"[Serious] People who sleep naked, what is the funniest thing that happened to you in that state?"
It was a moment of crisis.
The Firemen
"One Saturday night, my boyfriend and I were happily watching a movie while I was lying naked on the couch (for comfort) when we suddenly hear frantic and loud banging on our apartment door. I just have time to duck under a blanket when no joke, 5 firefighters barge right into our apartment and go straight onto our balcony. Apparently there was a small fire in the building and floor directly opposite us and they needed to check in with their colleagues to get the all clear."
"Once they were done, they had a quick conversation with my bf all the while I’m stark naked under a blanket with 5 random men in my house. It was probably only a couple of minutes but felt like eternity."
– Throwawaykoalamoose
Confessions Of A Diabetic
"I'm diabetic and when I was living with a friend I had an low at 2am, so I stumbled my way to the kitchen and started eating raspberry jam out my emergency jar. Cue my flatmate opening his room door to ask if I was okay."
"I ended up opening the freezer door on the fridge, which was below the fridge and used it as a shield while standing eating jam and yelling."
"everything is fine close your door"
"meanwhile he's yelling 'dude why are you naked‽'"
"I'm yelling back 'I needed Jam!'"
"He's yelling 'why is your dick in the freezer.'"
"I'm just shovelling jam in my face shouting 'I'm low.'"
"We still joke about it to this day when I get a low."
– Trivius
Stepdad To The Rescue
"My house burned down, its ok im over it. The funny part was it was about 3 am and im in my front yard naked as a newborn and call my stepdad and ask him to bring me shorts and a shirt, i guess shock of what was goin on had me compleatly calm sounding, like i just decided to call randomly."
"I still laugh at how confused and borderline angry as hell he sounded, but even though i never thought to tell him on the phone what was happening he did get up and bring me clothes."
– frenetic12345
Sound The Alarm
"Fire alarm while sleeping in university halls. Same happened a couple of times when I showered."
– kolandrill
Ahh, pets.
Tainted Puppy Love
"well I used to sleep naked. getting woken up by your 6 month old puppy trying to get under the blanket and licking your taint tends to end that."
– pppoopoopottypants
Play Thing
"Woke up to a stabbing pain in my dick. It was my wife's cat deciding she wanted to play. Not the type of p*ssy I wanted touching my junk. Haven't slept naked since."
– kantokiwi
It Was Feeding Time
"My kitten tried to breastfeed off me while I was sleeping. Freaky thing to wake up to."
– johntoyourdave
It started with a loud knock on the door.
Rude Awakening
"I was sleeping nude, next to my wife, and someone tried to break in to my house."
"She shakes my shoulder to wake me up, which is usually pretty cool, but she says 'someone's outside.' Oh sh*t."
"I'm on high alert, and so is my dog. This is really happening. I hop out of the bedroom, instinct kicks in. I go through to living room, into the kitchen, grab my cleaver, and storm outside, 11 PM, all my nude, 450-pound at-the-time glory. Little pecker flicking in the wind."
"And there was nobody there. I guess they heard me stomping through the house and assumed a herd of horned up rhinoceri were en route to their location, so they bolted."
"Had a security system set up the next day. I'm just glad nobody had to see my penis, and am more glad I didn't get shot by a robber while I was naked."
– plybon
Brush With The Law
"I was passed out and heard loud banging on the door to my apartment. It was about 2 or 3 in the Morning so I thought someone was trying to break in. I had a little souvenir bat in my closet for defence, so I grabbed it and ran to the door."
"Looked through the peep hole and it was the police. I yelled at them sorry I’m naked!!! Put on underwear and opened the door. They had a warrant for the previous tenant, searched the apartment and apologized. Laughed a bit since my idea of putting on clothes was boxer briefs."
– Electricfoodmk
Sad News
"Sad, funny, and wholesome."
"I (25M at the time) sleep naked, and my best friend (24M at the time) and roommate at the time knows this - I've told him so he doesn't ever walk in on me in my room. He was dating a girl at the time, so he was spending the night in her apartment next-door to ours, so I knew I was alone in the apartment that night."
"That morning at 4am there's a super loud, aggressive banging at the door. Abruptly awoken in a panic, my immediate thought is that someone is breaking into the apartment."
"The only form of combat I know is Brazilian jiu jitsu. I walked to the front door to prepare myself."
"Fortunately, it's my roommate. Very unfortunately and sadly, the reason he was banging was that he got a call saying his mother had unexpectedly passed, and he left his keys in our apartment. Knowing it was him, I was able to quickly dress myself and open the door to let him in."
"Later that night when he comes back to the apartment, he's obviously distraught. I tell him, 'Not to make light of the subject, but this morning I thought you were a stranger breaking into my apartment, you know I sleep naked, and my plan was to do a take down and do Brazilian jiu jitsu.'"
"His response was, 'So basically you were going to tackle me and tea-bag me.'"
"Then he had an honest, hearty, and several minute laugh about the situation, despite the terrible causing circumstances."
– Sufficient-Life-4454
Anything can happen to us while we're in various states of undress.
Thankfully, the examples shared by the Redditors above were in situations that did not end with them getting hurt–except for maybe their pride.
But to accentuate the positive here, perhaps their embarrassing situations made them more thick-skinned.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Maybe that's why nightmares have such a visceral response from us, despite the knowledge they aren't real.
Over on Reddit, user Woody4ever shares a story about what happens when you don't take nightmares seriously enough.
The story was shared to the "TIFU" subReddit. "TIFU" stands for "Today I [Messed] Up" and has users telling about how a small act or decision ended up going completely south.
And Woody4ever messed up by trying to console her husband while he was having a nightmare.
It's not a very long story, so they get right to the point.
"Woke up to him whimpering/ crying in his sleep. It was still dark out and I was so groggy that I lazily slung my hand over his face and tried shaking him awake while sleepily saying 'Babe, wake up'."
"I couldn't see so I just start feeling for his face to gently slap him awake."
However, they quickly realized this was the wrong move.
I've honestly never seen a situation escalate so quickly.
The simple act of trying to wake up your spouse can lead to a real bad reaction.
"In his nightmare haze, he screams and bites my hand. In my sleep haze, I was totally not expecting that shit and my brain immediately deduces my husband's been possessed so I start screaming."
"This caused him to start screaming more as he woke up. Lesson learned. Sleepy time means every man for himself apparently."
Screaming leading into other screaming. Recursive screaming. Just screams for days.
I'm honestly surprised they both came out okay. Seems like the husband was deep in something weird in that dream to make him bite the helping hand.
Speaking of, what was he dreaming about?
"He later told me his nightmare and it was truly f'd. He was dreaming he was having sex with me but then noticed it wasn't me, but some kind of creature."
"TL;DR: possible succubus scenario. Saved my husband's soul but got bit in the process. We're okay now."
Yikes.
If there's one thing we can count on it's the social dynamic between sleeping partners. And by "count on" I mean "cannot nail down at all."
Seriously, one moment you're praising them for saving you from a fiend, the next, you're complaining about their snoring.
"can't be letting those night demons steal your husband's man-water... sometimes you gotta take a bite on the hand." - Cracker77
"Lol, just doing my wifely duties nbd." - Woody4ever
"My ex-wife would punch me awake when I snored too loudly. I didn't blame her." - MaximumCameage
""Species" creature or "Predator" creature.... this is Reddit.. you gotta be specific." - rambler335
But sharing your stories on the internet leads to our favorite thing, and the thing that makes humanity better.
Commiserating.
Who knew so many people would have similar stories?
"One time my ex wife heard me groaning and gasping for air, so she tried to wake me up. She tells me she's never been so scared in her whole life because she thought I was dying. Truth is I was having a terrible nightmare were a grim reaper-esque creature was suffocating me. I, too, have never been so scared. The way she tells it from her end is quite frightening; even after violently shaking me to wake up I was unresponsive.
Nightmares are weird." - doubleohkevinnnn
"I did a thing like this. I awoke 100% sure a 18wheeler was going to obliterate us in bed. So I scooped up my wife and ran into the living room. Then, realizing it was a dream I took her back to bed and fell asleep. She told me of my antics the next day." - bobthepomato
"this reminds me of a dream where i got shot in the stomach and my guts were spilling out. GF sees me holding my stomach in my sleep and whimpering, and she starts to gently massage my stomach with her hand. meanwhile in my dream, a field medic has just walked up to me and begins to massage my guts, whispering"it's gonna be alright, baby."" - KidTrout
"I had a nightmare one night and my gf told me later that she had thought that holding on to me tightly was a good response. Wrong. It made me dream I was drowning in a sinking pool tarp. In my real life struggle to get free in the dream, I elbowed her in the eye." - Ghostdog2041
Luckily, Woody4ever's story ends with everyone okay. And honestly, a succubus trying to steal your soul kind of makes everything that happened afterward understandable.
There are less scary, but still frightening things that can happen in your dreams, especially when it's a recurring nightmare.
Just remember Woody4ever's advice.
"Sleepy time means every man for himself apparently."
Dang, Grandma.
My grandmother was staying at my house and one night, she got up to get some water, and fell and broke her hip. I slept through the ambulance arriving to pick her up.
Don't blame them.
GiphyA fire alarm. My parents thought I had died when they got out of the house and I wasn't there.
He must've been really tired.
I think the all-time champion was a guy in a motel near Columbus, Ohio back in the '70's. The after a tornado went through the western suburbs, the police were going through the wreckage of the motel, and in what was left of a corner room that had two walls and the roof blown away, they found a guy in the bed. At first they thought he was dead, then they heard him snoring.
How does that even happen?
GiphyA nurse was stunned to find me sleeping while I was in labor. She woke me up to tell me so. Apparently me falling asleep triggered some alarm on one of the machines they had me hooked up to (my heart rate and pulse ox changed or something).
I was a bit miffed, because it was like 4am, and I was very tired.
Scary.
My friend slept through his wife beginning labor. She was screaming and shaking him, and then screaming in pain. He wouldn't wake up.
She called the non emergency line to ask for help, and they finally woke him up so he could take her to the hospital.
Late night craziness.
A car hit our house when I was fourteen. It happened at about 2:30am, and the cops estimated the driver (quite drunk) was doing more than 80mph through our subdivision at the time.
There was the impact, the damage to the house, shattering windows, screaming, shouts from the neighbors, staircase charges of my siblings, sirens, everything.
I would have slept through until morning if my sister hadn't woken me telling me I didn't want to miss this.
Hope a fire never actually happens.
GiphyWhen I was a kid my mom accidentally set off the fire alarms and couldn't get them to shut off for like ten minutes and was running around, getting pissed off, yelling up a storm and I slept through all of it.
Yikes.
Went to another university to participate in a competition. The organisers accomodated us in the university hostel only. After settling down, the people I was sharing my room went out while I decided to sleep.
When I woke up, one of them was back. He told me there was short circuit in the air conditioner and the room was filling with smoke when he arrived. The fire alarm was also ringing. He tried waking me up too.
That's insane.
From what I was told:
When my mom was younger, she was sleeping on the sofa in the living room which was located next to the kitchen. My Grandma decided to try and cook a live chicken. (She has never done it before). She was reading instructions on how to do it as she was preparing it. The only problem is that chickens can still survive for a short time after you cut their head off.
After she chopped the head off, the headless chicken went crazy. My grandma was yelling, the chicken was getting blood everywhere, and my mom slept through the whole thing.
