Say Cheese! ....Haha, whoops, sorry! Your mortal enemy would get a kick out of seeing that photo of you. Especially if it's at a wedding. Especially if it's at YOUR wedding.
u/NotAnAcorn asked Reddit:
Wedding photographers of Reddit, what is the worst moment you've captured on camera?
Here were some of those horrific photos.
SURPRISE!
During the portrait time with the bride and the groom, the bride reached her arms up to hug the groom, who was significantly taller. She was wearing a strapless dress. The dress stayed put, and the rest of her made a surprise appearance. I did not deliver those images.
The Weather Won't Hold
The wedding was on a pier. The couple and the planner kept checking the radar on their phones for rain to decide if they should do the wedding on the pier, or take it inside. I looked out on the pier and said to them, "I don't know what your radar says, but those are rain clouds." They make the call to do the ceremony on the pier anyway.
About 3 minutes into the ceremony, it starts to rain. Out of nowhere, a man appears with a heart shaped wicker box. I always ask the couple if there is anything different about the wedding I should be aware of. They never said anything to me about this, so I was caught off guard. Cool. Fine. I just keep shooting. He hands the box to the bride. She opens it up, and there are two doves in there. Ok. Pretty cool. I've heard of a dove release, but had never actually seen one. But, there doves were NOT feeling it. They just sat there and were like, yeah, no, fuck this, it's the beach and it's raining. Bride looks at bird handler. Back at the birds. Shakes the box. Nothing. He motions for her to scoot them out of the box. She reaches in there and they immediately flee the box. They both fly directly into her face. I shot in burst mode, and got a pretty wild sequence of shots . One of the birds gets caught in her weave, and she shakes her head while swatting at the bird to free it.
Then the bottom falls out. Pouring rain and heavy winds. The officiant continues like nothing is happening. Zero sense of urgency. People are just getting up and heading inside. One of the family members gets up in the middle of the aisle, and starts screaming and chanting. "JUST SAY I DO! KISS!" They do, and it starts raining even harder. I backpedal down the pier as they run through the rain. The shots of them running through the rain are actually pretty beautiful.
The whole wedding was a complete mess. They ended up telling me that I was the only thing that went right on their wedding day, and that looking at my pictures made them happy, and that the pictures made the awful day look beautiful.
We Know That, Rob
I filmed a guy pushing a baby carriage. The two sides of family were not fans of one another and I was filmed a nice moment where a gentleman was making baby talk to a baby in a push carriage. The baby reached for his beer bottle and the guy let the baby touch it. Well the father of the kid grabbed the beer bottle and chucked it down the field then shouted at the guy "you don't give beer to kids!" So the beer guy got a mean mug and shoved the carriage a bit. I got it all on tape from about 20 feet away. Even got a cutaway of the smashed beer bottle the guy threw.
A Good Deed Goes A Long Way
Maybe not the worst, but the saddest. My wife shot a wedding for a bride and her father died later that night in his sleep of a heart attack. My wife made sure to give them all the nights photos, over 1500 photos, and edited them all for her. Usually she only gives 350 to 450 photos for a wedding package. Anyways, really sad situation. Those photos meant the world to the bride and she's been a return customer for years now. Super sad for the bride though.
Got there way too early since I had to do some pictures of the place and some of them pre-ceremony. Met the future husband, talked to him and his bride about what I would do. The ceremony starts and everything is going nice enough. I had to be ready all the time in case they call me or something happens so I was constantly close and scouting for them. Sometimes I would see some good moment or had some idea and I would tell them if they wanted a picture so I'd take it. At some point the couple is no longer inside so I go around to look for them. I spot them outside in the back of the place, which was a beautiful patio with decorations and all that thing. They are just close, talking side by side with heads slightly tilted towards each other and I think "Aww yeah this is going to be a great pic" and I try to come closer without them looking. I take the picture with my zoom and only then they simultaneously notice me and I notice that they have the saddest faces I've seen in a bride and groom.
I ask if everything is okay and they say yes so I let it go. Not my place I said, but when the party was almost over the groom approached me and in the middle of the conversation he says that the ceremony was so exhausting for them because they knew almost nobody there. It turns out the mother of the groom "had" to have a wedding for her son and orchestrated the whole thing without them knowing, and invited her friends and family, and then let them know that they would have to come from where they lived (which was far away) to their wedding. That was on top of the fact that the son wasn't on good terms with his mother and the bride hated her. Apparently the mother was very abusive and manipulative. The only person the groom knew was his brother who got very drunk as soon as the ceremony allowed him to, and the bride knew nobody.
Later looking at the photos I noticed that when the two were together alone they looked lovely and happy, but their warmth would slightly die when the mother was present in the picture, but that might be my confirmation bias I don't know.
I remember that the groom said "I probably know you more than I know most people at this party" and had me sit down, eat cake and drink with him and the bride and wait out the rest of the people.
I didn't send them that picture of them although I always wondered if I should have. They were very intimate and enduring something together and it was a very good picture outside the emotion.
No Aunt Of Mine
There was this aunt of the bride or groom (not sure which) who wore a dress that I'm pretty sure was actually meant to be a long blouse. She got plastered at the reception and was dancing in the middle of a circle of people so I peered in between two people and snapped some photos of her. Didn't realize until I'd gotten home and pulled them up on my computer that her "dress" was bouncing up when she jumped and exposing her crotch.
This was a wedding that I shot for an event company, so the way that works is that I just turn over the raw files to the company and an editor edits them and delivers the album to the client.
I forgot to give them a heads up about the it but you'd think they would notice.
Nope.
I wound up seeing the couple's final album in the system after it had already been emailed to them, and low and behold Aunty vajayjay is in there.. and out there.
Here Comes...Something
Did freelance photography for a while after I graduated high school. Got hired, along with another photographer by a company to shoot a wedding. This company instructed us to get as many candid photos as possible per the request of the client. The other photographer was female and we split up during the preparation phase and I hung out with the groom and groomsmen and she went with the bride and bridesmaids. Her session with them was largely uneventful. Mine was... less so.
It became clear that the groomsmen had been drinking for a while when I arrived and that did not stop. For the groomsmen getting ready took only a few minutes, put on tuxes, boom done. So we had a few hours to hang out while the bride got hair/makeup etc. done. The groomsmen took full advantage of this period to get, absolutely obliterated. I got a few good shots during this as the camaraderie between these guys was clear, unfortunately it was like a four way enabling session as they poured each other more shots, played ill advised drinking games, and tried to psych each other up for more of the same.
Once the time for the ceremony rolled around they could barely walk straight, and the groom was the worst off of them. I broke away from them to get my position for the ceremony and let the other photographer know what a shit show this was getting ready to be. She told me that the bride had expressed concern that the groomsmen would get too drunk before the ceremony. We both just kinda braced ourselves for what was to come.
The ceremony started and the groomsmen came up the aisle in a parade of painfully obvious inebriation. The groom stumbled and almost took a knee at one point, and almost completely ate sh*t stepping up to the little platform where they would say their vows. Then the bridesmaids came in and watching their anger and concern bloom on their faces as they took in the groomsmen standing unsteadily on the dais is hilarious in hindsight, but felt like a slow motion train wreck in the moment.
Then the bride, oh god that poor bride, entered the church and even through the veil you could tell she was vacillating between fury and sadness. She stepped up to the little platform and in the silent moment between the music fading away just before the pastor could begin speaking one of the groomsmen ripped a horrendously loud fart. The bride's face fell, half of the people in attendance started laughing while the other half let out a breathless, disgusted, gasp.
The groom barely stifled a laugh, and one of the other groomsmen turned and punched the farter in the arm. It was as if these dudes had no clue where they were or how important the event was to everyone but them apparently. The other photographer and I did our best to get shots and just do the job we were getting paid to do. It was difficult to get any close ups of the bride or groom as the bride settled on f*cking furious for her facial expression for the remainder of the ceremony and the groom was a drunken sod who could barely focus his eyes on his bride. She uttered her vows through gritted teeth and he slurred through his while slowly rocking back and forth.
The reception only spiraled out from there. The groom threw up on the floor before the cake cutting, and was ensconced somewhere. After one of the groomsmen struck out with the bridesmaids he set his sights on the other photographer. eventually our agreed upon time ran out and we got the f*ck out of there. I handed off all of my RAW files to the company that hired me and wished them luck on editing that travesty.
Tell Him "Boy, Bye!"
I was filming a wedding ceremony for some friends this summer. The bride's stepfather was sitting in the front row. She had already warned me that he could be trouble, so I made a note of where he sat down before the ceremony started.
He sat down in the front row and promptly fell asleep. For the whole 20 minutes ceremony he slept. I was so angry on the bride's behalf, who sits on the front row and then can't stay awake for the few minutes the ceremony lasted?
I managed to avoid him in the final edit, thank god.
Count It On Down
Former short lived wedding photographer here, hope that still counts but my Top 5 are:
5. Capturing the 4 year old nephew of the groom as he began projectile vomiting like a fountain in the pews during the "I Do's".
4. Taking a picture of the cake being cut just as the Bride's drunk cousin stumbled into them from behind, basically body slamming into said cake.
3. Realizing during the family pictures that they were being photo bombed by two other guests having awkward sex against a tree in the background.
2. Capturing the moment as the Groom's mother (who yes hated the bride) sneezed big wet, gooey snot etc. into the Bride's hair minutes before she was to walk down the aisle.
1. The couple had fed each other the first piece of cake nicely, not smashing into each others faces. Groom distractedly went to grab from the stack of napkins for his and new Brides sticky frosting fingers. I got the moment where he had accidentally grabbed the knife, cutting his fingers and spraying the cake with blood. Turns out he still had low iron after over coming cancer and bled like crazy.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.