We all have dreams and we all make mistakes. Sometimes, the dream we follow turns out to be the mistake. One day you look back and think... "What am I even doing here? I hate teeth! Why didn't I pursue.... fill in the blank." We've all been there in one way or another.
Redditor u/Shelliko wanted to know who has some regrets when it comes job choices that have been made by asking..... What career do you wish you had pursued?Meow....
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Professional cat petter. As it stands, I'm an amateur cat petter. Don't get me wrong, it's a terrifically rewarding avocation, but I really wish I'd gone professional out of grad school.
Flames
I've always wanted to be a firefighter. However due to being born with a bad back, this is only a dream.
Being a firefighter in the US is extremely difficult even if you had a perfect background and qualifications. A single position could have 500+ applicants fighting for it, and many of those applicants include veterans and people with graduate degrees. Unless you have connections with someone in the department, it is basically impossible to become a firefighter. Regardless, I am sorry for you. It is unfair that some things are impossible for us out of sheer bad luck.
Creative Psych
Anything creative. Not fine art, but animation or graphic design would be my top picks, or maybe something with programming. Instead of studying art, though, I listened to my parents and teachers and picked a science.
One psych degree and a whole lot of no progress later, I'm finally doing the creative field thing at 28 and wishing I hadn't spent so much time trying to be what I'm not.
Final Cut....
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I had the grades to become a surgeon. I have always liked the skill required to cut up a person. It sounds like something I would enjoy. I just thought medical school didn't sound like it was worth it.
To be perfectly fair, you don't need to go to medical school in order to cut people up.
Safe from Home
IT. Specifically cyber security.
Probably would have been able to work from home.
Look up an example A+ certification test. If you can answer those questions, you already know enough for a lot of jobs. If you don't know how to answer them, then you know what you have to learn.
Still Hope!
Merchant Navy! I'm still relatively young, so maybe one day.
I'm about to go this way. i'm a cadet (noa) on my second tanker and i really enjoy my time, even though i'm 100% sure that this is nothing everybody could do. being away from family and friends for months etc. and soooo much depends on the crew you're with. it can be rough to be on call pretty much 24/7 and working sometimes 14h a day. but for me, a person that never travelled much it's a nice way to see new places, and safe a little money.
Anyways corona makes sure you only see the ports and cant get out in the cities. i have made some friends and for most of them it's the money bringing them back. as a cadet i'm earning 1000€ a month which is quite need for something being part of my education, having food and a room included. as a captain/master the salary can go up to more than 10k and if you stay on board for more than 6months a year you can forget about taxes. so yeah to make and safe money it's definitely a good choice but not so much for social life/ family.
Tasties....
I've always wanted to be a chef but every chef I've talked to says it is incredibly stressful to be working in a small kitchen with a ton of people doing a ton of different things at the same time, with another chef yelling at you because there's people waiting for their food outside.
That sounds like hell.
I love cooking and experimenting with food and having people enjoy it but I don't think I could handle the pressure and stress that comes with it.
Sustained....
The law. Later in life I realized that I had the skills, and it would have been more affordable back then. Basically, I'm good at analyzing data and writing it down in a methodical way, and lawyers get paid a lot of money to do that, whether they're the ones who present it in court or not.
These days, I wouldn't. But back in the '70s and early '80s I'd have made serious cash and had the energy to work the hours.
I ended up using my skills in high tech and made good money. But I could have done the same in law in the SF Bay Area in the '80s and made amazing money.
Genius....
The creative arts. I had considered it when I was in high school but didn't pursue it because I thought you had to be a creative genius to do those jobs (and I was unaware that Graphic Design and Digital Illustration were not the same thing) and I certainly was not a creative genius. I'm currently back in school trying to pick up a 2 year degree in Graphic Design/Illustration, but it's just not comparable to those who spent 4 years majoring in it and getting tons of classroom studio experience.
Human Study
writing listening GIF by South Park
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Become a psychological human profiler. I'm fascinated by how we think and why do we do, what we do. If that makes sense!
The Skin
A dermatologist. I had terrible acne as a teen but always enjoyed popping those bad boys. It didn't occur to me until almost 20 years later that I should have looked into dermatology.
To be fair though, cutting giant skin cancers off of old people is probably really gross.
Stats
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I would love to have pursued degrees in math and/or computer engineering instead of accounting. Everything I do now is self taught programming and stats. I just happen to understand what the double entry method is (outside of porn).
The STEM
Field botanist... only realized 3.5 years into college with very little in the way of STEM coursework though and was ready to move on from college.
At 29....
Always wanted to be an airline pilot. At the age of 29 I'm not sure whether it's worth doing.
I've always wanted to be a charter pilot. I'm 29 as well and have a good opportunity to start over right now. It's just so expensive and I have no idea if it'll be worth it. Wish I had skipped undergrad and just don't that instead.
Burned Out
Air traffic control. At 9, I hold my dad I thought I'd be good at that job. He growled back "those guys gets burned out".
Fast forward many years. I know current and retired controllers. Based on their stories, I would have loved that gig-----and been good at it. I loved what I did/do for a living, but I wonder how things would have been different.
When in School
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Something IT related. I'm going for it now, but I'm 25, and kicking myself for not having started in high school. I could have a livelihood by now if I had.
The Fighting Kind
MMA. I wish I would have done wrestling in high school as well as martial arts but my father would never let me as he did full contact fighting after he earned his black belt in Tae Kwon Do and said it was too dangerous to let me start at such a young age. Then any time I ever asked again he just said the same thing.
I believe this stems from one of the guys in his class winding up in prison for accidentally killing a man with a kick to the temple outside of his house - he would be robbed constantly by the same person and eventually stood up to him one day.
Fur Lovers
A vet for big animals (like felines) or marine biologist! I LOVE animals, but science isn't really my forte, so I chose to become an interpreter (I'm still studying, I'm not officially an interpreter yet).
You never know where life will go. an acquaintance of mine left a VERY high paying Wall St job in her late thirties to be a big animal vet. It was not a cake walk by any stretch of the imagination. she worked her butt off to make that switch. just saying, it is possible.Collections
Garbage collector, politician, timber man, Baker are all jobs I think id enjoy. But I've always thought being the guy who trims the hedges along the champs elysees would be the greatest job in the world.
by design.....
Sometimes, I wish I had chosen to go into industrial design. Get to be creative, have a stress-free, routine job where no lives are at stake, come home every night and only work five days a week.
But then I step out of my room, walk outside, and I see the ocean... nothing but ocean for miles and miles, and in that moment I feel like I chose the right career for myself.
For the Pulitzer
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Journalism. I was going to move to Montana with my sister and brother in law to study Journalism there, but my mother stopped me. Said she wasn't ready for me to leave home. Now I just write for fun.
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I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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