There are always people out there who dislike you, even hate you. And if significant time has passed––let's say years––they could very well hate a version of you that no longer exists.
Self reflection is healthy. You're likely a far healthier person, certainly less toxic. We all have to come to terms with our own BS, after all. Thanks to Redditor therunawayboy, members of the online community came forward to speak candidly after being asked, "What did you do to make yourself the villain in someone else's story?"
"Told his girlfriend..."
Told his girlfriend he'd been cheating on her. He'd been bragging to me about sleeping with this girl he met while away. When I let her know the whole story, she was so grateful, but he never forgave me for it. Not a huge loss though - he wasn't the greatest person.
"When this epitome..."
My poor coworker struggled his whole life. From being kicked out of his parents house at the tender age of 32, to not being given a 5th chance at college, he was even the victim of oppression when the police took away his license after just one drunk driving car wreck (no serious injuries thank goodness).
When this epitome of innocence applied to his first job ever (also at the age of 32) his struggles only continued when he was assigned the most heartless and intentionally cruel mentor imaginable.
Many were the tortures I visited upon him, and cruel was the labour. Not only did I hold him to the impossible standard of showing up within half an hour of the workday starting, I even expected him to return to work after lunch.
Sensing his distress at such inhumane treatment my vile masters in HR soon began to close in for the kill citing company policies specifically designed to oppress. His reasonable response of throwing repeated screaming tantrums throughout the workplace and in front of customers went unheeded until he was fired for absolutely no reason at all, definitely not something about his attitude.
But justice would be his! After learning where I, his initial tormentor lived, he began writing angry letters decrying my villainy and threatened legal action for my sabotage of his career. The letters stopped shortly after for reasons unknown.
"A good friend in high school..."
I "stole" his girlfriend.
A good friend in high school dated a girl off and on that I never met. He was madly in love with her, but she wouldn't sleep with him, so he eventually cheated on her with another girl. The original girl found out, and told him that it was over forever. A couple years later, she forgave him, and they started dating again. Her junior prom was coming up, and he refused to go because of some social construct BS, so she asked a friend to go with her. That friend got into a car accident and broke his leg about a week before the prom, so he had to back out, her BF still didn't want to go, so she asked my sister if I'd be interested.
We went, had a great time together, and the next morning she broke up with that guy, and then called me to see if I wanted to catch a movie that Friday. We've been together ever since.
Over the next 5 years, he would show up at her parents house (they loved him) every time he was home from the Navy, asking if we were still together. They'd give him our address and her phone number, and he'd beg her to leave me and run away to whatever country he was stationed in at that point.
The guy hates me, to this day. Over 20 years later. Even though he's married with kids of his own, I still get the stink-eye and hear from mutual friends occasionally that he'll get drunk and b!tch about me. Apparently he left our 20 year high school reunion (I didn't go), when he was venting about us to some friends, and they defended us and told him to get the f*** over it.
I know that I'm not the villain here. Over the 5ish years that they dated he consistently lied to her, broke up with her, and even cheated on her because she wasn't ready for sex, but man does he hate me for "stealing" the first person he ever loved.
"I come back from vacation..."
So me and my boss were at odds. The TL;DR of that was she was a compulsive liar and rageaholic, and I was getting sick of her sh!t. She wanted desperately to be rid of me, but she didn't have the authority to fire me.
I come back from vacation, and there's a new guy in the office. I ask the boss who the new guy is, and she gives me a smug grin and says, "That's your replacement. As soon as you have trained to my satisfaction, you're done." I roll my eyes and start training him. But, we really start warming up to each other, and start bonding over nerd stuff. "Wow, the boss keeps describing you as the spawn of Satan, but you're actually a pretty cool guy!" he told me as we were working late one night.
About a month later, I come back from a job in the field, and find new guy has been fired. "Abusing office furniture" is the official reason, but by all accounts, all he did was drag a couple extra chairs into the conference room for a staff meeting. That night at home, new guy calls me, and lays it all on the line. He was the boss's boyfriend. She had promised him my job, but she couldn't fire me and hire him instead. So their Machiavellian scheme was to hire him in a smaller position, have me train him, drive me to quit, and then just promote him into my job. And that the real reason he was fired was because they just broke up. I tell him he really shouldn't be telling me this...he should be telling human resources.
An internal investigation is launched. Since "sleep with me and I'll give you a job" is the textbook definition of sexual harassment, boss is fired for sexual harassment. New guy is rehired, but his new duties are so limited, he quits after a couple of weeks. Boss gets a new job managing a bar down the street from the office, and will tell anybody from the office who comes in that I got her fired, simply by not quitting like I was supposed to.
"He was laughing at me..."
I had a long distance relationship I ghosted when I was maybe 20. One time when I was visiting he had a bunch of friends over for pizza. They were all into online gaming and started talking about gamer chicks and women in general. Really sexist, degrading stuff. One of the friends saw my face and said "watch out bf looks like your old lady is getting her little feelings hurt." I looked over at my bf, who had been laughing along the whole time, to see that he'd poured the garlic dipping sauce all over his pizza. His entire chin was glistening, dripping with grease. He was laughing at me and his mouth was full of chewed up pizza with cheese mashed all in his teeth. I was so repulsed I left that night and ignored all his calls, emails, and texts. He begged me to tell him what happened but I was young and immature and just ignored him completely until he stopped reaching out eventually. I literally never said another word to him.
"After her week was up..."
I was the co-manager of a restaurant. Employee A and Employee B had huge personalities. Employee B was the assistant manager, while employee A had aspirations to become assistant manager. The other co-manager gave employee A some menial tasks (keeping the refrigeration units at temperature, checking them daily, labeling products for FIFO). Employee A allowed these responsibilities go directly to her head, and she was now also tattling on every employee to the other co-manager.
This went on for a while, and employee A began tattling on employee B for any mistakes she made. This causes employee B and employee A to get in a verbal fight. Employee A immediately came to me and demanded I demote or fire employee B. I refused to give her an answer, and she immediately made a scene in front of customers where she screamed, threw herself on the floor and started crying screaming she quits, and she threw her hat at the cash register.
After this incident, the co-manager and I decided to let her handle it. She gave employee A a week off and time to think about whether she wanted to quit or not.
During her week off, she'd stop by daily and badmouth me and employee B within earshot, and complain how terrible the company is, and how she's probably not even going to come back.
After her week was up, she decided to quit. I blocked her from social media, and went on with life.
Years later I saw her at a restaurant and she tried talking to me as if the incident never happened. I was fairly cold and dismissed myself to the restroom within a minute or so of talking. I have not seen her since.
"She wanted me to cover for her..."
Told my best friend's parents she was sneaking off on an out of town trip with a guy she met roughly 2 months prior when we were in high school. She wanted me to cover for her claiming she's going on a mini vacay with my family but I got bad vibes from the dude and texted her mom telling her I was worried about (friend name). She was pissed. Claimed I was just jealous that a guy was actually interested in her. Never spoke to her again until like senior year of college. The dude? He was arrested for assault with a weapon while on some cocktail of drugs... half naked.
"I understand how things can be done..."
Ended the friendship cause she was quite toxic. You know, the usual you can't have any friends, mental abuse, I'm going to hurt myself if you leave, kinda friend. She went back to the people she often told me she hated and put together a web of lies of how I did all the above listed stuff to her. I'm now the villain to a whole group of people I used to be friends with because I never had the guts to tell them what was happening between us while it was happening. You know, because I hate gossip and i didn't feel like i was worth the worry through all that abuse.
I understand how things can be done by accident and can be seen differently by others.. but I did nothing but kind things for that girl. While she called me nasty horrible things, I was soothing her, calming her, seeing her in person to make sure she was okay. I don't know how on earth it wasn't a choice for her to lie about me.
New neighbors moved in down the street with young kids the same age as our kids. Everyone else on our street has no kids so we were excited. Neighbors' wife (let's call her Karen) invites us over one night to meet them and their kids.
We arrived at 6pm and Karen told us her husband will be home "soon." As the hours went by Karen kept leaving the room to call her husband and would reassure us he will be home "soon" and we should stay.
Karen's husband comes home at 10pm. All of our kids are crying from exhaustion and when I finally meet the guy he shakes my hand with a death stare and leaves the room. I can hear him and Karen arguing loudly about how rude we are to stay that late. We even think Karen blamed it on us.
Upon hearing the argument, my wife and I noped out of there carrying our crying kids. We apologized to Karen's husband on the way out. I got tricked into being the villain.
"The worst part..."
I changed schools when I was pretty young. There was one guy who immediately didn't like me for whatever reason, and made it his personal crusade to get everyone to feel the same way. Honestly, I think it's because I was usually just spacing out wanting to go home and I didn't really want to socialize with this person.
About halfway through the school year he starts really messing with me. Kicking my chair out from under me when I try to sit down, throwing sh!t at me, and tearing down everything I would say. I'd brought this up to our teacher about 900 times and snapped when I found my backpack was full of glue. I just stood up mid class and beat the crap out of him until I was pulled out of class and sent to the principal.
Literally no one cared about my side of the story. I had bruises from falling, a cut from a pair of scissors that was thrown at me, and my brand new walkman was full of glue. All just from that day. So because I gave this kid a black eye I was basically branded an ahole with an anger issue until I changed schools again.
The worst part was, a couple days later our teacher made us shake hands and the kid said "I'm sorry for whatever I did. I just wanted to be friends." I almost decked him again in the same eye as before.