can afford housing."

"She hasn't held a steady job since they've been together."

"So I've been avoiding him and her both for 15 years and get all the drama second hand from our mutual cousins (and his sister) who all hate her!"- misoranomegami

A friend is someone who is always there for you, and who you'll always be there for in return.

Any friend, however, who only brings you down is not a friend at all.

And sometimes, the only way to forgive and move on, is to let go.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.