People Imagine Which Improvements They Would Make To The Human Body
Joyce McCown/Unsplash

Human bodies are a marvel of engineering - and also make no sense.


Brains are sentient goo that are capable of creativity, insight, intelligence, and incredible achievement. But also I hurt myself typing too hard a while back and my hand just hasn't been right since - and I know I'm not the only one.

The juxtaposition can make for some incredibly awkward moments. This brings us around to this thought...

Reddit user CrypticBrush asked:

"If you could redesign the human body what changes would you make ?"

Armor? Healing abilities? A protective mucus layer?

Less and More

Shoot You Oh No GIF by Film Riot Giphy

"Less back pain, more laser beam eyes."

- ThirdStrike333

"The Predator approves this."

- 7n13_

"You’re gonna have more pain everywhere else from the laser beam eyes of others."

- BigZmultiverse

"Every woman in the world would have serious burns, also more men than anyone would expect."

- BlackSuN42

Drainage

"Human sinuses suffer from a major flaw."

"As our species evolved flatter, taller faces the cavity in our skulls connecting our sinus to our throats moved above the rest of the sinus apparatus."

"This is bad for drainage."

"Humans 2.0 will have that hole lower thus reducing stuffy, runny noses and sinus pressure."

- CaptainChats

"So what you're saying is we're the pug of the great apes?"

- Schlipak

"Nah, we are like the weirdly high nosed giraffe or something."

- TheNaziSpacePope

Teeth

"A new set of teeth that grow when you're 30. A spare of each major organ that remains dormant unless the primary is damaged."

- Chrissy9001

"Also, please rid us of wisdom teeth. Cutting one now."

- boneymod

"A new set of teeth every 10-15 years."

"I got my adult teeth early and completely ruined them and now I have to live with the consequences."

- KnaveOfIT

"We’d need braces again though."

- [Reddit}

"The spare set of teeth is something my husband, kids, and I were discussing just this week."

"The opportunity to grow new teeth to make up for years of teenage or young adult depression, poor soda habits, health issues leading to weakened teeth, etc would be amazing."

- tkdbbelt

The Cursed Circle

"I would like licking chapped lips to work, please."

- tehKrakken55

"It's the politeness that got me. Good luck with your lips."

- Carthuluoid

"Ahh the cursed circle."

"Licking your lips feels better short term, but actually further dehydrates them (just like washing your skin dries it out) so make sure you use a moisturizing lip balm and then lock it in with an oil or some sort (whether you choose petroleum jelly or coconut oil, it's up to you) to prevent loss of hydration."

"Good luck 😬 "

- wellnotyou

Engineering

star trek GIF by HULU Giphy

"The ability to run basically a self-diagnostic, including of the brain, and more effective warnings if something goes wrong."

"Control over more of the body and brain, from 'I'm going to sleep right now' to toggling reproductive functions on and off to triggering the growth of new teeth and so on."

"If we're really pushing it, consciously deciding how our bodies and appearance develop."

"Better joints and spine somehow. I don't know how, I'm not an expert."

"Seeing in ultraviolet would also be pretty cool."

- brokeanail

"I feel like at that point I'll be questioning if I'm a robot."

- Fynex_Wright

"The line between a doctor and an engineer is thinner than what most would like to admit."

- Red_Ranger75

Opt-In Fertility

"For women, the ability to stop periods all together (without medicine or an implant) unless you actively want to have a baby."

- brokendowndryer

" 'Opt-in fertility' "

- misdirected_asshole

"I'd say both exes should get that option. You produce reproductive cells only at will."

"So only couples who are both willing can reproduce."

- OrangeQueen_H

Sleep Mode

"Being able to fall asleep at will would improve human quality of life more than I think anybody can possibly imagine."

"Going to bed when you want regardless of anxiety, taking naps whenever you want, falling asleep on airplanes/road trips, skipping meetings.... the possibilities are endless."

- CN4President

"My wife basically has this. She falls asleep in like, 3 minutes. It takes me an hour to fall asleep. I am super jealous."

- chauna

"I vote for the fall asleep button! Insomnia sucks!!"

- fluffy_boy_cheddar

Obviously A Rush Job

"Optimize brain chemistry."

"So many of life’s problems are self inflicted due to anxiety, depression, etc. Life could be so enjoyable if everything else were the same but we regulated our brain wiring optimally."

- DomingoLee

"And never let sadness turn into a depression that then TRICKS THE BRAIN INTO THINKING IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH TO CALL IT DEPRESSION!"

- Rio_Walker

"The human brain was quite obviously a rush-job hacked together at the last minute. A stem-to-stern re-work is in order!"

- Lochrin00

"Things like this aren’t necessarily related directly to trauma like people would think."

"Intrusive thoughts or 'call of the void' can happen to anyone, and can even be induced from some medications."

- Curleysound

"I did archery with a guy with an acquired brain injury."

"He felt drunk all the time and it was not possible for him to get depressed; at the time I can’t say I wasn’t jealous."

- CrazySD93

One And Done

Warner Bros Fight GIF by Mortal Kombat Movie Giphy

"I would love another set of arms. Carry all them groceries in one trip."

- diskootdatskoot

"F*cking finally I found my people!"

"Been saying that all the time, so much spare space in our torso we could have another set of arms!"

- HellenicRoman

"And I would STILL have to kick the door and ask my family to open the screen door for me."

- TheNewGuyGames

"Oh yes! I say that all the time. Those would come in twice as handy."

- _Mehff_

Why The Same Hole?

"Why did we evolve to eat out of the same hole we breathe in?"

"I'd fix that."

- Actually_Avery

"Yes, this would be my primary design change also."

"Such a liability to have food transit right next to air supply, and sharing a short stretch of track. I would fire that engineer."

- MyBlueMeadow

"As someone who nearly died from choking, I support this change."

"Pro tip, do not talk to friends while sick with a stuffy nose listening to the friends funny story at 4 in the morning while chowing down on a hotdog in your kitchen..."

- TheNewGuyGames

You've heard the mods Reddit came up with. Now it's your turn to do some human designing.

Tell us about your changes and upgrades in the comments!

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?

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