One of the best things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with the right kind of people. These can be people who are fun or intelligent or hilarious.
When you're making new friends, it can be easy to find someone who seems nice at first, but turn out to be different than you imagined.
Sometimes this can be made very obvious. However, other times, these signs are very subtle.
As long as you pay attention, you should be okay. However, it also helps that Redditor my-dogatemy-chancla asked:
"What’s a subtle sign that someone is not a nice person?"
Laughing At You, Not With You
"Once you start noticing the people that are constantly laughing at someone else’s expense, it can be a wake up call to keep different company."
– Joyful_F**ker
Will Dish It Out, But Can't Take It
"Likes to make a joke of other people, but can't stand being the butt of a joke themselves."
– AnotherDreamer1024
"I'm nice. I'm so nice!"
"They keep reminding you that they’re a nice person."
– TrinixDMorrison
The One-Uppers
"Everything you say you've done they've done twice"
– SoftwareRound
Pot...Kettle. Have You Met?
"People that call the kettle black. Will judge people all the time, usually low hanging fruit that’s on the mark, but sounds awfully silly coming out of their mouth bc they’re guilty of the same things."
– Rough-Tension
Now You See Me, Now You Don't
"They're around for stuff that benefits them, and exclusively for that. E.g. they'll be there when you throw a barbecue but won't be when you're moving."
– silhouette-of-a-gun
Honesty Is NOT Always The Best Policy
"They’re always “just being honest”"
– forgotten_alamo
A Mess Can Be Cleaned Up
"Someone that drops litter or doesn’t clean up after themselves in a fast food restaurant. No thanks. Bye"
– LITTLEs8
Do The Bare Minimum
"They don't put their shopping cart back in the rack."
– PurplePap
Me, Myself & I
"When you are talking about something, anything at all. and they say something that isnt apart of the conversation to get onto the thing THEY want to talk about."
– Arturo271
Now, of course, there are plenty of people who are just as nice as they appear to be. Maybe even nicer.
However, it never hurts to pay attention to those subtle signs.
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Sometimes "nice" and "kind" don't perfectly align.
"Nice" often describes social politeness. We use the word to describe people that can talk the talk well enough to embody the image of a good person who thinks about others first and doesn't ever step on toes.
But is that always the best approach to interacting with others?
Sometimes kindness requires confrontation. A more active, direct demeanor can lead to more substantial and worthwhile connections with others.
A recent Reddit thread asked for the finest examples of people being "nice" without being "kind."
berkel-is-a-madlad asked, "What's something 'nice' people do, that juts pisses you off?"
Clogging Everything Up
"Letting me turn left at the stop sign when they're going straight. YOU WERE THERE FIRST JUST F***ING GO." -- collinnator5
"Rule of thumb when driving: Don't be polite; be predictable." -- DP_Lover
"Stopping in the middle of busy road to let a Jay Walker cross.." -- Grapesoda2223
Stalemate
"'Go ahead.'"
"'Oh, no, you go ahead.'"
"'It's cool, you go ahead.'" -- TheButtUglySwans
"The Canadian Standoff." -- MyNameThru
"There could be a wizard on the other side of that door! I'm not trying to be nice, I'm trying to save my hide!" -- SiroMPP
Too Much Hang Time
"Holding the door open for me when I'm more than 15 feet away from the door. Also the waving me through a stop sign when they have the right of way like mentioned earlier." -- Dinx81
"Don't break your pace. Hold your arm behind you if you think the next person can grab it in time, but otherwise just let it go. Doors aren't impossibly heavy anyway." -- UltimaCaitSith
"Also, in covid times, opening the door for me period. I do not know how to respond to this." -- MermaidRumspringa
Dishonest and Evasive
"I'm overweight. I hate it when people pretend I'm not overweight. It's totally fine if they think I'm pretty or attractive or simply not ugly despite or because of my weight, but they can't say I'm not." -- Silver-Thing2724
"I have some stick friends who are always like "gosh I'm so fat" and if I say anything about me being fat they go "omg nooo you're so skinny!!" like bruh I am visibly bigger than you pls stop" -- AdditionalBread1
Questionable Motives
"People who help those in need, but then feel the need to film it or post about it on social media. Why? Just help in private and stop humiliating them." -- future_nefertiti
"I used to work with someone that did this. So unbelievably annoying and only makes the person look worse." -- crazylittlemermaid
"Obligatory Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter and helped during 9/11 but he made sure no one knew about it." -- Phil-Michaels
Let's Dial It Down a Notch
"Aggressive morning greetings. Ok hear me out on this. I understand it's 'polite' to greet people when you walk in to the office, but when I have headphones on and you aggressively say good morning over and over, louder and louder, until I have to respond, not cool."
"Just let me be."
-- Ahnamal
Please Hold All Applause Until the Very End
"When people feel the need to bless me with EVERY sneeze. I'll sneeze 5+ times and people will really start to get frustrated with me for having to say bless you too many times."
"Not even God himself can bless me that much!"
Thoughtful vs. Nosy
"I understand the reason and know they do it with the best intentions but ...the prying that some nice people do- learn how to take a hint and drop it." -- Maskholer
"That's kinda messed up, people who pry like that are not nice imo. A nice person would respect boundaries." -- olivermorning
Demanding Masked Emotions
"Harass me to smile. Does it look like my job to be the cheery background character to their life?" -- 3FoolsinaTrenchcoat
"Their premise appears to be that you are obliged to express yourself only in ways they find enjoyable."
"This is not the behavior of one who views another as an equal, IMO." -- JustAPerspective
Passivity Is Not an Asset
"Being spineless. Standing up for yourself and having opinions does not automatically make you a bi*** or a Karen."
"You can very politely disagree with people or ask for a store employee to fix an issue."
-- Altrano
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People Break Down The Nicest Thing Someone Has Ever Done For Them
What was the nicest thing someone ever did for you?
I was a really shy child, and was very self-conscious and unsure about myself. That was until a parent teacher conference. I had been to a few at that point in my elementary school years. Usually, the parent/teacher meetings were straight forward and focused on how bad I was at math. But one year, a teacher also took the time to mention my other strengths, calling me creative, intelligent, and kind. Her taking the time to say such a thing really boosted my self confidence for the long term.
Redditor u/minimalisticbeauty wanted to hear similar stories of kindness, and so asked people... "What was the nicest thing someone has done for you?"
A funeral her mother deserved
My mother died and I was so stressed trying to find a way to give her the funeral she deserved. My boyfriend went down to the funeral home, made the arrangements, and paid the balance. By FAR the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.
Life changing lessons
sad piano GIF by Freddy ArenasGiphyWhen I was about 13, the pastor of our family church heard me practicing Chopin on the piano.
Knowing my parents couldn't afford it, he offered to pay for my music studies (organ, piano, music theory and ear training) so that I'd be prepared to enter music conservatory after high school.
All he asked for in return was that I'd help out with the church's music program when needed (which, in itself, proved to be a wonderful learning experience).
This kind, generous man spent thousands of his own money to help me along the way to a rewarding career in music.
A bright spot in a dark week
I went to a local breakfast spot after a rough night. Totally forgot my wallet so I left my phone as collateral and went to my house.
Came back and some guy had already paid for me. I know it doesn't seem that big of a deal but it was a pretty bleak week for me so it meant a lot.
The bully wasn't all bad
One of my highschool bullies invited me to his house to hangout for a day, I was really nervous it might just be to screw with me, but I was desperate for some sort of friendship so I went over. We're now best friends and he and his family feels like family to me and I have no idea how we ever disliked each other.
A second family was there
When my parents were awful, and my sister was passing away, my friends parents took me in for a while but they did it in a way that seemed like a sleepover (for a few months). I didn't realize until I was an adult how much they stepped up for me.
This paramedic went above and beyond
A paramedic helping me after I was in a car crash took his time to come back to the car and bring me back my front tooth (that was really tiny and he offered to go and look for it in a wreck) and at the same time found and brought back my partner's phone. I don't know his name, I was in such a state of shock I can't even remember how he looked like. But he put my tooth in a special liquid and the hospital team managed to put it back, saving me a lot of money. There was also a policewoman who put a blanket on me and made sure I kept it (the hospital only managed to take it off me right before I left, it was a green standard first aid blanket, I don't know why I refused to let go of it, again, shock, but it provided a lot of comfort).
Thank you so much, guys.
Even if it was for the wrong reasons, it was the right thing
My ex-girlfriend turned me in for stealing opiates. Been clean a little over two years now. May have saved my life.
It was definitely malicious intent but it had the unintended byproduct of forcing me to get my s**t together.
Very special birthday cards
My grandmother made a ton of birthday cards in advance. After she passed away, I still received birthday cards from her for the next few years. It was a little weird, but it was definitely nice to hear words from her after she passed.
The teacher aid stepped up
Growing up I was severely neglected and abused and had no friends due to my lack of hygiene and social skills. One of my teacher aids brought me to her house to play with her daughter, brought me on family trips with them, gave me clean clothes, and just showed me an insane amount of kindness I'll never be able to repay.
Online celebrations
birthday cake GIFGiphyI have an online friend in another country and one time she made a cake for my birthday with my name on it because she knew no one else would do anything
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I'm actually a big fan of Canada...
Before my first visit there, Canada was synonymous with poutine and people using the phrase, "ay". I did see a lot of poutine, and the "ay" thing seemed mostly true. But now, when someone says "Canada", I think of the kindness of the people. As we attempted to navigate the street car and bus system, and father and son noticed our confused faces, and stopped to explain how it works and how to avoid paying extra for transfers. As New Yorkers, that was a culture shock. Also, "the machine" in restaurants is something I still think about, but that's another story.
What comes to your mind when someone mentions Canada? Redditor u/DShillington was curious, and so asked non-Canadians to answer... "What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think 'Canada'?"
20. Canada in the 80s
Back in the day (80s and stuff) we used to go across the St. Clair River/Lake St. Clair to go to Canada.
The thing that sticks out in my mind is the friendliest border guards/coast guard guys in the world. It was like 'hey, so why are you traveling to Canada today?' Oh, we're just gonna go pick some strawberries at that farm...you know the one. 'Oh, cool! Well have a nice time, and don't forget to bring some back for us!'
Once out on the lake, we got 'busted' by Canadians for having open alcohol on the boat. 'You guys know that's against the law over here, right?' (My brother puts his beer out of their line of sight) 'Okay, you guys have a nice day!'"
19. Canadian television
"The Red Green Show. I will always imagine that show portrays the ideal Canadian life."
17. Even Australians know all about Canada
I'm Australian, this is what I think of when I think Canada: Friendliness and politeness, the Canadian flag, maple trees/leaves/syrup, mountains, cold weather, poutine, speaking French, hockey.
16. WWII history
"To me probably heroism and loyalty Canada played a very major role in liberating my country from German occupation in WW2, and every year during the 5th and 6th of May we commemorate your bravery and sacrifice! So yeah, thank you Canada!"
15. Great comedians
"Phil Hartman, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Dan Aykroyd, Will Arnett, Tommy Chong, John Candy... So funny dudes. Yeah, I know, I'm old."
14. All of their Canadian friends
"I have a lot of friends in Canada, so I think of them. :)"
12. Some... darker facts
"The fact that my ancestors were ejected from Canada by the British!
I wish people who could prove Acadian ancestry (Cajuns) could get a track to citizenship there; I fantasized about moving to Montreal as a teen."
10. Taking advantage of the drinking age
"I live about 45 minutes from Canada in Michigan.
Hockey, poutine, and 19 year old drinking age for me."
9. Freaky geese
"the color green for some reason and the leaf thing. Also murderous geese who will someday develop teeth and destroy mankind"
7. Contrasting environments
"First I picture the beautiful flag. The simplicity and elegance which makes for a perfect flag.
Then I picture the map. A huge county covered in unique and interesting nature.
Then I picture the mounties. Dressed in their sophisticated red uniforms, gracefully riding their horses.
Then I picture downtown Vancouver where I saw a hobo taking a piss in his hat."
6. Sneaky shoppers
"I once saw something on Reddit, not sure if it was a post or a comment, but it was someone describing how a Canadian will reach past someone at a grocery store to grab something and they'll pretty much always say this when they do:
'Just gonna SNEAK right past ya there.'
This may not be exactly right but it's still what I think about everytime Canadians are mentioned in any medium."
3. Overwhelming politeness
"Idk why but I start imagining 2 people standing at the door telling each other, 'its okay, you go in first'."
2. Boreal Forests
"The woods! Even though they're not talked about much, Canada's extensive Boreal Forests are super cool to me"
1. The classics
"Maple syrup and the Canadian flag. Honestly that's what I just thought of. But also, I think of trees, airplanes, and Saskatchewan."
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