I hate body facts. I'm sheepish.
How about Dinner First?
Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Doctors will press on the penis glans while having one finger in the anus, if by pressing the gland the sphincter of the anus try to close, it means the reflex is still alive, it is sometimes used to check if theres any damage to the spinal cord after an accident."
HallowedBuddy
Bad to Worse
"The most f**ked up human fact I know is: generally, during a kidney transplant, the old kidneys are not removed from the body, they are left inside after the transplant. There is actually a gentleman in the Netherlands who holds the world record for number of kidneys inside his body, which is currently 7."
MugiwaraLee
"I’ll make it worse. The native kidneys shrivel up like raisins. So they’re just little beans hanging around uselessly once the transplant has been there awhile. They have such a complicated vascular system, it’s easier to leave them in — and it helps that they won’t take up too much room for long."
miimo0
Quite a Load
"The average human poops close to 400lbs per year."
Outrageous_Ad_9310
"My guess is it’s calculated by looking at throughput volume in sewage systems and dividing by the number of people in the service area using census data."
"Could also be a very long series of laborious collections from individuals, but I personally wouldn’t want to participate in that work (as the pooper OR the scientist). Now what would be really interesting if we did have individual-level data would be to examine the median, mode, range, error, etc. to determine if the average is 'normal' or skewed by a small percentage of insanely high-volume poopers."
Gumbyizzle
Sexy Time For All
"Some people achieve orgasm getting their nipples pierced."
actuallizard42
Going Down
sharks lol GIF by Look HumanGiphy"Human vaginal secretions contain hyaluronic acid and squalene, which are both used in skincare for hydration and elasticity. Squalene is also produced in high amounts in shark liver, so vaginas and sharks have that in common."
ConnoisseurOfDanger
Clots
"If you continue to have an erection for several hours, blood will start to clot and harden, which decreases oxygenated blood flow to the tissue and can cause ischemia in the penile tissue. If one has an erection for longer than 24 hrs, the chances of having Erectile Dysfunction afterwards are exponentially higher statistically, from my understanding."
Denslow82
Finding Room...
"Toddler's adult teeth are stored right under their eyes at some point."
DramaticChoice4
"Can confirm. During my studies the first time we were shown a child x-ray and asked for diagnosis, everybody was freaking out that there is something seriously wrong (we didn't know it was a child). Turns out we were completely bamboozled and it was a healthy child. That day I learned where and when adult teeth develop during childhood."
TheEsiu
Unsafe/Unclean
"There are traces of human fecal matter pretty much everywhere."
M-Test24
"Mythbusters did a test where they were trying to see if putting your toothbrush in the cupboard would keep it cleaner. They had controls in other rooms that they expected to stay 100% poop free, but every single one tested positive for poop. There is no escape, there is nowhere safe."
safety_thrust
Let it Burn
Musical GIF by Tony AwardsGiphy"The stomach acid in humans is so strong it could eat through most metals. However we're protected because of the mucus lining our gut."
Pfroggy1
The body is crazy. What a design.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Brains are sentient goo that are capable of creativity, insight, intelligence, and incredible achievement. But also I hurt myself typing too hard a while back and my hand just hasn't been right since - and I know I'm not the only one.
The juxtaposition can make for some incredibly awkward moments. This brings us around to this thought...
Reddit user CrypticBrush asked:
"If you could redesign the human body what changes would you make ?"
Armor? Healing abilities? A protective mucus layer?
Less and More
Shoot You Oh No GIF by Film RiotGiphy"Less back pain, more laser beam eyes."
- ThirdStrike333
"The Predator approves this."
- 7n13_
"You’re gonna have more pain everywhere else from the laser beam eyes of others."
- BigZmultiverse
"Every woman in the world would have serious burns, also more men than anyone would expect."
- BlackSuN42
Drainage
"Human sinuses suffer from a major flaw."
"As our species evolved flatter, taller faces the cavity in our skulls connecting our sinus to our throats moved above the rest of the sinus apparatus."
"This is bad for drainage."
"Humans 2.0 will have that hole lower thus reducing stuffy, runny noses and sinus pressure."
- CaptainChats
"So what you're saying is we're the pug of the great apes?"
- Schlipak
"Nah, we are like the weirdly high nosed giraffe or something."
- TheNaziSpacePope
Teeth
"A new set of teeth that grow when you're 30. A spare of each major organ that remains dormant unless the primary is damaged."
- Chrissy9001
"Also, please rid us of wisdom teeth. Cutting one now."
- boneymod
"A new set of teeth every 10-15 years."
"I got my adult teeth early and completely ruined them and now I have to live with the consequences."
- KnaveOfIT
"We’d need braces again though."
- [Reddit}
"The spare set of teeth is something my husband, kids, and I were discussing just this week."
"The opportunity to grow new teeth to make up for years of teenage or young adult depression, poor soda habits, health issues leading to weakened teeth, etc would be amazing."
- tkdbbelt
The Cursed Circle
"I would like licking chapped lips to work, please."
- tehKrakken55
"It's the politeness that got me. Good luck with your lips."
- Carthuluoid
"Ahh the cursed circle."
"Licking your lips feels better short term, but actually further dehydrates them (just like washing your skin dries it out) so make sure you use a moisturizing lip balm and then lock it in with an oil or some sort (whether you choose petroleum jelly or coconut oil, it's up to you) to prevent loss of hydration."
"Good luck 😬 "
- wellnotyou
Engineering
star trek GIF by HULUGiphy"The ability to run basically a self-diagnostic, including of the brain, and more effective warnings if something goes wrong."
"Control over more of the body and brain, from 'I'm going to sleep right now' to toggling reproductive functions on and off to triggering the growth of new teeth and so on."
"If we're really pushing it, consciously deciding how our bodies and appearance develop."
"Better joints and spine somehow. I don't know how, I'm not an expert."
"Seeing in ultraviolet would also be pretty cool."
- brokeanail
"I feel like at that point I'll be questioning if I'm a robot."
- Fynex_Wright
"The line between a doctor and an engineer is thinner than what most would like to admit."
- Red_Ranger75
Opt-In Fertility
"For women, the ability to stop periods all together (without medicine or an implant) unless you actively want to have a baby."
- brokendowndryer
" 'Opt-in fertility' "
- misdirected_asshole
"I'd say both exes should get that option. You produce reproductive cells only at will."
"So only couples who are both willing can reproduce."
- OrangeQueen_H
Sleep Mode
"Being able to fall asleep at will would improve human quality of life more than I think anybody can possibly imagine."
"Going to bed when you want regardless of anxiety, taking naps whenever you want, falling asleep on airplanes/road trips, skipping meetings.... the possibilities are endless."
- CN4President
"My wife basically has this. She falls asleep in like, 3 minutes. It takes me an hour to fall asleep. I am super jealous."
- chauna
"I vote for the fall asleep button! Insomnia sucks!!"
- fluffy_boy_cheddar
Obviously A Rush Job
"Optimize brain chemistry."
"So many of life’s problems are self inflicted due to anxiety, depression, etc. Life could be so enjoyable if everything else were the same but we regulated our brain wiring optimally."
- DomingoLee
"And never let sadness turn into a depression that then TRICKS THE BRAIN INTO THINKING IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH TO CALL IT DEPRESSION!"
- Rio_Walker
"The human brain was quite obviously a rush-job hacked together at the last minute. A stem-to-stern re-work is in order!"
- Lochrin00
"Things like this aren’t necessarily related directly to trauma like people would think."
"Intrusive thoughts or 'call of the void' can happen to anyone, and can even be induced from some medications."
- Curleysound
"I did archery with a guy with an acquired brain injury."
"He felt drunk all the time and it was not possible for him to get depressed; at the time I can’t say I wasn’t jealous."
- CrazySD93
One And Done
Warner Bros Fight GIF by Mortal Kombat MovieGiphy"I would love another set of arms. Carry all them groceries in one trip."
- diskootdatskoot
"F*cking finally I found my people!"
"Been saying that all the time, so much spare space in our torso we could have another set of arms!"
- HellenicRoman
"And I would STILL have to kick the door and ask my family to open the screen door for me."
- TheNewGuyGames
"Oh yes! I say that all the time. Those would come in twice as handy."
- _Mehff_
Why The Same Hole?
"Why did we evolve to eat out of the same hole we breathe in?"
"I'd fix that."
- Actually_Avery
"Yes, this would be my primary design change also."
"Such a liability to have food transit right next to air supply, and sharing a short stretch of track. I would fire that engineer."
- MyBlueMeadow
"As someone who nearly died from choking, I support this change."
"Pro tip, do not talk to friends while sick with a stuffy nose listening to the friends funny story at 4 in the morning while chowing down on a hotdog in your kitchen..."
- TheNewGuyGames
You've heard the mods Reddit came up with. Now it's your turn to do some human designing.
Tell us about your changes and upgrades in the comments!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.