Gentlemen.... are you comfortable? If not please do find a seat. The ladies have a few things to say. There are some lessons that need to be distributed to the masses. Women have a few things to say about their thoughts, wants and desires and it's time to listen. Get a notepad or pull out your phone to record. You'll be a better man for it guys. And boys and men of all ages can learn something.
Redditor u/anotherphilosophygal wanted all boys to listen up and take some notes cause some tea is about to be served by asking.... Women of Reddit, what's something important you think men really don't understand about being a woman?If You're Nasty.
GiphyHow often we are called a nasty name for turning down someone's advances. 5nitch
Futon Creep.
My boyfriend and I went to pick up a futon we had bought from a yard sale site, we went to the guys house. It was dark at the time because it was the only time that worked for us all. When we got out of the car to go inside I made a quick scan of my surroundings and made a note that there was a shovel leaned up against the house, and there were bricks in a little garden area.
The man we were getting it from made a joke about being trusting to come at night and it TERRIFIED me, and I was thinking "okay I know where there are items I can use to defend myself at least, if something happens." The whole time they were carrying the futon out I made sure to not take my eyes off the man. Things ended up fine, but I told my boyfriend about it in the car and he was so shocked and said he never even had the slightest feeling of danger or distrust. lander_nedla
Walking Around.
Yeap. I took a creative writing class in college where I guy wrote a poem about how racist it is for women to be afraid of walking next to him on the street at night (he was Latino) and while yeah I'm sure some people are doing it because of his race, I always thought he was missing the bigger picture of all unknown men are a potential threat to women. You best believe I never walk alone next to a man I don't know. kickingboys
Wasted Energy.
The non-stop mental energy we devote to maintaining our safety. In public, at work, in every interaction we have with a man we don't know well (and sadly sometimes also with men we do know well), in our homes, in our cars, on the internet... it doesn't ever stop. I'm not saying I live my life in fear. It's so ingrained that I wouldn't even personally call it a burden but it's certainly additional mental red tape. Every single decision or circumstance needs to be evaluate, often instantaneously. whitezhang
The Climax!
GiphyJust because penetration is enough to get you off doesn't mean it's enough to get us off. Least-Gap
YES! Even my poor husband, bless him, still has trouble understanding this! Like if we do certain positions that don't do anything for my clit, he doesn't get that I'm not going to climax from just that.
He's very sweet and does always make sure I finish before he does - he just gets confused when a position isn't doing it for me lol. thhungryduckling
"Women are like this. Women like that..."
We are not all the same. We have different opinions and taste. I met a lot of Men over the years that think that we are all kind of similar. "Women are like this. Women like that..." No. For example, some Women like shopping, other don't.
If we tried to know each others as persons, things would be a lot better. sonia72quebec
"prove them wrong"
How people tend to automatically question what you say, or address it as though you're unsure or you're asking them. Guys tend to have their words accepted, or only questioned after the fact.
How people tend to automatically undermine or dismiss your authority, regardless of your position.
You sometimes have to escalate a situation that should be minor or not an issue at all. You also have your ability questioned or assumed as substandard until you "prove them wrong."
How your accomplishments will be questioned or undermined. You finally get the opportunity to try and succeed? The standards were lowered. You slept with your grader. You cheated. It wasn't really that difficult, and so on. DC_MEDO_still_lost
BOOBS.
Having big boobs sucks. Okay yeah they're squishy sure and you can bury your face in them because for whatever reason you enjoy doing that but from my personal experience... they are a damned nuisance. Starting from when I was a kid, boys used to try to throw shit down my shirts, it became such a big problem that the principal got involved and that was humiliating. Then in high school my best friend and I were called "the DD twins" that was damn annoying.
Then also in high school I went to get my nails done at some nail salon and the two lady owners wouldn't stop grabbing them, they also didn't speak English well so idk wtf they were doing?!? Again in high school I was top student and won an award. My parents showed up to watch me walk across the stage to accept it and last minute the principal told me I couldn't go get my award because of my outfit. Meanwhile other girls were wearing spaghetti straps. My mom confronted the principal and he admitted it was because the shirt made my boobs look too big.
Wtf!! Also, I have to wear two sports bras to do any exercise. After two kids that were near suffocated while breastfeeding, my boobs now practically touch my knees. I can't ever find clothing that fits over my boobs and isn't a tent everywhere else. The hurt after I take my bra off. If I lay on my back they touch my chin and that's an awful feeling. The list could go on forever. Seriously, they suck. NoSpring4
Commonalities.
GiphyThat women's general motivations in life are not significantly different from men's, and that women are no more of a monolith of motivational drives than men are.
Basically, we're just like you in the brain. With all the complexity that involves. RedshiftSinger
Are You Sure?
Men don't understand what it's like to have people always discourage you from big career goals/undertakings. I am applying to medical school and I can't tell you how many people try to discourage me because "when will you have kids?".... btw, not even sure I want kids at all. It sucks, feels like people think your only value is in being a homemaker
And even if they don't give motherhood as a reason to discourage me, I still get met with ".... wow! Really? You want to be a doctor? That's a big undertaking/very competitive... are you sure?" And I can't help but wonder if a man would get those same responses on the regular
*EDIT: I know medical school is indeed a big undertaking/very competitive and that a lot of males probably get discouraged too. miss_appa
Pills.
GiphyThe pill isn't just to prevent pregnancy. It makes your periods more manageable. Some of us bleed heavily enough to be anemic without it. rapidecroche
Padded....
Pads don't literally attach to your vagina. Christmaspoptart
Just asked my husband where he thinks pads go and he confidently said the wings stick to your thighs. They really have no clue, god forbid he'd have to teach our future daughter these things. EdgarAlansHoe
"ok, got it"
We cannot hold in menses. A menstruating vagina is like an open wound, it just bleeds sporadically when it wants to.
I wish we could just hold it and expel it in one go, that'd be awesome! greffedufois
Is this an American thing I'm too Asian to get? Every male that I've interacted with about periods have been more like "ok, got it". I've even had male colleagues give me pain killers (even tea) when I tell them I have cramps. KoishiChan92
No Fear.
It's not necessarily personal when we're wary or afraid of you-it's the men before you that have shown that we need to be careful. When you're at a physical disadvantage that fear heightens no matter the intentions of the other party. zoeyjax
Don't Follow.
GiphyBeing followed in a car. In my college years I had someone follow me on side streets (my car couldn't handle the freeway so I took a long route home) for almost 20 miles. Instead of going home, I parked in the police station down the street from my house and the guy following me drove away. One of the scariest nights of my life. othybear
Leave Me Alone!
Period cramps and how painful they can be.
Some days I'm literally writhing on the couch from the pain and not even ibuprofin or ice can help. It can last hours and it feels like someone is constantly chewing my uterus with sharp fangs. If I say I'm staying home from work/school for period cramps, I'm not being a wimp. I cannot even think through the pain. It's not every period that I get them that bad but when I do, hooo boy. frostbirb
BOOM!!
The real landmine that is responding to DMs. If I ignore you, I'm a b!tch. If I'm friendly, I'm leading you on. If I tell you I'm married right off the bat, I'm conceited for assuming that you were trying to flirt with me (even if you very clearly were). PixelLaurs
the size of it....
That the threat of being physically overpowered feels very real. Not just in the context of being assaulted, but in general. The lingering feeling that if this dude really wanted to he could kill me with his bare hands. I guess this could be gender nonspecific, but being generally on edge and female doesn't help with the "sizing people up in case they try to lunge a me or something" issue. Just being smaller than anyone sort of puts me on edge, and I've heard from other women they have similar thoughts. hellhoundMcdogpound33
Tech No Support.
The fact that I have to often prove to my male coworkers and customers that I, shockingly, do in fact know what I'm talking about at work. Never mind the fact that I have a degree. It's usually customers, but when they expect a man, they will question everything you try to do to resolve their problem. Sorry boss, I'm not a slow worker, it just takes 2x as long to get the customer to trust me (tech support). Canadian_Toast
Got a Pen?
Giphy- How scary it is every time you go out at night alone, whether it's walking to your car or getting gas
- How expensive bras are. The first bra I've ever had thats been fully supportive was $105. My others, that don't do stuff, are $30-60
- What's with the luxury tax on tampons and pads? How are those luxuries? How are those considered luxuries, but condoms aren't? People aren't gonna stop having sex, but there is no easy way at all out of your period (plus the ruined clothes and sheets)
- Oh and I can't forget about my chronic back pain from 10% of my body weight being on my chest. moistmemes024
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- Women Explain Which Things They Just Don't Understand About Men - George Takei ›
- Women Explain Which Things They Just Don't Understand About Men - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.