
There are always people out there who dislike you, even hate you. And if significant time has passed––let's say years––they could very well hate a version of you that no longer exists.
Self reflection is healthy. You're likely a far healthier person, certainly less toxic. We all have to come to terms with our own BS, after all. Thanks to Redditor therunawayboy, members of the online community came forward to speak candidly after being asked, "What did you do to make yourself the villain in someone else's story?"
"Told his girlfriend..."
Told his girlfriend he'd been cheating on her. He'd been bragging to me about sleeping with this girl he met while away. When I let her know the whole story, she was so grateful, but he never forgave me for it. Not a huge loss though - he wasn't the greatest person.
"When this epitome..."
My poor coworker struggled his whole life. From being kicked out of his parents house at the tender age of 32, to not being given a 5th chance at college, he was even the victim of oppression when the police took away his license after just one drunk driving car wreck (no serious injuries thank goodness).
When this epitome of innocence applied to his first job ever (also at the age of 32) his struggles only continued when he was assigned the most heartless and intentionally cruel mentor imaginable.
Many were the tortures I visited upon him, and cruel was the labour. Not only did I hold him to the impossible standard of showing up within half an hour of the workday starting, I even expected him to return to work after lunch.
Sensing his distress at such inhumane treatment my vile masters in HR soon began to close in for the kill citing company policies specifically designed to oppress. His reasonable response of throwing repeated screaming tantrums throughout the workplace and in front of customers went unheeded until he was fired for absolutely no reason at all, definitely not something about his attitude.
But justice would be his! After learning where I, his initial tormentor lived, he began writing angry letters decrying my villainy and threatened legal action for my sabotage of his career. The letters stopped shortly after for reasons unknown.
"A good friend in high school..."
I "stole" his girlfriend.
A good friend in high school dated a girl off and on that I never met. He was madly in love with her, but she wouldn't sleep with him, so he eventually cheated on her with another girl. The original girl found out, and told him that it was over forever. A couple years later, she forgave him, and they started dating again. Her junior prom was coming up, and he refused to go because of some social construct BS, so she asked a friend to go with her. That friend got into a car accident and broke his leg about a week before the prom, so he had to back out, her BF still didn't want to go, so she asked my sister if I'd be interested.
We went, had a great time together, and the next morning she broke up with that guy, and then called me to see if I wanted to catch a movie that Friday. We've been together ever since.
Over the next 5 years, he would show up at her parents house (they loved him) every time he was home from the Navy, asking if we were still together. They'd give him our address and her phone number, and he'd beg her to leave me and run away to whatever country he was stationed in at that point.
The guy hates me, to this day. Over 20 years later. Even though he's married with kids of his own, I still get the stink-eye and hear from mutual friends occasionally that he'll get drunk and b!tch about me. Apparently he left our 20 year high school reunion (I didn't go), when he was venting about us to some friends, and they defended us and told him to get the f*** over it.
I know that I'm not the villain here. Over the 5ish years that they dated he consistently lied to her, broke up with her, and even cheated on her because she wasn't ready for sex, but man does he hate me for "stealing" the first person he ever loved.
"I come back from vacation..."
So me and my boss were at odds. The TL;DR of that was she was a compulsive liar and rageaholic, and I was getting sick of her sh!t. She wanted desperately to be rid of me, but she didn't have the authority to fire me.
I come back from vacation, and there's a new guy in the office. I ask the boss who the new guy is, and she gives me a smug grin and says, "That's your replacement. As soon as you have trained to my satisfaction, you're done." I roll my eyes and start training him. But, we really start warming up to each other, and start bonding over nerd stuff. "Wow, the boss keeps describing you as the spawn of Satan, but you're actually a pretty cool guy!" he told me as we were working late one night.
About a month later, I come back from a job in the field, and find new guy has been fired. "Abusing office furniture" is the official reason, but by all accounts, all he did was drag a couple extra chairs into the conference room for a staff meeting. That night at home, new guy calls me, and lays it all on the line. He was the boss's boyfriend. She had promised him my job, but she couldn't fire me and hire him instead. So their Machiavellian scheme was to hire him in a smaller position, have me train him, drive me to quit, and then just promote him into my job. And that the real reason he was fired was because they just broke up. I tell him he really shouldn't be telling me this...he should be telling human resources.
An internal investigation is launched. Since "sleep with me and I'll give you a job" is the textbook definition of sexual harassment, boss is fired for sexual harassment. New guy is rehired, but his new duties are so limited, he quits after a couple of weeks. Boss gets a new job managing a bar down the street from the office, and will tell anybody from the office who comes in that I got her fired, simply by not quitting like I was supposed to.
"He was laughing at me..."
I had a long distance relationship I ghosted when I was maybe 20. One time when I was visiting he had a bunch of friends over for pizza. They were all into online gaming and started talking about gamer chicks and women in general. Really sexist, degrading stuff. One of the friends saw my face and said "watch out bf looks like your old lady is getting her little feelings hurt." I looked over at my bf, who had been laughing along the whole time, to see that he'd poured the garlic dipping sauce all over his pizza. His entire chin was glistening, dripping with grease. He was laughing at me and his mouth was full of chewed up pizza with cheese mashed all in his teeth. I was so repulsed I left that night and ignored all his calls, emails, and texts. He begged me to tell him what happened but I was young and immature and just ignored him completely until he stopped reaching out eventually. I literally never said another word to him.
"After her week was up..."
I was the co-manager of a restaurant. Employee A and Employee B had huge personalities. Employee B was the assistant manager, while employee A had aspirations to become assistant manager. The other co-manager gave employee A some menial tasks (keeping the refrigeration units at temperature, checking them daily, labeling products for FIFO). Employee A allowed these responsibilities go directly to her head, and she was now also tattling on every employee to the other co-manager.
This went on for a while, and employee A began tattling on employee B for any mistakes she made. This causes employee B and employee A to get in a verbal fight. Employee A immediately came to me and demanded I demote or fire employee B. I refused to give her an answer, and she immediately made a scene in front of customers where she screamed, threw herself on the floor and started crying screaming she quits, and she threw her hat at the cash register.
After this incident, the co-manager and I decided to let her handle it. She gave employee A a week off and time to think about whether she wanted to quit or not.
During her week off, she'd stop by daily and badmouth me and employee B within earshot, and complain how terrible the company is, and how she's probably not even going to come back.
After her week was up, she decided to quit. I blocked her from social media, and went on with life.
Years later I saw her at a restaurant and she tried talking to me as if the incident never happened. I was fairly cold and dismissed myself to the restroom within a minute or so of talking. I have not seen her since.
"She wanted me to cover for her..."
Told my best friend's parents she was sneaking off on an out of town trip with a guy she met roughly 2 months prior when we were in high school. She wanted me to cover for her claiming she's going on a mini vacay with my family but I got bad vibes from the dude and texted her mom telling her I was worried about (friend name). She was pissed. Claimed I was just jealous that a guy was actually interested in her. Never spoke to her again until like senior year of college. The dude? He was arrested for assault with a weapon while on some cocktail of drugs... half naked.
"I understand how things can be done..."
Ended the friendship cause she was quite toxic. You know, the usual you can't have any friends, mental abuse, I'm going to hurt myself if you leave, kinda friend. She went back to the people she often told me she hated and put together a web of lies of how I did all the above listed stuff to her. I'm now the villain to a whole group of people I used to be friends with because I never had the guts to tell them what was happening between us while it was happening. You know, because I hate gossip and i didn't feel like i was worth the worry through all that abuse.
I understand how things can be done by accident and can be seen differently by others.. but I did nothing but kind things for that girl. While she called me nasty horrible things, I was soothing her, calming her, seeing her in person to make sure she was okay. I don't know how on earth it wasn't a choice for her to lie about me.
"We arrived..."
New neighbors moved in down the street with young kids the same age as our kids. Everyone else on our street has no kids so we were excited. Neighbors' wife (let's call her Karen) invites us over one night to meet them and their kids.
We arrived at 6pm and Karen told us her husband will be home "soon." As the hours went by Karen kept leaving the room to call her husband and would reassure us he will be home "soon" and we should stay.
Karen's husband comes home at 10pm. All of our kids are crying from exhaustion and when I finally meet the guy he shakes my hand with a death stare and leaves the room. I can hear him and Karen arguing loudly about how rude we are to stay that late. We even think Karen blamed it on us.
Upon hearing the argument, my wife and I noped out of there carrying our crying kids. We apologized to Karen's husband on the way out. I got tricked into being the villain.
"The worst part..."
I changed schools when I was pretty young. There was one guy who immediately didn't like me for whatever reason, and made it his personal crusade to get everyone to feel the same way. Honestly, I think it's because I was usually just spacing out wanting to go home and I didn't really want to socialize with this person.
About halfway through the school year he starts really messing with me. Kicking my chair out from under me when I try to sit down, throwing sh!t at me, and tearing down everything I would say. I'd brought this up to our teacher about 900 times and snapped when I found my backpack was full of glue. I just stood up mid class and beat the crap out of him until I was pulled out of class and sent to the principal.
Literally no one cared about my side of the story. I had bruises from falling, a cut from a pair of scissors that was thrown at me, and my brand new walkman was full of glue. All just from that day. So because I gave this kid a black eye I was basically branded an ahole with an anger issue until I changed schools again.
The worst part was, a couple days later our teacher made us shake hands and the kid said "I'm sorry for whatever I did. I just wanted to be friends." I almost decked him again in the same eye as before.
It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.
Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.
"Was I not present enough?"
"Have I let myself go?"
"Do they not love me anymore?"
If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.
Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.
When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"
So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".
"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"
"I was fighting cancer."
"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."
"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck
You Could Have At Least Left A Message!
"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"
"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s
Love At First Sight... Or Not
"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."
"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush
Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...
"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."
"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417
Um...
"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."
"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie
So Much For Commitment
"'It's not like we're married'."
"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeek
It Never Is...
“'It’s not what you think it is!'”
"After I walked in on them making out."
"While she was on his lap."
"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris
Two Whole Weeks...
"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire
What The Actual...
"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."
"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8ly
That Only Makes It Worse
"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96
"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!
“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"
"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished
We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...
"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."
"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."
"With multiple women, in 4 continents."
"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866
Santa? SANTA?!?!
"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."
"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."
"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist
No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...
“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."
"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”
"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid
Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...
"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"
"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy
No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.
Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.
History is full of mystery.
There are things we may never know.
That is true, but some answers have to be possible.
Are we looking hard enough?
Humans have murdered, robbed, and pillaged their way all over the Earth.
We've left a trail of unknown scattered throughout time.
This is why history is so fascinating.
There will always be new and obscure topics for documentaries.
Redditor InsertBurnsHere wanted to discuss the world's most unresolved issues, so they asked:
"What is the biggest unsolved mystery in human history?"
The mysteries that haunt me are all murder stories.
When will we find the killers?!
The Absconded
"Who was behind the Gardner Museum heist? Hundreds of millions of dollars worth of art was taken, and we have little to no clue who was behind it, and none of the paintings have surfaced."
Stillwater215
The Linear Truth
"In 1893, British archaeologist Sir Arthur Evans purchased some ancient stones with mysterious inscriptions on them at a flea market in Athens. On a later trip to the excavations at Knossos on the island of Crete, he recognized one of the symbols from his stones and began a study of the engraved tablets being uncovered at various sites on the island."
"He discovered two different systems, which he called Linear A and Linear B. While Linear B was deciphered in the early 1950s (it turned out to represent an early form of Greek), Linear A, above, has still not been deciphered."
"There is an entire culture of information that predates much of our history, a window into ancient humanity that is simply locked away from us because we don't know how to read it."
Atamask
Exact Dates
"An active one in the archaeology world is the exact time frame of when humans made it to the Americas. The date keeps getting pushed back with more controversial discoveries that then just turn to evidence as they pile up. It’s a fascinating story to see unfold."
DocAuch22
"Yeah I like this one too, I think many of the traces of early settlement are likely submerged. Sea levels were much lower during the ice age and the majority of human settlements are along the coasts so a huge piece of our history is probably lying on the seafloor completely undisturbed and possibly well preserved."
who519
Monarchs
"So the Monarch Butterfly migrates to Mexico and back every year. During the year there are a full 4 generations of butterflies that live and die during the journey. Upon returning back from Mexico, the butterfly manages to find the same trees it's relative started out at despite never having been there."
MasonS98
Dark Energy
"We like to think we understand the universe and that physics is a well grounded discipline, and in some ways it is. However we have no idea what dark matter or dark energy is and yet we think it makes up 27% and 68% of the universe respectively."
Ok_Passenger_4202
The Universe is vast and scary, like the sea.
The End
"The final words of the emperor Titus were 'I have but one regret'. We don't know and never will what that regret was."
Ayearinbooks
5000 BCE
"That most of human history is undocumented and we will never know our entire history as a species. We didn’t start recording our history until 5000 BCE, we do know we shifted to agrarian societies around 10,000 BCE but beyond that we have no idea what we were like as a species, we will never know the undocumented parts of our history that spans 10s of thousands of years."
"We are often baffled by the technological progress of our ancient ancestors, like those in SE Asia who must have been masters of the sea to have colonized the variety of islands there and sailed vast stretches of ocean to land on Australia and New Zealand."
"What is ironic is we currently have an immense amount of information about our world today and the limited documented history of our early days as a species but that is only a small fraction of our entire history."
patlaff91
How Big?
"I don't know about 'biggest,' but I always thought the Voynich Manuscript was very interesting. A huge book written in an unknown language or cipher that has never been translated or decoded with diagrams of plant species that don't exist. Lots of theories surrounding it, but no definitive answers as to the origins or the content."
AbortionSurvivor777
Who made it?
"Not sure if it's THE biggest mystery. But the Antikythera mechanism is pretty wild."
"Dated to at least 60BC, possibly as old as 200BC, it's as complex as clockworks that didn't show up until the 1400s, over a millennium later!"
"It's just such a strange technological anomaly. Who made it? What else did they make and why haven't we found more stuff as advanced?"
SmokedMessias
Magic Tins
"Why did we all just globally decide that those blue Dutch cookie tins hold sewing supplies?"
MysteriousStaff3388
"They’re large enough to hold sewing scissors, along with other notions, and made of metal so that the scissors and needles can’t poke through them. Or at least that’s the consensus r/sewing seems to have come to."
butter_milk
My grandma had like 20 of those tins.
Good times.
Do you have any mysteries to add? Let us know in the comments below.
CW: Domestic violence.
Sometimes family are the ones to avoid most.
That whole blood and water thing is true.
Evil is everywhere.
Even in our blood, our DNA.
It can be daunting to learn that someone you share something so intimate with can be darkness incarnate.
But really, that's probably a statistical truth for all of us.
So how do we cope?
Redditor onlyusemefeets wanted to hear about the worst of everyone's family, so they asked:
"When did you find out that someone in your family is evil?"
The Reddit community rose to the occasion to shed some light on their family skeletons.
Money Issues
"When they ripped apart 3 generations of my family almost immediately after my dad died for a measly $37,000. He's a millionaire. That kinda money is pocket change to him."
Good Lord
"When my 11 year old cousin got cancer."
"Her mom and boyfriend were shooting up her pain medicine. My cousin was in so much pain, she told her Doctors. Thats when the doctors stopped giving her mom a prescription and the nurses dispensed her pain meds at the hospital. Unfortunately they could not keep track of medication while at home so they reported it."
"CPS removed her. She died shortly after in foster care. Parents were never charged."
dead-parrots
Death
"When my dad died of covid my Aunt tried to say she was entitled to some stuff of his since it belonged in the family. She even called a lawyer on us and it was big deal and my mom didn't need to deal with that trying to raise 3 kids on her own so f**k her. She still bothers us about stuff and all it is like plates and some pictures and some other things."
"Sunken Cost Fallacy"
"My brother's addiction has led to him spinning some ridiculous stories. I'm not sure if he is very convincing or if my father chooses to believe him because of some 'sunken cost fallacy,' or he genuinely refuses to give up. But my brother has told lies and stories about me and my siblings to the point that he's the only child who talks to my father anymore. He convinced my father that I forced him to do drugs."
"But I knew my brother was evil when scared away my sister with physical violence. Last month, he went missing for a weeks only to turn up after flipping his car high on pills. My father doesn't know it yet, but my mother is planning on leaving him because my father chooses my brother over her. No one can convince my father that he's enabling. No one can convince my brother to stop. Hard drugs really destroy entire families."
sleepypanda59
A New Family
"When he purposely excluded his 4 year old son (from a previous relationship) from his wedding to his new spouse, deleted all photos of his son from his social media, and legally signed away all parental rights. He has since had 2 more kids with said new spouse."
FeminaCanadiana
How can parents act that way?
Failure...
"I don't know about evil, but my dad got remarried and has a kid and stepson with his new spouse. All of that would be fine if he didn't pretend that none of us (offspring from first marriage) exist so he can pretend this family is the first family and we never happened."
"Once this realization hit me, I stopped contacting him, and once I stopped putting in the effort, everything else dissipated. We haven't spoken at all. He does not care in the least. I honestly believe that he wishes we never even existed. He is a failure as a father and as a man."
Raindrops_On-Roses
Oh Brother
"When my husband's brother (1 of 5 siblings) said he couldn't make it to our house to plan their mother's funeral because he had to work. Meanwhile we found out he wasn't working because we caught him on ring doorbell entering the moms house to rifle through it while the rest of us were planning the funeral at my house."
Legitimate_Energy257
The End
"When my ex said 'you've been a godsend, I want a divorce.' I had taken time off from work to take care of her parents. She told me this right before her dad died, and she inherited. She found a boyfriend while I was with her parents. She got the house by declaring I had abandoned it. I was with her parents."
rollercoaster_5
Evil
"When my dad tried to throw my 6 month old sister when he was drunk. That man is a monster in disguise"
iinattanii
So many people really need to be screened for their abilities to raise kids.
Friends, especially great friends share a lot in life.
We share secrets, memories, joy, sorrow and in some cases... sex.
Is this a good idea or an unmitigated disaster?
The jury is still out.
It works for some and is a disaster for others.
Plus it can muddle the history of the relationship.
So what do people do?
Let's find out...
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on the friends with benefits scenario, so they asked:
"What's your opinion of friends with benefits?"
I've never done FWB.
I feel robbed.
After a while...
"Fun, and fine for a while, but less fulfilling than a relationship. Also, you both need to be good at compartmentalization, otherwise one of you will likely end up catching feelings."
Akiram
Be Clear
"My FWB caught feelings even though we were always clearly communicated as FWB. We were both in a big but really close friends group. I got a gf (she had recently had a bf as well) and she got mad. I ended up losing all my friends. It’s been 4 years, and she actually successfully managed to get 20+ ppl to forget I exist."
"Wouldn’t recommend."
sadbudda
The Rule of Three
"I had 3 throughout college. Two ended in us dating and then breaking up. The only one that worked and lasted two years was me and an ex from high school. We never hung out but were cool after our breakup. Didn’t speak for like three years and then when we were in college we saw each other at the bar, hooked up that night, then like two days later she asked if I wanted to meet up and I said sure."
"Then it just continues for two years. We rarely spoke outside of the bedroom other than like ‘pick me up from the bar’. Overall it was cool but I think it’s very rare. You have to find two people who just don’t have any desire for each other other than when horny, which a lot of times is not the case in one side"
InternationalMouse56
Confusion
"I honestly don't understand it at all. Having any sexual relation with a person whom I don't love and who doesn't love me seems pointless and even scary to me. I guess I am over-sensitive or something, because the thought of being so close to somebody without actually having a connection, an exclusivity, without knowing if this will ever happen again, is genuinely horrific to me."
"I don't care what others do in the bed and with whom, but this kind of relationship is just not for me."
ZidanSufuzki
For Life
"If they can provide Medical, Dental, Unemployment, and Retirement benefits then they’re a friend for life."
Stupify_Me
Benefits are benefits. I'm in.
Forever
"It didn't work out. We couldn't keep it just friends once we started the benefits. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks."
dirtysecretsofmine
Hey Buddy
"Very messy. You gotta either be f"k buddies only, dating, or friends only. Trying to keep feelings out of FWB is too difficult."
MarthaTheTRex
"That's a great point. I agree that it's tough to keep feelings out of the equation. I think it's best to just be honest and open with your friend so that you both know the boundaries of the situation and can stick to them. That way, both parties can be sure that they're getting what they need out of the relationship."
Professional-Help114
Taking Chances
"Seems iffy to me if you want the friendship to lay long term. Doesn't someone usually catch feelings, so after the FWB finds a partner they want to keep, it leaves the other party out. Especially if the new bf/gf doesn't want you to be friends with someone you've had sex with."
"Yes? No? I'm not into casual sex for myself, so am I off base?"
lifehappenedwhatnow
Developments
"A lot of people are saying 'someone always inevitably develops feelings' and that it ends badly, but that's not been my experience. I'm still friends with a few of my FWB's that I'm no longer sleeping with over the last couple of years and I'm genuinely happy for them that they've found relationships that make them happy. And I know of quite a few others similar to me."
playswithf1re
In Sync...
"A great plan when both participants are on the same page. Whether that is 'stay FWB' or 'hey we caught feelings, let's give a relationship a try'. A mess when only one participant catches feelings."
Gwywnnydd
Don't get hurt...
"Terrible idea, someone always inevitably develops feelings and gets hurt."
"It can work sure, but in general, unless you're both 100% sure (which, how can you ever really be?) beforehand that you won't develop feelings for each other, I generally have seen it not work."
"In my personal experience, someone always had to break it off just as feelings were starting to arise. So yeah, be careful I guess."
PodcastingPodcastGuy
What have we learned?
Communication is key.
Do you have any WTF FWB experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.