Articles about what people are looking for in a potential partner tend to be super heteronormative, so allow me to gay things up a bit around here.
We're tired of hearing about what makes a woman desirable from a man's perspective. Men aren't the only ones out here looking to date women and not all women are interested in the male gaze.
This one is by women, for women.
Reddit was asked:
"Women who like women, what do you look for in a woman?"
The answers got pretty interesting, honestly.
So let's get into this super awesome sapphic showcase, shall we?
The Practical Answer
"Someone about the same size as me, so if the relationship works out our wardrobes double."
- Far_Bicycle7269
"I’ve been living this dream for 6 years now. The only thing we can’t share is shoes."
"People often marvel at the sheer amount of outfits I have to wear to work, but it helps that I’m engaged to someone who is truly in love with buying beautiful clothing."
- kimchiandsweettea
"So much yes!"
"Me and my fiancee are the same size, except she's Latina and I'm white so we can't share pants cause my trunk came with significantly less junk. Everything else is shared."
- Laurenharrow
"This is the real answer. The one thing I miss about my ex is her clothes…"
- magicalzebra
GiphyGood Hugs
"Someone who treats me well and gives good hugs"
"I don't know how to describe it, but one of my ex’s was like the most emotionally vacant hugger in the world."
- Toastiexists
"Imagine being the most fantastic person in the world, but your hugs are horse shite."
"Like, people would rather have you affectionately headbutt them than one of your hugs, that are somehow both dry and wet at the same time."
- Bahamabanana
GiphyWhat Really Matters
"That she is kind, smart, and has a sense of humour."
"It's also nice if she has a nice smile but looks aren't as important in my opinion. I like a woman who can have a witty conversation with me and doesn't bend to someone else's opinions easily."
"The most important thing is definitely how kind they are to other people though. It shows a lot about maturity."
- Flying_Haggis
"I had no idea how much I valued a partner who had her own opinions until I started dating someone who would basically change her opinion to match mine in almost any discussion we had."
- esoteric_enigma
"Are we looking for the same woman?"
"All of those are on my list. Looks don’t mean much, they can fade or improve with age. Personality traits, and the content of their character don’t."
"I want someone who can challenge me to be the best version of me without it seeming like a challenge. Someone who is smart, motivated, driven and passionate about things."
"She’s gotta absolutely love dogs because I have 3 and there are 7 in my house."
"A love for bell peppers and pizza, and gaming would be a plus."
"Someone who doesn’t let social media dictate her life is 100% a necessity. I hate it but use it for my business and to keep in contact with relatives that live a ways away and that’s it. I don’t look to FB or Insta for validation and I hope she wouldn’t either."
"Open to adoption or having kids is a definite plus. I’d love to be a mom, I also was born with a shitty uterus and don’t want to be pregnant."
- ON-Q
GiphyA Scary Lady
"I love me a scary lady. Hard-asses are my weakness lol"
- YAreUReadinThis
"Anyone who could pick me up while being incredibly stylish and charismatic is especially wow. Big muscles + sleek suit = :D"
"Unfortunately I cannot find such a woman that likes me back."
"Pop culture examples: Azula from ATLA, Vi, Caitlyn, or Mel from Arcane, Reagan from Inside Job, Jasnah from the Stormlight Archive, Doc Oc from Spiderverse,"
"Sighhh the woes of a nerdy sapphic teenager."
- Force_fiend58
"Surprisingly, I like a lot of “masculine” energy from my women but not from my men. Go figure."
- 143019
"Well I’m glad to see this here. Love me scary, powerful women. Maybe from too much Xena as a kid?"
- weirdkidomg
"Went on a date with a lady this weekend and we stopped by this bar on the way back to the place. As we left we had a group of dudes catcalling the f*ck out of us."
"When she unleashed her mean side and yelled back at them, I went weak. She was all apologetic and I was like please… hahaha"
- keeponrottin
GiphyAdopted By An Extrovert
"I am the introvert that needs to be adopted by an extrovert, so a girl who is either super talkative that I can lovingly listen to all the time, or someone equally comfortable with silence."
- moonkitz
"The comfortable with silence thing is so important."
"I am an introvert too, and at some point my partner started to get uncomfortable with silence, she would say like "tell me something" and start complaining about me not having nothing new to say."
"I felt the pressure of always having something to talk about, and sometimes I just wanted to have my mind off for a while."
- mapabu05
"Geez I couldn’t agree more."
"I want an extroverted girl who knows my limits though. I used to date a girl that would push me into things I didn’t feel comfortable with, like REALLY did not feel comfortable with, and our relationship was just a whole lot of not understanding each other."
- Witch_Supreme72
GiphyLucky
"Friendly, outgoing and kind. A good sense of humour also helps a lot."
"Physically I prefer women who present more on the femme side. I love running my hands through long, soft hair while I kiss her soft lips."
"Oh and I’m pretty tall for a woman at 6’1 so someone tall preferably."
"Okay, I’m basically just describing my girlfriend lol. I’m a lucky girl!"
- Frggy
"lol, i thought that last sentence was going to end in 'I'm basically describing MYSELF!' "
- KeberUggles
GiphyAdventure
"Hello my fellow women who love women!"
"Looks don’t matter to me. Whether you’re masculine, feminine, or in between, I really don’t care."
"I like someone who is compassionate. Somebody who is kind to others."
"Having somebody willing to go on adventures with you, fight for you, and do anything with you is really important. Being able to go make memories together that are so good they will fill up all the bad in my life are the types of girls I want."
"It’s good to have a stable income, but it doesn’t have to be riches. Money isn't a top priority for me. As long as you’re not a 25-year-old still living in their parents basement with no job, I’m cool with it"
"Adventurous, compassionate, loving and loyal are definitely what I seek."
- FlyingFoxandwings
GiphyCapability Counts
"Someone capable."
"My partner can grow tomatoes from seed, hang a shelf and build a bicycle. She’s practical in ways that I’m not."
"It’s nice knowing that she doesn’t need me around to look after her; I’m around because she wants me."
"She’s also a really good, considerate driver and there’s something very hot about that."
- club144
GiphyWasting Time
"Most important: kind, patient, and makes me feel comfortable around them. Not a racist, and likes to read."
"Also, someone who likes to cuddle and give hugs, or is at least comfortable with constant body contact (and I don't care if it's just our legs touching while we sit on the sofa, that's enough for me.)"
"After that: shorter than 5'7" to avoid back-problems from kissing, and similar goals and priorities in life as well as similar outlook on parenting and family planning."
"Dating someone is fun, but if our vision for life doesn't align, I feel like I'm wasting both of our time."
- literalpeacock
GiphyLust Is A Must
"Well, I gotta tell ya, being stuck in the role of the aggressor, or person-doing-things-to-a-passive-partner - even if they specifically request those things - turns out not to be my favorite."
"I think it would be cool to meet someone who actively wants me, not just to be serviced. So given that, a person who makes intense eye contact and can be a bit aggressive would be hot if everything else is a go and we're clearly into each other."
"Also, I kinda get what some straight guys complain about. It does make a person feel ugly to not be lusted for, even if you technically had sex."
- PyrocumulusLightning
GiphyDid this list look the way you expected it to?
Does it differ from what you normally see in hetero-centered lists?
What do you look for in a woman?
We'll see you in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Curious to hear from strangers online about their teenage years, an anonymous Redditor asked:
"What was 'the incident' at your high school?"
Major school incidences ranged from the bizarre to tragedy.
Prank Gone Wrong
"Senior prank, someone dumped a few hundred pounds of flour and yeast into the school indoor pool, in hopes of turning it into a giant glob of dough (I guess). It didn’t work, just caused about 100K damage to plumbing, pumps, filters, etc. Prankster never caught."
– Sea_Ganache620
Cruel Morning
"In high school Two kids both named Logan. Both last names were very similar. One was popular and the other was not. Unpopular Logan was drunk and ran across a road in the middle of the night and was killed by a semi-truck."
"The next day the principal announced that popular Logan had died. Popular Logan was late for school."
"Everyone was very sad. Then popular Logan showed up and all school rejoiced that unpopular Logan was the one who died. Was f'ked up."
– AggressiveSmoke4054
Sudden Death
"A sophomore (my classmate) dropped unconscious in gym class and was rushed to the hospital. 3 days later they took him off life support and he died from a brain aneurysm."
"Edit to add: his funeral was held in the high school gym and damn near everyone went. Never in my life did I think I’d attend a funeral AT school."
– DisappointmentToMost
In The Nick Of Time
"A friend of mine in high school had a brain aneurysm, also as a sophomore. He'd been complaining for a few days about sudden, brief, very intense headaches. He was on the JV football team and went to play a game. Took a hard tackle and the aneurysm ruptured."
"That actually turned out to be the luckiest possible time for it to happen, because the school always had an ambulance on call at the side of the field during football games, so he was in the hands of EMTs within a minute of people realizing something was wrong. He was rushed to the hospital, they removed part of his skull to reduce the pressure on his brain and he spent a week or two in an induced coma. But in an absolute damn miracle, he made about as complete of a recovery as one can from that kind of injury; the only long-term effect was some very minor loss of muscle control in the left side of his face, so his smile was a little crooked."
"That was back in 2000."
"He just died three weeks ago from an accidental drug overdose."
– Lachwen
Lockdown
"A kid came to school with a machete and tree saw and slashed 7 students the day before Thanksgiving break."
"And a girl fell through the gym’s acoustic ceiling tiles and had to wear a halo."
– usfgirl1020
Incidences were not limited to just the students.
Murder
"A science teacher was beaten, chased and fatally set on fire by her husband who then shot himself."
– Fracture_98
Domestic Violence
"A teacher at the school I attended was being chased by her abusive husband. She drove to a police station with him following and tried to go inside but the doors were locked (it was some holiday). He shot her dead there and drove off. After that they made a rule to always have someone on staff and the doors unlocked."
– TheW83
There's no avoiding the brutal shaming that accompanies the high school experience.
Special Gym Class
"We had so many pregnant teen girls that they had their own gym class."
"A friend of mine who had a fake leg— he had a solid metal rod from mid thigh to mid calf from childhood leukemia so he couldn’t bend at the knee, was in the same class. Just this one poor guy and 30 pregnant 16 year olds."
"I was a teenager in the late 90s and grew up in the southeastern United States. It was a suburban area where a ton of people (still) identify as Evangelical Christians, it’s also called the Bible Belt. The required sex education classes didn’t teach anything but 'Just Say No' so there were girls who thought jumping up and down would prevent pregnancy. Not kidding. These were really sheltered girls who would attend Purity Dances, so it was quite a scandal that so many were pregnant at the same time. Most of the baby daddies were just dumb teenage boys who didn’t know the facts of life."
"Remember that there was no internet at this point so it’s not like teens could get information on their own especially if they were from a super religious background. A girl on my street was 'sent away' to live with an aunt when she got pregnant."
"Also, the pregnant girl gym class was technically for the physically disabled kids, hence why my friend was the lone guy in the class."
"His leg, from what he explained to me, had cancer in the bones of his knee. They didn’t want to amputate his whole leg so they removed the knee and grafted a rod in place— this would have been back in the late 80s so I’m sure they do stuff differently now."
– Malicious_Tacos
Students Can Be So Mean
"a girl had an epilepsy attack and she lost control of her bowels. Not a pretty sight."
"Mean girls type made fun of her, and she transferred to another high school."
– StuntCockofGilead
Teenagers deserve more credit than they're given.
These days, they are forced to grow up fast and learn important life lessons earlier than their parents like for them to experience due to various circumstances unfolding on campus.
If they can survive high school, they can survive almost anything in life past graduation.
