People Imagine Which Improvements They Would Make To The Human Body
Human bodies are a marvel of engineering - and also make no sense.
Brains are sentient goo that are capable of creativity, insight, intelligence, and incredible achievement. But also I hurt myself typing too hard a while back and my hand just hasn't been right since - and I know I'm not the only one.
The juxtaposition can make for some incredibly awkward moments. This brings us around to this thought...
Reddit user CrypticBrush asked:
"If you could redesign the human body what changes would you make ?"
Armor? Healing abilities? A protective mucus layer?
Less and MoreShoot You Oh No GIF by Film RiotGiphy
"Less back pain, more laser beam eyes."
"The Predator approves this."
"You’re gonna have more pain everywhere else from the laser beam eyes of others."
"Every woman in the world would have serious burns, also more men than anyone would expect."
"Human sinuses suffer from a major flaw."
"As our species evolved flatter, taller faces the cavity in our skulls connecting our sinus to our throats moved above the rest of the sinus apparatus."
"This is bad for drainage."
"Humans 2.0 will have that hole lower thus reducing stuffy, runny noses and sinus pressure."
"So what you're saying is we're the pug of the great apes?"
"Nah, we are like the weirdly high nosed giraffe or something."
"A new set of teeth that grow when you're 30. A spare of each major organ that remains dormant unless the primary is damaged."
"Also, please rid us of wisdom teeth. Cutting one now."
"A new set of teeth every 10-15 years."
"I got my adult teeth early and completely ruined them and now I have to live with the consequences."
"We’d need braces again though."
"The spare set of teeth is something my husband, kids, and I were discussing just this week."
"The opportunity to grow new teeth to make up for years of teenage or young adult depression, poor soda habits, health issues leading to weakened teeth, etc would be amazing."
The Cursed Circle
"I would like licking chapped lips to work, please."
"It's the politeness that got me. Good luck with your lips."
"Ahh the cursed circle."
"Licking your lips feels better short term, but actually further dehydrates them (just like washing your skin dries it out) so make sure you use a moisturizing lip balm and then lock it in with an oil or some sort (whether you choose petroleum jelly or coconut oil, it's up to you) to prevent loss of hydration."
"Good luck 😬 "
Engineeringstar trek GIF by HULUGiphy
"The ability to run basically a self-diagnostic, including of the brain, and more effective warnings if something goes wrong."
"Control over more of the body and brain, from 'I'm going to sleep right now' to toggling reproductive functions on and off to triggering the growth of new teeth and so on."
"If we're really pushing it, consciously deciding how our bodies and appearance develop."
"Better joints and spine somehow. I don't know how, I'm not an expert."
"Seeing in ultraviolet would also be pretty cool."
"I feel like at that point I'll be questioning if I'm a robot."
"The line between a doctor and an engineer is thinner than what most would like to admit."
"For women, the ability to stop periods all together (without medicine or an implant) unless you actively want to have a baby."
" 'Opt-in fertility' "
"I'd say both exes should get that option. You produce reproductive cells only at will."
"So only couples who are both willing can reproduce."
"Being able to fall asleep at will would improve human quality of life more than I think anybody can possibly imagine."
"Going to bed when you want regardless of anxiety, taking naps whenever you want, falling asleep on airplanes/road trips, skipping meetings.... the possibilities are endless."
"My wife basically has this. She falls asleep in like, 3 minutes. It takes me an hour to fall asleep. I am super jealous."
"I vote for the fall asleep button! Insomnia sucks!!"
Obviously A Rush Job
"Optimize brain chemistry."
"So many of life’s problems are self inflicted due to anxiety, depression, etc. Life could be so enjoyable if everything else were the same but we regulated our brain wiring optimally."
"And never let sadness turn into a depression that then TRICKS THE BRAIN INTO THINKING IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH TO CALL IT DEPRESSION!"
"The human brain was quite obviously a rush-job hacked together at the last minute. A stem-to-stern re-work is in order!"
"Things like this aren’t necessarily related directly to trauma like people would think."
"Intrusive thoughts or 'call of the void' can happen to anyone, and can even be induced from some medications."
"I did archery with a guy with an acquired brain injury."
"He felt drunk all the time and it was not possible for him to get depressed; at the time I can’t say I wasn’t jealous."
One And DoneWarner Bros Fight GIF by Mortal Kombat MovieGiphy
"I would love another set of arms. Carry all them groceries in one trip."
"F*cking finally I found my people!"
"Been saying that all the time, so much spare space in our torso we could have another set of arms!"
"And I would STILL have to kick the door and ask my family to open the screen door for me."
"Oh yes! I say that all the time. Those would come in twice as handy."
Why The Same Hole?
"Why did we evolve to eat out of the same hole we breathe in?"
"I'd fix that."
"Yes, this would be my primary design change also."
"Such a liability to have food transit right next to air supply, and sharing a short stretch of track. I would fire that engineer."
"As someone who nearly died from choking, I support this change."
"Pro tip, do not talk to friends while sick with a stuffy nose listening to the friends funny story at 4 in the morning while chowing down on a hotdog in your kitchen..."
You've heard the mods Reddit came up with. Now it's your turn to do some human designing.
Tell us about your changes and upgrades in the comments!
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To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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"Reddit user AlaskaStiletto asked: 'Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?'"
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
SensationsHappy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy
"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
FreeThe Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy
"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
We all have our favorite foods, food preferences, and even foods that we don't like.
But there are some popular foods out there that just don't make sense. Nonetheless, we keep seeing them advertised, included in movies and TV shows, and of course, our loved ones ordering them while we look on in confusion.
Curious about others' food preferences, Redditor YarnSpectre asked:
"What's one food everyone seems to go crazy for, but you just don't understand the hype?"
So Much Sugar
"Nutella. It’s just okay."
"Way too sweet for me, I’d probably love it with one-fifth of the sugar."
"Unfortunately that's true of a lot of desserts, though. Most would benefit from a cut of at least 25 percent of the sugar."
"Red velvet cake. I've had ones that were supposed to be excellent but it's just red cake."
"Most red velvet cakes are just s**tty vanilla cake with red food coloring. Get one (or make one) the correct way with non-Dutch-processed cocoa powder, buttermilk, and vinegar. It's an incredibly smooth, very different type of chocolate cake."
Mastery Makes a Difference
"Those multicolored cookie things that everyone was making into cakes or something for a while? Macaroons? Macarons? I don't think I've ever had one that tasted good. They're pretty, but that's it."
"Macarons. I never cared for them either."
"I had one yesterday at a potluck, homemade ones. They were seriously something else, with some sort of butter cream and jelly inside. Never had anything quite like it. Now I wish I had grabbed a few to take home."
"I still won't eat store-bought ones, though."
The Wrong Kind of Spice
"Hot Cheetos or Takis. Anything with the artificially colored spicy powder."
"Takis texture is my issue. They’re like semi-stale rolled-up Doritos."
The Sugar Cookies of the Midwest
"Those dry-a** Walmart sugar cookies."
"They taste like play-dough cookies came to life."
"I mean, people go crazy in both directions, but cilantro. There’s the whole 'does it taste like soap or not' thing, but it’s usually presented as 'people either think it tastes like soap or they find it amazing.'"
"I am neither. It doesn’t taste like soap to me, but I also don’t love it. Meh."
"I don't think it tastes like soap, but I do think it tastes weirdly metallic. I don't go out of my way to avoid it in pre-prepared food, but I usually leave it out of things I'm preparing myself."
Fancy Decor Only
"People like how fondant LOOKS. I refuse to believe a single soul wants to EAT it."
"It's like eating a candied raincoat."
Back for a Limited Time
"Every time it comes back, I’m SUPER excited for the McRib at McDonald's. I bite into one and then… the spongey texture hits me and makes me remember why I don’t need to buy it ever again."
"Then, somehow, McRib season rolls around again two years later, and there I am in line…"
"I'm convinced this is why they only bring it out every once in a while. Nobody actually likes it, but they wait just long enough for you to forget that it's no good and then hit you with a combo of nostalgia and 'limited time only' FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)."
A Seasonal Tradition
"Pumpkin spice. It’s fine, but absolutely not anything to make a fuss about."
"There is a car parts place in a small town I drive through to visit family, and last year on their reader board, they had: 'THEYRE BACK! PUMPKIN SPICE BRAKE PADS.'"
"And now I can never see anything pumpkin spice and not think about it, might have been my favorite reader board sign ever."
Pure Caffeine Addiction
"Energy drinks like Red Bull or Monster."
"I'm an avid Monster drinker, but I totally get it. I'm always trying new and interesting energy drinks I see, but so much of it is just garbage."
"The white Monster tastes like 90s Fresca to me and is the only energy drink I love."
"Can it be a beverage? Because I kind of hate IPAs but everyone else seems to love them. And I like beer, just not IPAs."
"I have nothing against people who want complex beers. It's just not for me. I want an easy as f**k to drink fizzy yellow beer for when it's hot out. And a nice smooth stout for all other times. When I want more complex flavors, I'll go for wine or scotch."
Just Too Expensive
"What about lobster? I can dig it with drawn butter and I ain’t mad at it. But f**k me if I’m gonna pay $29.99 for a lobster. I’d rather eat shrimp."
"Truffles. I paid $60 this weekend at an Italian restaurant for eight slivers on my pasta shaved in front of me. I barely tasted anything. I don't get the hype."
Improved Gut Health?
"Ah, yes, dirty pond water."
"Everyone goes crazy for caviar? Most people seem to dislike it."
"Though admittedly, people who do like it tend to like it a lot."
"That all being said, I really don't like it, either."
When it comes to food, to each their own, but it was interesting to see some undeniable fan favorites like pumpkin spice hit this list.
It just serves as a great reminder for a larger picture idea: Don't be unkind about the things that might bring someone else joy.
In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.
He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.
The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.
This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.
Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:
"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"
The King Of Pop
"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."
"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."
"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."
"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."
"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."
The Truth Comes Out
"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."
"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."
"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."
"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."
"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."
The Movie Business
"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."
"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."
"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."
Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids
"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."
"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."
Yes, It's True
"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."
"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."
"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."
How The Mighty Fell
"John Edward’s love child."
"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."
"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."
It Actually Happened
"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."
"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."
Big Actor, Small Roles
"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."
"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."
What To Do Next?
"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."
"Turned out to be absolutely true."
That last one was kind of obvious!
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
"Flashing blue lights."
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.