Getting out of class as a grade school student was always a luxury. However, it is crucial to find the perfect excuse to do so, and "the dog ate my homework" just isn't doing it anymore. You gotta be more creative these days.
rocksugarrr asked: Teachers of Reddit, what is the weirdest excuse you've ever heard that turned out to be true?
OMG
"I had a sixth grader come into class very sleepy during test day. I asked her why and she said she is sleeping next to her dead grandma in the living room and has been too scared to sleep.
I asked her parents about this, turns out it's a cultural practice of theirs to keep a dead relative in the home for a few days while their spirit makes it journey to the afterlife.
To answer some of your questions: She was from a large Hmong family that lived in an small apartment. She also mentioned before the grandmother passed her family attached bells to the grandmothers clothing to scare away the spirits that were making her sick."
Now THAT'S an excuse.
Giphy
"We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture.
One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it.
We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was."
Rats!
"My pet rats dragged my history homework into their cage and "modified" it to fit in with the aesthetic of their shredded-paper nest.
I told the teacher the next day who didn't believe me until I could get my dad to vouch for me.
Teach was all 'Well if she wasn't lying, why didn't she bring the remainder in as proof?'
My dad: "'Because the papers were shredded and covered in rat urine.'"
Oof.
"One of the girls I know from Uni works in a college (here college is a name for vocational school), and one of her groups of students jokingly said "they died" when someone was absent from classes.
So one day it went morbidly wrong when she asked why, say, Dave was absent, the group replied that he died, she laughed and said "okay, but seriously" and the class was just silent."
Otherwise, that would've been a really bad excuse.
Giphy
"I gave this one.
I was in college. I went back to my house between classes only to find my roommates barricaded inside by police.
Why, you might ask?
There was a bull moose in our side yard and the fish and game people were VERY concerned.
So my lab isn't until 3 or something, and meanwhile there's like 8 officers having a standoff with a moose in my yard.
This continues until someone decides that the moose is an imminent threat and they're going to try to tranquilize it. So they try that and it fails. So now they're going to kill the moose.
It gets to be about 2:45 and I need to leave for my class and I'm summarily informed by the armed officer that my lawn is not safe and I'm to stay inside.
So I emailed my prof and was like "look I know you're not going to believe this but I'm barricaded in my house and they won't let me leave. I assume this will be on the news tonight."
Turns out it WAS on the news - they interviewed me - and I got an exemption on that lab. He told me later that he was going to 100% fail me because it was the worst excuse ever until he saw the news story.
(In case it wasn't immediately obvious, yes, this occurred in Vermont, because where else would this be a problem?)"
Hooray for technology.
"As a graduate TA for undergrad students I was teaching an online course and all assignments had to be submitted by midnight. A student emailed me (this is important) and said her internet was down and she couldn't submit the paper. As in logged into her email on the internet to email me that her internet was down.
The way the class was run, if she didn't submit the paper by midnight she got a 0 for the assignment.
I replied to her email (remember - her internet is down) that if she brought me a hard copy of the paper she could still get her grade. She shows up at my apartment 10 minutes later (I hosted study groups in the community room) with her hard copy paper and a half-melted internet router. She had emailed me from her smart phone that she had for her internship (this was early in the smart phone surge and few people had them).
Girl got her grade and we're still in touch! She proved herself to be an incredibly dedicated student and is now in graduate school herself!"
Now that's cool.
"I had a student who told me he was going to miss one of the exams because he was visiting a famous rapper in Florida with his family.
He told me that the rapper, who at the time was a relatively big deal, all over the radio, was his cousin and his family was flying out for a show and he couldn't skip it.
I mean, I would have let him make up the exam anyway, I don't really care as long as he takes it. But all his peers and I were kind of like "Yeah, right...okay, whatever you say man."
He was telling the truth. When he got back from Florida, said famous rapper Skyped into our poetry class and chatted with my students about poetry and lyrics and such. It was actually really cool."
Why improve on a classic?
Giphy
"Not a teacher, but my dog literally ate my homework in high school. I had to read the Great Gatsby in English and I remember my teacher asking me where my copy of the book was.
I told him my dog ate it and he gave me that "really, bro?" look. Took out the completely destroyed copy and the expression on his face when he realized I wasn't lying was priceless."
That's rough.
"Obligatory 'not a teacher but' someone I went to school with who was late a lot came in one day talking about how he was watching the news.
Yeah right, 'David'. And why exactly were you watching the news?
Some plane had just flown into a building in New York.
My 'where were you' moment is sitting in Social Studies class listening to a kid tell the most obvious lie he had ever told.. only for it to be the truth."
Literally swam to the test.
"I was the student in this case. I was a new driver, headed to school at the crack of dawn to take an AP exam. For those not familiar, attendance is critical for these exams and you absolutely must show up on time or call the exam proctors to let them know you're going to be late. This was also central Texas in the middle of May, which is prone to torrential downpours
So, being a new driver I didn't want to take the highway so I'd just take a little farm-to-market road every day and figured it'd be fine. It was not. It was backed up to all hell because a portion of the road had flooded but Texans being Texans, people were still crossing anyway. So a 15 minute commute became 35. I'd failed to write down the proctors' numbers so I had no way to let them know I was going to be late.
I got to the parking lot about ten minutes after it was supposed to start. It had been raining so hard and the parking lot had such poor drainage that there was at least 6 inches of water covering the ground. And horizontal rain. Even with my umbrella I walked into that exam soaked from mid thigh all the way down, my shoes making a "squish, squish, squish" noise with every step.
Exam proctor: Why are you late?
Me: Sorry, the road was flooded. I had to swim through the parking lot
I was at least able to take the exam, though I was freezing. And before anyone jumps on me, yes I now know how dumb it is to walk or drive through a flooded area, but high school me didn't."
Solid excuse.
Giphy
"I have a cousin who went to his math class and turned in his homework without any proof showing he worked on the problem. When asked why he didn't show his work, he responded with, "A NASA rocket scientist showed me a better way."
Well no one believes him, until they called his dad and he had to explain they had a family friend from out of town staying at their house and yes he was actually a NASA rocket scientist."
Poor frog.
"Not a teacher but I got a frog stuck in my printer just before I was going to print an assignment. This was before email-submitted assignments were standard. Got an extra day because the professor had never gotten that excuse.
Also, HP sent me a new printer."
That's horrible.
"Elementary Teacher here. I had a student tell me that her mom got mad and ripped up her homework. Naturally I didn't believe her. Weeks later at a parent conference the mom actually admitted doing so out of spite because the two had gotten into an argument and that she hoped it went against her grade. From then on I believed the student.
For the remainder of the year she tried her best to turn it in, on occasion I would receive the shreds of what was left of her completed homework.
She got a pass for the rest of the school year, whether it was turned in or not."
That's gotta be a whole lot of trauma.
Giphy
"Mini unit on Lizzie Borden. (That sounds weird, but it was part of a news/investigative reporting unit for a journalism elective I teach.) Student told me she was having trouble focusing on the lesson because her dad is an axe murderer so it was bringing up a lot of memories and feelings.
Googled his name and yep, she wasn't lying."
Logic checks out.
"I failed to show up to class one time and this is the true story I told my teacher.
I was in my electronics lab and the power supply kept making this horrible buzzing/grinding sound. I'd smack it and it'd shut up for awhile before doing it again. Now, you're thinking this was my alarm clock and I was dreaming about being in the lab. And you're quite right. The thing is, in this dream I was a gigantic grape with arms and legs and a face. So once I realized that it WAS my alarm clock and I needed to get to class I was still enough in the dream to think I was still a grape. And fruit doesn't have to go to class. So I didn't.
The teacher stared at me for about 15 seconds and said "I wish I was a grape." and not another word was said about it."
Mercury in retrograde always screws everything up.
"That she couldn't finish the assignment in time because the planet Mercury was in retrograde motion.
She was correct, it was in retrograde.
I love this one. But I still downgraded her assignment for being late."
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.