People Explain Which Things Their Parents Pressured Them To Do Growing Up
How many times have you heard your relatives ask you why you're wasting your time pursuing art when you could go out there to be a doctor or lawyer or something useful?
Sucks, doesn't it? You bet it does.
After Redditor Sky451 asked the online community, "What's something your parents constantly pressured you to do growing up?" people proved to be quick with their answers.
Get better grades, be better at sports, nothing is EVER good enough. We have a couple of levels of schools, I wasn't in the highest, but scored 100% in my exam: not the highest level though, so nobody cares about your 100%.
Became the best in a certain sport in my country: well you're not World Champion are you, this means nothing.
They messed me up big time, took over 10 years of counseling. Floor-is
"Became the best in a certain sport in my country: well you're not World Champion are you"
Sorry they did that to you. Being the best in your country at anything is an incredible accomplishment, so congrats that you were there at one point.
My parents taught me that there would always be somebody better than me (not in a negative sense), especially when it came to sports. This was really helpful growing up, as there was never pressure to be THE best. big_thiccie2_0
My Dad made me pay him 5c every time I said the word UMM because I was using it too much and it made me sound dumb.
If at the end of the day I didn't say UMM once, he gave me $5.
Got me outta the habit in about 2 weeks - lasted my whole life. nomdeplume_alias
Stay skinny! My mom made me start drinking diet pop when I was 14 because I was about 90 lbs and "might get fat." She jedi mind messed me up for most of my adult life.
Edit: for those wondering I was 5'3" at 14 and topped out at 5'4" at 15. PuppyPavilion
Never raise my voice, even before fights I'll say mean crap in a polite voice. Ex: "hey bro, f*** you"
You read that quietly didn't you? IsmalCox
When choosing my career, they prompted me to value money over passion. carmmee
In my country there is a huge rate of unemployment. My parents insisted in making me study something I didn't love but was "useful." At the end, I have been years in a job not related at all with my studies and thinking if studying what I liked could have changed all that... at least I would have tried. angryhippo29
"Knock. Knock. Who's There?"
Knocking before you go into a room. I learned the hard way. BUT THEY NEVER KNOCK AND YOU KNOW HOW MANY DAMN TIMES THEY HAVE WALKED IN!! LDT124
The worst is my dad will knock and walk in. Like what's the point of knocking if you're just gonna walk in anyways? HassanaliBhimji
Career. You need good grades, you should go to university, you should aim for being a lawyer or a doctor, doesn't matter what makes you happy! As a women, you should be educated and have a big ass career, you owe that to us!
Well screw you, I can't work due to health issues and am a housewife now lol. Reddit
This still makes me cringe to this day. My mum thought I'd make a great model. Ok yes I was tall and thin, maybe 'pretty' enough but I was very shy and awkward. I was the teenager that wanted to hide at the back room in a crowd and hoped I wasn't noticed by anyone ever... and if you spoke to me I'd blush bright red, stutter and trip over anything I said.
Mum refused to listen or notice I had not even close the personality needed to model.. and she signed me up to modeling courses, photography classes etc. Pure torture and hell on earth. At the end of a 10 week course there would be a graduation night. OMG... catwalk modeling in swimwear and day wear and formal wear. Far out... I'm starting to hyperventilate now just thinking about it.
Spoiler alert. I didn't become a famous model (or any sort of model). Years later I did overcome my shyness and can now even run workshops and do public speaking but damn mum, she made my teen years hell... shudder.... I can still see her pulling out a new brochure or pamphlets for some new course she'd found that she was sure was 'the one' that would have some talent scout find me. To this day she'll pull out photo albums with pictures of me on stage.. 'look how gorgeous you were'.. and all I see is the terror in my eyes lol. CheeryCherryCheeky
"To the Left"Giphy
Started out writing with my left hand, was forced to change that. Now I'm left handed but I can write only with my right hand. Messed me up in subtle ways I can't quite explain. loopmutant
Go outside and play. JackThomsom
I'm an only child. What am I supposed to do out there by myself. RhythmicStaccato
Yeah I feel you. I'm an only child as well, there were no other kids living near me, the few friends that I had all lived a few miles away, my parents almost never let me invite one of them over and I wasn't allowed to go over to their place on my own. So there just wasn't a whole lot I could do outside. SmokeWineEveryday
"The Perfect Son"
My parents have always tried to make me their perfect son. As if they're trying to make me as they would of liked when they were my age. My dad forced my into crap like cricket and painting which I never liked and was never good at. When they gave up on tryna teach me they still constantly remind me me on how much I used to "like" doing it. I've always wanted to make some form of content say on YouTube or twitch but my parents have always told me that it's a waste of time that I'll never get anything out of but like ffs what happened to all that sh!t you were trying to make me like. How tf has that helped me and my life. Porge069
Grow up. liquidxavius
Good advice for anyone, but most often used as a weapon against others because they didn't do what YOU wanted them to do. Cats-Ate-My-Pizza
Play golf, Swim, everything that could potentially set me up for in the future. I just wanted to be the perfect daughter and I felt so lost trying to do things to make me happy and them happy. Fast forward about two years, and I found out that my boyfriend golfed, so I am currently back in the game, thanks mom. avamidori
You need to have your own life planned 50 years ahead. RybaYTC
I would genuinely love to know about one person who managed to plan their life and succeeded to stick to their plan! tomasves02
My mom always tried to force me to go to church. I lost my faith when I was eight. I loved reading. I decided to read the Bible. I read a bunch of messed up things, and things contradicted each other A LOT.
I hated church, hated the fake people, hated everything about it.
She eventually stopped bringing me, when I'd point out in front of everyone the contradictions they were preaching. guitarfingers
"Back Up Dad"
Team sports specifically, and it was my dad doing the pressuring. I tried soccer, basketball, baseball, swimming, and even lacrosse. But then I got into karate and my dad had very little support for me in that but it helped me be a better person in all aspects.
It helped me be more outgoing and it taught me discipline and respect for others as well as how to defend myself.
While I was doing that I was learning guitar which my dad also did not show support until I started getting really good and playing in bands.
TL:DR my dad pushed me to play team sports but I chose music and karate instead without his support. frozeneskimo02
Be more like my younger brother. My brother could keep his room clean, focus better in school, was a healthier weight, and wasn't as awkward around people. Here's the kicker, he's never lived on his own. He went from living at home to living with his girlfriend, now wife. He would be completely clueless if he had to take care of bills, groceries, and all that stuff alone. I also spent most of my life with my ADHD undiagnosed. It's been in the last 7ish years that I even found out I have ADHD. Despite all this, I still love my brother because none of it was his fault. He was just doing his thing like I was. LittleMissRawr78
Being overly prepared. It just left me carrying around all these random objects on trips for just in case this very of rare incident happened (it never did) and more seriously made me a very anxious person. arbio
SAME, it got to the point where i stopped going places so i didn't have to lug around useless crap. haydenantonino
Playing football. Everyone wanted me to be this great football player because my dad was pretty good and played through college. I played even though I hated it until I was in the 7th grade... to make things worse for about 2 to 3 of those years my dad was one of my coaches and he worked me so hard, which added to the reasons I didn't want to play. ctw1271
"1 line of code at a time"
My father would constantly tell me to work in a world changing app "1 line of code at a time". it didn't make sense to me then, and even now i still don't understand it, I got into coding thanks to that constant push but even to this day I don't think you can program a cohesive app like that. HistoricalFun4
It might not be that important, but my parents would hound me about saying BOTH "Happy Halloween" and "Thank you" after getting candy while trick or treating. If I didn't say one of them, they would constantly remind me for the next few houses. It was when I was old enough to understand, but young enough to get flustered in front of a stranger and forget what I was supposed to say. TYUIOP-AI-ASSISTANT
Searching for a job. Red_Distruction
Same here. My mom wanted me to work in any dead end apprentice job when I was a teenager (12-14 years) but I always refused. Didn't want to work a lot and lose my afternoons for almost no money. Current_Equal
Don't use cheap condoms. EhlersDanlosSucks
That is actually very good advice. boiyougongetcho
"Art is Broke"Giphy
Get a job in literally anything except art. They supported art as a hobby, but my whole family has admitted that they think I'll be a starving artist. CleverCrepe
Here is a flow chart on making a living as an artist:
Do you draw fetish stuff on the internet?
Yes->Grats on your sweet gig. ControlledSingular
i'm a trans man, i was named after my great grandmother when i was born. i tried to come out to my parents as trans a couple times and they just acted like they didn't hear me but would then go out of their way to talk about my gender - ie., "what dress are you wearing to prom?" "you know, your name has been in the family for generations. it's beautiful." "your dad always wanted a baby girl, he was so happy when you were born" etc. etc. that last one was a big point of guilt and hesitation for me since i have 5 brothers and no sisters from my dad.
thing is, i really like my old name. it just didn't fit. they eventually listened to me when i took them to a therapy session with me and came out then. especially took me seriously when i started hormones. they're both a lot more open-minded and accepting now, but from 14-18 yrs old i just sort of assumed they were going to disown me. qbtic
Play baseball. I was always into basketball and football as a kid. My dad is kinda racist and said a white kid like me had a better chance in baseball. And that it was safer and I could play it longer. I was pretty stubborn so I hated baseball until I was about 17. FoghornLeghornnn
Piano classes. Took 7 years and I hated every day of music school. Also, to be a good Christian. Which was kind of useless in the end. Rudzis12
Kind of to be a silent submissive wife with children. Whenever I showed emotion or got rightfully upset about something it was always "I'll give you something to cry about" or that I don't respect them. So depressed teenage years came and some lashing out as an adult because I bottled up all my emotions until it got too much and I realized I needed a lot of therapy. So almost three years of therapy, a loving and compassionate partner (soon to be husband) later I'm almost at a point where I no longer show bursts of emotions but try to explain why I'm upset or angry.
The kids part turned into "I can actually choose not to be a mom? That's amazing because I actually don't want them". Lifted a lot of weight of my chest and after a couple of persistent years (where are my graaaaaaandbaaaaabys) they don't ask anymore. penguinforscale
" It didn't work "
I used to be a super creative, ginormous book worm. My family encouraged it, and i loved the attention. The fantasy worlds I escaped to and burned through at lightning speed was nice, too. Then, i started my freshman year of high school. That ability to win the award for most AR points crashed, and my aunt asked where that'd gone. She tried making me get a book to bring it back... It didn't work. Honestly? It kinda hurt that i was expected to be the bookworm, even after I'd grown out of that phase. I still love fiction stories, don't get me wrong, I just read it on AO3 now. SaandGuardiaan
Be perfect. Get good grades. Don't say anything that will upset 1 person in the world or you're a disappointment. You can't be fat or nobody will love you (said to me when I was 9). Don't speak. Look perfect.
A big one: Don't lie about your stupid head. This was after I finally got the courage to tell my family about my sucidal thoughts and depression. Also, after I came out to my older sister as a demisexual. Reddit
Sports. I was not a naturally athletically gifted child, and team sports were the worst for me, but my parents insisted on signing me up for soccer, softball, volleyball, and basketball leagues for years. I still hate participating in any kind of sport to this day. alwaystimeforcoffee_
Be normal. I was her freak child who was always bad no matter what I did. I didn't behave how she liked, didn't like the right things, didn't dress right (she had me in hand me down male clothes, how could I look like a girl wearing them???). I was just never good enough no matter what I did. She hated my hair. She refused to let me have friends while at the same time telling me I was a freak and would never have any.
As an adult she still hated who I am. I'm too tall, too big. I don't dress right, don't look right, don't like the right things, I'm not the child she wanted. We haven't talked in a few years now. I'm a normal girl, a bit too tall but normal. I have friends, I met a sweet man who she would hate because he isn't white. I'm everything she hates, because she's jealous. She even told me she was. I've had to fight to get this life. Zanki
My mom always said that me and my younger brother had to graduate high school. Both my older sisters did so i guess she just wanted all of her children to graduate. It sounds reasonable enough right? But sadly my mom passed away when i was 13 so at that point i basically just stopped caring about school and pretty much everything else and i started drinking,smoking and i said forget it and dropped out during my sophomore year. My brother also dropped out during his sophomore year but not a day goes by that i don't regret not staying in school. I'm also sure that my poor mom would have been disappointed in both of us for not finishing. Stay in school kids. cappilla
Have an idea of what i wanted to do with my life - in no way were they pressuring me to do a specific thing, and they were very clear that they were supportive of whatever i choose. They just wanted me to know what i wanted to do so I could work towards it; which as a very indecisive (but stressy) person just added extra internal pressure. StarshipCaptains
To not spend money.
Parents constantly screamed at each other about minor stuff, like $5 on screwdrivers from Walmart despite being pretty damn wealthy.
Dad made over 200k annually, but I was too scared to ask for money to go on a 5th grade class field trip to six flags.
Ended up being the only one in class who didn't go.
Sat with a substitute teacher in class until I lied and said my mom was supposed to pick me up at 10. Walked home and lied saying that it was a half-day. YeOLDEdandy
Go to church. I was a pretty self motivated kid who loved school so they didn't have to worry about me too much in general.
I'm a successful adult now, but an atheist. Sorry mom and dad! queennbee
"A family friend..."
A family friend of mine wasn't allowed to date as a teenager. If he showed interest in a girl his parents just teased him about it, or they told him that relationships distracted him from getting good grades.
As a result he then became quite hesitant in interacting with the opposite gender and unfortunately it shows now. He's now in his late 20s and whilst he has a very successful career, he still hasn't even kissed a girl and is still generally very awkward around women.
The moment he graduated university, his parents have been saying "When are you going to bring a nice girl home? We want grandkids!". They've been constantly hounding him about it. I have a feeling they are going to be massively disappointed, but at the same time I hope he proves me wrong.
I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but they really emphasized gender roles and would make fun of me if I ever did something that went against my assigned sex. Jokes on them though, now I've realized I'm genderfluid and am being as masculine and feminine as I damn well please. Robinisnotaline
"Here on behalf..."
Here on behalf of Asians. The three magic words are: Doctor, lawyer or engineers.
Any other career is a failure.
"You're so smart"
Because I like to write, they assumed that I always was capable of writing anything at any given time, and couldn't grasp that maybe I didn't always WANT to write, and maybe I was blocked sometimes. Creativity isn't just a switch you can flip on or off... at least in my experience.
I also constantly got the "You're so smart, you should aim higher and higher than where you currently are" spiel. Aka the "nothing is ever enough" spiel. Let me figure out what my own damn happy place is, thanks.
Alcohol, as early as 13 I was doing shots with family and friends. I live in Wisconsin and am surrounded by alcoholism. Now I'm 34 years old with the liver of a 50 year old sailer. Cheers matey.
"In a bit of a role reversal..."
In a bit of a role reversal, I've always been pressured by my mom to become a professor of arts or humanities and it drives me crazy. There's a lot of creative professionals on her side of the family so I've had a lot of experience with that sort of thing but it's never "clicked." I'm starting to get my sh!t together to apply to law school this fall and she's gotten super cagey talking about it.
Chores. Like, an insane amount. I'm almost certain my dad only wanted kids in order to clean up his mess. After I got a job in high school they had me come home during my open school periods in order to get my chores done because I was no longer around after school to do them.
"That sounds like a good thing..."
Be self sufficient/independent. This sounds like a good thing and it is, in moderation. But sometimes kids need some emotional or financial support. 10 year olds should not be made to feel guilty for having needs, like sympathy or socks.
"My mom wanted me..."
My mom wanted me to be a doctor. Followed closely by lawyer. I'm 28 and she is still trying to get me to be a lawyer.
To get a blue collar factory job that I'd hate that would work me to death with 6 days of 12 hour shifts just because it would get me money. Like literally recommending I drop out if college to do that, even though I have 0 qualifications and am not interested in that field. They also tried to convince my partner to do the same even though he has a good paying job.
"Now I'm double majoring..."
Make babies, give them grandchildren, find a husband, and become a stay at home mom that homeschooled her kids.
Now I'm double majoring in STEM courses, planning to attend graduate school for a masters, and was even encouraged by one of my professors to pursue a PhD.
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Reddit user BlundeRuss asked: 'What’s the first thing you do when you get into a hotel room?'
My family went on a lot trips when I was young, and we always stayed in hotel rooms. Around the time my brother and I were old enough to stay in a room by ourselves (our parents would stay in another one, usually across the hall), he also became a bit of a germaphobe.
At the time, I actually believed hotels changed the sheets on the beds daily, so when my brother fretted about the cleanliness of the hotels, I reassured him they were fine. He believed me at first, since I was his big sister, but by the time he was 12, he got suspicious.
During one of our trips, he decided to test this by making a mark on his pillow cover with a pen and turning the pillow cover inside out before we left for sightseeing the next morning. When we returned, he turned the pillow cover back, and his mark was still there, proving that the sheets hadn't been changed. He only had to do this one more time, during our next trip, for me to realize this wasn't a one-off.
Ever since, and even now in adulthood, my brother and I always intentionally spill something on our sheets during our first night in order to get clean sheets, at least for the duration of our stay. This, in fact, is the first thing we do.
I'm not the only person who does something a bit quirky like this when they first enter a hotel rooms. Plenty or Redditors have stories about this and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor BlundeRuss asked:
"What’s the first thing you do when you get into a hotel room?"
Preparing For Sights
"Go to the balcony to see if it's going to be public nudity or private nudity during my morning coffee."
"I love that this doesn’t change your plans, just prepares your mind. Excellence."
Show Me The Truth
"Put my bags up on something and check the mattress. I also bought a UV flashlight but after using it at home I’ve decided that bringing it to a hotel would be unnecessary torture. Nothing is clean when you shine the thing on it. And I mean nothing."
"One of my close friends travels a ton for business. She also loves to sleep in a f**king ice box."
"She has found some resource for how to basically jailbreak hotel thermostats. Each hotel thermostat has a specific key sequence that unlocks the lower temps that the hotel normally doesn’t allow guests to set because, you know, money."
"I do this in every hotel."
"Set bags down."
"Look at room for cleanliness."
"Take a dump."
"I showed up early to a hotel after 12 hours straight of driving. Took forever for them to get me in the room (really it was probably only 30 minutes and they were super accommodating)."
"Anyways, I had been feeling the tyrannical gouging of a sh*t demon trying to claw it's way out for about half an hour beforehand. I ran down the hall, opened the door, threw my bag at something, and was kinda hovering over the toilet just in time. Hadn't put cheek to rim yet and my darling baby began his exit."
"It wasn't until after I looked up that I realized neither door was the self-closing kind and you could see all the way in from the hallway."
"You’ve unlocked a childhood memory. I stayed in a lot of hotels while growing up and I saw someone in your position once, trail of belongings leading to the toilet. So I went and shut the door for him."
"Find the bible and flip through it. When my sister and I were kids, we went to Disney, and I think she asked why is there always a bible in the drawer, waved it by the spine and 20 bucks fell out. So I always check now."
"I found $100 that way. 5 crisp 20's,. I was pretty broke at the time too."
"First, I look at the area between the mattress and headboard for any signs of bed bugs, then under the sheets. I’ve never encountered them, but I’ve heard so many horror stories that I’m paranoid about them."
"As someone who worked in hotels, I always double check the door locks and then inspect for bed bugs."
"Look for cameras. I'm a paranoid f**k."
"If anyone wants to see an overweight guy in his mid-40s eat pringles in his underwear while reading Stephen King novels, then they have my flabby white blessing."
"They sell surprisingly easy to use scanners on Amazon. I found a camera in an air bb bedroom alarm clock, threw a towel over it and got the whole stay for free. Some will detect signals but the best way is there’s a looking glass that’s red and it emits a light and you turn off all the lights and look around the room. Any active camera will shine like a cats eyes when you skim over it."
The Things We Find
"I check in odd places to see if anyone stashed drugs or money. You would be surprised at all the sh*t I’ve found over the years!"
"We found an axe under the bed once."
"Yank the comforter off the bed and throw it in the corner. they rarely wash those things."
"I discovered this recently while calling home to say good night to everyone. Dried food stuck to the comforter. Threw that bad boy off the bed."
"I cleaned an air BnB for a little while and I was so disturbed when they told me they didn't wash the comforter because hotels don't.... Like I guess I get it because they're heavy and they're trying to save water on the washes but yuck dude... Cleaning that air Bnb made me NEVER want to book one because of the sh*t the owners wouldn't LET me clean... I don't think I'd ever survive as a maid for a hotel, I could never travel again lol."
It's A Process
"Make a condom for the TV remote control. Take the ice bag from the ice bucket and put the remote in it. Now I never have to touch the remote."
"I'm sure disinfectant wipes could do the job."
Check For Monsters...People Monsters
"Make sure no one is hiding under the bed or in the bathroom 😂😅"
"I travel a lot for work…and I’m shocked no one else mentioned this. First I check the closet, under the bed, the bathroom for a hiding serial killer…then check the mattress for bedbugs…"
Today I Learned
"Check for cleanliness and then take pictures Traffickcam."
"Traffickcam is an app where you take specific pictures of your room and then upload them to their database. They use these pictures to check on the location of human trafficking victims."
"Take a picture of the room and post it on the Trafickcam app so if the room or similar has been used by human traffickers maybe it will help find someone."
And thanks to those last two stories, I'm a little scared to stay in another hotel.
Small acts of kindness that only a few know about can change the world.
You never know.
One smile can change one person's day.
And that person could carry it on.
So doing it ourselves may be the only answer.Redditor sashayingthru wanted to discuss the ways we know the world is still good, so they asked:
"What small act of kindness were you once shown that you will never forget?"
As someone who has waited on many tables, just tip properly.
You'll go to Heaven.
StrangersRobin Williams Dancing GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"I once walked to a store to buy bags for my vacuum cleaner and I forgot to take my wallet. The shop owner gave me the bags, shook my hand, and told me to bring him to money tomorrow. He put his trust in a total stranger to do the right thing and I did."
In the Rain
"A man in a full business suit with a briefcase handed me an umbrella in a torrential rain storm and wouldn't take no for an answer. I still had to walk through Times Square to get to the train and I'm sure he got soaked going wherever he was going. A couple of weeks later, I gave the umbrella to a lost girl in my neighborhood when it started to rain and she didn't have one. Felt like the universe wanted it to happen."
"I'll never forget that man though."
Leggo my Lego
"When I was maybe 4 or 5 years old, I made friends with another kid in an airport, and he was playing with a couple glued glued-together Lego cars. Me and that kid played for like an hour with those things and when it was time to go our separate ways and board the plane, the kid insisted I keep one of the cars, and while I insisted he should keep them, he said it was proof that we were friends, and to this day roughly 20 years later, I still have that car packed up with my childhood mementos box."
"That friend of mine was a good kid. Hope he’s doin' well."
Don't Cry Tammy
"My husband and I were sitting on our porch holding hands and crying, just feeling overwhelmed because we were waiting to find out whether or not my tumor was cancerous. Our neighbor saw it when he was coming home. About half an hour later he came over with some freshly baked cookies. He didn't even say anything, just smiled, handed them to us, and then went back home."
"Just thinking about that moment has me crying again. From his kindness, not the fear. Tammy the Ti**y Tumor turned out benign!"
Coasting...Fail Will Ferrell GIF by Paramount PicturesGiphy
"I literally coasted into a gas station out of gas on my motorcycle, then realized I didn't have my wallet. Some lady saw me patting all my pockets and I was upset and offered to fill up my tank. I only let her put $5 in, which on a bike is a lot. But it meant so much to me."
Give people gas as often as possible..
Pay it forward.
Generosityhappy silent film GIF by Charlie ChaplinGiphy
"My realtor took less commission so that I could get my dream home. It was a rare find in a great neighborhood."
"Years ago my car got egged real badly overnight while parked on the driveway of our duplex. We had to go somewhere the next morning so took the wife’s car. Came back hours later and my car was shining like new on the driveway. The neighbor whose name I didn’t even know at that point had washed it for me while we were away."
Are those still a thing?
"I was in maybe 4th grade and my parents just had my younger sister, so newborn focused. I went to my school lunch, opened my paper bag (are those still a thing?), and unwrapped the foil holding my sandwich. There was nothing inside. It was actually just 2 slices of dry white slice bread and I was sad."
"Literally, my table mates all chipped in various components and made me the most amazing ham and cheese sandwich I’ve ever had. I’ve been chasing that dragon of ham sandwich since but I’m sure it was the response and not the ingredients that I loved."
"19 years old, first apartment, first winter, first winter utility bill. I smiled and told my coworker I'd just pay it, skip lunch, and eat cheap Mac and cheese for dinner. It'll be ok. All that month co-workers accidentally got extra chips from the vending machine. A wife packed an extra sandwich. A box of my favorite crackers would be on my desk when I came in. It was still hard but I didn't starve. Thanks, you guys."
Just TearsBig Brother Omg GIF by Global TVGiphy
"I was on the subway, sitting there crying because I had just ended a relationship. I wasn't making any noise, just tears, but the guy sitting next to me gave me some tissues. I'll never forget that."
Some of the best people ride the subway.
Everyone has tissues.
Content Warning: Toxic Behavior
As much as we might like to hope otherwise, not all relationships are meant to work out.
Not only are some couples not meant to be, but sometimes there are super valid reasons for a relationship to end beyond simply not being compatible, like toxic behaviors.
But a significant other being toxic will not be obvious upon first meeting them or going on a first date with them. Otherwise, we never would have dated them in the first place.
Redditor BlackenSphinx asked:
"What did your partner say or do that made you realize that they were a toxic person?"
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
"When they kept apologizing for the same thing, then doing it anyway, never changing for the past 10 years."
"My wife got a quote from a teacher that we've tried to instill in our kids:"
"'Saying sorry means not doing it again.'"
"Obviously, accidents aren't included, but yeah when you hurt someone and apologize, don't do that thing again."
A New Kind of Arranged Marriage
"Lots of things, but I think probably the worst and most impactful was when she peed on a stick for her friend while she was pregnant."
"Her friend then convinced her boyfriend to marry her. They were divorced several years later, after what I can only assume was an absolutely awful marriage."
"'Nobody as good looking as me will ever love your personality.'"
"Ugh, that's the kind of s**t I'd think about and let eat me away for YEARS."
In Sickness and In Health
"I was at a party with my ex-wife and someone brought out a newspaper with headlines about a local official being in an accident and being paralyzed."
"My ex-wife, without hesitation, said, 'If that happened to my husband, I would be out of here.'"
"My biggest motivator of leaving an ex was that I couldn’t see him taking care of me if something were to happen to me."
Children Come First
"This one is minor, but I had an ex who wanted to buy her daughter some new shoes. We were at an outlet mall and they had a BOGO (Buy One, Get One Free) sale."
"She found a cute pair for herself but was having trouble finding a pair for her daughter."
"I love being helpful and found a pair that fit her daughter's personality to a T."
"But she wouldn't buy them because they were $5 more expensive than the pair she was getting for herself."
"Both were combined under $50, and she wasn't hurting for cash. She just refused to spend more on her daughter than on herself out of principle."
"This one reallyyyyy irritates me. She sounds like the kind of 'parent' who wouldn't give up a meal to make sure their baby ate if it came down to it."
"As someone who has to make that decision nearly every day... my baby eats, even if I don't. Always."
The Silent Treatment
"We weren't living together, but he randomly cut me off for like a full week. He wouldn't answer my texts or anything. We were long-distance (different colleges halfway across the country) so I couldn't, like, go check on him."
"Anyway, he finally comes back and tells me it was a punishment for not being interesting enough. He liked me because I was an intellectual who would have Deep Conversations (tm) with him and I'd been talking too much about things he didn't find interesting."
"I dumped him shortly after and he acted like it came out of nowhere."
"He criticized everybody. He was mean about his family, his friends, and his colleagues. It seemed very small at first, I knew he was depressed and so was naturally more cynical and had a low view of himself, but he'd laugh and joke with friends on the phone or in person for hours and then the minute they were gone... Awful."
"I rationalized it for too long and then realized it would be the same about me. Then convinced myself it wouldn't be because he always hyped me up... Until I heard it."
"He played the victim so, so well. Scary, really."
Ableism at Its Finest
"I had an ex say. 'What could you possibly be depressed about?'"
"I was an id**t and stayed with her for three more years after that."
Not Over Their Ex
"He slept with his ex frequently for six months... in the house that I bought us... in my childhood bed that I took with me from home... all whilst I was at work."
"He was changing over phones from an old school brick type to an iPhone. He went out to work and his old phone kept buzzing. I saw a very familiar name pop up…"
"He told me that she was crazy and they weren’t in contact as she was obsessed with him (Red flag, I know). There are some things I read that I wish I could erase from my memory."
"When everything was out in the open, she began bullying me online about it."
"We were engaged. as well. Lucky I found out before we got married!"
Different Definitions of "Cheating"
"She cheated on me with a Yankees player because I 'cheated on her first.'"
"How did I cheat? By going to her favorite burger spot without her while she was having sushi with her girlfriends."
"I found out she cheated with three other guys too."
"Somehow the most venom in this story came from 'a Yankee player,' lol (laughing out loud)."
"I'm guessing he's either a Mets or Red Sox fan."
Gone with the Rose-Colored Glasses
"It wasn't so much what he was saying but the action he did about it."
"He used to tell me all the time that I should get contact lenses because he wanted to see what I looked like without glasses."
"I need glasses full time to see because I have an extremely bad prescription and astigmatism. They're both very high and it's impossible to see without glasses. If I take my glasses off, I can't even find them so I have to make sure I know exactly where I set them."
"One day out of town for a large event we had been planning to attend for over a year, he hid my glasses and acted like he couldn't find them."
"I had NEVER had glasses just disappear. It might take me a while to find them, but if I have someone else around me, it's usually somewhere obvious."
"I figured, 'Oh, that's okay, I have prescription sunglasses on me, as well; I'll just wear sunglasses for the event.' I asked him to pull them out of my bag as they were in a zip glass case, I know for a fact they are in there because I switched them out after arriving at the hotel."
"He pulled out the case and tried to tell me they weren't in there and that I must have dropped them somewhere."
"I begged him to help me search the hotel, I called downstairs, I had staff members helping me search, and I was in the lobby on my hands and knees feeling around trying to find them."
"He was busy getting ready upstairs and told me to just go to the event without them; I'll be fine."
"I absolutely refuse to leave without my glasses. I told him to go have a good time but I'm not leaving the hotel room and going into a crowded strange place in a strange city being unable to see."
"Well suddenly, right before we're about to leave, he pretended he found my glasses and they were just sitting on the bathroom counter the whole time. As if I didn't search every single inch and feel around every inch of that vanity."
"After some crying, he admitted that he hid both of my glasses because he just wanted me to see that it's not so bad and that if I just go without them for a little while my eyes will adjust and I'll be able to see fine."
Silence to the Extreme
"I had a girlfriend who got mad at me, and I had no idea why. For three days, she would call, say nothing, and if I hung up, she would call back."
"I turned off my phone, and she'd call my parents or show up at my house (in high school still living with my parents). This went on for three days. I basically didn't sleep."
"I was a senior and still in school, and she had graduated the year before. On the third night, she yelled at me for keeping her up, and it was the end of the fight."
"The next day, I asked what I did. She said nothing she was just angry and wanted to fight."
"It took me going to college and her finding some other poor sap to torture to finally get away from her. I was young and naive, and now know I should have involved a court order and police."
"It was h**l. But from it, I ended up with my now wife, and without that h**l, I would not be where I am today, which is something I would never change."
The Most Controlling of the Controlling
"She yelled at me for wanting to talk to my family after she and my dad had a minor argument. She also blocked my old friends, family, and coworkers in my phone while I slept."
"Throw the whole girl away."
"I did that a month ago, and this has been the best month I've had in three years."
These accounts were terribly eye-opening, and they're a great reminder that a toxic relationship may not be identifiable until it's made glaringly obvious to us.
Fortunately, all of these Redditors were talking about exes, which means that they were able to move beyond these tough situations.
People love horror films because they know the terror depicted on the big screen is pure Hollywood magic and completely fake.
But when it comes to true-life terrors, even the most dedicated horror film aficionados can be left trembling in their boots.
Curious to hear some of the most absolutely hair-raising events from strangers online, Redditor Ok-Bid-1179 asked:
"What’s the scariest 100% true story you’ve heard of?"
These real-life stories may keep you up at night.
Befriending A Murderer
"My uncle was in a bar one night and started talking to this random guy. He described him as 'a really nice guy.'"
"He met him a few other times in the same bar. They drank and talked about random stuff. Soon after, my uncle stopped seeing the guy at the bar."
"Idk how long after, but my uncle got notified that he had jury duty. He showed up and found out what it was for. A serial killer and the killer was his friend from the bar. Derrick Todd Lee."
"My uncle was promptly dismissed from jury duty for obvious reasons."
People had sinister stories related to jobs.
Late Night Shift Employee
"I work midnight shift at a gas station and I have for quite awhile at various stations in different areas with varying levels of criminal activity."
"I have regulars, of course. I’m a small-statured woman (as is my partner the other half of the week, and we’ve always been partners) so these regulars often worry about us and keep watch on creepy occurrences when they can."
"I had one man who worked in the metro an hour away who would stop in every morning for his cigarettes. He never smiled or seemed friendly, and as I often do, I tried to think of what I could do that might make him smile one day."
"It took many months but I finally pulled it off by having his cigarettes ready on the counter and already scanned for him to pay for as he walked in. He smiled, and then asked me"
“Do you ever get scared on the night shift? You small girl, is not safe.”
"I said I sometimes did but we could lock the doors and hide if we had to, and that the provincial police (think state troopers, if you’re American) had a station close by and came in often to get their highway vehicles washed. I had a good rapport with those police. He nodded and then told me a story about when he first moved to our country from Eastern Europe with his wife and child back in the late 80’s, early 90’s."
"He fell asleep at work one night at the gas station he worked midnights at. When he woke up, the phone had been ringing for hours and his manager was shaking him violently asking if he was alright. He was fine, he said, what was the problem? He was sorry he fell asleep."
"His manager screamed that it was fine he fell asleep, to look outside. All of their motor oil was missing and the outside of the place was a mess."
"The thieves had come and swiped all the oil and left him be because he slept through the entire thing, and then moved down the road to the next station for an encore. At that station, the clerk was awake and fought back, so the thieves stabbed him to death and left him to bleed out."
"When he finished telling me this, he concluded with."
“If you ever feel sleepy just lock the door and do it, it might save your life”
"I don’t work at that station anymore but I think about that guy all the time and wonder how his grandkids are."
"Here is a link to an article talking about how that poor other clerk’s killers were finally found 25 years later:"
"There was an incident in Trinidad where some maintenance divers were removing a plug from an oil pipeline and were instantly sucked into it. One was able to escape but the other 4 were trapped for days in a small, oil coated pipe for days with only a small air pocket to breathe in before they died. Thinking about it in detail and imagining what it must have been like for them makes me extremely uncomfortable."
There's no creepier place than being in the woods. Especially when these sorts of encounters happen.
The Wrong Friends
"When I was 17 I was hanging out with 2 friends and they wanted to go smoke in the woods. I didn't feel like it so I drove them and waited in the car."
"After a while I was getting bored and decided to go meet them but there were 4 paths going off in different directions so I just took the biggest one. After walking for a few minutes in the pitch black forest (before flashlights on phones), I come across this dip in the trail and on the other side is a bench lightly visible due to the moonlight."
"On the the bench is sitting a man and another one in standing in front of him but I can only make out silhouettes. Being sure these are my friends I yell out to them before walking over. If you ever walked the woods at night it's just an uneasy feeling all around so I was cautious to begin with."
"Well it turns out, juste after yelling out to my 'friends,' both silouhettes turn around towards me. Not a word, not a sound, the guy sitting down starts sprinting FULL F'KING SPEED towards me in complete silence. I got the absolute f'k out of there sprinting also the other way and tripping over sh*t because I couldn't see anything."
"I finally get out and lock myself in my car, but I was really worried for my friends. Maybe a minute later I see them both coming out of a completely different path, they also confirmed they never saw me or anyone else. My heart still sinks just thinking about that dude sprinting in silence wtf was that sh*t."
The Homeless Camp
"Weird....I have a similar story!"
"Years ago I remember sneaking out of my friends house at night to really do nothing but walk around the neighborhood and hide from car headlights. We were young and bored. There was a 'homeless' camp that was down in some woods off the railroad tracks not too far from his house. We had seen the trail and knew what was back there."
"One of the homeless guys that lived there was actually an old friend of my buddies Dad, and he had stopped over a few times and my friends Dad let him shower there and everything. He could have worked if he wanted, but legit told us he just liked living 'off the grid'. Just wanted to give you some backstory on the reason why we thought it would be cool and 'safe' to go check it out at night."
"We were a bit nervous at first thinking what if we get there and his Dads friend isn't there...so we were sneaking up on it. It was a longer walk than we thought. We got kind of close and saw there was a fire going lighting up the woods a bit."
"We start sneaking closer but the trail seemed to continue straight, while the camp set off the trail to the left. We got idk maybe 100 feet from the camp (about 30 meters) and we looked down the trail and saw a faint silhouette of what we thought was a person. The silhouette looked like it was coming from deeper in the woods towards the camp. We froze and ducked slightly to the side of the trail."
"I told my friend that I didn't like it, and we should just sneak the hell out. He said he had the same feeling. As I said, the fire at the camp was just enough to light the area well enough to see. We end up slowly creeping slightly off the trail back to the railroad tracks. We get probably 30-40 or so feet (9-12 meters) and I told him I would rather just hit the trail and just slowly walk back because the bushes and trees and everything were hard to navigate and I would rather be able to see something coming so we could book it out. We played football and were both pretty fast."
"We slide out of the brush and see the silhouette has gotten closer, however moving further from the fire, the light was dimmer, but we could still make out someone or something was standing there moving closer. My first thought was that maybe they saw us duck into the bushes and were coming to check, but it just felt off. My friend and I looked at each other and both mutually and silently decided to pick up the pace. Almost on que, we both looked back and the silhouette was now BOOKING IT TOWARDS US ABSOULTELY SILENT. No noise, just fast movement. We high tail it as fast as we can."
Thankfully, the trail was wide so we weren't bumping into each other or anything. Neither of us looked back until we hit the railroad tracks, then hit the railroad track bridge and were on the other side. I looked back as I was slowing down, past the bridge and didn't see anyone. We got back to his house pretty fast and luckily that was the end of it."
Life is full of many creepy mysteries.
It's no wonder many films are based on actual events.
The ones that terrify me the most are the home invasion movies like The Strangers.
It may have been Hollywood that dramatized events depicted in the film, but there's no doubt such horrific events that have happened in real life are enough to keep us up at night and on high alert.