Why is sex such a dramatic aspect of life?
It carries such weight in our lives.
For some, there's a big debate about waiting for marriage.
Other want to know if they're compatible (both emotionally and sexually) before tying the knot.
Whether it's for religious or other reasons, this topic can put a strain on many adult relationships.
First and foremost, we do know we have to do what's best for us.
Redditor EveningAd3633 wanted to hear about all the reasons to abstain or let loose, so they asked:
"Do you think that waiting until you are married for sex is a good idea? Why or why not?"
Redditors from around the globe wanted to share their experiences.
No Touching
"I know a couple who are waiting until marriage. They both agree on it and are fine with it. But they have ridiculously over the top tickle fights. - _- It makes me so uncomfortable to witness. I'd almost rather see them bang in front of me. It's band camp levels of tension that just won't ever go away."
rlev97
Do we Fit?
"No. We waited and we were not compatible… eventually, he cheated and we got divorced. Also, being compatible sexually is not a reason to get married either."
Whatwhyohhh
"I don’t understand how people don’t get this. It’s the same as any other aspect of marriage—if you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t get married. It would be like dating someone, and the entire time you’re both blindfolded."
"Then after you’re married you can FINALLY take your blindfold off only to find out your partner looks like someone set their face on fire and put it out with a pick axe. Every aspect of compatibility is important in a marriage."
"Yes, you both change and evolve but if you’re not both 100% committed to weathering these changes and adapting as a couple, then your marriage will probably not be a happy one!"
ThrowRA--scootscooti
All Aspects
"Personally, I think it's good to wait a while before having sex with someone to actually know them, but I wouldn't wait to be married... I think you should know the person that you are marrying on all aspect."
reidjanie
"WELL SAID - and just to take on so many of the other opinions on this thread, it is NOT a good idea to wait until after marriage. It’s not 'fine if you want' it’s actively a terrible idea IF you care about having a sex life. Hoping it will work out through sheer luck? Idiotic."
frecklie
Things Change
"No. Not saying you should f**k everyone that propositions you but you should make sure you are compatible with someone before marrying them. Too many people find out too late they can't stand someone's actual personality. Things change after sex, people calm down and get real, they stop being on their best behavior. Get to know the real person before you marry an intolerable a**hole."
Sithlord_unknownhost
Stay Calm
Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"If you want to wait, go for it. But don’t set yourself up for waiting until marriage, and then rush the marriage part just to get to the sex."
1107rwf
"Kid I work with is 24. Just got married. Did the deed. Now has a kid on the way. All within 3-4 months of meeting his wife at church. Great kid. But you can see it in his face already. The guy is STRESSED."
PostRdMalone
Roulette
tv land casino GIF by Lopez on TV LandGiphy"Paraphrasing Lewis Black: If you wait until marriage to have sex, then you are a gambler on a level I can't even freaking imagine."
Zerotan
Don’t judge...
"I would say it’s not about waiting until you are married but waiting until it is right for both of you. That’s the key point that a lot of people get wrong. They get to it for reasons other than it being right or feeling right."
"So if your belief is that you should have committed to a marriage, then that is what is going to feel right for you. It could also be that within hours (or even minutes) you can feel that it is right for you. Don’t judge the duration, judge the feeling that you have."
Icanicoke
Cause and Effect
"I’ve heard horror stories of marriages being destroyed because it wasn’t until after wedlock that they discovered their sex drives were entirely different. It causes depression, it causes divorce, and in some extreme cases, it pushes people to cheat. I just don’t think it’s worth it to wait when it could potentially make or break a relationship."
Hiding_In_The_Back
He was right...
"My step dad always told me, 'You might like the pair of jeans you have, but there's always a chance you'll find a pair that fits you better.' He was right. There was no shame in having sex before marriage, and he also taught me that as a female, it is perfectly OK to buy and have the condoms. It's also ok to reject a guy if he doesn't want to be safe. Your body is worth more than his sexual pleasure."
nivsei15
More than talk...
Heart GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy"No. Unless you're both asexual, sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and that's not something you can determine just through conversation."
Deaf_Witch
"Sexual compatibility is important for asexual people too, as in having a similar lack of interest in it."
DescipleOfCorn
Thanks to these Redditors for opening up and sharing on such an important topic.
Some really valid points were made about communication, expectation, and compatibility.
Do you have any thoughts to share? Let us know in the comments below.
When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.
But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.
And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.
Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:
"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.
Caveat Emptor
"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."
– throwmeawaypoopy
"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"
– MrsMalvora
"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"
– opheliainwaders
Value Of Friendships
"That some friends were never really your friend."
– Kangaroowrangler_02
"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."
– ScienceUnicorn
"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."
"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"
– VoxClarus
"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."
– tomdelfino
"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."
– immorjoe
The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?
Who's Parenting Who
"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."
– Smile_Terrible
"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
About Grieving
"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."
– i_spock
Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In
"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."
– HaloTightens
"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."
– deathschemist
We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.
Aimlessness
"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."
– Borsti17
"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."
– BeautifulMidnight-
Misconception Behind Work Integrity
"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."
– DorianOrosco
And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
We Are Our Parents
"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."
– tamammothchuk
"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."
– daggerxdarling
Living On Borrowed Time
"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."
"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."
"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."
"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."
"But the meter is running."
– Boudyro
I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.
When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.
As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.
It's not attractive to gloat.
And there is little more obnoxious than flaunting how wealthy you are.
Particularly if you aren't even that wealthy to begin with.
Indeed, perhaps to make themselves feel more powerful and important than they actually are, many people will try and show off how much money they have in what they wear, eat, live in, and drive.
However, not everyone is so easily fooled, as those in the know can detect a charlatan when they see one.
Redditor aloe_veracity16 was eager to hear the dead giveaways that someone might not be as wealthy as they appear, leading them to ask:
"What’s a dead giveaway that someone is not actually as wealthy as they claim?"
Stating The Obvious...
"When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are."
"A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart."
"An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit."
"And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy."- TigLyon
Attracting Unwanted Attention...
"90% of the wealthy shut the f**k about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece."
"Talking about it constantly = broke AF."- Vladtehwood
Simply By Doing It...
"Making the claim at all is a dead giveaway."- Starfox41
In Plain Sight...
"People who actually ARE wealthy mostly try to hide it."- Matt7738
"Living In A Material World..."
"I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post."
"I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latest iPhones and wearables."
"They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course."- anima99
Flaunt Modesty, Not Wealth...
"As a person which knows many very rich people."
"I can guarantee that not a single one of them wants to be known as rich."- CompetitivePause9033
Schitts Creek Flirt GIF by CBCGiphyWe Heard You The First Time!!!
"When they repeatedly and adamantly tell you how wealthy they are."- Famous_Bit_5119·
Experiences Over Stuff!
"I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition."
"They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much."- Klesea
Summer Time GIF by Merge MansionGiphyAll In The Editing...
"Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing?"
"They're in coach."
"The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through."- Turbulent-Ask-2633
Pack Light...
"Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage."
"The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them."- hadmeatgotmilk
The Less Said...
"I never met a wealthy person that talks about it."
"They don't need to."- 181Eclipse·
Christina Moses Secrets GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"See The Pyramid [SCHEMES!] Along The Way..."
"They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that 'will help you get rich too!'"
"If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme."- illegalopinion3
All About The Simple Things...
"My dad's entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country."
"And I never knew until I got older how these 'Mr. Smith' and 'Ms. Jones' people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class."
"Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people."
"Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth."- Travel_and_Tea·
Anything But Proud...
"I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class."
"She isn’t."
"She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that."
"Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister."
"Likely also 8 figures."
"He insists he’s blue collar and middle class."
"There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having 'made it' financially."- strangled_spaghetti
Blue Collar Work GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphyPeople will try to come off as wealthier than they are for a multitude of reasons.
But just like any facade, keeping it up eventually becomes untenable.
This is why it's always most important to be grateful for the things you have, rather than flaunt what you wish you had.
Life is full of shock and surprise.
Apparently, that is part of the fun.
Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?
We always think we're immune to way too many things.
Anything and everything is possible.
It's important to be ready.
Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:
"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"
I haven't been left that shocked that often.
I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.
But you never know.
I'm Dead
Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."
"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."
amanitachill
Crash Into Me
"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."
aster636
"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."
anjie59k
Hot Air
Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."
GymDoll2000
"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."
Environmental-Car481
This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.
Always have. Always will.
Tragic
Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."
Tssodie
Bad Penguin
"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."
"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."
archaeologistbarbie
All Gone
"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."
"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."
toomuchisjustenough
Good Luck
"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."
jumbospicyslimjim
"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"
frappbarqueen
Early Michael Myers
"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."
Mr_Spaghetti_Hands
Bad Landing
Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."
Competitive_Show6205
This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"
They are minions of the devil.