Clueless in love?
Grab a pen and get ready to get a clue because we're breaking it down today.
Firstly, don't feel bad.
Lots of us are completely and totally oblivious. You're among friends here.
Reddit user IsellKidneys2356 asked:
"What screams 'I'm attracted to you?' "
If you're reading this article with a particular someone in mind, hoping this article will help you figure out if they're into you or not, keep reading til the end and we'll give you a sure-fire way to know.
You're Not That Funny
"Laughing at your worst jokes."
- scrimmybingus3
"I told my friend when he was nervous on his first date 'if she laughs, you got a shot' to which he replied 'why?' ”
"I said 'cause you ain’t f*cking funny and she’s catering to your frail ego just like all girls do when they like a guy' he said it was great advice lol 😂"
- thelastride23
"My girlfriend was so giggly when we first met and it was so precious."
"I have a good sense of humor but I know I’m not THAT funny. It gave me peace of mind early on knowing she probably had the same butterfly feeling in her stomach as me."
- lanman33
Marvel Studios Reaction GIF by Disney+GiphyTerrified Silence
"I worked alongside this guy for several months, and he never said a word to me."
"For the longest time, I thought he hated me, as he would actively go out of his way to avoid speaking to me at all, or even make any kind of eye contact."
"I thought he was super cute, but I'm also pretty shy and introverted, which is why I just let it go for several months."
"It eventually got to the point where it was just uncomfortable, and I asked him what the deal was, and what I could have possibly done to make him dislike me so much."
"It took him a minute or so to respond, and then he said 'I'm really sorry. I'm incredibly shy, and have been since I was a kid. But I think you are the most flawlessly beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I am terrified to talk to you.' "
"We've been together for over three years, and married for four months."
- littletinylotus
Big Hints
"Apparently my fiancee dropped a whole lot of hints before we got together."
"A big standout was complaining that she didn't have any plans for our Junior prom, and then asking me what my plans for that night were."
"My dumb@ss responded with something to the effect of 'F*ck prom, I'll be home playing Mario.' "
- uwu-lmao-xD
"My girlfriend did the same thing, to the point she kissed me and I managed to convince myself that she wasn't interested."
"I ignored it for another month before I got told by multiple people that she was into me and I asked her out. In conclusion, I am a f*cking idiot."
- original__pickles
"When my son was about 16 he went off on a camping weekend with a heap of friends. There was one girl who’d he’d been getting kind of close with for ages, and I had a fair idea that something would happen while they were away."
"So when I picked him up, I asked him how it had gone."
"He said it was so weird, they’d had a great night, it was almost bedtime and she hasn’t set up her tent yet. He asked her about it and she said she didn’t know how to put it up so she was just going to have to sleep on the ground by the fire."
"Ever the gentleman, he sprung to his feet and recruited a friend to help set it up for her in the dark and the cold. Damsel saved."
"Fast forward an hour or so and everyone’s asleep. He hears a rustle at his tent door and there she is, complaining that she’s so cold all on her own in her big scary tent."
"Bless that sweet ignorant boy, he said 'oh. Well here you go, take my sleeping bag' and held it out to her. He remembers she looked sad and confused and he didn’t understand; he’d done a nice thing and now she wouldn’t be cold. Damsel saved."
"He shivered and froze all night and ended up climbing into another tent and going top to toe with his buddy."
"I said to him 'Mate, do you reckon maybe she wanted to sleep in your tent with you?' and the look on that poor kid’s face when the penny dropped…"
- Kristyyyyyyy
The Looks
"When you're in a group and the person consistently looks at you whenever something funny or interesting happens."
- take-a-ride
"I had a meeting yesterday afternoon. It was the first time for most of us meeting in person."
"The last person to arrive was this stunning girl and when we looked at each other I swear to God there might as well have been lightning shooting out both our eyes."
"At first I thought 'nah I imagined that.' As she sat down close to me we looked at each other for a solid second and smiled at the same time for no particular reason other than it just feeling right."
"She started making conversation with me specifically. We had to split up into groups to interview people, and she and I were paired by the supervisor (best supervisor ever)."
"For the next two hours, we just joked and talked with each other and every time something funny happened we just looked at each other automatically."
"I've been with a lot of people but never had this sort of easy chemistry happen before, certainly not so quickly. I'm excited to talk to her some more, regardless of where it leads. I asked her out to lunch sometime and she said yes!"
"It might be a bit because we're noth busy but it's a good development :)"
- RomanRodriBR
Full Of Excuses
"Excuses to be near them. 'Lets study together - we'll get more work done ; 'Oh, you're going that way? me too, lets walk together.' "
- pronouns-r-they-them
"My sophomore year of college a friend of mine said we should skip a formal to get more studying done."
"These formals were a big deal campus-wide and everyone went. Also, we didn’t take a single class together."
"She showed up at my dorm wearing knee-high stockings and a men’s dress shirt that was unbuttoned to her cleavage. She was not wearing a bra."
"I…studied. Hurts to think about to this day."
- m4gnum_89
"I’m guilty of that second one lol."
"There was a girl in one of my college classes that I got to know really well that I started to get a huge crush on her. We would always walk out of class together and I had always said that her spot was on the way to my spot when in reality it was way off."
"But I just enjoyed those walks every day. I looked forward to that."
- yeezyfan23
Distraction
"Losing their train of thought when you walk by, while they are talking to someone else."
- buck-status-BROKEN
"Yup."
"I work with my spouse. We've been married 14 years. I still lose my train of thought when he walks by."
- take-a-ride
"This happened to me once."
"It was absurd how I trailed off when she went by in a summer dress. Good lord, 100% embarrassing."
- mynameisbp
"Omg this is true."
"I was giving a mock presentation to my group mate and that guy suddenly joined and spectated. I tripped up so many time in that presentation."
- andrew_hihi
Surprised Pixar GIF by DisneyGiphyThis Classic Move
"Finding any reason to touch each other."
"Whether is play fighting, feeling up muscles, poking someone's bruise, comparing hand sizes of they actively try to find a reason to touch you, they probably like you."
- biggaylikewoman
"Comparing hand sizes is a CLASSIC move."
- WinterBird01
"Comparing hand sizes is like my go to :/ I’m ashamed."
- Aldroe
Food = Love
"If they know you like a certain food and buy it for you."
"The guy I liked loved this one dumpling place near uni. He’d constantly stop and get some on the way home."
"One day when we where walking together, beforehand he said he felt like some but didn’t have his card so no money. So even though I knew he wanted some, when I asked if he wanted me to buy it for him he politely declined."
"So I pretended to buy some for myself (since I sometimes would). Then I ate like 3 to make it believable and said I was suddenly full and he could have the rest."
"I just wanted him to be happy with his dumplings."
- JackSparrowscompass
Absentmindedly
"When you catch them absentmindedly looking at you."
"Even if they’re doing something/talking to someone else but they’re still in tune with you and mindful of where you are in the room. Because, even subconsciously, they’re thinking about you."
"Also, going out of their way to make you smile/laugh is a good one. Same with keeping notes on your interests."
- NinjaCakies
"Most of the girls that I knew were interested in me were girls who I kept catching staring at me."
"Initially I never made any effort go further, but then I did and found out they were actually interested in me. I have figured out the 'I like you' gaze now and it's easy to know who likes me."
- garlic_bread_thief
"Finding reasons to touch you, wanting to see you, hear your voice and most important - their gaze."
"You can just tell by the way someone looks at you. When you’re in a group or a party, you look at them and find them already looking at you from across the room."
- Skinnylicious3
"Its in the way they watch you from across the room when they think you are not noticing."
"The easy smile when you are talking to them. They really listen to what you have to say without talking too. much because they are cataloging and filing it into their brain for future reference."
"But it starts with the look..."
- Melesa-rdwudforst
Third Person
"A tendency to end sentences by looking at each other even if there's other people around."
"Also, making frequent side comments to each other in group settings. They just want to talk to each other more."
"It can be hard to notice if it's happening to you, but is super obvious from a third person view when people are into each other."
- Nightthunder
make up lol GIF by LifetimeGiphyTalk Talk Talk
"Always trying to find ways to talk to you."
- rottingrodents
"Walking up to you and finding an excuse to start a conversation with you is usually a good sign, in my experience."
- in_the_comatorium
The Reflex
"This might come off as egotistical, but it's something I noticed and haven't been able to tell anyone ..."
"At the gym I have a 'friendly acquaintance' who I see all the time. We generally just exchange pleasantries, but in December I ruptured the triceps tendon in my right arm."
"She happens to be a physical therapist, so there has been a lot more chit-chat since then."
"A few days ago I entered the gym, and went to stow my jacket in a cubby. She was nearby, so I said 'Good morning' and when she turned I saw her pupils dilate to like 11."
"Since then I've seen the same thing twice."
"Ocular reflexes don't lie."
- SurlyJason
This List
"Men to women:"
"Driving. He takes you home or picks you up without being asked."
"Killing things. He drops whatever he is doing when you need him to help you smash a bug or trap a mouse."
"Paying attention. He notices changes in your grooming and dress and remembers things you say."
"Ponying up. He pays for meals, coffee, movie tickets, etc. even if you aren't dating."
"Showing off. He subtly or not so subtly mentions how much he can bench press or how much his last client paid him."
"Spending time. He seems not to mind hanging around you for no apparent reason."
"Telling you in so many words. He voluntarily admits that he did all these things because he was attracted to you."
- Loud_Ad_5518
Some people aren't just oblivious - they're almost impossible to convince.
Even if you tell them flat-out that you're attracted to them.
Even if you have sex with them.
Even if you marry them!
Yeah ... there may be no hope for these folks.
I Do. For Real.
"It took a while of being literally married for me to be convinced my husband was into me."
"I’m not always the smartest lol, no matter how much he told me or kissed me or did sweet, thoughtful gestures, my own insecurity fought me every step of the way."
"I do understand now that I’m truly loved just as much as I love him."
- carsandtelephones37
"For me it’s the intrusive thought that my wife believes she loves me but doesn’t realize she’s actually just tolerating me and when someone better comes around she’ll be like 'oh damn I was wrong.' ”
- A_Doormat
"Married 5 years, that's how it feels to me."
"I'm slowly realizing that she didn't just marry me because I was the best option at the time."
"She has a hard time expressing love because she grew up in a very suppressed household. Her parents never kissed, showed much affection in front of the kids beyond saying I love you."
"Most of the extent of her showing love is just flat out telling me."
"She's brutally honest with her words and words mean a lot to her so, that's good, but I'm just not a words guy, I need physical touch, quality time, etc."
"But over the past 5 years, I've slowly been noticing the subconscious things she does that tell me she loves me. Some of the signs that people have posted here are actually what she does and it shows that even though she has a hard time expressing it, that adorable heart of hers yearns after me."
"A year ago, we were in a really rough spot, mostly fueled by me not feeling loved by her, so the fact that I can acknowledge this is huge for us."
- [Reddit]
Living Single Kiss GIFGiphySis Dropped The Ball
"A girl that had a locker beside mine in high school asked if I was going to prom and who I was going with."
"I replied, 'Nah, I’m not going I don’t want to pay for that sh*t.' Even more, one of her friends also pushed even further by asserting that we should go to prom together and I held my ground by, once again, stating that I wouldn’t even be going."
"I later found out that this girl had asked my sister if I had someone to go to prom with and made it clear that she wanted to go with me."
"Why my sister didn’t let me know of this information I will never know."
"I was definitely very attracted to this girl but my dumbass couldn’t comprehend that she would actually want to go with me."
"Oops."
- Mironium
I Cringe
"Close contact, especially the unconventional ones."
"Went out with workmates and a colleague (slightly tipsy) started rubbing my leg with her foot while at table."
"Never been flirted with like that and didn't know how to respond appropriately, so I panicked and just gently pushed her away. I cringe at how I handled the situation to this day."
- someguywithdiabetes
Cherry Stem Saga
"What screams 'I'm attacted to you?' I wouldn't know because I'm an idiot."
"My wife tied a cherry stem in her mouth for me the night we started dating. Tied a cherry stem - it's such a cliche but I still missed it."
"She had to 'scream louder' and hold my hand and press into me hard later on because I was f*cking hopeless taking the hint."
- Threndsa
Don't worry, we didn't forget out promise - you're here for that sure-fire way to find out if someone is attracted to you.
You ready?
ASK THEM.
Yes, it's awkward - but it really is the only way to know for sure. Sorry. Thems the breaks, fam.
You're gonna have to just ask.
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When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.
But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.
And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.
Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:
"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.
Caveat Emptor
"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."
– throwmeawaypoopy
"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"
– MrsMalvora
"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"
– opheliainwaders
Value Of Friendships
"That some friends were never really your friend."
– Kangaroowrangler_02
"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."
– ScienceUnicorn
"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."
"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"
– VoxClarus
"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."
– tomdelfino
"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."
– immorjoe
The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?
Who's Parenting Who
"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."
– Smile_Terrible
"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
About Grieving
"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."
– i_spock
Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In
"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."
– HaloTightens
"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."
– deathschemist
We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.
Aimlessness
"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."
– Borsti17
"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."
– BeautifulMidnight-
Misconception Behind Work Integrity
"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."
– DorianOrosco
And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
We Are Our Parents
"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."
– tamammothchuk
"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."
– daggerxdarling
Living On Borrowed Time
"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."
"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."
"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."
"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."
"But the meter is running."
– Boudyro
I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.
When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.
As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.
It's not attractive to gloat.
And there is little more obnoxious than flaunting how wealthy you are.
Particularly if you aren't even that wealthy to begin with.
Indeed, perhaps to make themselves feel more powerful and important than they actually are, many people will try and show off how much money they have in what they wear, eat, live in, and drive.
However, not everyone is so easily fooled, as those in the know can detect a charlatan when they see one.
Redditor aloe_veracity16 was eager to hear the dead giveaways that someone might not be as wealthy as they appear, leading them to ask:
"What’s a dead giveaway that someone is not actually as wealthy as they claim?"
Stating The Obvious...
"When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are."
"A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart."
"An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit."
"And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy."- TigLyon
Attracting Unwanted Attention...
"90% of the wealthy shut the f**k about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece."
"Talking about it constantly = broke AF."- Vladtehwood
Simply By Doing It...
"Making the claim at all is a dead giveaway."- Starfox41
In Plain Sight...
"People who actually ARE wealthy mostly try to hide it."- Matt7738
"Living In A Material World..."
"I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post."
"I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latest iPhones and wearables."
"They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course."- anima99
Flaunt Modesty, Not Wealth...
"As a person which knows many very rich people."
"I can guarantee that not a single one of them wants to be known as rich."- CompetitivePause9033
Schitts Creek Flirt GIF by CBCGiphyWe Heard You The First Time!!!
"When they repeatedly and adamantly tell you how wealthy they are."- Famous_Bit_5119·
Experiences Over Stuff!
"I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition."
"They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much."- Klesea
Summer Time GIF by Merge MansionGiphyAll In The Editing...
"Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing?"
"They're in coach."
"The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through."- Turbulent-Ask-2633
Pack Light...
"Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage."
"The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them."- hadmeatgotmilk
The Less Said...
"I never met a wealthy person that talks about it."
"They don't need to."- 181Eclipse·
Christina Moses Secrets GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"See The Pyramid [SCHEMES!] Along The Way..."
"They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that 'will help you get rich too!'"
"If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme."- illegalopinion3
All About The Simple Things...
"My dad's entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country."
"And I never knew until I got older how these 'Mr. Smith' and 'Ms. Jones' people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class."
"Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people."
"Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth."- Travel_and_Tea·
Anything But Proud...
"I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class."
"She isn’t."
"She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that."
"Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister."
"Likely also 8 figures."
"He insists he’s blue collar and middle class."
"There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having 'made it' financially."- strangled_spaghetti
Blue Collar Work GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphyPeople will try to come off as wealthier than they are for a multitude of reasons.
But just like any facade, keeping it up eventually becomes untenable.
This is why it's always most important to be grateful for the things you have, rather than flaunt what you wish you had.
