Even in this supposedly progressive modern age, far too many men feel self-conscious about the natural act of crying.
Feeling that it's not a manly thing to do, even though many would argue that it takes a real man not to be afraid to tear up publicly.
Of course, even the most unabashedly masculine men don't have complete control over their emotions and find their eyes watering unexpectedly every now and then.
Sometimes giving in to grief, sometimes overcome with joy, and sometimes simply owing to a corny commercial for coffee.
Sometimes this happens when nobody's around. Other men aren't so lucky.
"Men of Reddit, when did you last cry and why?"
Genuine Fear For Their Family
"Crying in my car right now."
"My wife has cancer."
"It scares me to death."
"I have to be brave at home."
"My car has become my place to escape to cry and release my fear and sorrow."- shmozzfinish
"At the hospital with my 2-year-old daughter."
"She just had a seizure in the waiting room."
"I felt so lost and useless."
"But it cut the wait time down to seconds!"- garsk05
Grief
"Few weeks ago."
"Friend died."
"Cried myself to sleep for a few nights."- PizzaPoopF**k
Funerals
"3 years ago."
"In my fathers funeral."- JOVA1982
Pets Passing
"January 4th."
"On January 1st, I got a message from my dad that the family dog had a stroke and passed away in the front yard."
"During the time before I stood at his grave just before I left to head back to my home, I just didn’t cry. I was questioning why I wasn’t."
"Then, standing at his grave, just a rush of emotions came in and just sobbed my heart out, then got in the car with my girlfriend and had to drive home."
"His name was Snitchel, and he was a good 14-year-old pupper."
"I’m 21, so he was a part of my life for about 70% of it."
"Was hard to say goodbye, especially because I wasn’t able to see him on Christmas because I got Covid, and I didn’t get to see him open his Christmas gifts like he usually does, during Christmas and in general during his final days."- ASexyCow0090
Spousal Loss
"My wife died."- Pitbull60usa
It's Been So Long, They Wish It Would Happen.
"I don't remember."
"I feel so sad and lonely sometimes but I still can't cry."
"I wish I could cry like a kid again."- spootex
Too Much All At Once
"About 2 yeats ago, was dealing with a lot of work an personal sh*t."
"Was at my limit of sh*t I can handle."
"I get a phone call that a childhood friend that I've known since we were 4 died in a car accident."- Mechanic_Me_Harder
"A few days ago."
"Broke down due to stress over everyday things."- einarn
Caught By Surprise
"Last night, just thinking about my mum."- TheH1dden1
Songs
"Last night, I heard 'Follow You To Virgie' by Tyler Childers for the first time, and memories of my mom hit me like a freight train."
"She’s been gone for 28 years now but when you least expect it the waterworks can come out of nowhere."
"Felt good if I’m honest."- GhostRN
Along With Many Others, No Doubt
"The Last of Us episode 3."- brucek951
A Broken Heart
"Tonight."
"My best friend told me that I don't make her happy, and that she doesn't want me in her life anymore."
"I'm in love with her."- helenemayer
Unbridled Joy
"Last night sent my girlfriend the basic Good night message."
"She replied back with 'I love you'."
"Sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me."- raskoe47
Post Traumatic Stress
"Two weeks ago."
"When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me."
"I quit a few days later and I start my new job on the 27th."- Karnezar
While Peter Allen may have encouraged us not to "cry out loud," to "keep it inside" and "learn how to hide [our] feelings," sometimes letting out a good cry proves to be just the therapy we need.
For what it's worth when Liza Minelli (coincidentally or not, Allen's ex-wife) covered the song, she altered it to exactly the opposite message.
When in doubt, go with Liza.
When I saw E.T. in theaters, I could not hold it together.
I bawled with Elliott when he thought his best friend was dead. But when I recovered from that scene after learning E.T. was very much alive, I was hit with another emotional gut punch duing the goodbye scene.
Although none of the major characters perished in that masterpiece of a movie by Steven Spielberg, I couldn't believe how I was so emotionally attached to a fictional character, and to an alien at that.
Whether they are characters from books, film, or TV, the death of a major character can scar us for life.
Curious to hear from strangers on the internet, Redditor Strawberry_Bunnyyy asked:
"Which fictional character's death made you cry the most?"
Animation
"It's just a cartoon," you say. Until you find yourself reaching for that box of tissues while watching said cartoon.
Remember Me
"Mama Coco in Coco. I'm 31 and I tear up uncontrollably when her grandson runs up to her and starts singing 'Remember Me' just so she doesn't forget her father."
Wartime Tragedy
"The two siblings from Grave of the Fireflies."
"I watched a lot of the studio ghibli movies with my ex wife when we were together. We thought it was going to be another cute animated story like the rest. Oh how wrong we were. Cried so hard. The best movie ive ever seen that i will never watch again."
Damnit, Pixar!
"Ellie in 'Up.'"
"That moment made me cry way more."
"Her death was haunting at first for me. I thought it was unfair. So much sacrificed just to die before getting to live that one adventure. It made me question the whole idea of living & dying."
"Then the reveal...she lived so many adventures with Carl and that was all she really wanted from her life. She doesn't regret she didn't have that one adventure because her life with Carl was the greatest adventure of all. She didn't die without closure. She lived the life she always wanted and wouldn't change a second of it....now she wants Carl to move forward to his next adventure. That was beautiful."
– TimeX13
Literary Deaths
Reading about a major character's death in books is sometimes more of a visceral experience than watching any movie.
Lord Of The Rings
"Not really cry but Theoden's death in the Return of the King film gets me emotional. The dialogue between him and Eowyn is really powerful and the scene is acted out perfectly."
"I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company, I shall not now be ashamed."
"Nothing greater than complete redemption."
Going Out With A Whimper
"Those f'king dogs from Where the Red Fern Grows."
"it's been over twenty years and i'm still scarred"
A Steinbeck Classic
"And I can ten' the rabbits—"
"I've taught this book every year for almost 20 and I can still barely hold it together when we get to this bit."
When Mom's Die
Enough said. Don't get me started.
Land Before Time
"Littlefoot's mom. I'm now at an age where I can imagine my mom dying. Back when I was a kid it didn't affect me because it was unimaginable."
"I'm in my 30s and still can't watch it without crying like a baby. My daughter wanted to watch it recently and I was a total mess."
A Slayer's Mother
"buffys mom"
"Mommy?"
"Killed me. I thought of my own mom and lost it."
TV Show Deaths
Even deaths happening on the small screen gets us every time.
Whatever Happened To Ben Sullivan?
"Brendan Fraser's Character in Scrubs."
"The whole episodes builds up like everything is fine and then J.D drops the 'where do you think we are?.'"
"Gets me everytime..
– IAmPont
Goodbye, Hank
"Hank in Breaking Bad. Was completely expecting something to pop up at the last minute that allowed him to gtfo."
When A Father Dies
"Marshall's dad in HIMYM. His passing brings memories of my dad passing, who was way too young as well, and missed out meeting grandchildren and great grandchildren. I miss him every day and the 10 year anniversary of his passing is coming soon."
– rubalki
The emotional connection we have with fictional characters is a testament to the writer's talent and imagination.
We follow these fictional heroes' journeys, forcing us to become invested in their hopes and dreams. And when their lives are inevitably taken from us, we feel the loss and grieve as if they were real people.
And then we curse the writer for having the audacity to rip our make-believe friends from us.
How very dare they.
Death is a sad and unfortunate part of life, and it is inescapable. Also, death can be a very difficult situation to make peace with. And it can be even more harrowing when it's a death we didn't see coming, like in our favorite movie or novel. Who amongst hasn't been deeply affected by the death of a person that doesn't exist? I love Kate Winslet, she is one of my favorite actresses, but I still can't forgive her for not sharing that door with Jack. The memory haunts me. "Never let go." How about... "Here let me make some space?!"
Redditor u/JJsWorkshop wanted everyone to share about which fake deaths may have mattered more than real ones by asking... What fictional death hurt you the most?A fictional death can often be too much to handle. Maybe because our entertainment is suppose to be an escape from the already harrowing parts of life. But we become so attached to these "people" that feel like kin, so when they expire, they leave a hole in our souls. And we shared such a brief time with them.
X is gone...
charles xavier not today GIFGiphyProfessor X in Logan. Like damn, a guy like that didn't deserve to go out in such a violent way. Such an accomplished and well respected man didn't deserve to be buried in some unmarked hole in the side of the road.
Never thought i could feel so bad for a fictional character.
Tears
The Iron Giant. "I go. You stay. No following"... just tears.
Death Exposure
The girl from Bridge to Terabithia probably. What still wrecks me though is Euphemia's dying moments.
I wrote a paper on that a couple years ago, about how books like Bridge to Terabithia are many kid's first exposure to death and how used properly it can be a useful tool in childhood development. Unfortunately, when a lot of teachers teach the book they tend to draw on the wrong conclusions and don't necessarily take the time to unpack Leslie's death that they should.
Oh Fork
Chidi Anagonye in The Good Place.
Agreed. Still one of the best series finales in my opinion though. Saw an interview with the cast I think immediately after where they said they wanted to end it the way life typically ends for our loved ones... With us feeling it was too soon to end and wishing there was just a little more to share. Really underrated show.
Oof. A few of those were rough. I remember the first time I encountered half of them. I still have nightmares thanks to "The Neverending Story." I've never been right around horses because of that scene. Who else feels like sharing more somber endings to ruin my day?
People Break Down The Best Loophole They've Ever Exploited
Oh Lizzie...
"Just look at the flowers Lizzie".
I was so struck by this episode... the most soul-crushing moment for me is when Carol and Tyrus find Lizzie with Mika, and Tyrus takes Lizzie and Judith inside. There's just this moment where Carol is watching them, and there's a bit of really sad but not melodramatic music, and Carol just breaks down sobbing.
Maes
Maes Hughes. Not even so much the death as the funeral.
Maybe an unpopular opinion (?) but I thought Hughes death was sadder in FMA than Brotherhood. True, I did watch the original series before Brotherhood so it was more of a shock but I feel like FMA did give a little more time to the character before his death.
I'm Down
Carl's wife from UP. Never even heard her talk but damn I still tear up at the end of that scene.
Me starting to watch up: Great, a Pixar film about a man who flies his house with balloons!
Oh Joyce
sad buffy the vampire slayer GIFGiphyJoyce and Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
"Mom? Mom? ...Mommy?"
"Your shirt-"
Instant tears. STILL.
The Prophecy
Hodor, aka Wylis, was the saddest death I've ever seen. His entire life's purpose was to fulfill a prophecy and it affected him at such a young age that he couldn't have any QOL until that point.
Slight nitpick, in the show his real name is Wylis, much unlike a coyote. In the books his name is Walder but they changed it like they did Asha/Yara because they didn't think people were capable of keeping track of two people with similar names.
Falling
Leaves from the vine. Falling so slow...
We never even knew Lu-Ten, and yet his death still absolutely destroyed all of us.
It's not really his death though. It's Iroh's grief that hits so deep. His pain. Because we know and love Iroh and therefore our heart breaks with and for him.
Don't Go!!
cast wilson GIFGiphyCan I count Wilson from Cast Away?
Because I'm counting Wilson from Cast Away.
My brain was like: Its a volleyball stop! But my heart said: We can't abandon Wilson! He stuck by us for so long! Noooo!
Game Guy
Arthur Morgan.
I get more upset when a game character dies than a movie character as I invest more time and effort into the game.
I restarted the whole game before playing the epilogue. I wasn't emotionally ready to let him go. Sounds cheesy but I couldn't help it.
Poor Fry
Seymour (Fry's dog) in Futurama.
Futurama is a funny show but those episodes where Fry kinda reflects on what he left behind always makes me think about what the family went through emotionally after he disappeared.
Yea they weren't the nicest but the episode where Fry visits his moms dream to give her closure always gets me as well.
WHHYYYYY???!!!
Black And White Bambi GIFGiphyBambi's mom.
I'm old.
I'm over 50, and same. My kids have never seen that (or Dumbo) because I just can't take it. Apparently, when I saw it in the theater as a child, I screamed out "why would you take me to this movie?"
Washed...
Wash from Firefly.
Disagree. It amped up the suspense on every action afterwords. Wash is killed, and Zoe gets downed, Simon gets shot, Mal gets his butt kicked... It established that "despite you being in the main cast nobody is safe." Shepard Book's death I think was really unnecessary, but Wash? It reset expectations and set the tone for the rest of the movie.
Oh the Grief
I was debating in my head whether it was this or Old Yeller.
On the one hand, I was younger when I first watched Bambi, and his mother's death taught me that death was a thing that happens.
On the other hand, Old Yeller showed me that sometimes the kindest thing we can do is still horrible, and that my own death will never be as bad as the grief I leave behind.
Oh Ben
scrubs GIFGiphyBen from Scrubs.
My wife has an uncanny ability to guess the twist in movies and tv shows. But this one got her. I'll never forget her gasp when JD said that line.
Bye Mark...
Haven't seen anyone else mention Mark Greene from ER. I was just barely out on my own and missing my parents. "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" holds a very special significance in my family. My Dad was watching too and when I called him after the show, we both sobbed.
I am still unable to process Joyce's passing in Buffy. I won't speak of it in public without tissues nearby. And don't get me started on Tara. No matter how much these deaths hurt though, it's all a testament to great writing and great storytelling, which makes it all worth it.
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Teachers Who Have Broken Down And Cried Because Of A Student's Actions Explain What Happened
Educators are our everyday heroes.
They deserve more respect than is given for having inspired generations of students who have carved out various paths of successes in their lives.
But did you ever think about how students have mutually inspired teachers?
In some cases, impressionable young pupils have done or said something to their teachers that invoked long-lasting emotional responses.
Redditor seesnawsnappy asked:
"Teachers who cried due to a student(s) actions, what happened?"
Not all of the responses were heartwarming scenarios. Some experiences reflected the emotional toll the stresses of the job can have.
"Mistake"
"I work with preschoolers. I had a little girl who had been in foster care, pulled from her home at a year old, because her parents were addicts, and really really f'ked up caring for her. She had really big trust issues. Her foster family were amazing folks, but she'd only known them a few months when she started in my class. It took months for her to get used to coming to school."
"Every time she'd have a visit with her mom (absolutely supervised, etc), she be a hot disaster afterwards, pushing all our buttons and just being the biggest challenge a two year old can be. One day I was having a really hard time at home, and when she started that, I lost my cool, and while I didn't yell or anything, I was clearly very angry. She got this look on her face, like now the world made sense, and my heart broke."
"I immediately apologized to her. I told her I was sorry, and that I would like to start over, and asked if we could maybe sing a song together. She came over, hugged me, and told me ' 's okay. Mistake.' And that's when I lost it."
"I was so proud of her for her empathy, and so amazed that with all her background she could forgive me."
"She's in kindergarten now, and her foster family adopted her. She's still a little messed up in the head, but getting her stuff together bit by bit."
Mother's Day Cards
"I made my kindergarten teacher cry when we were supposed to draw a picture of our moms for Mother's Day cards but my moms not alive so i drew the teacher because i had to draw something."
Gas Station Concert
"We sang to our chorus teacher in a gas station one time and she started crying."
"She had recently told us that she was leaving to go teach music to elementary schoolers because as much as she loved us, she was just too tired to keep doing high school chorus."
"We called her Momma 'Mullens' (fake name but her last name started with an M) because we loved her a lot. We were on a chorus trip—one of those where you go sing in a front of judges and they grade you but you don't compete against other schools. The gas station was our last stop on the way home, and we all decided that when Momma Mullens came out the bathroom we were gonna all start singing our best song (there was ~30 of us I think)."
"It was really something. We warned the employees beforehand, and they loved the performance. One even teared up when she saw Mullens crying. Then we all went into this big group hug and cried together."
"It's one of my favorite memories of high school. That teacher changed my high-school life and gave me the confidence to overcome stage-fright. She really loved all of us and you could tell. Most of my happy high school memories come from chorus."
Sticking Up For Marvin
"I teach PE to mostly 9th graders (14-15 year olds) . In my class I had a kid who we will call Marvin who had been home schooled up until now. He is very socially awkward, uncoordinated, and I suspect somewhere on the spectrum. Despite all of this Marvin is outgoing and tried his hardest at absolutely everything we did even though he looked like a newborn giraffe with skates on. The kids in my class were so awesome with him and always encouraging. One particular day I had another class of mostly juniors and seniors with my class and they were all playing basketball together. At one point a couple of the older kids who were known for being turds started picking on Marvin.
Before I could say anything one of the big football players (starting defensive tackle) runs up to the older kids and in a very strong southern drawl says to them 'listen here, yall gon' knock it off right now or imma start busting some a**.' Let me tell you that was the last word any of the turds said to Marvin for the rest of the year. It was an awesome moment and I am not ashamed to admit that I got choked up when I saw it. Right after class I went to the head football coach and got choked up again telling him about it and how proud I was for him doing it. Our athletic department periodically recognizes a student and gives out an award for various things like community service, athletic achievements, academics, etc... The very next award went to that kid who stuck up for Marvin. I was beaming with pride and have been his biggest fan ever since."
– EyDogEy
Concern For Our Kids
"I'm a teacher and have been crying a lot lately. I work with K-5th graders and primarily focus on social-emotional support. I am hearing kids as young as 7 say they hate themselves, 2nd/3rd/4th graders who talk about wanting to die, kids with so much anxiety they become catatonic when stressed... it's so hard to see. And with remote learning, it's not like I can hug them. I had a mom have a panic attack during a quick virtual meeting today because she's so worried about her 7 year-old son and his severe anxiety. I'm not a therapist and feel emotionally drained every day. I am so worried about this generation of kids."
– MiJohan
A Note Of Appreciation Goes A Long Way
"Just two days ago I had a 12th grade student write me a note and tell me she appreciated my concern for her. I told her the next day how special she made me feel and I cried in front of her. I have the best job in the world."
– KPerks72
Extra Set Of Eyes
"I had a teacher who accepted late work. She ended up getting bombarded with assignments a few days before grades were due, and a friend and I stayed with her (since we were her 'top students') to help her grade papers. At first she cried because she was overwhelmed, but when we were almost finished, she cried and said she really appreciated us helping out. Needless to say, 3 years later, she isn't accepting late work anymore."
Feeling Defeated
"not one, but three kids made me cry."
"when i was 23 and a brand new ESL teacher, i had to help a 7 year old calm down from a meltdown while he tried to hurl the biggest rocks and branches he could at me. one of the branches hit the door behind me and made a huge dent on it."
"during that same class period two other kids had meltdowns as well, one of them bit me and kicked me while i restrained him as carefully as i could because he was trying to throw desks at his peers (and honestly the synced breathing works), the other girl just. ran away from the room screaming bloody murder. i could do nothing at that point."
"then the principal called me to her office because a kid had escaped my class. she was Not Nice about it."
"after that, i curled up on a toilet and cried my eyes out before going home."
Effects Of Bullying
"I was called into a parent meeting (just to inform me of the situation and steps that were being taken to help the student) because one of my students who was in grade 5 told her mom that she didn't want to 'be here anymore, the world would be better without her.' She had dealt with bullying and had learning needs. I was a first year teacher and pregnant with my first child. I cried a lot that day."
We all like to see ourselves as invincible and completely immune to pain. We can handle that really long and really thick needle. Sure. Pain killers, for a stab wound... no not me. I feel nothing.
Ironically as we get older it tends to be smaller, less dramatic injuries that leave emotional scars. For instance, anything involving the mouth is going to lead to misery. But some people can laugh off a gunshot wound. Pain is different for all of us, and it is very real for all of us.
Redditor u/elle-bathory wanted to see who could bare sharing some of life's more traumatic moments by asking.... What's the worse pain you've ever felt?Foot Issues
top of the foot pain GIF by ePainAssistGiphyGout. The foot swelled up massively, it was bright red and hot to the touch. Touch was the LAST thing I wanted, just having enough air movement to shift the hairs on my foot was excruciating. Unbelievable pain that I couldn't escape from. I swelled so much that when it finally went back to normal, the skin sloughed off like I had had a massive sunburn. I could feel EVERY heartbeat, painfully, in my foot.
The Femur
I broke my femur in a car accident, all I felt was pure adrenaline like I had never felt before and no pain. They got me to the hospital fairly quickly and hit me with 2 shots of morphine ASAP. Next thing I know they were drilling a hole through my calf with a power drill so they could set the leg with a pin and I was wide awake with no pain due to the drugs. It was the other drivers 6th DUI offense.
Everything Hurts
Trigeminal neuralgia (also called the suicide disease) I'm one of the lucky ones though, that it improved with treatment so I only had it for about a year. Basically felt like someone was slamming an ice pick into my ear, jaw, and face. Even brushing my teeth hurt.
On Ice
accident falling GIFGiphyI slipped on steps one winter fell on my back had my wind knocked out, cracked 2 ribs and dislocated shoulder. And worst part is that it was like 3 steps.
Passed out pain
This is the worst pain I've ever seen someone feel. My sister had open heart surgery at 23 to repair a murmur. Several days later when she first got home the nerve block in her side started to wear off. She managed to fall asleep at the beginning but she woke up screaming like a banshee. I'll never forget it. I got her to stand up but she looked at me and went white as a sheet and passed out.
The Spiral
I shot a 3.5" spiral nail into my finger.
The doctor pulled it out with pliers, no freezing or pain killers. I had 3 nurses holding me down. I've broken many bones and it doesn't even come close to comparing.
They gave me Percocet after the fact. I have no idea why they didn't give me anything.
The nail was also almost all the way through, so you'd think they cut the head off and pull the remaining 1/2" of the nail through. Nope the grabbed the head and pulled all 3" back out the way it came. It came from a coil gun so they also pulled the coil wires back through my finger. It was excruciating.
Life is Excruciating
I've had two open-heart surgeries and I have a pacemaker to boot. Also had to major spinal surgeries, and I'm having a third one next month. (I just can't stay away! My doctor has a real nice car now!)
Anywho... they're very painful, so I get it entirely. In fact, until I met my current wife, I'd decided I was going to forego the surgery next time my heart starts failing (it's a given; 2-5 years from now) to let nature takes its course.
I just couldn't justify all of that for what little life had to offer.
Now I'm married and there's so much worth fighting (and suffering) for!
CRACK! SNAP!
I was ice skating and going through a major growth spurt when I was 13. The skates were too tight. I hit a crack in the ice and did a maneuver to stop from falling on my face. Well CRACK! SNAP! I shattered my tibia from just bellow the knee all the way down to the ankle, in a spiral fracture.
Because the skates were so tight in fact that when I hobbled and limped off of the ice and had them removed my leg did not immediately swell up. I knew my bone was broken. I could feel and hear the various shards of shin bone grinding up against one another and the muscles.
Yet, people assumed at most I maybe bruised my bone.
I went home. Limping and in the worst physical pain. My father said I was ok. But after about 12 hours and the pain just getting worse I finally was taken to the ER - where I learned I fractured my leg in 8 different spots on the tibia.
I had to get metal pins put in, and was in various casts for 4 straight months and a boot for two.
Missed a Step
spongebob squarepants cringe GIFGiphyI missed a step one morning and I folded my foot over so much that my big toe touched my heel. I made a noise I had never made before. It was like a dying rabbit who was into Finnish death metal.
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