It's fair to say future historians have their work cut out for them when they try to decipher exactly what went on with the internet of the early decades in the 21st century. Everything from the birth of social media to "memespeak" to whatever we were all doing with Tik Tok during quarantine will definitely many to reconsider their profession uncovering the past. What will stand out most, however, might be the transfer of internet attitudes to real-world actions.
The things we took off our computers, off our phones, that became real, will certainly raise a few eyelids in due time. For now, though, we can only hope people soon outgrow these kinds of toxic behaviors.
Reddit user, u/InsomniacNimrod, wanted to hear:
What toxic behaviour has been normalised by the internet?
How Dare You Attack Caffeine?
GiphyBlaming your a--hole behavior on:
- a lack of caffeine
- the phases of the moon or the alignment of the planets/stars
Who You Are Online And Offline
Family members trying to maintain a certain "image" to project to the world. When my brother in law married 2 years ago, my husband's family was all about trying to please the bride and force the image that they were a nice and traditional family (my in laws have been divorced for years and it's far from friendly).
Everything had to be perfect to show everyone on social media outlets. They definitely didn't like me because I don't really play into the whole "be happy for the 'Gram" image. I was 9 months pregnant at their engagement party and was so uncomfortable being anywhere far from the hospital in case I went into labor. But I had to be there, otherwise it would be awkward to explain why my husband was there alone in the pictures.
Should Definitely Not Be An Insult Anymore
Calling people gay if they do something unusual or different.
This mostly happens at school and it really p-sses me off every time I see it happen to someone.
Don't Get On People For What They Want To Do
Well, I think one thing that is utterly stupid and is being normalized is making people believe in imaginary timelines of what their life must look like at 16 or 18 or 20 or 25. This is basically doing nothing but robbing people of their self confidence and pushing them off track or maybe in an endless spiral of depression.
We must understand the fact. When we buy an electronic item or even a cloth it comes with some instructions. None of us are born with any manual on "How to Live your Life". Therefore chuck the notion of comparing your lives with others. They did this, they have been to this country, they are earning this much, they bought this Car and blah blah blah blah.
A Different Belief Is Not An Attack On Your Belief
Attacking someone for a belief that differs from yours
And then justify by stating your personal points against that belief. As if your belief is superior.
Are You Talking Or Bragging?
Bragging about bad mental health.
If it will help in removing some of the stigma associated with mental illness, I'd probably be OK with it
Part of it removes the stigma, but part of it turns mental illness into a trend, a bludgeon with which to use against others, and a pissing contest. For every thoughtful internet discussion on mental illness I see, or for every person using humor to cope, I see 10 people excusing someone's bad behavior because "well they might have depression or anxiety." Or someone screaming over someone else because their diagnosis is greater than yours.
Not to mention the armchair diagnosing, and the fact that while some mental illnesses have been destigmatized to the point of being fashionable, others are still very much stigmatized and used as a flippant way to completely write off human beings.
On reddit, it's cool to have depression and anxiety, but NPD, BPD, and bipolar are just excuses to cut others down (in addition to being way overstated and armchair diagnosed. Your mom being a b-tch once in a while isn't indicative that she is "a narcissist" and needs to be involuntarily committed). There's also a lot of misinformation and old wives' tales circulated about the "acceptable" diagnoses, too.
It's One Moment In A Large Internet History
GiphyMob mentality.
Couple this with bandwagoning, and we have thousands upon thousands of strangers who would hunt people down over a questionable tweet, sending death threats and making them lose their jobs.
Like wew.
How pathetic and empty does someone's life have to be to send death threats over a f-cking tweet?
Do It Because It's Good, Not Because It'll Get You Points
Doing a small favour or good deed for someone, but recording it and posting it on multiple social media platforms. This type of behaviour has been a factor (one of many factors ) in me ending a couple of friendships.
Whatever happed to helping a little old lady cross the street without having a pathological need to display it to the whole world.
Understand Why You Say Things The Way You Do
Political correctness and idealism over realism/pragmatism. People are more interested in "sounding correct" than actually being logically correct these days. People are concerned how their statements will be received by "the tribe".
I can come up with a million stupid comments and posts that are nonsense but would get thousands of upvotes.
Just Go Check Yourself In Under A Bridge
Trolling. So trolling, which kinda came with meme culture, can be humorous and entertaining, but always at another persons expense. Which is like bullying in a way. I understand that it looks way more mild mannered in comparison, but it can be harmful. Any form of bullying can be harmful. And the internet is a catalyst for these types of things.
You don't see who you're interacting with and what's going on on the other side of that screen, how that person is being affected ya know? Trolling is the focal point of many memes and jokes nowadays, so people do it without even thinking about it. So it's super normalized to me.
You Have To Give People A Chance To Grow
Probably a lack of a chance for redemption. People can get fired for some one-time joke they tweeted 6 years earlier that got dug up once they were in the spotlight. They could have easily changed in those 6 years but their record is ruined permanently.
And then there are people who put their real picture on Reddit and set their real name as username, those people blow my mind.
To Worry About Everything Is To Worry About Nothing
Expecting everyone to be perfectly aware of every single thing that's happening in the world at once. Also, not being able to make mistakes.
Between school, work, working out, and trying to enjoy what little free time I have, I don't get to keep up with everything going on in the world - and people will give me sh-t like, "How do you not know this?" Sorry I don't spend every minute of my life on social media.
Exactly. Plus, not only is it absurd to expect people to know everything that's going on in the world, it's also unhealthy. The constant stream of bad news is awful for our mental health. Trying to keep up with everything is like a recipe for depression, really.
Start There. Move On Past It.
GiphyUsing social media for information instead of doing research.
And the complete lack of backing down from bad information. The lack of apologizing or changing direction when you learn something new. People share falsifications, learn it was wrong information and do nothing...no apology, no clarification.
^By far and large, this.
Fact checking? Critical thinking? Straying from the echo chambers and flood of disinformation on social media?
"lol, this meme hit my trigger point, so I'm going to spread this as though it's fact. I don't really care if it is true or not, only that it matches my cognitive dissonance."
F-ck!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
- People Break Down Which Toxic Behaviors Are Still Considered Socially Acceptable - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Which Toxic Behaviors Are Becoming More Acceptable Now - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Things Society Should Normalize - George Takei ›
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Who doesn't love a first date?
The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.
Even those first-date butterflies are fun.
You're hoping this could be the one.
Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.
Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.
Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.
Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:
"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"
Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.
I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.
Promises
Players Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"
FriendNegative6013
Honk Off
"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"
"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"
He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"
"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."
blu3teeth
Circa 2005
"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."
"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."
"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."
"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"
"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."
mageakeem
Safety First
"Does anyone know you're here?"
Baby-hazell
"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."
Hachiko75
Previously...
canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."
REDDIT
What happened to putting your best foot forward?
My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.
Mirror Mirror
"'My ex looks way better than you.'"
Academic_Ingenuity84
"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."
"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."
LurkerOrHydralisk
Oh Baby
"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"
BuffaloInCahoots
"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"
phillmybuttons
"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."
ashoka_akira
Family Dynamics
"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."
Kiunan5
"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."
Digital_Punk
"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."
Bobtheguardian22
Be Serious
Shouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."
295DVRKSS
It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.
Or do they really believe what they say?
