Redditor Human02211979 wanted men to share about the things they're over women saying, so they asked:
"What's a phrase men hate hearing from women?"
I don't dabble with the ladies.
I feel like I'm about to be glad about that.
Thoughts?
season 6 episode 24 GIFGiphy“'Do you know why I pulled you over?'”
WHEENC
"It depends on how long you were following me."
ersomething
Just Pick!
"The food thing."
"'I'm not hungry or you pick... but not there not there not there not there or there.'"
"It's one of the most widely joked about relationship tropes... but it has to be one of the truest. I watched two married friends this weekend almost lose it over this lol."
HotelRwandaBeef
"Frustrating for anyone in a relationship whose partner does this. I'm a woman and my male fiancée can't make a decision about food to save his life, almost literally. If you put him in a room with his 2 favorite foods and told him he can't eat until he chooses one, he would starve to death. It makes me freaking crazy."
forestfairygremlin
Not Good Enough
“'They couldn’t handle me.'”
"Relationships are about building each other up, not constantly having to deal with the other person’s attitude or poor behavior/mental health. This is not as much of a flex as a lot of people think it is and raises major red flags for me."
OreoKing10
"Dude this is so true, God *amn its true. These type of girls who say that are ONLY trouble and have no insight to why they act like they do. Its mental."
TheZwoop
“nothing”
"'How can you not think anything, you must be hiding something.'"
SuvenPan
"I mean sometimes it’s nothing but most of the time 'nothing' is just a random situation that makes no sense that I’m thinking of in my mind. I don’t know why I’m trying to think which animal would be the best drift racer and I don’t know where to start explaining the thought process behind it or how I even got there."
ThePowerPoint
Say Nothing
quiet tim and eric GIFGiphy"'Do you like my friend?' Because it always ends up in an argument either way."
nothinglasts21
Oh that is a dangerous setup.
It's a Trap
the office no GIFGiphy"'Tell me what you are thinking. Do I look fat? Be honest.'"
illini02“
"'As a modern woman, you do not need a man to validate your self-image. Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself whether or not you look fat.'"
Jedi_Master_Baggins
Start Over
"Are you even listening to me, and I think to myself what a weird way to start a conversation."
bigfish3636
"I sometimes forget that whenever my boyfriend is doing something like reading the paper, I have to get his attention BEFORE I start talking. Often ends in me talking for a minute before noticing an all too familiar blank stare on his face which prompts the question 'did you get any of that?' and then he repeats the last three words in an unsure cadence. Then I start from the beginning, lol."
shadythrowaway9
Nonsense
“'How are you still single, you’re a great guy?' Hear it a bunch from some women friends of mine. I always just brush it off but kinda stings a bit more each time."
AverageJames
"I lived in a big house with lots of roommates. We had this big vent one night. We were going to go bar hopping but all the girls vented about how often they were bothered and hit on at bars. How they needed to go in groups to feel safe. And they never could go to just have fun with each other."
"2 weeks later I mentioned how frustrating dating can be at group dinner. There was a communal laugh about how easy it was. 'Literally just go to any bar.'"
DigNitty
Not my Owner
"Thankfully my current girlfriend doesn’t do this but don’t ever say you 'trained' your boyfriend or even friend to do something. Friendships and relationships are a great way to have a different perspective and take things on in different ways. To say you trained your friend or boyfriend is incredibly dehumanizing and makes you seem incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. Plus, you didn’t 'train' your boyfriend to use conditioner, you just made him realize that even though he doesn’t think it’s significant in his value system, it isn’t worth the fact you keep bugging him about it."
DuncanRobinson4MVP
Oh Lord
Come On Man GIF by IdentityGiphy"'I was thinking...'"
"Whenever my wife says that means I'm gonna be doing something that I don't want to."
Revolutionary-Rip-40
"And it's always 'I was thinking we should...' There's no WE here, just come out and tell me what I will be doing."
BusterOfBuyMoria
Know your warning signs gents...
Anything else anyone would like to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor ChadBrowGer wanted to hear from all the gents out there and asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the hardest thing to explain to women?"
PICK ONE!
Meet Up Season 7 GIF by One ChicagoGiphy"It's ok to just tell me where you want to eat."
I just live...
"When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just don't remember. I usually don't remember what I do, I just live."
RoastyMyToasty99
"Work gets put into a box as soon as I clock out, I then spend then time it takes to get home to flush my mind of it all so I am not angry or stressed about my day."
"I don't want to think about work until I clock back in the next morning. My day was the same and something funny or interesting may have happened but I am not opening that box when I'm sitting at home staring into the neighbors trees blowing in the wind."
theflyingkiwi00
Calm Down
"I'm seriously not checking you out every time you walk by in the office. I turn my head for damn near everything that enters my periphery, you're really not that special."
Iniquox
"This makes me so freaking self-conscious in the gym. Everytime someone walks past I look, especially in the mirrors and I always catch the eye of a girl probably thinking I'm checking her out. I really don't wanna be seen as that creepy guy making girls at the gym uncomfortable. It's literally the last thing I'm thinking about."
jimmyjinx
Codeless
"When we say we need time or space, that’s exactly what we need. It’s not code for 'you need to try harder.'"
LeaveForNoRaisin
"Had an ex who would keep pushing me to talk when I got angry about something. I just wanted some time to cool off before having a discussion about it."
"One of the reasons she's an ex. My wife now is fantastic, we understand each other and when it's best to just shut up and let things settle. More often than not we realise the reason for getting grumpy in the first place is trivial and we get over it."
cyborg_127
Hands Up
Yep Reaction GIF by C H A R L Ö T T EGiphy"The specifics of nod code. It’s easy to say 'up if you know them; down if you don’t' but the exact meaning of the downward nod is hard to translate. It’s seeing them, acknowledging them, and saying that neither of us have any issue with each other."
SmartAlec105
"Raise your hand if you just nodded by yourself several times."
gravyjives
A simple nod speaks volumes.
Who Knows?
Who Knows Idk GIFGiphy"Why I don't know what the heck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day."
Apollo1255
You First
"I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep."
NKoreaisbestKorea
"It doesn’t necessarily make me feel like a creep, but it makes me think the girl doesn’t actually want sex most of the time."
"When a girl does ask for sex or initiates it in her own way, it makes it so much more fun for me and takes out a lot of the anxiety and stress that sometimes surrounds sex in a relationship because it really does feel like a two sided give and receive situation."
Gulliath
Conflict Resolution
"Sometimes (this is me personally so I can't say it's common) the struggle not to share emotions isn't as much the worry of backlash from society or friends, etc. It's more just a conflict within ourselves to verbalize and come out with it. I trust my friends with respecting how I feel, I just can't get it out because I'm fighting myself."
FoxxyPantz
Love Me Tender
"Sometimes I’m just horny, but (in a committed relationship) sometimes I look at you and I’m just so in love that I want to be as close and intimate with you as I can, which is sex. My ex and I had different love languages, and she would worry that I don’t love her as much as she loves me which was just crazy because I was head over heels for her at all times. Trying to explain that that really close, lovey sex was one of the ways I showed her exactly how deeply I was in love with her, but she didn’t get it."
No More to Tell
Talking Blah Blah Blah GIF by Wiz KhalifaGiphy"Very often, we say something at its face value with no double meaning, or alternative meaning, behind it. It's women who ask me, 'What did you mean when you asked/said that?'"
"I said/asked exactly what I meant. If wanted to state it differently, I would have done so."
Well, that all sounds easy enough. A little clarification can go a long way.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
I'll go first.
Ladies. Why do you hate heels? Maybe you're not practicing enough.
Now y'all...
Leakage
I Get It Wow GIF by Awkward Daytime TVGiphy"I always assumed periods were a constant stream of blood (like a cut, as another Redditor put it). Apparently this is wrong, so how does it work? Small gushes?"
billionai1
"Very very very slow leaks… slow on day one, a little heavy on the second and third day, slow to none for the next couple days… varies from person to person."
inmyelement
Roll It
"Do you really like it when men roll up their sleeves?"
Bigbird_Elephant
"Yes. Can't really tell you why. Something about the forearms. It's important to note that it's a phenomenon specific to having long sleeves that are rolled up; a shirt with three quarter sleeves does not produce the same effect. (I think it might be linked to giving the appearance that you're ready to knuckle down and work even though you aren't dressed for it. Idk.)"
LJGHunter
Let's Chat...
"What‘s the most neutral and comfortable to start a conversation (maybe at a bar), without being too shy or too aggressive/rude?"
firebullmonkey
"For me commenting on what’s going on around us. If you’ve tried the cocktails before and want to share opinions, if there’s a game on and I’m looking up at the tv, if there’s a couple on a first date nearby, whatever. The really important thing is to get a good read on if the response is polite vs engaged. If I give you a “yeah” with nothing else stop trying lol even if I smiled or whatever."
General_Organa
Basics...
"Other than the obvious (lying, cheating, rude to you or your friends)what’s the quickest way for your S.O, or someone you’re interested in, to lose your respect?"
DanMittaul
"Lack of general manners or hygiene. Please/thank you/excuse me are important. Regularly bathing, washing your hands, trimming your nails, tidy clothes, etc are important. If you don't invest time and care into these basic things, how am I to know that you will invest time and care into our relationship?"
holy__granola
Smooth...
the silence of the lambs hannibal GIFGiphy"How do many of you have such nice skin? I want to be silky smooth too."
I_ate_your_skin
"Your username makes this question… concerning."
Doom_Toon
How do you get skin that soft? I've tried the lotions. Not working.
With a Cracker
String Cheese Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Does offering cheese really work?"
Shardnic
papayaseth
The Wife Way
"If you have a wife, there is no question too embarrassing to ask."
high_dosage_of_life
"Before wife-liness, I was a nurse. We got rid of embarrassing questions right off the bat when we were discussing 'experience.' He had none in the physical relationship department, and neither did I, however, I did have to admit that I had probably seen and handled more penises than he ever had... and come to think of it, more vaginas as well, lol."
DishyPanHands
Stay Together
"What’s the deal with peeing together?"
beetus_gerulaitis
"Safety in numbers. Also we like to reapply make up or have a little gossip by ourselves, sometimes it just nice to go with someone else and continue whatever conversation you were previously having."
DI93
Be Free
"If bras give support then why does it feel good when you take them off? Would it feel good to never wear a bra?"
TinyThrowy
"Have you ever worn really tight jeans? They hold everything in place but the firm contact all day gets a bit much. Not wearing a bra if you have larger breasts can be pretty uncomfortable."
"It hurts your back (bras help a little by holding everything in centre so your gravity isn’t too funky), your breast hurt if you move too much, you get sweat under your boobs where they touch your skin. Not fun for everyone. Also it can be uncomfortable when your nipples rub against your clothes from excess movement."
Extension_Drummer_85
Listen
couple hug GIFGiphy"When you are really upset, how would you like your partner to respond or comfort you?"
Think8437
"Be empathetic, hold her (if she's comfortable with that), listen, and ask if she wants your advice. If she doesn't, just be a good listener and don't make her feel like she's to blame or that her feelings aren't valid."
MelanisticCrow
Postures
"How do you do the math and physics for when you pee outside? Some of my female friends took postures straight out of a yoga book and never made a mess."
LeMiaow51
"Sometimes I lean back on a rock or stump (almost in a 'crab walk' position) so that I am aimed at the ground and not my feet/pants."
BreWanKenobi
Playtime
"Do women play with their own breasts out it boredom? Like randomly squeeze them."
Regera80
"I do and it actually helped me! I was just laying in bed one day, playing with my boobs and I noticed a lump. Eventually went to the doctor and they were like, 'oh, were you doing a self exam when you found it?' And I had to be like, 'well, no…'"
"I ended up getting a biopsy and it was a fibroadenoma (benign common tumor in younger women) but I basically had to skirt around the fact that I found the lump from feeling my boobs in bed. No one ever asked directly, I just avoided being specific when they asked how I found it."
Apozerycki1
Hairy Situations
"How do you shampoo long hair? I've always had short hair, so lather and rinse is pretty easy, but with long hair I feel like it would get complicated quickly."
TheMathNut
"With shampoo you basically get used to massaging it directly on your scalp and the rest of your hair kinda rinses out along with any dirt as you wash away the shampoo. You focus on your scalp because that's where things get greasy and you don't want the bottoms of your hair to get too dry. This is why you also focus the conditioner towards the ends of your hair."
COVID_KISSES
Obsession...
"What is the obsession with murder? The whole serial killer book/podcast industry seems largely female oriented. Ironically many females I know who love this stuff also hate fake violence in fictional movies?"
Yngstr
"I’m taking notes so I don’t make the mistakes they made that got them caught."
"Honestly though, it’s a combination of the psychological aspect (why did they do it, what was going on in their head, what made them the way they are) and the forensic/investigation side of things. I also know some women who watch them in part to learn in some way how not to be the victim of crimes likes those featured."
Glowingrose
In the Books
"In a book/piece of writing, what do you think is the best way to describe a woman in a sexual context without being too crude or cliche or getting into the whole 'she breasted boobily down the stairs' thing?
"I'm a writer but I would feel WAY too awkward asking any of my girl friends this 💀 writing women characters isn't hard for me per se, you just give them goals, development and make them add to the story like anybody else. But I'm always second guessing myself when it comes to writing stuff in an intimate context."
AV8ORboi
'hot guy'
"Have heard what not to do on a date mostly but what are the top things a guy can do on a date? Without coming off as awkward or weird?"
UnKoNoWnDuDe
"Your looks will count for a little more in the beginning because I don't know you very well. But if you come across as decent, charming and confident, looks start to fade into the background."
"My husband is never going to win any 'hot guy' awards. He's a bit overweight, going grey, wears glasses and has more hair on his back than on his head. But I immediately fell in love with his personality; he's everything I've ever wanted in a man on the inside, so I honestly don't care what the outside looks like."
LJGHunter
Give it a try!
"How do you all make those little towel hats when you get out of the shower?"
mw407
"Imagine you have your towel across your back, both ends in each hand, flip you hair forward so you're bent over roughly 90°, being the towel forward so it's completely draped over your head until the edge of the towel that was touching your thighs, is now at the base of your hairline on the back of your neck, the towel is now draped over your head, grab the drape and twist it a few times, then toss it back. Give it a try! You don't even need hair to do it!"
78Carnage
Prepared
Giphy"Does it appear weird that I have pads and stuff ready, even though I don't need any? My mother once said that would be very nice when I have people over and periods just happens. I agreed to that thought, so I have some in the bathroom."
FanStrong3311
A Leg Up
"As far as I can tell, leggings are one of the most universal/flexible pieces of clothing a woman can wear and still remain as casual as jeans, but as comfy as pjs. YET you always manage to look hella good regardless of what top you pair with leggings. What the f**k do you wear with leggings/how do you always seem to pair it correctly? (Correctly being it never looks like something you wouldn’t pair with it)."
Honorzeal
Listening, empathy and cheese. It's always more simple than we make it.
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If You're Nasty.
GiphyHow often we are called a nasty name for turning down someone's advances. 5nitch
Futon Creep.
My boyfriend and I went to pick up a futon we had bought from a yard sale site, we went to the guys house. It was dark at the time because it was the only time that worked for us all. When we got out of the car to go inside I made a quick scan of my surroundings and made a note that there was a shovel leaned up against the house, and there were bricks in a little garden area.
The man we were getting it from made a joke about being trusting to come at night and it TERRIFIED me, and I was thinking "okay I know where there are items I can use to defend myself at least, if something happens." The whole time they were carrying the futon out I made sure to not take my eyes off the man. Things ended up fine, but I told my boyfriend about it in the car and he was so shocked and said he never even had the slightest feeling of danger or distrust. lander_nedla
Walking Around.
Yeap. I took a creative writing class in college where I guy wrote a poem about how racist it is for women to be afraid of walking next to him on the street at night (he was Latino) and while yeah I'm sure some people are doing it because of his race, I always thought he was missing the bigger picture of all unknown men are a potential threat to women. You best believe I never walk alone next to a man I don't know. kickingboys
Wasted Energy.
The non-stop mental energy we devote to maintaining our safety. In public, at work, in every interaction we have with a man we don't know well (and sadly sometimes also with men we do know well), in our homes, in our cars, on the internet... it doesn't ever stop. I'm not saying I live my life in fear. It's so ingrained that I wouldn't even personally call it a burden but it's certainly additional mental red tape. Every single decision or circumstance needs to be evaluate, often instantaneously. whitezhang
The Climax!
GiphyJust because penetration is enough to get you off doesn't mean it's enough to get us off. Least-Gap
YES! Even my poor husband, bless him, still has trouble understanding this! Like if we do certain positions that don't do anything for my clit, he doesn't get that I'm not going to climax from just that.
He's very sweet and does always make sure I finish before he does - he just gets confused when a position isn't doing it for me lol. thhungryduckling
"Women are like this. Women like that..."
We are not all the same. We have different opinions and taste. I met a lot of Men over the years that think that we are all kind of similar. "Women are like this. Women like that..." No. For example, some Women like shopping, other don't.
If we tried to know each others as persons, things would be a lot better. sonia72quebec
"prove them wrong"
How people tend to automatically question what you say, or address it as though you're unsure or you're asking them. Guys tend to have their words accepted, or only questioned after the fact.
How people tend to automatically undermine or dismiss your authority, regardless of your position.
You sometimes have to escalate a situation that should be minor or not an issue at all. You also have your ability questioned or assumed as substandard until you "prove them wrong."
How your accomplishments will be questioned or undermined. You finally get the opportunity to try and succeed? The standards were lowered. You slept with your grader. You cheated. It wasn't really that difficult, and so on. DC_MEDO_still_lost
BOOBS.
Having big boobs sucks. Okay yeah they're squishy sure and you can bury your face in them because for whatever reason you enjoy doing that but from my personal experience... they are a damned nuisance. Starting from when I was a kid, boys used to try to throw shit down my shirts, it became such a big problem that the principal got involved and that was humiliating. Then in high school my best friend and I were called "the DD twins" that was damn annoying.
Then also in high school I went to get my nails done at some nail salon and the two lady owners wouldn't stop grabbing them, they also didn't speak English well so idk wtf they were doing?!? Again in high school I was top student and won an award. My parents showed up to watch me walk across the stage to accept it and last minute the principal told me I couldn't go get my award because of my outfit. Meanwhile other girls were wearing spaghetti straps. My mom confronted the principal and he admitted it was because the shirt made my boobs look too big.
Wtf!! Also, I have to wear two sports bras to do any exercise. After two kids that were near suffocated while breastfeeding, my boobs now practically touch my knees. I can't ever find clothing that fits over my boobs and isn't a tent everywhere else. The hurt after I take my bra off. If I lay on my back they touch my chin and that's an awful feeling. The list could go on forever. Seriously, they suck. NoSpring4
Commonalities.
GiphyThat women's general motivations in life are not significantly different from men's, and that women are no more of a monolith of motivational drives than men are.
Basically, we're just like you in the brain. With all the complexity that involves. RedshiftSinger
Are You Sure?
Men don't understand what it's like to have people always discourage you from big career goals/undertakings. I am applying to medical school and I can't tell you how many people try to discourage me because "when will you have kids?".... btw, not even sure I want kids at all. It sucks, feels like people think your only value is in being a homemaker
And even if they don't give motherhood as a reason to discourage me, I still get met with ".... wow! Really? You want to be a doctor? That's a big undertaking/very competitive... are you sure?" And I can't help but wonder if a man would get those same responses on the regular
*EDIT: I know medical school is indeed a big undertaking/very competitive and that a lot of males probably get discouraged too. miss_appa
Pills.
GiphyThe pill isn't just to prevent pregnancy. It makes your periods more manageable. Some of us bleed heavily enough to be anemic without it. rapidecroche
Padded....
Pads don't literally attach to your vagina. Christmaspoptart
Just asked my husband where he thinks pads go and he confidently said the wings stick to your thighs. They really have no clue, god forbid he'd have to teach our future daughter these things. EdgarAlansHoe
"ok, got it"
We cannot hold in menses. A menstruating vagina is like an open wound, it just bleeds sporadically when it wants to.
I wish we could just hold it and expel it in one go, that'd be awesome! greffedufois
Is this an American thing I'm too Asian to get? Every male that I've interacted with about periods have been more like "ok, got it". I've even had male colleagues give me pain killers (even tea) when I tell them I have cramps. KoishiChan92
No Fear.
It's not necessarily personal when we're wary or afraid of you-it's the men before you that have shown that we need to be careful. When you're at a physical disadvantage that fear heightens no matter the intentions of the other party. zoeyjax
Don't Follow.
GiphyBeing followed in a car. In my college years I had someone follow me on side streets (my car couldn't handle the freeway so I took a long route home) for almost 20 miles. Instead of going home, I parked in the police station down the street from my house and the guy following me drove away. One of the scariest nights of my life. othybear
Leave Me Alone!
Period cramps and how painful they can be.
Some days I'm literally writhing on the couch from the pain and not even ibuprofin or ice can help. It can last hours and it feels like someone is constantly chewing my uterus with sharp fangs. If I say I'm staying home from work/school for period cramps, I'm not being a wimp. I cannot even think through the pain. It's not every period that I get them that bad but when I do, hooo boy. frostbirb
BOOM!!
The real landmine that is responding to DMs. If I ignore you, I'm a b!tch. If I'm friendly, I'm leading you on. If I tell you I'm married right off the bat, I'm conceited for assuming that you were trying to flirt with me (even if you very clearly were). PixelLaurs
the size of it....
That the threat of being physically overpowered feels very real. Not just in the context of being assaulted, but in general. The lingering feeling that if this dude really wanted to he could kill me with his bare hands. I guess this could be gender nonspecific, but being generally on edge and female doesn't help with the "sizing people up in case they try to lunge a me or something" issue. Just being smaller than anyone sort of puts me on edge, and I've heard from other women they have similar thoughts. hellhoundMcdogpound33
Tech No Support.
The fact that I have to often prove to my male coworkers and customers that I, shockingly, do in fact know what I'm talking about at work. Never mind the fact that I have a degree. It's usually customers, but when they expect a man, they will question everything you try to do to resolve their problem. Sorry boss, I'm not a slow worker, it just takes 2x as long to get the customer to trust me (tech support). Canadian_Toast
Got a Pen?
Giphy- How scary it is every time you go out at night alone, whether it's walking to your car or getting gas
- How expensive bras are. The first bra I've ever had thats been fully supportive was $105. My others, that don't do stuff, are $30-60
- What's with the luxury tax on tampons and pads? How are those luxuries? How are those considered luxuries, but condoms aren't? People aren't gonna stop having sex, but there is no easy way at all out of your period (plus the ruined clothes and sheets)
- Oh and I can't forget about my chronic back pain from 10% of my body weight being on my chest. moistmemes024
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