Thankfully, most of my professional life has happened outside of the typical corporate world. That means I've only ever been to a single glorious office holiday party. It was a perfect storm of a party. The event had an open bar and was held at an interactive museum that was within walking distance of several popular bars and night clubs. The higher-ups thought it would be a great idea to ask partygoers to share images using a specific hashtag - they figured it would make the company seem hip to potential new recruits.
We made it four hours into the night before HR sent out an email asking us to please stop using the hashtag. The company had severely underestimated the sort of stuff drunk 20-somethings are willing to share on social media - and that screenshots are forever.
One Reddit user asked:
What's your work Holiday Party "shit show" story?
Here are some of the most cringeworthy and wonderful responses. Seriously, is there any way to come back from twerking on the bosses wife? And can we all please agree to just skip the drunken co-worker karaoke as a general rule? Nobody wins, guys.
The Announcement
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It was hosted at a really nice restaurant and there was an open bar. We all arrived, had a drink, started chatting and joking around.
Then the CEO arrived and promptly called us all to attention. We assumed he would just be congratulating us on a great year and wishing us a happy holidays, but instead he announced that we would not be receiving bonuses that year and that there would be layoffs in the near future. People were PISSED.
There was basically a mad dash to the open bar and we all said "No bonuses? F*ck it, I'm drinking my bonus this year then."
The next several hours were an absolute sh!t show. More rounds of shots of top-shelf liquor than I can remember. The receptionist vomited onto her plate of filet mignon. Two coworkers had sex in the bathroom. The CEO's wife ended up passed out drunk in a chair next to the coat rack and had to be carried out.
It was glorious.
Also literally half the company called in sick the next day, and those of us who actually came in just spent the day taking turns puking in the bathroom.
Member's Balcony
We went to the races for a Christmas party, one of the girls got really high on something, pissed herself on the members balcony then pulled her drenched underwear down and threw it off the balcony into the crowd. She never came back to work after that lol
Fool Me Twice
HR had booked us into the function room of a hotel (one of these big, out of town places that do wedding receptions). Everyone had to pay £50 per head to attend, £75 for plus ones.
When we arrived, the room we'd booked already had another party in it. They'd double-booked the room and just assumed that one company wasn't going to turn up. So there's 300 people trying to share a space meant for 200 at the most. Not enough chairs or tables and no room to move.
When food came, we had to take turns eating our courses while people stood around us, waiting. The venue had lost our meal choices so it was basically "eat what we give you". The food itself had clearly been microwaved from frozen - scalding hot on the outside, still frozen in the centre.
After it became clear that this was going to be the standard for the night, the UM ordered pizzas for just our party, to be delivered to the function room. Most of those who had already eaten the food provided ended up with food poisoning.
Afterwards, we all demanded a full refund. The company got its deposit back but employees got nothing. The following year, HR booked the same venue as they'd given us a huge discount and promised that it would be better this time.
It wasn't.
"Slightly Over-Refreshed"
My employer decided that, on that particular Christmas and for the first time, staff could bring along their wives/husbands/SOs.
One of my close colleagues, slightly over-refreshed, nudged the woman he was standing next to, nodded at a male and a female colleague, both out on the dance floor, and said: "He's been shagging her all year."
The woman he was talking to was the guy's wife.
There was "a scene" in which my colleague had his lights punched out.
Company never invited SOs again.
Talent Show
Company party for about 150 people. Decide to have a "talent show" after dinner.
Initially nobody signs up. They dangle like a $100 prize.
Next thing you know Karen is showing pictures of her trip to Jamaica where she climbed up a waterfall. And the janitor is singing Copacabana karaoke style... with out music. Everyone left, the talent show was never repeated.
- Powellwx
The Graveyard Uprising
The company had a drawing for prizes. No one on swing or graveyard won a prize. A group of graveyard employees grabbed the can they were drawing names from and went through it. Only day shift workers names were in the can. When they protested, the company canned them for insubordination.
LL Cool J
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Probably the time I was in my early 20s grinding up on an older lady on the dance floor to L.L. Cool J.'s "Doin' it" song. I'd say at least 50 coworkers were cheering it on. Next day, I learned that was the wife of one of the Chairmen of the Board. Thankfully, he took it in stride, and was like "She really appreciated you giving her the time of day, you should've taken her upstairs afterward". I'll admit that conversation was awkward to me, but I later learned they were swingers, so it was all good.
The Booze Cruise
We had our Holiday party on a barge whose top floor was rented out to a different company. There was only one male and female toilet per floor and one of the female party goers from that party had had way to much to drink before the meal was even served. Between dinner and dessert she stumbled down the flight of stairs pee running down her leg and falls into the men's toilet. Does her thing and falls up the stairs back up to her party. Next thing you know we hear her screaming fine then, I'll just go, and she jumps overboard into waters we all know are shark infested. Her date, knowing there is no way she can survive given how drunk she is (not even considering the sharks), empties his pockets and jumps in after her.
They had to stop the barge, call the police and end the trip for the rest of us. No idea what happened to the jumpers and I didn't get any dessert, but at least I have a good story to tell!
Different Boss Each Year
They hired out a members club so I thought it would be at least a decent standard facility. The bar was staffed by one rather grumpy older lady, someone brought a punch bowl and someone else spiked it and my friend went outside and vomited blood all over the place.
Six guys wouldn't leave me alone the entire evening because they wanted to know how I had "kept that on a tight leash" because they found my wife attractive. There was a karaoke that only one person did and they wouldn't stop doing it. Two people not married to each other got caught in the toilets together.
Oh and someone got drunk and tried to fight the boss, for the third year in a row. Different boss each year.
Questionable Lyrical Content
I was the shit show at one of my parties. They rented a live karaoke band for the event and I looked through their set list to see what they had. I noticed The Misfits "Last Caress" on there, which was a song I loved and was so different than everything else. For those of you that don't know the song it starts out with:
"I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead"
I thought, "Man, I kind of want to do that, but I really shouldn't." Then after many, many drinks later I was drunk enough to not care. I get up on stage and request the song. The band starts going and I get super into it just belting the lyrics into the microphone.My lip started bleeding and a coworker of mine came and got me off the stage and called me a cab.
The next day I still showed up on time, which surprised everyone and because of that I won an award for being the drunkest at the party and still showing up the next day.
- -eDgAR-
I work in the public sector, we have to pay for goddamned everything ourselves. Christmas party, tissues. I'm 7 years in and only just now am not sharing a desk with someone.
My office makes us do that. It's never more than $25 though. Like we've got the holiday bowling party coming up for our division, and that's $15. And then the directorate holiday party for $20. And nobody really blames you if you don't go, but there's tons of good prizes, so if you stick it out, you've got a good chance of getting some good stuff.
Satan Not Santa
Secondhand story: Big boss kept asking much lower level subordinates to sit on his lap while his wife sat nearby and scowled at him. He "retired" soon after. This was 20 years ago - hopefully this wouldn't fly today.
That's An Exit
Apparently one of the temps at my old work got completely wasted at the work Christmas party, then showed up the next morning at 8am (right on time), downed half a bottle of champagne in a single hit, said to nobody in particular "f--- you all. I never liked working here anyway." and left.
Nobody ever heard from her again and her contract still had three weeks left. HR made a tactical decision to leave it for a few days until they could declare she had "abandoned" her job and then got another temp in, who never heard how her predecessor left.
Stiches Over Staples
Summer party back when I was at Staples. There was this new guy, he was on his first day at the job and we had the Summer Party at our boss' house. It was the typical barbecue pool party and we were like 10-12 employees so it was pretty cool.
THis new guy just finished his first day at the job and understands that there is a party after his shift so he follows with someone else straight after his shift.
Everyone has a good time, but this dude was like a frat boy. He drank so much he ended up throwing everywhere in the pool and fell face first into the plastic tabl outside and broke it in half "WWE-style".
The thing is, he had never actually met the menager before since he got hired by the assistant manager during vacation times. The poor guy woke up the next day, still half-drunk, on the manager's couch.
THis guy kept his job because our boss was pretty chill. He eventually left Staples after working there 2 years. Best coworker I had while working there. But we always teased him about that night.
Tix'd Off
We had a white elephant gift exchange. Pretty much every gift was a bottle of alcohol or a gift card. One person selected their gift and opened it and it was just a 4 pack of toilet paper. He tried to laugh but was obviously annoyed. Acted like a brat every gift opening after. Someone gets a gift card, a sarcastic " Ohhh, wanna trade? ", or " Lucky you... ".
The last gift is opened and he just goes on a rant about how unfair it is everyone got a decent gift and he's stuck with toilet paper. Demanded to know who the cheapskate was who couldn't be bothered enough to buy a decent gift but was gladly going home with something someone else bought. A shy girl from another department raised her hand and quietly said " I brought the gift, did you look on the bottom? ". Sure enough he flips the toilet paper over and there's 2 tickets to an NBA game taped to the bottom. The guy turned red, quietly apologized, and sat down. He left like 2 minutes later without a goodbye to anyone.
Top Night
Intern at a law firm christmas party. One of the lead attorneys gathered me and all the paralegals to take tequila shots with him. The top-billing attorneys, a husband and wife team, both got hammered, took off their shoes, and began chasing each other in the ballroom shooting nerf guns at each other and the paras. Someone gave firm-branded hazmat suits as a gag gift and two other attorneys put them on and began fighting with foam swords.This was pre-Uber, so the firm paid for cabs for everyone to get home if they'd been drinking.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...